Super Replacement! 💖

“Well, that’s just how it is, I suppose,” Snowcube said. “Even if it’s the case that I lack the passion and Snowball lacks the calm, that I’m the ice to her fire and vice versa, it’s incontrovertible fact that I am the flesh-and-blood person—”

“Clone!” Snowball interrupted.

“... Yes, the flesh-and-blood clone, while she is the robot. Anyway, where was I? Oh, right. No more interruptions, please.” Snowcube cleared her throat. “My estimable mission was to attend school, all in pursuit of a deeper understanding of the human psyche. Emotions, thought processes. That sort of thing. Around six months ago, I was feeling lonely and had decided to create a robot companion for myself in my own image.”

“Snowball?” I asked, even though I already knew the answer.

“Correct. The robot that I created was Snowball. I have to say that creating her was one of the worst mistakes of my short life. If I had known what a pain she was going to end up being, I would’ve scrapped her the moment I finished assembling her. Or better yet, never built her to begin with.”

Snowball stuck her tongue out again, but Snowcube just ignored it this time.

“Finally, the arrangements had been made for us to enter school, so it was time to put our plans into action and begin the mission. Snowball and I had decided to share the burden. I would attend some days, we agreed, and she would attend others. With that decision made, Snowball elected to test the perilous waters of high school. On our first day of school, she was the one to go.”

Yeah, I thought, don’t remind me.

“But then… but then…!” Snowcube tensed up, hugging the Super Secret Love Diary 💖 tight. “Stupid, stupid Snowball just had to go and fall in love with a human.”

“Yup!” Snowball started clinging to my arm again, which, aside from being as uncomfortable as usual, was also making that bad feeling I was getting before bubble up in the pit of my stomach again. I couldn’t put my finger on why I was getting such an “off” vibe about this situation — I mean, aside from the sheer incredulity and borderline incomprehensibility of it all, of course — but if I had to run, make a break for the exit, it’d be hard if Snowball had me by the elbow like she did.

That said though… and I can’t believe I’m saying this… and don’t quote me or anything… seriously, ok? Don’t. But I gotta admit: after not having Snowball around for a week, I kinda missed how she always did this. Even if she was crazy.

It’s embarrassing, but I can’t deny it. I had definitely missed her.

“Even worse than that,” Snowcube continued, her voice dropping to a low murmur, “I did too.”

“Did what too?” Fence asked.

“F-f-f-f-f-fell in… you know… with… uh…”

Her eyes dropped and she started flitting her gaze — a gaze sharp as an icicle, but now melting — between the floor and… wait, me?!

Ugh. Just when I thought things couldn’t get any more ridiculous. Couldn’t I just, y’know, have a normal, non-insane, and most importantly human girl into me for once? Instead of these loonies? Please?

I guess the answer’s no. Figures.

My own take on and apprehensions about the situation aside, Snowcube’s mannerisms were pretty realistic for a clone of a robot. Not that I had any points of comparison per se, but her face was flushing red and her voice was cracking, so it was all pretty real-feeling.

“O-o-of course, one can’t exactly blame me,” Snowcube said. Who the heck was one? “Snowball was monopolizing all our time at school, and all because of you. She wanted to see you every single day and spend as much time with you as possible. That was why she never let me attend school. Not even once.”

“Aw, that’s not true! I was gonna. I just hadn’t gotten around to letting you yet.”

But Snowcube wasn’t even paying attention to her creation at this point. “Even still, I made sure to review Snowball’s accumulated memories every single day. And that was when I too…”

Snowcube looked up at me, face still poised away, with eyes covered partially by long, fluttering eyelashes. Well, covered by bullet-proof-glasses-covered long, fluttering eyelashes, really. At least, I think she did. It was getting pretty dark in here and the lights weren’t coming on, so it was kinda hard to tell. Still — and this part’s embarrassing too, but I’m including it in the story anyway, cause it’s the truth — that look kinda stirred something in me. It was almost like a tug at my as-yet-un-tugged heartstrings. I couldn’t say what that feeling was at the time. Even now, I still can’t. I still don’t know. I still can’t place it. I can’t place it, but…

I think it kind of reminded me of the day I first met Snowball.

To be continued!