Dinner and a Gun Show

All three of us were hiding in my bedroom, occasionally peeking outside of my window to see the police and FBI inspecting the area.

“I think we're safe here,” I said. “It’s not like they know we were involved, right?”

One of the FBI agents was talking to an old lady from downstairs. She pointed right up to my window, and I’m pretty sure one of the FBI agents saw us peeking down before I closed the blinds.

“Shall I deal with this FB of Eyes?” Cal punched his palm, creating a thunderous rocking that shook the entire structure of the apartment complex.

All the shaking caused a commotion outside. I peeked out the window to see everyone and the authorities scattering away in fear.

“Thanks, Cal!” I cheered, patting him on the shoulder, massaging his arm. I only stopped because June removed my hand from him. “You’re so great.”

“It was nothing, fair princess.”

“Auri, before we start swooning over our made up fantasy crush again, can we first get an explanation of why he’s here?”

I agreed that it was about time we got an explanation for that. My excitement for finally seeing my hero in the flesh had to wait until we got a reason for him being here at all.

“Why do we not converse over a warm meal?” Cal requested. “I can't remember the last time I ate, and my stomach growls like the great wolves of Canem.” He rubbed his belly and turned to June. “Handmaid of the princess, would you prepare us a feast?”

“Oh, no way!” June stomped her foot and pouted. “You did not just call me a handmaid!”

I burst into laughter, almost falling over. “June’s my handmaid! Ha ha!”

June was fuming so bad I swear I could see steam coming out of her ears. My comment only made her more livid, so I almost regretted the teasing.

Cal seemed to pick up on his mistake and bowed down low to June, holding a hand over his heart.

“Forgive me, friend of my fair princess,” He said. “I meant no offence by such a title. Handmaids in my land were of very proud stature, whose work was second to none in the whole kingdom. They all made excellent friends with princess Aurilia.”

He had such a charming vibe, and a suave voice that really sounded sincere. June's anger de-escalated quickly.

“W-well…” she brushed a strand of dark hair out of her face and turned toward me, “I guess I wouldn’t mind making something, but Auri has to help, since it's her kitchen.”

That was good with me! June was always a great cooking buddy.

“I look forward to whatever wonderful meal you both shall create,” Cal commented. “I'm sure my tongue will dance to the delicious flavor.”

“You know, for a barbarian, you sure are charming,” June said.

*Grrrrgg!*

A loud noise came from my stomach, causing June to snicker.

“I guess you’re hungry too…” she rolled her eyes. “Why don’t we get the food started?”

June and I both got to work cooking up whatever limited amount of food was left in my pantry and fridge. It was mostly packages of lunchmeat, beans, vegetables, and a few different sauces that she tossed into a cooking pot and let simmer. It looked like a cauldron with some mysterious bubbling liquid stewing inside of it.

“Is this going to be safe to eat?” I asked.

“Auri, how many times in college did I whip something up with those leftovers you left in the fridge for days?”

I had to give her credit, she knew how to make stale food taste a lot better. It was like a super power of hers.

While we were cooking, Cal went and took a shower, since he smelled like ozone and BO. Luckily in his world, arcaic showers existed, so I didn’t need to teach him how to clean himself.

The TV was on behind us, and the news anchor started talking about the fight outside. According to him, nobody was able to get any video footage because of an EMP that fried phones and cameras.

“Huh?” I whipped out my phone, noticing it wasn’t turning on. “Son of a gun…”

June did the same and smacked her legs in frustration when her’s wasn’t turning on either.

“Your fantasy boyfriend must have been a little too careless with his lightning magic.”

“B-b-b-boyfriend?!” I shook at that thought, nearly melting where I stood. With a slap of my cheeks, I came back into the moment. “It’s not like he ever had to keep track of electronics before, so an accident like this was bound to happen.”

“Eh, I needed an upgrade anyways,” I shrugged.

“And who’s going to take you to the Horizon store to get an upgrade?” June’s brow raised.

“You, because I don’t have a…”

“You don’t have a what, Auri? What don’t you have?!”

I was going to say I didn’t have a car, but June didn’t have a car right now either, since it got eaten.

The bathroom door opened up and we heard Cal’s footsteps approaching.

“Fair princess, thank you for this…towel… But…”

When he stopped at the kitchen, he was wearing a pink robe with hearts and a duck on the chest. The robe was like three sizes too small for him, so his chest muscles were bulging out, and the bottom of it looked like a short skirt. he kinda looked like those handsome advertisers for that New Splice shampoo. I was getting a bit of a nosebleed!

Man...he's so hot! SWOON LEVELS RISING!

“We need to buy him some new clothes, big guy.” June laughed, dabbing my nose with a paper towel. “I guess, I have to take him there too, don’t I?” June sighed. “I better start car shopping… Auri, when you're a rich and famous author, you better buy me a new car.”

“You bet!” I nodded, not paying attention. "Wait, what?"

*DING*

That was the alarm that the food was done. We set the table with bowls for the stew and started pouring things out. Cal refused a bowl and instead grabbed the entire pot of whatever was left over.

I can’t understate how ravenous his hunger was. He was like a pig dipping his face into the trough. After he was done, he was going to need a second shower!

The moment I took my first sip, he was already done too.

“Aha!” he cooed out, then burped. “What a delicious meal! My compliments to you, Friend June. Is there anymore?”

“You know, I said you were pretty charming before…” June looked disgusted. “But now I’m seeing the barbarian all over your face.”

His face was covered in stew. He probably had a whole second helping there if he wanted. To help him out, I dabbed his face with a napkin and cleaned him up. He didn’t fidget or anything, which gave me the impression that someone did this often for him.

Wait, of course someone did! I remembered writing that the princess used to dine with him every night and she would try to teach him table manners. But even then he really sucked at it. His love for food just overwhelmed him.

“My apologies, princess Aurilia.” he blushed and stiffened up with nervousness.

“No, it’s okay…” I smiled, also nervously blushing. “I’ll just have to write you a character arc where you actually learn to eat a bit more civilly.”

I had a sudden epiphany just then, like I was really inspired to start writing something. Normally it took sitting down and forcing myself to type something up, but this time I was really eager to get in my chair and get to work.

“So, Cal,” June spoke up. “Why don’t you tell us how you got into the real world.”

“A terrible fate befell my princess when an immortal being of winter invaded.” The hand over his heart crushed into a fist. “Her life was stolen, and I seek to steal the immortal's life in return.” His gaze trailed off with conflict. “If only I could remember more about who it was…”

“An immortal being…?” I looked at June, “...of winter?” My brow raised.

“Why are you looking at me like I would know?” June shook her head. “If I had to guess, you believe Auri is your princess come back to life.”

“It is not just a belief.” Cal stood and took my hands, holding them gently in his own as he gazed down into my eyes. “There is not a shred of doubt in me that she is my princess reincarnated. The gods have given her a second chance in this odd new world.”

I’d always wanted a man calling me a princess like this while I stared into his dreamy eyes. My heartbeat raced so fast that I couldn’t keep my breath from being stolen. The longer I looked at him, the more I worried that this was all going to end with an alarm clock, and then it would just be forgotten in the haze of a mediocre day.

“So you were looking for Auri… Your princess, I mean. How did you get here from your own world?”

“I do not remember,” he shook his head. “There are many things about my past that I can’t seem to recall, including the name and face of my true enemy.”

That made two of us. I wrote a lot of his story a long time ago, some of it actually even inspired off of silly things me and grandma came up with when I was a kid. As much as I wanted to remember it all, most of it was buried deep under the passing of time.

“Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to read through that notebook, wouldn’t you say?” June pointed a sly finger toward the book on the desk. “I bet there’s some answers in there.”

I’d already skimmed over it and couldn’t find anything about Cal coming into the real world. But it was a big notebook, so there was a lot of things I could have missed.

“If I may request another look at this book,” Cal spoke up. “I have a feeling there will be more monsters from my world who appear in your own, and it may be wise to see their weaknesses again.”

“Do you really think that more will come here?” June asked.

Cal nodded. “I have no doubts. If there was already one, then more will soon show themselves. I want to be prepared for them.”

I had a bad feeling Cal was right, but that bad feeling eased a little when I realized that he had the power to take on any challenge. He was the greatest warrior from his world, after all. I wrote him to be that!

June smirked and opened up the notebook. “Look at it like this, Auri. This is the perfect excuse to translate your work into a computer document and get it published.”

She had a point. I wasn’t sure how I felt about others reading Cal’s story as is, but since June was going to be a beta reader for me, I would have hoped that we’d be able to iron it out enough to consider getting it published. Re-learning about his world was a great benefit too.