Chapter 6:

06

Extracurriculars 怪獣教師


The kaiju woman held her position behind Tenjouin. Because Tenjouin's next move was impossible to predict, Ms. Kamiya held her offensive stance. Ms. Kamiya's claws remained positioned behind Tenjouin's neck.

What is it that Tenjouin thinks I am worthy of?

"Worthy of what?" I asked, of course. If you're wondering something, why not ask someone who might have the answer? Unless the time, place, or what have you is uncalled for. I'm well aware there's a time and place for everything, and that there are things you shouldn't say.

"Worthy to be my husband."

Ah, I see. Everything up until now must have been a dream sequence, and I will promptly wake up to reality slapping me hard in the face. It pains me to accept that Ms. Kamiya's reciprocation of my feelings was but a dream, but I will be happy with just the memories of it. Well, thank you to my mind for letting me have such a sweet dream. I appreciate it. It's far too early to be returning to reality if you ask me because there's lots more I want to do here, but it seems it was not meant to be. Goodbye, Nishioka Manami. I never got to see you, but I heard your voice. You sounded like the caring type, so I leave the others to you. Goodbye, Tenjouin Atsuko. I barely knew you, but I'm flattered that you found me to be a suitable partner. Please find yourself someone else suitable to make you happy. Goodbye, Kamiya Yuriko. I'll miss you most of all, monster limbs included. You're my everything, and this short time we've spent together is the highlight of my life, even if it never happened. When I wake up, I'll be sure to go right back to loving the real you. Now then, I think it's time.

『You're not going to wake up. It's not a dream, dumbass.』

What a convenient time it was for Akua to pop in and say hello. She knows exactly what I'm thinking and feeling all the time, so it shouldn't be that hard for her to stay quiet and let me have my moment. I don't think she would want someone interrupting her while she was giving her final goodbyes to her companions. Comparing her sudden 'appearance' to the annoying scale of her typical behavior, this absolutely unforgivable interruption was far more audacious than anything Akua would try and pull off. Crazy, even.

I guess I'm the one who's really crazy, for referring to her like she's a living breathing person. A mere voice in my head should receive no acknowledgment of that sort.

But how shitty of an ending would that have been? It was all a dream? The story just started. I haven't had time to do any dreaming. One day, when everything is said and done, I'll say my goodbyes to my friends, the story will end and another will begin and all that, but that's far off.

It's way too soon to be talking about a departure of sorts when I'd just arrived, per se. Personally, I hate it when a story ends. The fact is that a story can't continue forever, and I understand that, but when a story ends, it feels like your connection with the characters and world within it is severed. It's a form of loss.

I don't expect anyone to feel that loss when this story comes to an end, because after all, the world is no better knowing the story of Inotani Takuya than not. But I hope that you can derive a little entertainment from my tale, that way you don't leave empty-handed; and as uninsightful and unphilosophical this tale may be, perhaps you might learn a thing or two.

I'm merely telling the story, and what you make of it is up to you, but be mindful of the message you take away (if any), because now that I think about it, this whole story should probably have a big "Don't try this at home" plastered all over it.

More appropriately, "PLEASE don't try this at home".

I'll cut short the sentimental stuff there. It's not the time nor place for that. The last thing anyone needs to do is dread the end, so I apologize if I put that on your mind. I'll make up for that by getting back on track. And if anyone cares, and if it makes you feel better, even if this story ends, you'll still hear from me. I have much to say.

I figured it would be okay to leave this situation unresolved if this were a dream. I would wake up, and they'd have to figure things out on their own, even though they'd cease to exist as soon as my eyes opened. Since this was not a dream, it became an urgent matter which I couldn't delay attending to.

『Let's see you use those smooth talking skills to get out of this one.』

"Husband?"

"Yes. Inotani Takuya, you will marry me, whether you want to or not." She said, as she once again pointed the handgun at me.

I wasn't at all ready for a committed relationship. Not with Tenjouin, anyway. She may be tall, slender, and curvy. She may also appear to be two to four years older than me despite an age gap no less than one year between us, and she may also have long beautiful hime-cut hair. But her stunning outward appearance does not absolve her absolutely obstinate, power-hungry, pompous personality. I've heard that to be married is to waive your freedom, but to be married to Tenjouin is to be locked in an invisible prison cell which confines you everywhere you go and has no key for either the jailor or yourself to open it with.

"If you refuse, I will not stop until you are mine. I will do everything within my power to marry you. I will follow you to the ends of the earth if that's what it takes for you to finally get tired of running and give up." Tenjouin passionately exclaimed, with a scary glare in her eyes.

"You threatened to expel me but your 'expulsion' ended up actually being a bullet to the face. Why should I believe that getting 'married' to you is actually getting married, and not being chained up at your place for my whole life?"

"When we are officially married, I will be by your side as your wife, and not your captor. I will be there for you when you need me, and I expect you to do the same. We will grow old as the happiest power couple ever."

Those were some ambitious dreams that I was not on board with.

"Explain to me again why you want to marry me."

"You're strong, attractive, though mainly strong, and to be frank, looking at you accelerates my heartbeat and makes me want to have your children. Aren't those enough reasons?"

"What about love? Do you love me?"

"I don't know." she said. If you're going to ask someone to marry you, or in this case threaten someone into marrying you, the answer will always be no if you don't love them. Or at least if you don't claim that you do even if you hate their guts. It would've been a no from me either way, but marriage proposals are made upon the shared understanding between two people that they love each other, and there was no way I'd marry someone who can't even give me that. Mutual love goes two ways, so I guess I'd be at fault as well. I did not love her.

"Then I can't marry you."

"I just said that I don't know if I love you, and that's mainly because I've never felt it before. I didn't say I can't love you."

"It's still gonna be a no."

"Why? Is something wrong with me?" She asked as if she was genuinely oblivious to her own personality.

You're rude, pretentious, and invasive. You're violent. You're closed-minded. You think power is the way to achieve your goals and get the things you want. You have a god complex. You lack empathy, and you lack common sense. You are tyrannical. You are one of the last people I'd want to spend the rest of my life with in not-so-holy matrimony. All of this I figured out in less than three minutes.

"No, nothing at all."

"So why won't you be my husband?"

'I don't want to' should be reason enough, but that wouldn't fly with her. Neither would 'I don't feel anything toward you other than a slight disdain', 'You bother me', 'I don't love you', or 'I'm into older women'. I struggled to come up with a reason that someone as stubborn as Tenjouin would accept. That was until I looked at the expression on Ms. Kamiya's face.

She was livid. Her teeth were so tightly gritted that it looked like she might start foaming from the mouth in rage. Her claws were already near Tenjouin's neck in case she needed to take action, but she swiftly and silently readjusted them to sit just centimeters away from her jugular. Ms. Kamiya was not happy one bit, and although she was as quiet as a corpse, her demeanor said 'I am going to kill this homewrecker now.'

I was willing to oblige Nishioka's request to get Tenjouin out of the way, but I was not okay with killing her if it was within my control. It was not, since my proficiency with my awakened skills was comparable to a newborn child playing with his favorite toy, so I wanted to fight her as little as possible. I didn't want to kill the Zen End girls either. I only wanted to make sure they wouldn't hurt random people. Resisting Tenjouin further using force was off the table because I didn't know who would end up critically injured or dead. That went for not just me, but Ms. Kamiya as well. I was not alright with Tenjouin's death by either of our hands. Calming Ms. Kamiya down was a new problem in itself, but after gazing upon her pissed-off-beyond-reason expression, I found the right response for Tenjouin. It should've been the first thing I thought of.

"I'm in love with someone else."

Ms. Kamiya must not have been expecting me to say that, because her eyes displayed surprise, and she pulled back her claws. The lovey-dovey talk was not something I was fond of, but I was proud to say it in this context because I actually meant it. I do love Ms. Kamiya.

Tenjouin coldly and blankly stared at me for a few moments, then she muttered "That's okay. I'll make you forget about her in no time. And if she loves you too, I'll just take you away from her."

"Is there really no way out of this?"

"No, but perhaps I can propose something that can entice you. If you agree to marry me, I will withdraw the 'rats' in this school that the old hag always complains about. We also don't have to rush the marriage. Just the promise will be sufficient for now."

Wow. Only a ruthless dictator like Tenjouin could go about a marriage proposal like she's a corporate necktie negotiating terms with a client.

Up until then, I had never made a promise I had no intention of fulfilling, but it looked like that's what I needed to clean this mess up. I was willing to comply with this marriage arrangement, but how would I get Ms. Kamiya to be okay with this? I'd figure that out later. I needed to quickly get Tenjouin out of the area before my bride-to-be was killed.

"Uphold your end and I'll get engaged to you."

"But will you marry me?" Tenjouin suspiciously asked.

"Say yes! If it'll take care of my problem, then you should do it!" Nishioka selfishly and rudely interrupted over the intercom.

"...That is part of engagement, is it not?" I said to Tenjouin.

"True enough."

"Have we reached an agreement then?"

"It seems we have. Please take care of me... darling." Tenjouin said shyly. How unbefitting of her usual self. I would be lying if I said I didn't think it was adorable, though.

But it was time to calm the kaiju.

"Alright, with all that said, please leave the area."

"Why should I?"

"I'm detecting an unknown threat."

"Shouldn't you be concerned too?"

"Probably, but I'll be fine. You should go, not that I don't think you can hold your own. I know you can, but I don't want to lose my future wife."

"O-okay, be safe." she said nervously.

Another point for the lovey-dovey romantic bullshit.

It was difficult for me to get Ms. Kamiya to not swing at Tenjouin as she exited the hallway, but I managed. I prevented a death, but my own was at risk once again. I still had to get her to see eye to eye with me about the engagement. Akua had made fun of me earlier, but the true smooth-talking test was now.

"That was necessary, Ms. Kamiya. Tenjouin would've kept fighting me, and the problem would never get resolved. It's also possible that she would've died."

In a voice I can only describe as scary, Ms. Kamiya said "But Takuya, why was it necessary? Why did you agree to marry that homewrecker? Everything would be okay if she died."

"I didn't agree to marry her. I agreed to get engaged to her."

"But you said that marriage is part of engagement, didn't you? So I have to kill her before she takes you from me."

"I was never going to let things actually get as far as marriage. I only agreed to the engagement so she would back off. I don't have any feelings for her. None at all. I only love you, Ms. Kamiya."

"I still need to kill her just to be safe. You need to be only mine." She said eerily. Afraid that violence was on the horizon for Tenjouin and possibly me, I utilized the tactic that had proved effective thus far.

"I am yours. Yours, and only yours forever, Yuriko."

The lovey-dovey bullshit was on a roll. It helped me out a lot, but it wasn't something I wanted to keep in my arsenal for future situations, because I'd just be an asshole if I flirted with or led on every girl I meet in the future. I wasn't cool with that. Ms. Kamiya is the only woman I loved. Plus, as an engaged man, I can't imagine Tenjouin would be too happy if I flirted around either.

Ms. Kamiya returned from kaiju form to her normal appearance.

"And I am yours, and only yours forever, Takuya." She said with a still slightly unnerving smile.

"...But if Tenjouin tries something funny, I'll need to decapitate her." Ms. Kamiya blurted while pulling out a steel cleaver with small holes punched along the dull edge. What were they for? To make swings more Aerodynamic? I'd never heard of such a thing, but it seems there are kitchen utensils designed for attacking people. I pushed her arm that was holding the cleaver in towards her, using body language to tell her to put that thing away. It seemed she was a threat even in human form. It was scary, but it was also the protective kind of love that I like.

"It seems that you got Atsuko to call back some of the worms under her command. That was a little easier than I thought it would be, but good job still." Nishioka had once again made use of the obnoxiously loud speaker system to communicate, which I didn't particularly want to hear, regardless of who was speaking over it.

『You can only call it easy because you just sat and watched. That was super stressful for me, do you know that?』 I thought.

"Anyway, you did good work." She said, then changed her voice to be noticeably more sensual.

"Come up to my office. I need to give you your reward."