I Saw You... Standing There Alone as I Walked Away

Hazuki found it hard to focus at school in the hours that followed. No matter how he tried to focus, his thoughts drifted towards the upcoming time he had set aside with Naoe. It wasn’t a date, or at least he didn’t think it was, but it was the closest thing to a date he’d yet experienced. The fact that it was to be with Naoe, the fascinating and mysterious plum tree girl, made the prospect even more thrilling.

Did she think it was a date?

Was she excited?

Was he too forward? Too excited? Too awkward?

She smelled like flowers.

She was still in the same kimono as always.

Even after several years, even after all his growth and change, she still looked exactly the same.

Her smile was still the same.

He wanted to spend more time with her.

Those were the things that raced through his mind all day as he impatiently counted down the minutes until he was released from his educational confinement. As soon as he was free, Hazuki left campus without a word to any of his peers. Soon his feet were transitioning from a walk to a trot, then to a job, then a full-on run. It came naturally, as though that was the default speed he was meant to move towards her.

The sun hung low in the sky as Hazuki careened down the rolling green hills towards the park and plum grove. From above, the park was a sea of pink, white, and green. Thousands upon thousands of flowers were now in bloom, both on the plum trees and on the ground around them. Colors exploded out across the land, as though Hazuki was running into an enormous kaleidoscope.

Purple and orange clouds covered the sky in a canopy of warmth as dusk began to announce its impending arrival. For the first time in a very long time, Hazuki felt a sensation of peaceful excitement as his youthful energy led him down the hill at full speed. Soon he was among the pink embrace of the flowery canopy and breathed in gasping breaths of honey and plum.

The crowd was denser now than usual, as the populace began to fully bask in the newly arrived blossoms for the year. Hazuki wiped the sweat from his brow as he weaved through the dozens of attendees that lined the zigzagging walkways. Cold air burned into Hazuki’s lungs as he calmed himself and attempted to recover from his running. Then he saw her.

Naoe was up ahead once again, sitting beneath the tree. Her knees were to her side, with her left hand against the ground supporting her weight. Her right hand rested idly in her lap as she gazed up at the clouds. Hazuki wanted to surprise her, but as though sensing his approach, Naoe turned directly toward him while he was still several meters away. Naoe smiled a more vibrant, genuine smile than she usually did as she waved in silence.

“You’re already here! Great!” said Hazuki as he approached.

Naoe smiled and nodded.

“How was school?” she asked.

Hazuki shrugged with indifference.

“Nothing there really excites me, and I didn’t have Botany Club or swimming practice today.”

“You swim?” she asked.

“Yep! I’m not great but I’m pretty good.”

“I’ve always wanted to swim,” Naoe said quietly before immediately flinching as though she was about to try and grab the words that had just escaped her lips to return them to her mouth.

It was too late. Hazuki had heard her as he sat on the ground beside her.

“You’ve never been swimming?” he asked in genuine curiosity.

“Like, at all?”

She hesitated then shook her head.

“I’ve been to the lake that was near my home and waded in that but never swam. I’ve never been to the ocean though,” she replied with a hint of sadness.

“What?! We live in Japan. We’re on an island! You should totally go!” replied Hazuki.

“We should go! I’ll go with you!” he blurted out in earnest excitement.

Naoe glanced at him but didn’t speak.

“I… unfortunately I don’t think I could go to the beach any time soon. Maybe one day…” she replied in a neutral tone.

Hazuki sensed she didn’t want to talk about it, and accepted the decision. In a wise move, he followed her lead and tried to lighten the mood.

“I bet you’d be really cute wearing a swimsuit…” he said with a smirk.

Naoe scrunched her nose and glanced at him with a devious grin.

“I don’t wear anything when I’m in the water,” she replied without any expansion.

It caught Hazuki off guard and she laughed in victory.

Color flooded Hazuki’s face.

“Too bad you’ll never see it,” she smiled in jest as she playfully bumped his shoulder.

Hazuki tried to not dwell on the visual that was raging in his mind now, fueled by his very embarrassing dream from the night before. He was smiling, but inside he was doing everything to control his hormonal body from dwelling on all of the forbidden imagery that was exploding through his mind in that instant.

Flashes of his dream bounced in his mind. Flashes of him undressed crawling towards her. Flashes of her lying beneath the tree. Flashes of the gentle skimming of her fingertips as they slid along his shoulders and neck when she removed his flowers…

“Yeahhhh… Too bad… For sure…” was all he could muster.

“Maybe one day,” he replied in recovery, testing his limits with the older girl.

“Maybe,” she replied.

Shock undid his mental fortitude and now the forbidden images were painting the walls of his psyche as he sat there. In a micro-moment, his eyes dared to steal a glance of her lips. They were pink, small, parted between words. Her bottom lip pouted ever so slightly in rest as it curved into her chin. That was enough. The instant blinked by and he returned his gaze to her eyes. To his shock, her eyes were on him and he thought she might have seen his stolen glance. Naoe did not immediately look away as their eyes met. It was only a moment, but it lingered like a petal falling to the ground in a soft breeze.

Hazuki’s lips parted as though to speak but he couldn’t come up with any words. He was certain she had seen him just then, but her gaze felt inquisitive instead of indignant. Her sanpaku eyes were full of color as the lowering sun hit them with direct light. Naoe did not immediately look away or move, and neither did Hazuki. They sat in silence, fully taking one another in. Hazuki felt embarrassed after a couple of seconds passed and she still looked at him. He felt he should look away, but her continued gaze felt as though she was giving him permission to keep focused on her.

It felt as though she was collecting visuals of him. Like she was looking at him with the intention of fully remembering his changing features. Hazuki did the same with the precious seconds he was now being granted. His eyes focused on her face. On her eyes and thin brows. On the wisps of hair dancing across her cheeks and catching on her lashes. On the red and pink flowers in her headpiece. Her nose was high-bridged and her jaw was soft but defined. There was a sense of delicacy to her but also a steady resolve. Hazuki felt a form of quiet strength in her features, and wondered what she was perceiving of him in that small moment.

“You look nice with long hair,” she replied after that shared eternity passed.

“Really? You like it?” he asked.

She nodded.

“But it looks too unkempt. You should make an effort to tend to yourself. Girls like a man that puts effort in himself,” said Naoe.

“Would… would you like that?” Hazuki asked before he could stop himself.

He felt his heartbeat begin to accelerate as though he was running once again. Naoe heard his question and almost seemed to frown and smile at the same time. She blinked twice and looked past him. Hazuki feared he had gone too far this time.

“I’m sorry. Sorry if that was too much,” he said quietly.

To his surprise, she shook her head.

“Not too much,” she whispered.

Cold February air drifted between them as they sat in silence. Hazuki watched Naoe pondering her words as though her next sentence carried an enormous weight. At the time, his youthful ignorance and underdeveloped teenage social awareness made it hard for him to process her behavior, but it stuck with him nonetheless.

Naoe resolved herself as though she had made an important decision. Without looking at Hazuki, she nodded her head. It took Hazuki a moment to understand her, then he realized she was agreeing to his question. Elation coursed through his veins like lightning. Smartly, he did not say anything that time, and instead merely nodded back to her. Unable to do anything drastic about his current hair situation, Hazuki decided to at minimum brush it out of his eyes. His fingers ran through it with ease and pulled it to the side, showing his eyes, brow, and forehead more clearly. Naoe watched him and smiled a genuine, soft smile.

Their gaze returned to one another and it seemed as the Naoe had an ocean of things she wished to say. A sadness had overtaken her. It felt as though she didn’t wish to talk anymore. Once again, he smartly decided to not speak again, and instead shifted himself closer to her while also turning his body parallel to hers. He stretched his legs out fully before him and put both hands on the ground so that he could look up at the flowers and clouds above him.

As Hazuki looked up in sincere appreciation at the vibrant scene above, he was unaware that now Naoe was stealing an unseen glance from him. Her eyes stayed on his face, taking in his expression as he watched the sky. After a moment of analyzing his pleasant, calm appreciation for the world around him, Naoe looked away. She shifted her weight to face the same direction as him and looked up at the blossoms as well. They sat in silence beneath the plum tree and watched the sky change to dusk, not speaking a word for the rest of their night together, save for a small goodbye.

“I… I really enjoyed tonight. Thank you,” said Hazuki.

“I did as well,” said Naoe.

As they stood there, Hazuki noticed passersby looking at them with quizzical and confused expressions. Hazuki couldn't help but recall he'd felt similar looks towards the two of them before. He wondered if it was just the fact that Naoe was always in a kimono, or perhaps her very traditional way of speaking that might have piqued the interest of the passing strangers. The thoughts faded and Hazuki returned to focusing on Naoe.

“Well, see you tomorrow?” asked Hazuki in earnest excitement.

“Yes, please,” replied Naoe.

Hazuki smiled then waved goodbye as he turned to leave. Naoe stayed where she was and watched him walk away. Hazuki glanced back one last time as he left. The image struck him. Naoe was standing stationary beneath the tree with her hands crossed in front of her waist, looking down to the ground. Her expression was solemn. There was an immense aura of sadness to her at that moment, but Hazuki made the split-second decision to not return to her and ask her about it. Instead, he kept walking. As he walked out of the park, his phone began to ring. That walk away would haunt him for some time.