Why do I feel sad?

“Hey Jinko, you looked pretty out of it back then, everything okay?”

We were changing into our sports clothes in the changing room. After the mysterious girl from the café, Rui, showed up, I was already shocked enough to see her again, but when she saw me, it seemed like she forgot who I was. When I went to introduce myself to her, she just nodded expressionlessly and replied: ‘I’m Rui,’ and that was all.

It’s not that surprising that she doesn’t remember me. After all, we only saw each other once more than a month ago.

“Hello? Jinko, are you listening?”

But I really wasn’t listening. All I could think about was Rui. How pretty her eyes and face were, how nicely her hair looked, and how sad I was realizing she actually forgot me.

Why am I sad that a stranger doesn’t remember me? Why am I sad now, when I wasn't before?

David, noticing I wasn’t responding, just sighed and gave up.

*

It was my first practice game. David volunteered to show me the basics, like how to hold the racket the correct way, where to stand, and how to serve. They always rented two courts for two hours, and because me and David were taking up one of them teaching me, the other people decided to play singles on the other one.

I occasionally glanced over, curious about how they were playing. At first, I was amazed by how well everyone played, but then I was stunned when I saw Rui.

She was wearing regular sportswear and a big headband, completely dominating the game.

I thought she was also a beginner. Why is she so good? I would even say she’s better than the others.

I stared for a little too long, and a shuttlecock smacked me in the face.

“Jinko! Pay attention!”

“Yes, sorry!”

But Rui being really good at badminton wasn’t the only surprising thing.

“Jinko, move your feet faster!”

“Jinko, don’t take unnecessary steps! It throws you off balance!”

“Jinko, hold the racket properly! Your shots are too slow like this!”

Given how calm and collected David always seemed, I was astounded by how strict he was. He was like a completely different person.

“Pause, please!”

But the moment I asked for a break, it was as if someone had flipped a switch, and David returned to normal.

“Oh, sorry, was I pushing you too hard?”

I looked at him, bewildered.

Does he really have a switch on the back of his neck that goes off when he's playing sports?

“No, I’m just not really the type to exercise much.”

“I know I’m a strict teacher, but I’d say you’re doing good for your first time.”

“Huff, huff... thanks. By the way, did you really need to bring two other people to replace the ones who got sick? If you rented two courts and there are six of you, couldn’t you play a lot with plenty of breaks?”

“Well, yes, but we usually like to play doubles and that’s hard to do with six people and two courts. Also, you once mentioned you were looking for a new hobby, so when some people couldn't make it today, I thought it would be a great opportunity for you to try something new.”

“Wow, that’s really nice of you.”

“Oh, it’s nothing, really. Did you rest enough? How about we go for round two?”

*

For the first hour and ten minutes, I trained with David, while the others took turns on the other court. Sometimes they played singles, sometimes doubles.

After that, David complimented me yet again.

“You’re really good at this Jinko. You’re just lacking stamina.”

I answered half-jokingly while lying on the ground, gasping for air.

“Maybe, huff, I should go pro full time, huh?”

“Haha, if you try hard enough. We have about fourty minutes left, do you want to try playing against the others?”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to be the reason they have to hold back.”

“It’s fine. I’m sure they won’t mind.”

“Well, if you say so.”

I tried playing one on one against some of the others, namely Otto, Kotoba and Max. Even though I knew they weren’t playing their best, it was nice to see that I could somewhat hold my own and at least return a couple of shots.

When I finished the game with Max, he exclaimed.

“Not bad. You’re playing decently enough for your first time.”

“...Thanks.”

I don’t know why, but that didn’t really sound like a compliment.

Max looked at his sports watch and spoke.

“We have seven minutes left. Do we wrap it up or should we go for one more?”

David thought to himself and answered decisively.

“Let’s let Jinko play one more game, since it’s his first time.”

Otto agreed and spoke up next.

“Good idea. How about you play against Rui, since she’s also new here. What do you think, Rui?”

“Sure.”

“Nice. Does someone else want to play on the other court?”

Eventually, they decided that Max and David would play one on one on the other court, but that didn’t really interest me much.

I’ll be playing against Rui? That makes me a little nervous. She seemed really good when I watched her play. Will she hold back at least?

“Let's have a good game.”

“Yes.”

She sure doesn’t talk much. Her voice is really beautiful, though... What a shame. Wait, what am I even saying?

I took a shuttlecock and gave the first serve.

*

“Ah...”

It hadn’t even been the seven minutes we had, and the match was already over. And I had lost brutally, with a cruel score of 0-11.

It wasn’t even close, not for a second.

"Haaah. I expected you to hold back at least a little."

Rui looked at me, a slight look of confusion appearing on her otherwise expressionless face.

“I did hold back.”

“What?! You did?”

Rui simply turned around without saying anything more and started walking away.

“I really need to work on myself, don’t I?” I said to myself, thinking nobody would hear me, but Rui suddenly stopped and turned her head to face me.

I guess she didn’t think I would be looking at her, because as our eyes met, she averted her gaze right away and continued walking.

That was weird...

I looked around, spotting David watching us, frowning.

“Oh, hey, David, do you think... Hm? What’s wrong? I've never seen you make a face like that.”

“Ha? No, it’s just...”

Then, Max interrupted and put his arm around David’s shoulder.

“It’s just that he hates losing, right? Cheer up, dude, you almost had me. Almost. Anyway, let’s clean up, people.”

“Yeah, you’re right. We’re out of time. The group after us will be here any second.”

We started picking up our shuttlecocks, bottles and towels, when David noticed me looking at him.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I was just wondering, about Max...”

“Ah? Ehm, yeah... We’re both just pretty competitive, that’s all.”

“Really? You don’t strike me as the competitive type.”

David laughed, awkwardly.

“Haha, well, what can I say.”

Why is he acting differently? I guess he really takes badminton seriously.

“Anyway, what were you about to ask before?”

“Oh, I was about to ask if I could come again next week?”

“Really? That’s great to hear! Sure, you can come. I’ll let you borrow my second racket again if you want.”

“Thanks, that’ll be helpful. But are you sure we don’t need to ask the others if they’re okay with it?”

David just turned to the others and asked loudly, so everyone could hear.

“Hey everyone! Could Jinko come again next week?”

Everyone looked at each other and then started laughing.

“Sure, I don’t see why not.”

“Yeah, of course.”

“The more the merrier as they say.”

I felt a little embarrassed at first, but then I just laughed along with them.

*

As we walked out of the building, David and Otto were about to head to their bus stop, when I called out to them.

“David, wait!”

“What’s up?”

“I thought I could borrow the racket and a few shuttlecocks to take home and practice a little.”

“That’s fine. I like your enthusiasm.”

“Appreciate it. I’ll probably buy my own racket after a few weeks if I keep playing with you.”

“You don’t have to rush it. And once you decide you want to buy your own, let me know. I know a lot about this stuff.”

“Okay, will do. See you on Monday.”

“You too.”

I was about to walk to my bus stop with Kotoba when I felt something strange. It felt like something was poking the back of my head. But when I turned and looked around, the feeling quickly disappeared, and I didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary.

Am I really starting to lose it? It’s like that time in the hospital. What’s going on lately?