A Joy That Had Been Too Far

There was no particular excitement about going to school, obviously. The only real temptation was her friends. She wanted to meet them- all of them- for one last time.

With an exasperated sigh, Izumi put on her uniform. Usually, she would tie her hair up, however today she wanted to try something different. There was a ponytail hairstyle she had wanted to try for so long.

Without thinking of any excuse, she picked up the brush and attempted the hairstyle. It took three failures before she finally got it right. The result was…… splendid.

It was super cute.

For some reason, the things that she always desired to do but kept making excuses for— suddenly, she had this strange urge to dot hem all.

As though a switch had been flipped inside her.

Now there were no doubts, no excuses, not a thing whisper about ‘I don’t have time to do it today or maybe let’s do it tomorrow-’

Oh.

Could it be……….

…..because there is no tomorrow anymore?

Today is all she had?

Her heart clenched. A suffocating weight settled in her chest, pressing down until she dropped to her knees, gripping her uniform near her chest.

The idea that she wouldn’t be here anymore was- was just- horrible.

What about her mother, her father and her little baby brother?

Who could take care of them all?

A wave of hysteria surged through her, and before she could stop herself, she burst into tears, sobbing uncontrollably on the floor.

A knock at the door.

‘Izumi!’ Ryusuke called from outside. ‘Let’s go together if you are ready!’

Her whole body trembled. She took deep breaths to quiet herself. Slowly wiping her tears, she stood up. With a tear-stained face as she saw her reflection in the mirror, she attempted to smile, stretching her face with her trembling fingers.

Then dropped the struggle. There was no need to act.

She never smiled at home anyway- her frown was a normal sight.

With a final breath to steady herself, she picked up the bag and opened the door.

‘Are you okay?’ Ryusuke said the moment he saw her. ‘Were you crying?’

‘How?’ Izumi murmured.

‘You think I cannot tell if my own sister had been crying?’

‘Ah,’ Izumi nodded. ‘Um, yeah I was.’ Then before Ryusuke could say anything, she added quickly, ‘His words in the morning- they just got to me…’

Ryusuke sighed, raking a hand through his curly hair. ‘Yeah, I get it….’

‘Don’t bother, let’s go or we’ll be late,’ Izumi said. She seized his wrist and hurried out.

‘Bye Mom!’ they both yelled and left the house.

---------------------------

The second-period bell rang.

Sure, if you have only one day to live- go to school. The day would never appear to end.

Izumi yawned widely as the teacher left the class. The moment the door shut, students scattered into their usual groups, the room filling with the chatter of countless conversations.

‘Izu,’ Saori poked her from behind. ‘Can you please help me with this question?’ she clasped her hands together with a pleading look. ‘I can’t understand it at all!’

‘Sure,’ Izumi said, taking the book from her. ‘Oh, this one is given in the examples.’ She rummaged through the bag, pulled out her mathematics book and flipped through the pages until she landed on an integration question that covered almost whole two pages.

‘Here, see this,’ Izumi pointed.

Saori’s face darkened, her eyes widened in horror. ‘This long! It-It’s two pages- two.’

‘It’s easier than it looks, trust me,’ Izumi chuckled. ‘Just go through it—’

‘I HAVE GREAT NEWS!’

Momo’s voice cut through the class as she sprinted toward them, skidding to a halt just before crashing into Izumi’s desk.

‘Momo, how many times have we told you not to run like that? You could have gotten hur—’

‘MATH TEACHER IS ABSENT!’ she shrieked, her eyes glowing with uncontainable joy. ‘NO TEST! NO TEST!’

‘Seriously?’ Hana looked up from her book, her brows raised in disbelief. She had been sitting on their right, reading vehemently as though her life had been depended on it.

Momo nodded furiously.

‘Are you sure?’ another student asked, peeking over.

‘I AM!’ Momo bounced excitedly. ‘The English teacher is taking his period instead!’

The whole class erupted in joy; the air became infectious with their enthusiasm.

With a wide smirk, Saori sneered at the book in her hands, ‘Hmph, I don’t have to look at you,’ she muttered, sticking her tongue out at it before shoving it back into Izumi’s hands. ‘Thanks.’

Izumi laughed. ‘You know the test can be tomorrow, right?’

Saori’s face fell- but then lit up instantly. She grinned, ‘You can help me tomorrow, hehe. But for now, let’s enjoy today while we can!’

Her words cut through Izumi like a sharp knife

‘Tomorrow?’

Izumi hands clenched. The familiarity of her daily life had distracted her—but now reality slammed into her again. She didn’t have a tomorrow.

‘Saori, take this book,’ she said abruptly, thrusting the book in Saori’s hand. ‘Read this if you cannot understand something.’

‘But why? I cannot read all of it alone— you can help me if I cannot figure something out-’

‘No, you have to study on your own too.’

Saori pouted. ‘Ugh, fine. But don’t you need it also?’

‘I already studied,’ Izumi said, waving a hand dismissively.

Saori’s eyes sparkled with admiration. ‘Wow.’

‘And uh, the chapter starts from page 256,’ Izumi continued, forcing her voice to stay steady. ‘The example is on 289- remember that.’

Saori frowned. ‘Why are you saying it like that? I can always ask you if I forget it, right?’

Izumi swallowed hard.

‘O-Of course,’ she stammered. ‘You c-can—’

Her voice broke. She couldn’t say the words.

‘…. Izumi?’ Hana said, her voice gentle.

Izumi didn’t reply. She was lost in her thoughts.

‘Izumi!’

‘Yes!’ Izumi jolted upright.

‘Are you okay?’ Hana asked, frowning. ‘You look……not worried, but really sad. Is everything alright?’

Izumi forced a smile. ‘I am fine. Just thinking about something.’

‘Hey guys,’ Momo had returned, grinning after answering every interrogation from the students who had doubts about her announcement just now. I am tired.’ She slumped onto the chair, then immediately bounced up. ‘Let’s go out! Let’s go somewhere!’

‘Now?’ Hana asked.

‘YES! Let’s go somewhere!’ Saori exclaimed.

‘I don’t think we should go,’ Hana said. ‘We should attend the class-’

‘There is no test today and no point in staying in the class when we can’t get anything through our thick heads,’ Saori said. Momo, her arms crossed, nodded in agreement.

‘If you actually listened instead of sleeping- I think you would understand at least half of what teacher is teaching—’

‘Noooo!’ Momo wailed dramatically.

‘Izumi will agree, right?’ Hana turned to Izumi. ‘I don’t think we should go—’

‘I think we can go,’ Izumi said.

The three of them froze.

Saori’s jaw dropped. Momo gasped. Hana looked personally betrayed.

‘You— you—want to skip?’ Momo cried, grabbing her shoulders. ‘Izumi, who always studies and thinks even sleeping is a waste of time?’

‘And you even agreed without pestering?!’ Saori whispered in horror. ‘Has a spirit possessed you?’

‘Are you feeling okay?’ Hana asked, deeply concerned.

Izumi rolled her eyes. ‘You three are acting like I am some psycho who is always studying,’ she said, pushing Momo’s hands away from her shoulders.

They all nodded in unison.

‘Okay, maybe I am,’ Izumi said, admitting defeat. ‘But I want to go out today. Can I?’

‘Of course you can! You are more than welcome!’ Hana said happily.

‘Yes! Izumi is coming with us today!’ Momo threw her arms around her.

Izumi chuckled. ‘Where would we go?’

‘Let’s go to a mall,’ Momo suggested.

‘I want to go to café,’ Saori put in.

‘What about karaoke?’ Izumi asked.

All three of them turned to stare at her.

‘Karaoke?’ Hana repeated. ‘You want to go to Karaoke?’

Izumi gave an awkward laugh, ‘I never tried it before so was just….’

‘Oh,’ Hana smiled. ‘We can go Karaoke if you like.’

‘Of course—if everyone’s up for it,’ Izumi said hesitantly.

‘After that, we can go to the mall,’ Momo chimed in. "And maybe stop by a café on our way back?"

‘Nice plan!’ Hana exclaimed. "Let’s go, then!"

Without another word, they slipped out of the classroom before the teacher could make an appearance. Izumi had the unsettling feeling that the English teacher had noticed them leaving. She was an arrogant woman—one who seemed to survive not on air but on complaints and the degradation of students.

Outside, the weather was beautiful. The sky stretched in an endless expanse of blue, the sun high above their heads.

This was Izumi’s first-time skipping school. A gripping fear clenched her heart, as though she had committed some unforgivable crime. And yet—beneath the fear—there was something exhilarating about it.

Fear doesn’t matter now. Not at this moment.

Their first stop was karaoke. They sang their hearts out, laughing and ordering snacks, the experience unlike anything Izumi had ever let herself enjoy before. Regret pricked at her—how many times had she turned down invitations, locking herself in her room, drowning in studies?

Next, they wandered through the mall. None of them had planned on buying anything, just browsing, when Izumi’s eyes landed on the cutest T-shirt. Immediately, she thought of her mother. Without a second thought, she rushed to buy it, her heart swelling with joy.

Then, they found a cozy little café tucked inside the mall. Izumi had never tried half the things on the menu, and the sheer variety excited her. They clicked pictures, capturing laughter, teasing smiles, and the warmth of friendship.

Finally, after a long day, she hugged each of them tightly before heading home.

‘This had been the most pleasant day of life,’ she smiled, feeling delightful.

For the first time, she felt truly present—free, alive, connected. More than anything, she realized just how much her friends cared.

She wanted to hold onto this moment, to tell them everything—the emotions swelling in her chest, the gratitude she felt for them.

Yet a thought lingered—

Why had she never done this before?

Spending time with people who life you up are the most pleasurable thing. A greed rose in her- to have more of these moments, for this moment to never end.

And worst of it- regret.

Regret for why she didn’t spend time with people she cared for.

Regret for willingly sacrificing her own joy for things she never cared about.

Regret for being too late.

But why? Why did she always realize these things too late?

Why couldn’t she have seen it before?

On her darkest days, all she yearned for was just joy. And it was just a call away. It was just downstairs, having a meal with her mother.

Talking to her brother.

The joy was always within reach—she had just never reached out for it.