Smiling Faces, Hidden Chords

I locked eyes with Aiko. Her blue eyes had darkened, and she stood before me with an unsettling aura.

"Of course," I said. Deep down, I had always known that this conversation would be necessary someday, but I never expected it to happen now.

“There’s been something off between us lately. You’ve noticed, haven’t you?”

She had jumped straight to the point!

“Yes, I have,” I replied. If she was going to get serious, then so would I.

Aiko was a beautiful girl with an energetic personality. She was a year older than me, but she usually acted far from mature. I had only known her for a few months. She had joined the club before I did, but after my arrival, she improved greatly through the feedback I gave her and her own hard work.

Sometimes, after rehearsals, we would stay behind and practice her diction and intonation. And I believed that was why she had become so close to professional-level. Her voice was genuinely good—she had potential.

With Lyra’s arrival, she had the chance to learn new techniques and expand her skills even further. Aiko had always loved singing. She constantly sent me songs via text, followed by recordings of herself trying to sing them. Honestly, I had been content with the relationship we had back then.

“We’ve spent so much time together. I deeply regret the things I said when I was drunk last month. Even though I pretended I didn’t remember what I did to you and everyone else… I was fully aware. I’m sorry for lying.”

Aiko lowered her head slightly. I knew that wasn’t all she had to say. I wanted to be surprised, but considering the way she had been acting since that incident, it would have been strange if she had truly forgotten.

I had known it all along. The fact that she had kept this from me for so long, acting as if nothing had happened, had led me to theorize the reason behind her behavior.

But there was something I had overlooked—something I was only realizing at this very moment.

Aiko and I had spent a lot of time together. And while I may not have been aware of it, she certainly was.

Now, I had to lay all my cards on the table. I didn’t want to hide behind closed doors anymore.

“I know. And… I also didn’t consider that bringing Lyra might upset you. I only wanted to help you both improve in singing. But in the process, I hurt your confidence. I’m sorry.”

The warmth we once had between us was gone. We were speaking as if we were strangers—formally, distantly.

And if there was one thing I knew about Aiko…

It was that she was the type to play all her cards aggressively.

“To be honest, I was shocked when you mentioned Lyra. I could even say… I was jealous.” Aiko took a deep breath before continuing. “Why her? Why was she treated like some doctor here to cure an illness? Before I could even process it, I was just… furious.”

She exhaled heavily, then hesitated for a moment. “…But when I saw Lyra’s talent, I was in awe. She managed to bring all of us into perfect harmony in such a short time. And that… that…” Aiko swallowed hard. I could see it on her face—she was both hurt and frustrated. “...that only made me even more jealous.”

Without realizing it, I had hurt a friend’s feelings. And the thought of it pained me more than I wanted to admit.

But from the way Aiko looked—so helpless, so drowned in emotions I couldn’t quite define—I understood something else.

This wasn’t just about that.

“All this time, we spent so many days together. How many times did we stay behind, practicing until the evening? We shared the responsibilities of the club. And yet, all of a sudden, this girl, who you had just met, who you knew nothing about, was suddenly so close to you? It… it just didn’t feel right.”

Aiko swallowed again. Her eyes were filled with tears. She sniffled.

I was making a girl cry.

But the most important thing I realized… was hidden in her reaction.

And that mystery wouldn’t last much longer.

“I liked you, Yuta.”

Aiko had started sobbing, trying to hold back her cries but choking on them instead.

Inside me, it felt like a storm had erupted.

It was a confession of love—yet not quite. It was more of a reproach. A love confession filled with resentment.

It was the cry of a girl who had lost in love.

“I felt comfortable with you. I liked spending time with you. I liked being around you. I liked you… because you were you.”

I couldn’t say anything. My entire body was buzzing with nervous energy.

And the first thought that came to my mind was:

Me? Why me? Out of all the people out there, why me? What do I even have to offer? Who am I to deserve this?

I had only ever rejected one girl in my life.

Back in my last year of middle school, there was a girl who sat in front of me after our class arrangements changed. She was somewhat popular—not exactly gorgeous, but easy to talk to.

When she confessed, her best friend was standing right beside her. She had probably been hyped up by her. It was the last day before summer break.

“So? What do you think, Yuta?” her friend had asked.

At the time, I had never been in that situation before. I was flustered, nervous.

But most importantly…

I had been in love with someone else.

With all my inexperience, the only thing I managed to say was:

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

Then I walked away.

When school started again, she had switched seats.

And she never looked me in the eye again.

And because of that, I had crushed someone’s courage. I had shattered someone’s feelings.

Even now, I could still remember the expression on her face after I said those words.

Now, I deeply regretted my actions.

In my entire life, I had only ever fallen in love once—back in middle school.

During high school, I had talked to many girls. But to them, I had always been just a friend. And honestly, I had never approached any of them romantically either.

And I didn’t want to do the same to Aiko.

I didn’t want to break her courage, to crush her feelings. But I knew that after this, we wouldn’t be able to remain friends. Because every time she saw me, she would be reminded of this pain.

Harsh truths were the worst. And for someone like me, who got along with everyone but overthought everything, the idea of a ruined friendship would haunt me for months.

I couldn’t act like nothing had happened. Not anymore.

We weren’t kids anymore—I couldn’t do that.

But at the same time… I couldn’t return Aiko’s feelings.

Yes, she was beautiful.

Yes, she was full of energy and radiated joy.

But she wasn’t someone I could be happy with.

Because we weren’t compatible. Our personalities didn’t align at all.

Maybe I was being prejudiced. Maybe I wasn’t. I didn’t know.

But I knew one thing for sure—I couldn’t date Aiko.

Now that I had seen beneath her mask, I wouldn’t be able to treat her the same way.

And if she saw beneath mine, she would probably feel the same way too…

My hands were shaking.

I was never good at speeches.

And I couldn’t just reject her outright.

Making up an excuse would only make me look worse.

I had to play my cards right.

Taking a deep breath, I looked straight into her eyes and spoke.

“I don’t have feelings for Lyra. Maybe I seemed like I did, maybe I didn’t—I don’t know. But for me, returning someone’s feelings is something…” I swallowed hard. My mind was a mess. Aiko was staring at me, waiting.

I had once been in Aiko’s position, too.

Back when I confessed to the girl I liked…

She had simply told me, ‘I don’t have feelings for you.’

That was it.

That was how it went.

And I didn’t want to do the same to her.

I had to keep talking.

“…difficult. I would have liked to be in a relationship with you… We could have talked about music every day, spent time together on campus. Maybe we could have been happy.”

But I couldn’t just say what was expected. I had to be honest.

“But I could never see myself fitting beside you. Not because of self-doubt, or because I think you’re out of my league. I just… couldn’t.

Maybe I’m afraid. Maybe I just never saw you that way.

Even when we spent time together, I never once felt that way about you.

And that’s not your fault.

I just enjoyed being with you—and with everyone—so much that I never once stopped to consider anything beyond that.”

I could feel my eyes welling up.

I didn’t know how much my words would hurt her.

I felt like scum.

“Thank you for liking me, Aiko.”

I took a shaky breath.

“I know I don’t deserve it. And I know you don’t deserve a response like this.

I’m sorry.

You probably think I’m a hypocrite. A coward. A jerk. I know things won’t ever be the same.”

I bowed my head.

Even in my selfishness, even in my shamelessness, I had played my last card.

Tears streamed down my face.

I hadn’t even realized it, but I had started crying.

I was crying for her.

“Please…” I choked out, my voice barely above a whisper.

“Let’s not let this change anything. Let’s keep spending time together. Let’s not ruin what we have.”

It was pure selfishness.

I didn’t want things to fall apart.

I had crushed a girl’s courage, shattered her heart—yet here I was, begging her not to leave.

I braced myself.

For a slap.

For anger.

For screaming.

For anything.

But instead…

Aiko suddenly stepped forward.

I hesitated, lifting my head slightly—

And then, she wrapped both arms around my neck.

She was crying.

But…

She was smiling.

Her eyes were red, her nose running, but she couldn’t stop.

She was holding onto me tightly.

“Thank you, Yuta.”

Her voice trembled as she started sobbing uncontrollably.

“Please… at the very least, let’s not lose what we have. I don’t want to lose you too.”

And just like that—hearing her cry, feeling her tremble—

I broke down too.

Her unsteady breaths echoed in my ears.

But somehow…

Despite everything…

I had done it.

Against all odds—

I had rejected her without breaking her heart.