Purpose

Mr. Gab writhed around on the fleshy ground in the middle of the barber’s hovel. The gruff, old surgeon cleared his throat, “Hold him down!” He wasn’t exactly a royal doctor, but instead, a half-mad, drunken barber who also happened to know how to cut a limb off. Once, he insisted that he’d also been a butcher back in his hometown. I wondered why someone would have so many different jobs, or why a butcher would be so good at cutting off parts of people.

The barber once stole a collection of wine bottles the dragon had swallowed for me. I stormed over to his hovel, and he lumbered across the room, feet almost slipping against the wet parts of the ground. Some of the barber’s hovel had bits of a stone floor, but most of it had fallen apart when the dragon swallowed it. The ground, thus, was mostly the same as the rest of the dragon’s stomach. He approached me quickly back then, one of the empty bottles dangling from his fingertips, “Well, whyysh dont’scha take a sheat?” A burped loudly, “Theresh plentysh more to go around!” He challenged me to a drinking contest, and I was stumbling about so wildly halfway through that Bubbles herself demanded I not have any more wine that night. I fell asleep halfway into whatever speech she was shaking the ground with.

“I won’t wake up after a millennium of hibernation only to have my breakfast drink herself to death!” She’d started. I don’t really remember the rest. She always made a point of me taking care of myself. It was strange, since my well-being wouldn’t exactly matter in a few months. In fact, it was the exact opposite of her ultimate intention. But, she understood as I did, that I deserved any luxuries that could be afforded to me. I glanced at the stump where Mr. Gab’s arm had been. Health, here, was a privilege.

The barber performed his operation with bloodstained tools. He’d tossed the amputated flesh, half-melted and beyond saving, directly onto the floor. “Ugh, Princess,” he spat on the ground beside the refuse. “Mind, taking this and tossing it in the river?”

I gagged, “N-no, I won’t.”

“Come on,” he picked his nose before lazily stitching up the wound, “it’s just a bit of arm.”

I grimaced and plugged my nostrils with one hand as I slowly reached down toward it with the other, but I stumbled as the ground shook beneath me. I fell to my knees as Bubbles’ voice wisped throughout the entire world, “You will not have the princess touch that… thing with her bare hands!” She harrumphed, “Are you lot barbarians?”

“Th-thank you,” I huffed, “heavens, I was about to say the same thing! Barber, take it yourself, or better, have Mr. Gab take it.”

“My name’s Mr. Sky.” He turned to Mr. Gab, “This one’s only in condition to rest.” “Right,” I nodded, “Well, Mr. Sky, you should take it then. I could get some terrible infection if I touched something like that!”

“Good,” he spat on it, “I’ll take it then. Gods hope I get a bad infection, a quick one.” I pursed my lips. Surely, he knew infections weren’t a good thing at all. I thought it would be rude to correct someone if they were joking. Mr. Gab moaned as Mr. Sky tried to sew the wound shut. “Oh, shut it, you!” Mr. Sky continued the surgery, “Either you die or you die later. Hope you get lucky and one hurts less than the other.”

“Why did he try to swim in the river?” I asked.

“Swim? You really think he’s that daft? A dumb fool, sure, but not that dumb. Someone pushed the poor bloke and you know damn well he deserved it.” Mr. Sky grabbed another tool, “This is going to hurt. If you scream, I’ll put your teeth out.”

I stepped further away from the bit of arm strewn across the ground, “Well, that? He didn’t deserve to lose his arm.”

“He’s a water thief,” the barber slurped on his own spit, “he’s always doing it. Someone decided to go about punishing him. Think he’ll try stealing water with only one arm?”

“How will he get his own water?” I shook my head, “His life will be miserable like this.”

“Hah!” Mr. Sky raised an eyebrow, “I guess you’re not wrong about that. Misery, sweet misery.”

I turned to leave, “If you find out who did this, please inform me immediately.”

“What’ll you do, Princess? Hang them?”

“I’m not sure yet,” I sighed. I supposed it depended on who it was. It depended on why they did it and how. I didn’t know if I planned to do so much as admonish them.

Mr. Sky coughed as I left. He swung his bloody tool around in his hand, “There’s nothing to preserve them for. We’re all just dragon chow anyway. You know what’ll become of us.” He joking plugged his nose.

I walked out to the edge of the river. I dangled my legs over the riverbank, my feet hanging just over the acid. I looked up at the sky, “Did you hear anyone say who did it?”

I nearly fell forward as the ground started shaking. I scrambled back to avoid tumbling into the acid. My hands dug into the ground and I exhaled sharply as I backed away from the edge, “There have been rumors around the town, all kinds of gossip. There’s not any real consensus,” Bubbles hummed, “are you sad about what happened to Mr. Gab?”

“A little,” I lay flat on my back, looking away from the riverbank, “he got really hurt.”

“Well, yes, that’s bound to happen,” She pondered, “isn’t it lucky he got saved at all? His whole body would have melted otherwise. It’s too early for that.”

I spread my arms out across the soft, rubbery ground below me, “It’s really lucky. Mr. Sky didn’t seem to care.”

“Mr. Sky doesn’t know how to cherish what he already has,” Bubbles said firmly, “he only sees the worst in things, and so he makes himself very unhappy. Of course, he isn’t entirely wrong about some things.”

“I don’t think he’s right…” I rolled over, digging my elbows and chin into the ground. I kicked my legs up and down, my toes hitting the ground firmly in a rhythm.

“Rolling around on the ground like a kid?” She giggled, “Does my breakfast have to be so fussy?” The river splashed up slightly sending little drops onto the ground near me. They barely missed my legs and lay there on the ground hissing.

“That doesn’t really make sense anymore,” I scratched my head, “it’s not the morning right now, is it?”

“It’s almost midnight, didn’t you realize?” She burped.

I shut my eyes, “It really doesn’t make sense then, Bubbles. Breakfast is only in the morning.”

“I’ll be awake for three hundred years before I hibernate again,” she insisted, “I’ll need three proper meals during that time. It’s like how you humans think of a single day.”

“Oh,” I yawned, “I think I get it now. I didn’t realize how late it is.”

“Go back to the palace before you fall asleep,” she whispered, “sleeping by the river is dangerous.”