Getting Pistol Whipped Sucks

Great, more stairs.

Of course the only way out of this ransacked bar basement was to go up, which wouldn't have been an issue if Eddy wasn't having second thoughts...

"You know, those guys up there have guns. Maybe we can just live down here from now on." He started arranging some empty wooden crates like a table and chairs.

Over my dead body.

I beeped at him in disapproval, as I tapped myself against the bottom step.

"But we don't stand a chance. We don't even have any weapons... Besides, it isn't so bad down here. At least it's not dark."

Wait a second...

That last part he said echoed in my mind until I suddenly came to a realization. There was a single illuminated light bulb hanging from the ceiling. Somehow it was getting power.

I wheeled across the basement over to the breaker box on the wall. Beside it was a large white box with a blue logo on the face of it that read "SunJog". It was a battery for a solar panel system.

Jackpot!

If only we could just get rid of those bear guys, then we could steal the panels off the roof of this bar and set them up near our cellar. We'd have a near limitless supply of power. I just needed to get Eddy off his cowardly butt to help me.

From his pocket, Eddy pulled a retro translucent purple Game Kid Color and fired up his copy of Pokerman Golden version. Tapping away at the buttons, he acted as though all his worries in the world suddenly vanished.

Trying to snap him out of his lackadaisical daze, I rammed his shin.

"Ouch, that's not going to work this time." He lifted both his legs and rested them on another crate.

Someone’s getting cocky.

Unfortunately for him, I knew something he didn't...

"What the heck?" He inspected his console. "Shoot, the battery died." He took the back cover off and pulled out a set of two AA batteries.

Too bad for him, that was his last set of batteries. He looked over at me. "You don't happen to have any AA batteries on you, do you?"

I'm a vacuum. What do you think?

I beeped twice at him. Now that I had his attention, I led him over to the solar battery, which he got excited over as well.

"Oh shoot, I could power my GS5 forever with this." He looked back over to the stairs. "Maybe it couldn't hurt to just take a look up there..."

He was finally seeing things my way. All it took was video games to motivate him.

🌞🌞🌞

Cautiously, Eddy entered the ground level of the dive bar and placed me down on the uneven wooden floor boards.

"Geez, every inch of this place was looted." He muttered.

All the cabinets behind the counter were busted up and completely bare. The beer tap dispenser looked like it had been smashed and drained dry. There was even an outline on the wall where there was once a dartboard and four marks on the floor where the legs of a pool table had been.

Somebody definitely loaded up their man cave.

Eddy Peeked out of a small gap between the boards that were nailed up on the window. "Those bear guys could be anywhere?"

All that matters is they aren't here.

I wheeled over to the back exit of the establishment. There definitely didn't seem to be a way to get to the roof from inside, which meant our only option was to check outside.

I would have beeped to try and get Eddy's attention, but I didn't want to risk making too much noise. As quietly as I could, I glided over to him and spun in circles until he noticed me.

"Do you want me to follow you?"

Obviously.

He followed me over to the exit, where he seemed to understand what I was getting at. Slowly and as quietly as he could, he inched the door open bit by bit.

I rolled out first, to ensure the coast was clear, which it was. Eddy stepped out behind me.

He looked up toward the parapet roof of the outdated brick building. "You really think there are solar panels up there?"

There better be or else it's back to hunting for gas.

I made my way over to a maintenance ladder, which was bolted to the side of the building. Getting up there would be simple, but actually getting the solar panels down was going to be a whole other issue.

"That's pretty high up..." He whispered, as he hesitantly approached the ladder. "Isn't there another way up there?"

Less talking, more climbing.

He nervously sighed then proceeded to tie me up inside of his security blanket around his shoulders like a makeshift backpack. Despite him stopping a handful of times on the way up to reconsider, he persisted and made it to the top.

Directly in front of us, were the set of medium sized solar panels bolted directly to the roof. Eddy became wide-eyed as something else caught his attention. "I-is that a dead body?"

Slumped over the side of the solar panels was a skeleton with a wrench still clenched in its hand.

Once again, someone's misfortune has become our fortune.

Eddy begrudgingly poked the skeleton's hand, as he reached for its wrench. "I'm sorry Mr. Skeleton, I just need to borrow-." Suddenly, he pulled his arm back after the skeleton's boney meatless hand disconnected from its joint and fell to the ground.

Looking conflicted, Eddy stared down at the severed appendage and then back at me. "Maybe you could nudge the wrench out of its grasp so I don't have to touch it..."

Someone's getting bossy.

I let out a huff in my mind as I pushed the hand off to the side, freeing the wrench.

Eddy picked the tool up and was about to start undoing the bolts, when something else distracted him. "Woah, no way!"

Laying on the ground was a break-action shotgun with a wooden stock. Eddy naively grabbed it in one hand. "I can't believe I'm actually holding a real gun. It's just like the games."

You of all people should definitely not be operating a firear-

I spoke too soon. He unintentionally pulled the trigger, discharging two shots of 12 gauge into the air.

"Geez, why the heck is it so loud." He said, as he cupped his ears.

A voice came from down below. "They're up bear!"

Are you kidding me!

The three bear guys had us surrounded. There was no place for us to run.

"If you come down by the count of three, we might not unleash our grizzly side on you." The polar bear guy shouted up at us.

"Maybe we should listen to them." Eddy considered.

That's a terrible idea.

At the moment we were sitting ducks. If we complied with them, there was nothing stopping them from just shooting Eddy and looting his corpse. On the other hand, there was nothing stopping them from climbing up here and also shooting Eddy. Either way it seemed like the end result would be the same.

"One..." The panda guy began counting.

"What should we do, Rom?" Eddy turned to me as he panicked.

Hell if I know. I'm just a vacuum.

"Two..."

Tears streamed down Eddy's face as he started toward the ladder. "Make a run for it, Rom. I'll distract them."

You idiot! I don't have legs. How the heck am I supposed to run?

I had to admit, he meant well trying to sacrifice himself to save me... but why couldn't he have enough common sense to at least bring me down with him. It was pretty much inevitable, if he was killed, I would run out of battery up here and it would almost certainly be over for me.

Well it was a good run...

"Three-." The panda guy stopped as Eddy came down with his hands up in the air.

The Koala guy approached him with his handgun drawn. "Bear's the car keys?"

"I-in my pocket." Eddy stuttered.

As the koala guy knelt down to check his pockets, Eddy did something completely unexpected... With a handful of sand, which he managed to conceal, he tossed it into the koala guy's eyes and threw a punch while he was momentarily stunned.

Unfortunately, Eddy's attempt at being the hero would be in vain. The Koala guy Immediately retaliated by pistol whipping him. "That wasn't beary nice!"

Eddy fell to the ground, knocked out cold.

"Load him in the truck. I'm sure Papa Bear can put him to work back at camp." The polar bear guy ordered.

Koala guy and Panda guy proceeded to drag Eddy's unconscious body away.

I can't let it end like this.

Nearly at the end of my battery life and having a slight sense of guilt over the way I treated him, it seemed like I only had one option... I backed up as far as I could across the roof, then faced the ladder.

It's now or never.

At full speed, I propelled myself off the roof and into mid air. All I had to do was stick the landing and-.

Ah f-!

As I hit the ground, I tumbled and landed upside down in a pile of sand. With my wheels facing upward, there was nothing I could do. It seemed like this was the end of the line.

I'm sorry, Eddy. There's nothing else I can-.

My battery finally hit zero percent and my consciousness abruptly faded…