The Identification Ritual

“I don’t recognize you. Are you new here?”

I was shocked that I could understand him. It was like the words of the unknown language translated into English in my mind as my brain processed them.

“Uh, you could say that.”

“Are you of this world?”

At first, I didn’t know how to respond. What if they’re hostile to those from other worlds? In the end, I figured if I lied, they would be able to tell pretty quickly. May as well rip off the band-aid.

“No, I’m from earth.”

“Ah, very well. Stay here for a minute, I need to call some people over to escort you to an identification center.”

“Ah- alright.”

I was kind of nervous. Sure, it seemed normal enough. However, I was somewhat suspicious of ulterior motives. I guess as an American, that sort of thinking was just baked into me at the time.

A few guards gathered and escorted me through town. Although the town was not very populated, the buildings were close together as if it was. The place was nothing like the sprawling suburbs and disconnected strip malls I was used to. With guards in front of me and behind me, people stared as I passed. They seemed wary of me, almost like I was some sort of criminal being taken to prison.

We entered the Guild, Identification, and Tax office. It was all in the same building. The receptionist running the guild side slid her rustic recreation of an office chair over to the identification desk.

“Hello, are you the new guy?”

The guards parted.

“Indeed I am.”

“Great, we’re going to need your first name, last name, date and country of birth, and your fingerprint.”

I gave them the information and the receptionist looked a little surprised.

“America?!”

“That’s right.”

“I had only heard stories of it from others summoned from earth. You- you’re the first one, sir!”

“I am aware.”

“We need to confirm, write today’s date in your native world.”

“Alright, here.”

The receptionist pulled out a chart and studied the date.

“Month first, just like they said. And wow- 2025 already?”

“Yep, it’s March.”

“The date lines up with our charts. Time really does fly in your world. Were you just sent here today?”

“Yes.”

“In that date slot under your date of birth, I’ll fill out today’s date for you. Time seems to work differently between worlds, and our date system is different from your home planet.”

“Okay, I’d guess this planet is pretty big, then.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, I learned in AP Physics that gravity can affect how time flows. The more massive the planet, the slower time seems to move. How many earth years is a year here?”

“Right now, about 10.”

“What the-“

“Hmm?”

“I don’t feel any heavier here, and yet the gravitational pull is ten times stronger? That’s insanity!”

“I’m sorry, but you’re mistaken. I don’t know why, but things work very differently here. For now, it’s probably for the best that you don’t think about it too much.”

“Alright. I guess I’ll try to figure that out some other time.”

“For now, come into this back room. We need a little more info.”

I went into the back room and they collected my fingerprints. All ten. One of the workers told me that there had been some problems with shapeshifters, so the state had to take extra precautions.

“Shapeshifters? Like magical shapeshifters?”

“Yes. Many people here are magic users, and it’s likely you can be one too. Shapeshifting isn’t inherently evil, but it can be used to commit all sorts of fraud. It’s been a real problem. Fortunately, they always make a little mistake when going for fingerprint precision.”

“Ah. That- makes a lot of sense, actually.”

“One more piece of information. How did you die?”

“How did I- uh, don’t worry about that. It’s kind of embarrassing.”

“It’s alright, don’t sweat it too much. Lots of people here died in strange, embarrassing ways. This is a safe space. We need to know this to approve large-item purchases, so make sure to not tell anyone else.”

“Um, alright. Let’s see…”

“Cynthia, use a lie detection spell to make sure he’s telling the truth.”

The receptionist turned back to me.

“This information is important, and we can’t have you making up any stories about it.”

“I see.”

Cynthia stood up from her chair across the room and walked over. She raised a staff and said the magical phrase for her spell: “reveal the truth to me in this one’s words”. The end of her staff began to glow. I sighed and looked down. No getting myself out of this one. Steeling myself, I looked back up at the receptionist with an honest intensity.

“I was dunked into hot frying oil at a fast food restaurant.”

There was a pause and then a couple of light chuckles.

“Yep. That was the truth.”

“Thank you Cynthia. That’s bad, but many have had much worse. We even had a guy who was thrown out of a window into a pile of shit once.”

“What? Really?”

“Yes. He’s passed in this world by now, so we feel like we can talk about it. He was from Prague; sweet guy.”

“You knew him?”

“Only in his later years. He came around every once in a while to bring us food and hang out with guild members, giving them advice. It was at his funeral where I learned of his previous death.”

“Interesting.”

“Now that we have your information, we need to make a card. Fortunately we have a spell for that. Cynthia, could you do the honors?”

“Of course. Create a card to recognize this man.”

Once again, Cynthia’s staff glowed, and a card dispensed from its glowing tip.

“How did you do that?”

“I’m British, so I need to use Iambic Pentameter to cast my spells. It’s just how British incantation works.”

“No, I meant how you- wait, British incantation?”

“Oh yeah, magic is cast using an incantation relevant to your culture. It’s completely different depending on where you lived in your previous life. We haven’t had an American yet, so I don’t quite know how yours will work.”

“I can cast magic too? Would anyone know how?”

“Right now? Probably not. You have to be the one to figure it out, or you could wait for another American to materialize.”

“Damn.”

“Keep this card safe. If you lose it, you’ll have to come back and there is a small replacement fee. Mana is precious, so using it comes at a price.”

“Yikes, okay. I’ll make sure to be careful with it… What should I do next?”

“Don’t worry, we will hook you up with an inn to stay in for now. There’s a magic school down the street that might be able to help you start casting spells. They can consider that a research project and get your lodging covered by the state.”

“Really? You would do all of that?”

“As the first American, you’re basically going to be a lab rat until we can get this figured out. This research is going to be very valuable for future entrants. Are you up for it?”

“You bet!”