No Guarantees

I wrenched my arm out of the old woman’s grip as soon as I could manage. She gaped at me, teeth reflecting green in the otherworldly light beyond, as I stepped into the bush again and fumbled to open the window. There- the latch was a little loose.

“You are violating my privacy! This is not for you!”

I held up a hand. “This is paladin business.”

She didn’t seem to care, pushing even closer to me as I finally yanked the window open. “I will be reporting you to the authorities!”

She stopped, breathing heavily, as I yanked the curtain open. Many parts of the design I was still familiar with from our adventures in the temple. The intricate designs in blood, the bright green light. Katla kneeling outside of the circle with her brow furrowed in concentration.

Inside of the circle, however, there was…

A goat?

The old woman shoved me aside to get a better look. “What are you doing, girl? I told you I just needed his ghost.”

I saw Katla’s hand tighten into a fist on the wooden floor. “As I told you, Madame, necromancy doesn’t work that way! I can see the ghosts, but you likely can’t, unless a god or spirit likes you very much.” She gestured to the goat, which had taken a seat and was now staring at us through the window. “This is what I can do,” Katla said. “If you are displeased, I will banish him. But I still want my money.”

The green light had died down. I had managed to elbow my way back into the window, but Katla had clearly decided I was unimportant here.

“She’s just complaining,” said the goat. “Don’t worry about it. Yelped and whined all through our marriage, now she wants to subject everyone else to it, too.”

The woman next to me fainted. As I saw her knees crumple, I lunged forward to catch her, but it was too late. As we both toppled into the snow, I wheezed, feeling snow soak through the blanket.

Katla leaned out of the window, staring down at me. “Oh. I thought you were asleep.” It was difficult to read her tone. Was she disappointed?

I stuck a hand out from underneath the woman’s body and tried to shove her off enough to stand. She was too heavy for me to properly move myself. “I thought you were redeemed.”

“Don’t banish the goat,” she said. “Not until I get paid.”

“My husband,” muttered the old woman, finally stirring. She pushed herself up, using my gut as a basis. I tried not to wheeze too loudly in pain. “Tell me it isn’t true.”

A few moments later, bundled up and in the main room, we all stared at the goat.

“You said I should do whatever was needed,” said Katla. “I needed to put him into a goat. Unless you don’t want to speak to him at all?”

“Surely you should have known I didn’t want a goat! I wanted to speak to my husband. I miss him. That-” The woman pointed a shaking finger. “That is ungodly. I could not possibly share my home with such a creature.”

“I see what it is,” said the goat. “Never found out where I hid it, did you?”

“Don’t speak about these things in public!”

“As if I would tell you now,” said the goat. “Time didn’t help you much, did you? You’re rotten, not pickled. I would have taken in you as a goat! Even made sure your food was nice and warm!”

“There’s still the matter of my payment,” said Katla.

“I’m not paying you for a bad job,” said the woman.

“Do you want me to banish him?” I said.

“And you- you can’t kill him!”

She stared at me as if I’d suggested something horrible. I spread my hands out in defeat. “I thought you didn’t want the goat.”

“He’s still my husband! Ever since he was lost at sea, I’ve missed him, every night wondering-”

“-where I buried the money,” he finished for her, bleating. I watched his little tail wave helplessly. I was never going to think of goat the same way after this. “You’re dreaming if you think I’ll tell you now!”

The arguing was already getting to me. I ushered Katla to the doorway, slightly out of reach. As soon as she got close, I dropped my voice and leaned in. “Surely you can’t keep a ghost indefinitely,” I said. “Why did you even agree to this?”

“The hardest part is them being willing,” she said. “The initial summoning… Think of it like a spark, and the continued life as a fire. The goat itself should be able to fuel him with its life force for a good two months or so. Depending on how willing it is, of course.” She pulled open a pocket. Something peeked out at me. A field mouse? Before I could see more, it ducked back into her pocket. “I did try other animals. The goat was the only one that would take him.” She cleared her throat. “Anyway. I was wondering if you could do me a favor.”

“What?”

“You’ve got a big sword. Could you get me my payment?”

“I’m not going to help you do necromancy for pay!” I folded my arms. “Besides, none of your explanations make sense. If you couldn’t summon ghosts without the blood of gods before, why is it different now?”

“Surely it’s worse to do necromancy for free,” Katla said. “Besides. It wasn’t real necromancy. Only a light summoning! The goat was alive! It’s incredibly different pulling someone from an earned afterlife to fight- actually, never mind. You couldn’t possibly understand all of the levels of difficulty.”

“You can’t just possess goats and ask me to endorse you!”

“Well-“

“Let’s go,” said the goat. We both looked down. He was trotting out between our legs, the woman still inside the house. “I did my time in life. Now is time for new adventures.”

“This is what I get for using my own blood.” Katla grabbed the goat by the back of the collar. He reared up, his bright green eyes lighting up the snow in otherworldly light as he bleated just like a normal goat would. “You’ve had your fun,” Katla told the goat, lowering her hand. “Good-“

I grabbed her wrist.

“What now?”

“It feels wrong to kill him,” I said. “He didn’t even get to tell his wife where the money was buried, did he? Besides, she told me not to remove him.”

“Some time? He’s had an entire conversation to convince me he deserves to live. He’s not special! He was a sailor, and then he drowned. He’s better off in the fields of the afterlife.”

Katla raised her hand again. I glanced over my shoulder, at the old woman. It just felt horrible to kill her husband again in front of her. “Can we at least go further outside and close the door properly?”

I pulled the door open, wincing in another gust of cold wind. Before I could step outside, something brushed past my legs. Katla shouted as I leaned back.

“Get him! He’s running!”

I hitched the blanket up and took off after her. For all of her flaws, Katla was fast. As the goat galloped through town, she was close behind. I tried to follow them around a corner and my foot slipped, sending me down hard on my hip.

Instead of getting up, I stared up at the clouds for a moment. Sunrise was just barely starting.

“I’m too old for this,” I wheezed.

By the time I made it up, there were two pairs of matching tracks in the snow and nothing else to see in the distance. I sighed, pulled the blanket a little tighter, and started walking. I might as well banish him.

The tracks spun around a few buildings, then veered into the main road and down towards the cannery. I took a slow, steady path down. By the time I arrived, there was faint sunlight reflecting off of the snow and lighting up Katla’s scowl.

“You haven’t found him by now?”

She pointed up. “There. He’s hiding in the cannery. Locked the door on me.”

I followed her hand up. The cannery was a short, stout building with a few smokestacks, built of brick they must have taken a very long way. In one of the top windows, I could just barely see a shape moving.

“You couldn’t find another door?”

She jerked her head towards a snowbank. “It has to be dug out.”

We stood there together for a long few moments, staring up at the goat in the window. “Well, I wish you luck,” I said. I turned to leave. “Let me know if you need banishment.”

“Wait.” Her hand shot out and grabbed my elbow. “I think if you lift me up onto the lower awning there…”

I stared at Katla for a moment. Why was I still involved with this nonsense? She widened her eyes a little.

“Do you really want a ghost running amok?”

I didn’t know how I felt about ghosts running amok, but it was convincing enough for now. I managed to make my way over to the awning and hoist her up, watching Katla scramble over the awning and towards the window.

As she climbed, I put my hand on my sword and turned to find the other door. It wouldn’t do to have to run again. By the time I’d made it to the main door, I could hear Katla yelling in annoyance.

I leaned against the wall and waited, staring up into the sky. The clouds had dispersed a little. I could see a large bird in the distance- some sort of hawk or eagle. It was on its third loop around the sky when I heard the knob turning.

When the door finally came open, I was facing the doorway with the sword out. It gleamed in the low afternoon light. I heard my belly growl as I lowered the Abyssal Blade towards the goat.

“Well,” I said. “Fancy meeting you here.”

“Mercy!” he said. “I beg mercy!”

“You’re already dead. What’s banishment going to do, anyway?”

He eyed the sword like he wasn’t convinced of it. “What if I could make a deal with you? I still have many skills. Many, many skills. Incredible skills.”

I could hear footsteps on the stairs behind him. Katla, creeping up for the final blow. I saw her knives gleaming in the dark.

When I didn’t respond at first, he continued. It was difficult to understand the half-bleating, half speech. “Sailing! I’m an expert sailor. If you need to go anywhere, I can be your captain.”

“Didn’t you die on the sea?”

“It would be an advisory role!”

If I had been more interested in banishing him, the plea wouldn’t have helped. I didn’t think he would be much help as a sailor. But…I had been told not to banish him. I stood up and sheathed the sword. “You can plead your case to the Beetles.”

I would let Unnr make the final decision. Surely she had a better captain in mind.