A Few Good Dreams

Sleep was full of fits and shakes for Hazuki. As Naoe sat beside him and watched over his rest, she saw and heard the tremors and flenches of a wounded psyche. Fits of wretches and muffled grunts came through the entirety of his rest. All the while Naoe was there with him, trying to make sense of the boy before her that had once been so full of energy and happiness. After several hours, her hand instinctively reached out to rest on his shoulder in comfort, but Naoe remembered his terror from before and decided to merely move closer to him.

Silence amid Hazuki’s sleep allowed Naoe to reflect on the events of the day. Emotions were broiling inside her in a way that she had long forgotten. It caused her slight unease but also brought a welcome change in demeanor after decades of drifting. How long had it been since she’d told anyone her secret? How long had it been since anyone had seen her? She wondered if anyone else was still alive who had once seen her.

Naoe wasn’t sure why she had told the truth to Hazuki. There weren’t any direct consequences to it, but in the moment of deciding to reveal her secret, she had felt a heavy dread that he might be scared away or think she was lying. That dread had almost been enough to stop her, but in the end, she found herself longing for him to know. To truly see her. To stay. The fact that he did stay and had spent the entire day with her afterwards; all the way to asking her to sit beside him while he slept, brought her great joy. So there she sat, watching the night terrors shake his body as she wished she could stop them.

For Hazuki, dreams of trees finally returned after years of being dormant. In his dreams, Hazuki walked beneath the earth along a path of enormous roots that stretched like stairs across the void.

In the real world, his breath quickened and Naoe leaned closer. His exhales became sighs that sounded equal parts strained and pleased.

In the dream, Naoe was at the center of the root system, nestled against a towering tree trunk and glowing white in a beckoning light that pulled Hazuki forward. As Hazuki got closer, the base of the tree parted in a dripping sigh. The bark folded against its edges and its horizontally curved opening gaped wide enough for Naoe to be pulled into its darkness by unseen tendrils.

Hazuki let out a moan in the midst of his grunts. The sound of his breathing and the pull of unseen chemical messengers dug into Naoe’s body and drew her closer to him. As he panted, her eyes closed without her meaning to, and her lips parted. A warm pulse drifted up her legs and towards her hips. Sensations felt heightened across her skin as she unconsciously moved closer to him

Dreamstate Naoe had all but vanished into the darkness of the tree’s sap-soaked tunnel. Her hand was all that remained; extended out and beckoning Hazuki forward. An unseen sigh from her lips echoed out from the darkness and caressed his ears as his fingers touched her hand. The tendrils ran along her fingers and roped themselves around Hazuki’s arms. His eyes closed in acceptance and soon he was pulled forward into the darkness with her.

Naoe’s thoughts returned and she abruptly opened her eyes. Her breath was heavy now as well. The tightness of her obi felt snug against her ribs and her chest rose and fell in small, embarrassed gasps. Naoe now saw how close she had gotten to Hazuki and quietly shifted away from him. As she did, a single tear of realization ran down her face. She could sense his dream and remembered his earlier comment about dreaming about her. It was a harbinger of suffering that she knew all too well.

“It’s you. Oh no, it’s you,” she whispered as more tears rose.

This time she did let her desirous hand touch his ever so slightly. He didn’t flinch away this time and seemingly didn’t notice in his deep slumber. It felt warm to her skin.

“I’m happy it’s you. I’m happy it won’t be you,” she said as he slept.

Daylight came and Hazuki’s eyes eventually opened on their own. Naoe was still beside him; seated eyes closed and meditating. His eyes opened without a word and he watched the surreal image beside him. Her pink kimono was as clean as ever, as though she wasn’t actually affected by the world around her. Her hands were small and smooth. Her neck was elegant and thin. Strands of hair sat weightless on her shoulder as the breaths from her nose caused the fabric of her kimono to shift ever so slightly with each inhale.

Her hand was still on his and when he finally sensed it, his fingers flinched but he stopped himself and didn’t immediately pull away. The flinch was enough to break Naoe’s meditation and she lifted her hand as she faced him.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

He shook his head.

“It’s okay.”

“You were having bad dreams.”

“I always do. Thank you for staying with me,” he said as he looked at her.

Naoe felt his gaze was more penetrating than usual. His dark, sleep-filled eyes peered at through the mess of hair hanging in his face but he didn’t look away from her as he lay there. To her surprise, Naoe found herself not wanting to look away either. Her hand returned to resting on his. Bodies appeared at the tent. Naoe heard them approaching and saw their shadows arrive on the fabric.

“Hazuki. Hazuki there is someone here,” she whispered.

His eyes awakened fully and he bolted up from his repose.

“Can they see you?” he asked her.

“Not likely,” she answered.

Hazuki frantically gathered his things and began to apologize before he was even out of the tent. Outside, two officers were waiting along with a park employee.

“He isn’t a problem. Please!” said the park employee.

“I’m sorry. I haven’t asked anyone for anything or bothered anyone. I’m sorry,” said Hazuki with a deep bow.

“This park is not for sleeping. There have been reports from citizens. The tourist season has begun and we cannot have you staying here,” stated one of the officers as he stepped towards the tent.

Naoe was there hiding in the tent but it did seem as though none of the others could see her. Still, as the officer stepped towards the tent, Hazuki felt a sense of terror that she might be seen and the two of them be accused of something indecent.

“I’ll move. I’ll move out of sight,” he answered.

The officers paused and sighed in frustration.

“This tent better not be here this afternoon,” said the first officer as he stepped back.

The park employee bowed then began escorting them away with a quick glance over his shoulder to see if Hazuki was okay. The employee was a small, round man in his middle years. Hazuki had seen him through the years. As the employee shuffled the officers away, Hazuki extended his hand to help Naoe out of the tent. Naoe noticed his knuckles were rough as her fingers briefly grazed against them but she quickly pivoted to focusing on the shake emanating from his hand as he held onto hers.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

Hazuki blinked and clinched his jaw before trying to speak but could not. The tremors continued and he stood there still holding her hand. Blinks came faster and he turned away from her.

“I’ll- I’ll find somewhere nearby…” he said quietly.

Both of them could feel a weight of despair slowly gaining force between them. After years of being apart, the notion of being separated again for even a moment felt like a blow to the chest. Even though the park was enormous, Hazuki now feared that his ability to stay there would face greater friction if he was now being watched by the local authorities. Naoe finally tried to speak.

“I don’t want you to go. I… I want you to stay near,” replied Naoe in a low voice.

Hazuki turned to her after blinking his eyes clear.

“You can’t leave this tree in any capacity?” he asked.

Naoe didn’t respond at first. In her head, she was weighing ideas and solutions. Leaves around her rustled in the breeze and she looked up at the blossoms.

“I have to be near the tree, but what if the tree moved?” she asked.

“What do you mean?” asked Hazuki.

A frantic solution proposed itself to Naoe and she reached up to a nearby branch and plucked a flower blossom. Excitement shined in her nervous expression as she looked to Hazuki then slowly began to step away from the tree. Step by step she moved inches further from the trunk, until the grass met the sidewalk. Naoe paused and inhaled then stepped forward with her eyes closed. Her body tensed as though awaiting some sort of impact but nothing happened, causing her to exhale deeply and then turn in elation to Hazuki.

“It doesn’t hurt!!” she proclaimed with excitement.

“Hurt?” asked Hazuki.

“I’ve tried to leave the tree before, but it felt like my whole body was being touched with a hot iron as soon as I left the range of the roots. It doesn’t hurt now!” she replied.

Hazuki stepped to her and joined her on the sidewalk.

“So when we first met?...” he asked.

“I was trying to see how far I could go, but the pain was excruciating. I closed my eyes and didn’t see you coming. Otherwise, I would have moved. I was even more shocked that you could see me after you ran into me,” Naoe answered.

“I’m very grateful you were on the sidewalk that day,” said Hazuki.

“Me too,” answered Naoe.

Once again, she began her cautious steps, stress-testing the range she could go, all the while holding the blossom in her hand like a sacred talisman. Each step seemed to bring her greater and greater joy. Hazuki limped along beside her, ready to grab her and rush her back to the tree if necessary. Still, the pain did not come, and she soon was several meters away from the tree. Naoe paused and inhaled deeply in celebration of her temporary freedom.

“I think if I have something alive from the tree, I can move freely!” she said.

“So as long as the petal is alive and on you, you can go wherever?” asked Hazuki.

“So it seems!” said Naoe with a spin of joy.

Following several minutes more of range testing, the two of them slowly made their way back to the tree. Naoe’s blossom petals had started to curl and they feared the lifeforce might fade soon. Thus they returned to the tree and began to pack Hazuki’s tent.

His personal effects and shelter were loaded into his backpack in solemn acceptance. Naoe looked out at the thousands of other trees.

“It’s a very big park,” she said.

“Have you never seen it?” Hazuki asked.

She shook her head.

“My tree used to be by itself. These were all planted and cultivated, but it was long after I had been confined. So I got to watch everything change and grow, but never experience it.”

Hazuki pondered her answer.

“We can start trying to explore if you want. With more blossoms…” he proposed.

Naoe seemed to like the idea but she smiled her familiar, secretive smile that held hints of sadness.

“That only lasts so long, and I don’t want to hurt the tree. But we can try,” she answered.

A single blossom was selected and clasped into Naoe’s left hand. Hazuki hold out his left hand and Naoe took it in her right. With a deep breath in, she stepped back onto the sidewalk and the two of them set out into a new direction within the park.

This became their routine over the next several days. One blossom per day was the ration, and they decided to only trust its longevity to a few hours. Still, it was enough time for them to slowly make their way through the sea of blossoming trees and fields of vibrant flowers. Through the days, their hands stayed together like a binding thread. Every new view was a moment of wonder and joy for Naoe and Hazuki found himself rekindling his true appreciation for the park.

Each smile from Naoe chipped away at his silent wall of trauma-hardened distance. Often it felt like he was experiencing the wonder and joy for the first time himself, or at least in a similar sensation to someone waking from a long coma. Just as the trees shook off the freeze from the harsh winter and greeted the world in a blooming display of life, Hazuki found himself thawing from the winter of his soul. Naoe felt it as well, and even with the secret festering in her heart, allowed herself to experience as much joy in the moment as possible. Whatever sorrow she’d felt waiting for him, she knew she would stop it from ever coming to fruition. Whether or not he ever knew about it, she did not yet know.

For the moment, she was focused on the sensations of happiness and new adventure blooming in her heart. It had been some time since she had felt anything close to that, and she was grateful for Hazuki to be there sharing it with her.

He had found a hidden grove nestled in the western edges of the park that was decently off the walking paths. They felt it was the safest option for him, so he made his home there. Every night, he would stay awake as long as he could so that they did not have to part, then would silently make his way to his secret hideaway for a few hours of fitful sleep.

Even when he was hundreds of meters away, Naoe could feel his dreams pulsing and gliding through the darkness to her heart. When they arrived, she closed her eyes and luxuriated in the sensation of being connected to him even when he was not there. It was a sensation she cherished, and she hoped one day he would as well. No matter what, those days were days of light and impermanent hope. Just like her blossoms, she knew they would bloom in vibrance then fall and fade. But for now, their world was full of color and pleasantness that she hoped would last just a little longer.