Kidnapping and Another Dumb Plan

Sunlight filtered through the dense forest canopy, casting filtered golden beams on a grisly scene. A fountain of blood cascaded out of the Goblin’s wound as Richard’s sword met its mark. The particularly ugly goblin let out one final pitiful cry before collapsing into the dirt.

“That should be enough for one day,” Richard sighed tiredly as he wiped the grime from his blade and resheathed it.

“You know,” Garret leaned on his own sword as he counted the bodies, “for a guy who supposedly retired, you have been joining us on hunts quite often lately.” Marking the final tally on the quest sheet, he straightened up, “Not that I am complaining. It’s good to have my buddy back in the saddle again.”

“Listen, courtin’ means datin’,” the former former adventurer wrung the sweat from his pompadour, “and datin’ means money. This is the only way I know how to make money, since I can’t sell my body anymore.”

“Right, no one will get with you but the demon lord.”

“Stop repeating the plot of the novel, we already know…”

After collecting the remains of their loot, the two men started their way out of the forest back to the guild hall.

“Speaking of which, how are things going with Morrigan anyway? Figure out how to keep her happy?”

“Not cheaply… You think demon lords are cheap to please? I can’t just show up with a couple of shiny rocks and call it a gift.”

“You did just that, though.”

“Hey!” he jammed a meaty finger towards his friend’s face, “she actually liked those rocks, thank you very much!” Sigh. “But now she expects me to actually try.”

“Tough break.”

“You don’t know the half of it. Just the other day, she-”

Right as those words escaped his lips, a black shadow rolled up from behind, casting them both in sudden darkness. How neither of the trained fighters could sense the figure approaching bewildered them both. Even more so, how quickly the entity came and went, leaving only a whirlwind of dust in its wake.

“What the heck was that?” Garret coughed, clearing the dirt from his eyes.

Not hearing a snarky response from Richard, he glanced to his side. Only the outline of his out of shape best friend was left behind.

Quickly turning his eyes back to the skies, he saw the shape of two large black wings on the horizon, with Richard held in the creature’s grip below. His arms and legs flailed as he cried out: “Put me down! What the hell?”

Dumbfounded, Garret only sat there, watching his questing partner disappearing into the distance at a speed he had no chance of catching up to.

“Eh, I’m sure he’s fine…” Hitching his rucksack back onto his shoulder, he continued on back to the guild hall. “I’ll just claim his half of the reward until he gets back.”

It didn’t take long for Richard to find himself skidding across a smooth stone floor. The winged beast that had snatched from the edge of the forest had burst down the giant wooden doors before tossing him into the grand room like a rag doll.

Finishing his roll as ungracefully as possible, Richard found himself ass-end up before an imposing black throne adorned with even more imposing black spikes. Seated upon said throne was a familiar sight to him reading a book and sipping from a wine glass.

“Oh, hey Morrigan. How’s it going?”

The dark skinned demon loudly shut the book. Her purple eyes glowed intensely in the dim candlelight. Rising from her seat she spoke in a tone that rumbled in fierce intensity.

“What is the meaning of this?”

“Hell if I know?” Richard grunted and righted himself while rubbing his sore rump.

“Not you.” Her voice was as sharp as her glare. “Why have you done this, Veyla?”

Turning to where Morrigan’s fiery eyes pointed, he saw another demon beside him, genuflecting with her head low and her bat-like wings pulled tightly behind her. She was thin and lean, but muscles rippled under scarred skin across her body which was barely covered in thin strips of fur that appeared to be freshly ripped from the animal’s hide.

“Lord Valkris,” the tanned demon answered, her fangs peaking out as she spoke, “I, Veyla Noctis, have heard of a devious plot by the humans to bring about the Hero in order to ensure your ruin.”

This is Veyla Noctis, Commander of the highest order of soldiers in the Demon Lord’s army, The Shadow Legion. She is Morrigan’s right hand on the battlefield.

“Yes. And…?” The Demon Lord questioned back, still profoundly upset in her subordinate.

“And this pathetic waste of flesh is prophesied to father the Hero. I have brought him here to you so you may slaughter him, bringing an end to the Hero before he can even be born.”

“Hey! I am not a waste of flesh!”

The Demon Lord sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Veyla, I am aware of all of this. Also, his name is Richard.”

“Huh?” the other demon blinked in confusion, her long spiky hair bristling behind her, “What are you saying? You know this human?”

“Not only do I know him, but he is my boyfriend.”

“WHAT!?!?” Veyla roared loudly.

“Yes, and slaying was never my plan. It was for him to sire the Hero with me.”

“What’s with everyone summarizing the plot today?” Richard grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest with a huff.

“So-so-so-” The warrior demon rose to her shaky feet, her cheeks beet red. “—so that means you… and him? You-you two are going to… do the fusion dance?”

“Does anyone here actually get that reference?”

“Veyla…” Morrigan groaned as she approached the other demon, who had her hands holding her warm cheeks. “Do you not know how babies are made?”

“Of course I do!” Veyla huffed and puffed out her slender chest. “A strong man and a strong woman train very hard together. And when the time is right, the Devil blesses them with a baby.”

A long silence followed. Only the sound of a crow calling in the distance could be heard.

“You know,” Richard mused, “I can believe that’s actually what her parents told her.”

“What does that mean, human!?”

“Veyla, dear, come here…” Morrigan called over the other demon to her side. Wrapping her arm around the other’s shoulder she whispered into her pointy ear. As the whispering continued Richard could only make out a few words and a couple more hand motions. One that involved a finger ring and another going through the opening.

By the end, the demon who had most likely seen hundreds of battlefields was crimson red all over with steam billowing from her ears.

“That… That’s what those are for!?”

“Yes, and I shall use his in order to bring forth the Hero so he shall do my own biddings.”

“Speaking of which,” Richard piped in, “when are we getting onto that?”

From across the chamber, Morrigan’s clawed finger landed right between his eyes as she leaned over him, “We are going to be a cute couple and do cute couple things first. And then, and only if you are lucky, will I consider taking things to that part of my plan.”

“Wait!” The flabby man rose up to meet her, “you mean your whole plan is a maybe? So I am not gonna get la-?”

Richard caught himself as he saw his girlfriend’s cheeks turn a rosy hue he hadn’t yet seen from such a strong woman. She nervously played with her hands, pressing her fingers together as she tried to look him in the eyes but darted them away quickly as she could behind fluttering lashes.

“I am just… not ready yet…”

The confused anger instantly evaporated from his face, leaving only a goofy grin and a beaming affection. “Whatever you say, cutie…”

He was so wrapped up in the warm fuzzies surrounding him, he didn’t even notice the hand suddenly gripping his face, crushing it out of proportions. The worn mitt threw him backwards causing him to smash through the stone wall behind him.

“Why the face each time!?” was what eventually gurgled from him as he emerged from the rubble.

Huffing with rage boiling in her eyes, Veyla roared again. “Don’t you dare even think about doing such foul things to Lord Valkris. I will not allow you to defile her pure and pristine body.”

“Veyla…”

“I haven’t even gotten the chance yet!”

“I can’t allow this!” Clenching her fists, Veyla rose upright and took on a defiant stance. “If Lord Valkris wants for the Hero to be conceived, then I-I-I-” She struggled with the last bit. “I SHALL TAKE HER PLACE FOR HER!”

Knocking the last bit of rocks from his pompadour, Richard cast a confused look towards the demon nearly in tears. “Uh, I am sorry, I might still have something in my ears. You are going to do what?”

“I shall carry the child in Lord Valkris’s stead so she remains pure. My child shall pledge fealty to her no matter what.”

“Uh, you do know what that means, right?”

“Yes,” placing her hands on her hips, “You and I shall do the fusion dance.”

“I don’t know what I was expecting.”

“That’s enough, Veyla!” Morrigan smacked the back of her subordinates with a well-placed karate chop. Veyla covered her sore skull with tender hands, faltering her imposing demeanor. “I shall continue on with my plan as intended.” Richard’s eyes grew wide, and his pompadour bounced with excitement. “When the time is right, that is.”

The Demon Lord helped the now depressed adventurer from the wall he had been thrown through and opened a portal back to his home.

“And don’t forget to pay for the damages to my doors, Veyla.”

As she still tended to her recent wound, Veyla made a quiet pledge to herself, “I shall protect the Lord. I won't let that filthy human defile her.” With that terrible ideas began to form in her wicked mind.