23 ~ January night. Wing 3. Second half

It was still raining. It was always raining.

Maybe they were below an ocean, or at the thin end of a funnel that linked the two ends of an ocean, in an impossible geometry. Maybe if they tainted the water in a specific and strong colour, sometime later the rain would fall carrying the same colour?

She was lost. She always had been.

Somewhere between the fall of reality and dreams... Dreams of many, their gentle feelings passing through her mind, decade after decade.

Love, fear, hopes. Sometimes anger. Now that her mind was restraining itself only for her own feelings, she could understand a little better what life could be.

In another time, she might have been the one holding the doll in her hands, and wishing for something that made no sense to it. Living and caring for it as a mere object. Growing old, forgetting all about it. Forgetting her own dreams, living in a world from which she would never be able to change any rule... Living with a body she could barely control in its functions.

Life was a different jail.

But she still wanted to be imprisoned in a wider world, rather than being free in the void...

What she was, despite her powers in the colosseo, would never bring any change or difference in the reality above.

If she managed to reach it with a body, she would most likely abandon all power, and possibly all memories also, from what was beyond her own personal being.

Mary-Esther was aware there might be some compromises to be made, in order to become alive. She was conscious that most of the things that made her but were hard to describe as realistic above, she would likely have to give up on them.

She would lose perhaps even the memories of this past jail, maybe even of her entire sense of self, to find herself dumb and naked, in a dangerously harsh world...

Or waking up as Blue did, with more memories from another dream, than the real world itself. But maybe without anyone near to help her and care for her.

For Mary-Esther, even though her heart ached when thinking about it, she would still choose to sacrifice everything and live as a true human but for a day, rather than staying there as the god of this realm for another century.

She was ready to sacrifice everything, even if it meant that as a human she would be powerless and die shortly afterward.

Being a day, or twenty years, it was the same unforgiving unknown.

She wanted to be, even though it meant to die definitely onward.

Mary-Esther found herself in a library at night.

It felt not exactly as if waking up, but rather as remembering where she was and had been all this time suddenly.

She could see the stars behind the windows.

These were glints of the universe far beyond reach that surrounded the small yet infinite planet Earth.

That sight from the window, she was ready to sacrifice her memories, her powers, her eternity, just to experience t truly for a day.

She walked cautiously on the wooden floor, making it slightly creak below her bare feet. It felt amazing.

She picked up a book on one of the shelves, letting the perfume of leather and paper escape. She inhaled it deeply, savouring it.

She then brought it in that beautiful darkness to a small table and chair a little further. There was a pen lying there. Even though she couldn’t see much, she tried to scribble something with it.

She could hear all the ripping sounds of fibres as she did. Everything was a delightful music to her.

Everything there she loved... But something was missing, something important.

It came back to her like a long forgotten memory quite suddenly.

Her love. Her forbidden love for Blue, that made everything possible, and made her wish she could find life by her side...

In the beginning, it all had felt being just for her...

The light being switched on suddenly blinded her. Someone entered the room noisily. The overloading of sensations dazed her.

Someone was calling for Blue with a younger voice.

Mary-Esther was still shielding her eyes from the light, in confusion. She felt she was suddenly falling and flapped her wings around suddenly in reflex. The books around were moved by the gust of wind she brushed that way in her fall.

She heard the rumble as she was falling through the floor and back into the darkness.

Back in damper darkness. Back into the odd way for dead souls to possibly reach back the world of the livings.

Back to the place where her love was gone.

~

Mary-Esther woke up freezing in the mists.

Beside her, some of the tables from that immense cafeteria were now broken, as if she had fallen on top of them.

Upfront, the large doors to the balcony were partially covered with ice, and still showed the rain falling behind.

Her wings were hurting more than her head. They had hit the tables somehow as she had been out, or falling. Maybe she had really moved around here while her senses had been above.

She gathered her strength back and moved slowly toward the door on the end of this large room. She walked a little slower than usual, feeling tired and demoralised to return in this cold world.

The dreams were more pleasant, like always.

How could she tell Blue she was worried for her still?

She was without means to contact her now.

Mary-Esther opened the door behind which the new stairways had appeared.

To climb to the 23rd level...

Only the 23rd. So much time, pain and efforts, for what really felt like slow progress.

She was barely above the middle of the tower if it was fifty floors. And after so much pain...

With all the times she had changed the world and all the times Blue had come before, she was only so far?

Maybe she had lost the proper track, or something else was now wrong...

At the end of the stairways that seemed to come from an old medieval castle as usual, with cold stones all over, she reached a door that looked more modern.

She entered a hallway that looked closer to the nineteenth century that any other place before.

It was dark but clear and clean, without as much mist. Now it felt like being inside an abandoned hospital from the last decades, albeit with the windows barred and fences shut.

Everything was quieter, the shadows a little deeper. Some rubbles and rubbish were scattered around the corners, as if the building had been left hollow for quite some time.

Walking cautiously in this new environment, she reached the large room that this hallway was crossing.

A large room with tiling on the floor looking more refined.

On her left was utter darkness, on her right, she could notice large doors with some light sipping from behind.

She felt a shock, as it looked like the light of day, behind what would be the entryway and its shut doors.

Mary-Esther felt a little desperate, running to them, and finding them locked.

She tried to break them open with force, seeing more light entering the place through the fissures between some boards. She though couldn’t open it nor pry it open, and began to feel like she was panicking for a moment.

Her breath had turned shallow as she stepped back for a moment, thinking she was missing Blue’s visit again...

Blue had returned, and she was locked in this side of the colosseo away from her.

After a moment of rest and then another minute of vain fight against the doors and their lock, she stepped back with a different resolve.

She would use that other strength.

It was too soon after her last return, so it felt as more awful and difficult to bear, but she forced it to happen anyway.

As she focused into that painful sensation drilling her head and vibrating through her limbs, everything began to tremble around her.

Mary-Esther’s feet left the ground for a second. The doors slammed themselves open to the daylight and inner

Mary-Esther felt then suddenly pulled out violently into the

She was being transported to Blue.

She wished she could resolve the painful problem that had arisen before...

~

Blue was pale.

She had deeper coloured skin under her eyes. She seemed to be ten, or even twenty years older than before because of how she looked unwell.

It could have been an older sister instead of her thought Mary-Esther. But it was definitely Blue...

Both were there and facing each other again.

It had been long for Mary-Esther, and possibly even longer for Blue.

But Blue looked tired, and not willing to dream anymore. She was no longer smiles.

More than that on this day, she was facing Esther with resolve. She wasn’t flinching, and looked unhappy but steady.

Mary-Esther stood up still feeling conflicted and uncertain.

How long had it been for each of them since the last time? Had things improved up there?

She hoped so, but could clearly read in Blue’s attitude that everything was likely worse than before.

Blue’s presence was casting odd shadows on the ground.

The sunlight above them was weaker and differently coloured than usual.

Mary-Esther had no more stories to share.

Because Blue was silent, standing there and looking carefully at her, she could mostly hear the walls winning.

Mary-Esther feared the hate from her beloved one.

Once again, she found that the only sensible thing to do was to offer her heart.

She unstitched a few buttons from her collar, showing an opening to her chest.

Blue watched without a word, but appeared surprised.

M - I’m... so sorry Blue. I’m in despair... You mean everything to me... My heart aches more than my head, for you...

Blue remained silent and defiant.

Esther was telling her the truth.

It was quite simple in the end.

M - I’m not able to refrain myself from progressing... No matter what, even if it would break my heart and destroy everything I am, I will keep trying to reach the surface... I’m sorry...

Esther was begging. More than a wish for absolution, it was her primeval instinct to do so and say the truth about it.

She would always try to reach the world.

She would eventually sacrifice everything she knew toward that goal, as much as it would hurt her just considering it.

And even her love for Blue wouldn’t be sufficient to stop her.

She was now sad but clear on it.

Maybe because she had felt it to be unrequited.

Perhaps because in truth, she still felt more alone than she could bear.

M - Maybe what I shared with you was far from enough, and still so far away from being true love... Only true love could stop me... Or perhaps I should say free me.

So Mary-Esther was now warning Blue, in the most apologetic and sorry of manners.

M - If you want things to change their course... It will be yours to act... If you want my train to change its course, it will be yours to make it happen. It’s not a declaration of war by any mean, but rather a claim for responsibilities. Because as much as you couldn’t stop yourself from living, I will not be able to stop myself from trying to live.

Blue was left with the difficult choices to make. Esther’s sternum was exposed, and she pointed at it as the place where to strike if Blue were to choose so.

In front of her, the three winged Esther was offering her heart exposed to be pierced, if that was the only choice left for Blue to end this folly now.

Mary-Esther brushed some tears away, and repeated something with a shy voice.

M - I sincerely love you Blue...

And it was hers to decide their fate.

Mary-Esther was not on her knees to beg or await judgement, but she was opening her arms and closing her eyes.

If Blue wanted to stop her, if she wanted her to disappear for ever, now was the time to stab her in the heart.

She wasn’t really playing an act in order to induce a choice or another.

Esther was sincere. She always had been.

Now, it was simply the kindest offer she could make if things were turning for the ugly out of her reach. The only fair one she could give, to the one she loved.

For Blue to kill her now, then and forever, or to let her reach her own life by all means.

Knowing what it could otherwise come to imply.

Since no pain came to reach her, Mary-Esther eventually lowered her arms and reopened her eyes momentarily.

She made the world turn shimmery and shivering oddly for a second.

A sword appeared in Blue’s hands, catching her by surprise. Esther closed her eyes again, keeping her sternum exposed and still. They knew she had a heart and what it meant.

She had already told Blue everything. There was nothing left to say.

M - I always have had a heart for you. Now is the only chance I will give you in this world, so please choose.... For now and forever after.

~

Mary-Esther was breathing slowly, waiting. For either the sound of the sword hitting the ground, or a distasteful pain through her chest.

Thinking about Blue, and how older she looked, she wondered again how long it had been for her.

How much time had passed for either of them, she would never know.

The rain was falling. The walls were whispering insanities and other things about them. The cold mist still surrounded their feet, but was vanishing.

Mary-Esther felt no sword touch, but fingers reaching her skin. The surprise made her shiver and reopen her eyes.

Blue was close and reaching to hug her firmly.

She whispered with her own voice something that did not sound like a committed decision.

B - Your only link to reality, it’s me, right? Esther?

M - I... I believe so.

B - And you will always love me, no matter what happens?

M - As long as I exist...

B - cannot you come to love anyone else more than you already love me?

M - No... Not until I leave, and grow apart from you at least... Why are you asking me all this Blue?

B - Because I have my choice Esther...

Mary-Esther had been filling up with the warmth of something alive touching her body, as if some brighter energy was coursing through her with thrills, and the queer taste of soot reaching her mouth.

She couldn’t react anymore.

B - This is goodbye Esther... I will never come down here anymore.

Blue was stepping back slowly, letting Esther feeling cold again. She didn’t dare asking if Blue could do that.

B - If you can make it on your own... I will wait for you as long as I’m alive.

Blue disappeared as abruptly as she used to. She bolted out before Mary-Esther could react.

She was still paralysed by the surprise.

Just like that, Blue was gone, leaving behind a painful promise.

The night had fallen again. Not the real night from the other world, but this shapeless darkness and mere lack of light from this cave.

Her heart was pulsing slowly the blood in these imaginary veins in her arms and legs.

Or perhaps it was pushing ashes... Or else...

She was trembling. She was worried and wondering. She had not yet fully realised it might have been her last time with Blue close to her...

It could not be that way...

She could not abandon her to wander for ever down there!

But as she thought these words over, another hand had reached for the sword left behind on the ground.

And before Mary-Esther could realise that someone was there, she felt something piercing her back.

She suddenly felt that her heart leaked and exploded inside her chest. The sword’s tip was sprouting out of her chest, ripping her skin and staining everything dark from dripping blood.

~

It might have been bold.

It might have been useless.

But as she saw Blue still enamoured with that demon, she snapped and chose to try her luck. She gave it a chance, the only chance to stop her now, before it was too late.

Scarlett knew what was at stake, both in reality and where she remained... She knew what was the only choice left to make, to stop that demon...

Scarlett had struck her, perforating her chest throughout, aiming at her heart within.

When Esther’s body, moaning and chocking before her began to fall ahead, She let go of the sword that was stuck to the hilt with it.

The body fell on its knees and then down, as blood was spilling.

Her wings fell lifeless beside. The sword was piercing her entirely.

Scarlett felt that her anxiety began to calm down, but her hands were still trembling. Perhaps this was enough to kill that strange dragon? Since she had picked up the sword left on the ground, she had been ready to die for good; but perhaps she had just won.

Scarlett was unable to believe she had just won. She was still catching her breath back, but spoke her mind as if she was taunting a defeated opponent.

S - You might have said that you truly loved Blue... It appears that I still love her more than you do... More than she does... Turn back to the doll you once were, because today, I was the real blue rose for them.

Scarlett had been spiteful and envious, now she was shedding it.

She heard a cough, and began to shiver.

She stepped toward the body to hit it, but something brushed her off suddenly.

Mary-Esther was rising her body a little, pushing over her limbs. Stains were spreading on the ground and blood dripping from the wound.

Something made mechanical noises unfit a human.

Scarlett saw Esther’s arm getting dislocated from its shoulder, and turning around in an awkward way, looking to reach the sword handle.

She found it, and the hand grabbed it, to pull slowly the weapon away.

Blood was spilling even more on the ground and squirting away from the wound. Blood...

Scarlett was now even more worried, realising that Esther’s appearance had changed with each new wing. Since when did she had blood in her skin?

Perhaps she was indeed becoming more human, in more ways than one.

The blood on the ground seemed to be boiling, drying fast and bubbly. It had vaporous fumes going along the stains.

Mary-Esther pulled the sword out entirely in a choking sound. Ripping it away and spreading more little stains around.

She tried to talk, and spat blood away. She threw up a little more.

When Scarlett tried to go for the sword, Esther raised it menacingly toward her.

Mary-Esther looked fairly enraged now. She spoke with a hoarser voice. She was mad.

M - But I saved her... I gave her a soul, my soul!

She was holding her bleeding wound with her other hand, and seemed in genuine pain. She was crying, she was suffering for real, weakened and mad at Scarlett.

M - What have you done... You think you can bring me down? You believe you can stop what will be?

S - You can’t hide yourself behind claims of love and faith anymore. You want to kill her. You want to steal her life! You might have deceived her all this time, but I see you for what you truly are now! You filthy daiûa!

Scarlett was moving toward the blade of the sword raised at her. It was shaky, Esther having troubles holding it now.

M - I am... god here... I want...

S - You want a sacrifice to live, well I’m ready to sacrifice you and myself to stop your ambition now! You are no god, you’re just a daiûa!

Scarlett taken with as much wrath jumped at her, avoiding the blade and pushing her with unexpected strength toward the balcony. Despite her weight and wings, Mary-Esther didn’t manage to fight back properly, still moaning in the awful pain from her bleeding wound. She was not even sure that her heart was still beating.

There was a shock against her back, and suddenly the rain falling onto her face, making her gasp and nearly drown already.

Scarlett was still all over her, but it felt so cold, colder than ever...

Then she lost her balance, while Scarlett was meanly plunging a hand inside her wound, still holding onto her. They fell over the handrail of the balcony together. Scarlett’s wrath was now boundless.

They began to fall. Esther began to fight back and scream in further pain. She began to rip to shreds Scarlett’s flesh.

Meanwhile, they were still falling and the hand inside of her was grabbing her wounded heart again.

It felt atrocious and Esther was yelling her pain.

They were falling already passed their cloth roof’s ruins. Esther let her power explode against Scarlett in a form of sudden spell.

Scarlett’s body began to rip apart in sudden and invisible wrath.

With her last bit of strength, she bit Esther’s face, ripping some of her skin between her cheekbone and eyebrow. She might have taken her eye too, but had already lost her own in the slaughter to notice it herself.

Her head was turning into chunks under Esther’s wrath, and turning into vapour right after.

Scarlett’s hand ripped the wounded heart she reached and everything of her was suddenly over.

Mary-Esther’s long scream of agony and maddening pain through the fall was brought to an end when they reached violently the ground of the colosseo.

It made a loud noise, splashing the water around.

But quickly, the rain made every trace of their struggle disappear, along with whatever the outcome might have been.

The rain was still going, along in that fake night. There seemed to be nothing else anymore in the colosseo.

~

The scream of Esther during her fall had echoed. It propagated itself deeper than a wave, a bolt running along the walls like nerves, slamming the doors open or shut, rummaging through every place in haste.

Elise heard it in her dream and woke up suddenly, as shocked as if the yelling had occurred just beside her.

The walls around her were still echoing it and shivering.

Some dust was falling from the ceiling and disappearing in the mist rolling around the ground of the room.

Still entirely dressed up because of the cold temperatures, Elise rose from her bed in haste, now worried. She quickly jumped into her winter boots and pressed on. The ground was slowly trembling below her as she walked, and the sound of a wider heartbeat was coming out from every wall.

The claustrophobic feeling was growing, and she understood that something bad had happened to Mary-Esther.

Something different than usual, which now worried her. The consequences could be dire for them all now.

The sounds of heartbeat coming out from the walls, as she went toward the lower levels, gradually turned into something else.

That slow and deep heartbeat that permeated through the walls turned into whispers, pulses of whispered words all around her.

Elise was growing worried for Esther and her own sanity now as she kept going further.

The worry changed to simple dread when she began to hear the walls talking and speaking around her.

Not conversations nor speeches, but short sentences or words seemingly random.

What was happening? She could hear the walls telling her with a voice close to her own, repeat what she had in mind.

Because she had heard the scream of the falling being, she presumed that something, likely Esther itself, had fallen down. But Esther could fly a little... So she was going down there as quickly as she could, trying to bear with the ruckus the walls were making around her.

They were still trembling slightly all along, losing dust and even fissuring here and there as Elise ran through them in rising terror.

It seemed like the whole place was under a long lasting earthquake; or a volcanic eruption was starting close by.

Elise could hear other thoughts from her own mind while she was climbing down ladders they had built before, to go down faster through the levels than the corridors and stairways could allow.

But she could also hear thoughts from her sister, and from Esther as well. Mostly things Mary-Esther might have thought or said at a time or another.

Some voices were screaming as if something horrible was happening, just behind a wall, door or ceiling next to her.

Some were thankful apparently, or tearful. Another was threatening. Elise felt like people were screaming at each other all around her, making her run that more painful to focus on.

Although they were mostly whispers, and sometimes unintelligible, she noticed that all the voices she could hear were feminine for some reason.

She was close to the last ladder going down straight into the pool of the colosseo’s ground.

The walls were terrified of something.

They were scared of her, of course.

The one who was defying them all, and closing in to her own victory...

She would soon defeat every wall the world had laid between them, and Earth.

They were close to fulfil their dream.

Elise was climbing down the last ladder.

The rain was still pouring against her and the pool below.

She couldn’t hear the walls anymore under that constant ruckus of water and ice splashing.

Esther would be...

Elise jumped the remnant height.

She landed onto the pontoon they had built just above water level. She then got closer, thinking again to the thing, the only thing that kept her thriving all this time.

Her own ambition keeping her focus for so long, her sweeter dream...

Even if she had to bargain the help of a demon for it.

She called for her, she looked around.

The only thing she found there was a sword, broken and corroded to its core by some rusty stains.

Elise dropped it, since it didn’t matter. Something was off.

She fell lost.

The walls were continuously trembling.

She felt the sensation rising from the ground, that it was over.

Esther wasn’t there anymore...

She could feel in her veins and hear it in the whispers still reaching her, that Mary-Esther was gone.

Her last feathers were floating around, and being carried away by the water under her eyes.

The dreamer was gone...

~