Gamer and gamemaster

We arrived at the local Round 9 arcade without much issue. Briana looked like a kid in a candy store with her sparkling eyes and ever widening smile.

"You always get this excited when visiting the arcade?" I asked.

"It's my first time coming here with a friend."

"When did we become friends?"

"Just now," Briana giggled as she kissed her finger and then proceeded to poke my cheek with said finger.

Somehow I managed to remain conscience after that assault on my face, but I couldn't relax. That flirty assault proved Briana had ulterior motives, most likely to make me faint so she could drag me over to Machi's and brainwash me into her bald cult.

"So how much you win on average here?" Briana asked, changing topics.

"Here and there. The UFO catchers are naturally rigged, you know."

"How badly? It has to be fair and winnable."

She's really dismantling my guard. I've never been asked a question like that, and worse, it's one I really want to answer. Then again, why am I getting so worked up about Briana?

She did make a horrible first impression... Oh that's it, I can't trust her because I'm terrified I'll end up bald, but how exactly could that happen here? This is the arcade, a place to lose yourself to the addiction of failing a crane game. And hey, the world's gonna end, so why even be concerned about money?

"Briana, you feeling depressed that you're out of a job?" I asked.

Briana shot me a confused stare. "Yes?"

"Well you hear the world's gonna end in 10 months? So don't worry about it. We should just live life without giving a fuck. Deadlines, money, none of it will matter in 10 months anyway! So let's just have some fun wasting money!"

I feel like I'm spouting horrible life advice, but honestly, it's what I feel in the moment.

"What exactly are you saying? What does this have to do with crane games?" Briana asked.

I smirked and waved my finger as I headed towards the game card counter. "What I'm saying is the shit's so rigged, we're about to deplete our bank accounts, life savings, and pockets, all in the name of mindless fun. If you're gonna die anyway, why bother worrying about that stuff? Max credits I can buy in a purchase!"

As soon as the clerk loaded up my game card, I took Briana to a large claw machine. The goal was simply to drop a large plush into the prize chute, but of course, it was by no means an easy feat.

"Now let me show you how this works. First, swipe the card, then position the claw, and press the button."

This was the easy part, but even though I grabbed the plush perfectly, I knew how this worked.

"Now watch. See, it grabs it perfectly, but when it pulls it up, it stops for a bit, and in that moment, the plush begins to slip out. And then it's... right back to the start..."

I couldn't believe what had just happened. The claw had done it's thing, and the plush began to slip out, but it slipped out at just the right point to hit the edge of the prize chute and fall down into it.

"Wow, you're amazing!" Briana clapped as she retrieved the plush.

"Uh... yeah..."

I never win this shit! Guess I shouldn't complain. Win's a win. We'll go onto the harder stuff...

A few feet over stood another UFO catcher, but this time, instead of dragging a prize to the chute, you needed to instead manage to stick a plastic cylinder attached to the crane head into a small circular hole in a piece of plastic. Do that, and you'd win one of the figurines inside.

"Now this one is just plain nasty. It's like one of those assholes that won't tolerate anything short of complete perfection. You don't align everything perfectly, you fail. Why not give it a try, yourself?" I smirked as I swiped my card.

"Eh, me!? OK," Briana nervously nodded as she took center stage. "You move it with these buttons, right? Over then up, right?"

"Simple, but hard. Remember, this shit's the stingiest perfectionist out there, so anything short of perfection..."

She won first try.

"I... I did it! So, how do I get the prize?"

"Uh, you wait here while I fetch a staffer to unlock the case."

...

Seriously, what's going on? We've been winning first try on EVERYTHING! That's just not right! Some of this shit requires you to actually do multiple attempts, yet somehow, we're winning first try there too!

"Momo, you really sell things short. This was easy, and you only ended up making one payment too. There's even still credits left, yes?" Briana giggled.

Bullshit's afoot! There's no way shit like this happens naturally! Even if it is to my benefit, I just can't except this! 

"You're really set on robbing us of everything we've got. If I didn't know better, I'd accuse you of rigging things on the clock," a portly man laughed.

"Um, Momo, who is this guy?" Briana asked.

"The boss." 

"The boss?"

"Of this arcade. This i where I work..."

"YOU WORK HERE AT THE ARCADE!?" 

"Yes, of course I do."

In fact, I'm one of the reasons our Round 9 in particular has one of the lowest amount of prize winners out of them all. Everyday I test things out to make sure everything's as rigged as possible. I'll spray a dab of grease on the claw tips, program the crane to jolt back a bit before being lowered, everything you can think of.

Then why do I complain about not winning anything? Jekyll-Hyde complex, that's why. When off the clock, I'm a gamer, and gamers want to win, but on the clock, I'm the gamemaster, and gamemasters love to see gamers lose. But none of this makes sense, we just won every single crane game here first try, which even the best crane game players can't do. That can only mean...

"You rig shit for us, boss?"

The boss smiled and shook his head. "I didn't rig anything. If things were rigged in your favor, it was by no means through me, or you, as I know everything was working proper after you clocked out of your shift two days ago. Or perhaps, there could be some divine intervention, or just some fellow employees seeking to give you reason to continue living instead of just throwing yourself away."

"I'm not suicidal, you idiot."

"This will sound taboo, but you shouldn't just throw money away here just to throw it away. Sometimes it also take a win to get someone to want to press continue instead of ending the game. Oh, perhaps this isn't a taboo statement after all for someone in my position." 

Nope, you just dug your own hole deeper.

But before I could try to converse with him further, he waddled away.

"Wow, your boss is cool. We should definitely hang out here again some time," Briana smiled.

"'Again'?"

"This was the most fun I ever had in my life. And we're friends, right?"

Fine, I'll lower my guard.

"Yeah sure, just never even think of shaving me bald again."

"Uh, what do you mean? Oh, the job... Sorry, I know I was crazy then, but I'm not actually a bald fetish maniac like you might think." 

"Well, so far you're being convincing. Alright, you're cool. I work tomorrow, so how about the day after?"

"DEAL!"

"Oh, and this place is always hiring... They even provide a hat as part of the uniform too..."

"Worried about me? Relax, after what happened today, I'm convinced my head's radiating with luck, so don't worry about me being bald."

"That so? Then keep it smooth for the rest of your days."

"And you called me a bald fetishist." 

"More like a luck fetishist."

And after that, we burst into laughter.

"So um, your tongue OK?"

Briana blinked for a bit before realizing what I was talking about. "Oh, no worries, that was 2 months ago and it wasn't much anyway. Just a painful poke and that was it. Thanks for actually apologizing, even though I was the dumbass that went through with it."

"Briana, you really are a cool girl."

And with that, we became friends for real.

...

The next day, I arrived at work, seeking to find some answers on what the boss had said.

"Hey boss, about what you said the other day-"

"Momo... I'm not the boss anymore," the boss dejectedly trembled.

"Huh?"

"We just got bought out by new management. And well, I'm no longer the boss."

"Then who is?"

"That would be me," a somewhat familiar voice chuckled.

Directing my eyes to the source of said voice, I recoiled in shock. The sleezy politician guy was here!

"Allow me to introduce myself, I'm Silas DeSade, your new ruler."