The Storm Before the Calm

I am but a bartender, tending to the bar.

Am I allowed to kick out a customer for becoming a regular?

“That’d be a bit mean, wouldn’t you say?”

“Stop reading my mind, you bastard,” I said, punctuating that last word with a hefty amount of venom, not that it affected the recipient. That terrifyingly annoying chairman had been showing up nearly every day for an entire month to grab a drink. And every single time, he struck up another conversation, talking my ear off about this thing and that. Most of the time, it was nonsense! The few times he did try to get some info out of me I simply switched the topic.

I couldn’t stand it anymore. I had no desire to become chummy with someone who could kill me with a flick of the wrist. Who would? So, I tried to drive him off, using harsher and harsher words. Sure, the bar would get a bit of a negative reputation, but it was well worth the price. However…

“Wow, you’re learning so many new words to insult me!” the chairman simply gave an astonished smile, clapping his hands as though he was mocking me. The only benefit of talking to this ignoramus was my rapidly improving vocabulary.

“Can’t you just take the hint already?” I sighed, failing once again.

“Aww… but that’s no fun. Though, I guess I can take you up on your offer for a little while,” he spoke in a thoughtful manner.

“Finally taking another quest then?” I asked, having seen through his terrible facade.

“Mmm… something like that. I’ll just be out for ten or so days,” he nodded. “But don’t worry! I’ll be back before you know it!”

“Please don’t…”

“Ha ha, okay. I’ll be off then!” He left with his chimera maid(?) in tow, chuckling the whole way out. A massive sigh of relief escaped as I collapsed onto the countertop.

“You know, you can stand to be a bit nicer to the guy,” my boss Brennan said, stroking his beard. “He seems to like you. Maybe give him a chance?”

“What in the world are you talking about?” I groaned, not bothering to lift my head.

“Do I have to spell it out? Actually, knowing you, that does make sense. You’re oddly ignorant when it comes to basic knowledge,” he muttered to himself, though with my magic, it was clear as day.

“Just get to the point.”

“I’m saying that he wants to be your lover.”

“You mean, that thing where two people live together, have sex, and make babies?”

“You don’t need to be so explicit,” he mumbled with a blush. “But I guess that’s close enough. I don’t think explaining the concept of love will mean anything to you.” Well, he wasn’t wrong. I was technically a cloud. But he was also completely misunderstanding the situation, not that I couldn’t understand. For some reason, that chairman had unusually precise control of his mana, enough that he could compress or spread it out at will. To pretty much anyone, he seemed like your average everyday eccentric. You had to be as strong as me to glimpse even a portion of his potential – an impossibility for most people.

I tried to clear up the misunderstanding, but before I could get a single word out…

BAM! Someone stumbled in through the doors, collapsing from exhaustion. Through labored breaths, he yelled, “The Adventurer God and her party are coming!”

“Wha–”

“You can’t be serious?!?”

“The Adventurer God?! Here?!? We need to prepare!!!”

The announcement sent a flurry through the guild as everyone basically started to run around in a panic. It seemed they were trying to tidy the place up and brought out only their most skilled workers. Although, some seemed to be panicking a bit too much, given that nearly a quarter of the adventurers tripped over their feet.

“Why is everyone panicking so much over one person?” I gathered from his title he was probably a high ranked adventurer, but was such a procession really necessary?

“Listen here, Melora. You know how the guild ranks adventurers, right?”

“F-A with the top being S?”

“Yeah, but those are just general categories. Even within ranks, there are some adventurers that are stronger than others. As such, the title of ‘Adventurer God’ goes to the person who sits at the top of S-rank.” Brennan explained in a low voice.

“That means…”

Creak…

Step. Step. Step. Step

The air in the guildhall seemed to freeze as four people decked out in blue-silver armor strolled in. It seemed to be a party of four women each wielding a different weapon – daggers, a spear-tipped staff, a bow, and a weird sword. Their looks seemed comparable to the receptionists, though only the swordsman was smiling. The other three had a rather strained expression on their faces. Still, given the tension, I could only assume this was the Adventurer God.

This weak woman was the strongest person in the guild.

The guildmaster stepped forward, quickly rubbing his hands back and forth. “Welcome to our humble little guild, my lady! Thank you for gracing us with your omnipotent presence. To what do we owe such a pleasure?” I had only seen the guildmaster a number of times, but he typically had a much more imposing stature. In front of this “Adventurer God” though, he was basically offering to kowtow to her every whim. Maybe if she were stronger than him, I could see why, but she wasn’t. I could count on one hand which adventurers were weaker than her. Did it have something to do with that armor? It was hard to tell.

The swordsman surveyed the hall, as if looking for something, before locking eyes with me. She had a somewhat oppressive smile on her face as she sauntered over all important-like.

Huh. Deja vu.

“Ah! Are you looking for a drink? Well say no more. Melora is our best bartender, able to make amazing flavors using her skills with water and wind magic,” the guildmaster continued to ramble. It would have been a bit more believable if he had tasted one before, but whatever. The swordsman wasn’t listening to him anyway. She simply kept staring at me, as though confirming something, before saying two words:

“Found you.”

The next moment, her sword was a hairsbreadth from impaling my neck.

…so not deja vu.