An Understanding World

***

It was cold, and the air was thick with the smell of rain. Val could hear the sounds of thunder in the distance and see flashes of lightning streak through the clouds. She stood alone in a large, empty field. No grass or trees could be seen anywhere, only mud.

She blinked her eyes and looked around, trying to figure out where she was. Everything felt strange. The sky was too dark, too gloomy, too… heavy.

"Hello?" she called out into the void. "Is anyone there?"

There was no answer, only the sound of wind whistling through the air. It made her shiver, and goose bumps ran up and down her arms. She rubbed them absentmindedly as she scanned the area again. But there was nothing but emptiness as far as the eye could see.

"Hello?!" she shouted again, louder this time. Still, nothing.

A sense of foreboding began to creep into her mind. Something was very—very wrong. And yet, she couldn't quite put her finger on what it was.

She took a tentative step forward, and the ground gave way beneath her foot. With a gasp, she jerked backward, staring at the disintegrating muck with wide eyes.

"Hello?" she yelled, her voice shaking. "Someone? Please! Is anyone here?!"

Still no answer.

The wind picked up, whipping at her hair and clothes, and she hugged herself tightly. She was terrified.

She was trembling in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by nothingness and emptiness. It didn't make sense. None of this made sense.

A noise suddenly sounded in the distance, and she jumped. It was the dull, booming sound of thunder, followed by another, and another.

Then, she saw something that caused her heart to stop beating.

Her mother. She was there, standing barely a couple of meters away. Her warm hazel eyes were staring straight at her, but they seemed clouded, distant. The rest of her face was expressionless as well, and her body was as unmoving as stone.

"Mother?" Val choked out, tears forming in her eyes as she rushed forward towards her.

But the instant she moved, her mother's form flickered and disappeared. She reappeared a few meters further away, still staring at her with that blank, faraway look.

Val's breath caught in her throat, and she tried again, running even faster this time. Again, her mother disappeared the second before she could reach her. Over and over, she kept disappearing, each time farther away than before, and Val could do nothing but chase after her desperately.

The rain began to pour violently, pelting her with icy water, and the sky grew darker until everything was nearly pitch black. She was soaked through, and her teeth were chattering from the cold, but she didn't care. All she cared about was getting to her mother.

"Wait! Please, wait!" she pleaded, reaching her hand out in vain. "Don't leave me! Don't go!"

But no matter how much she begged and cried, her mother kept getting further and further away until she was just a tiny dot in the distance.

Eventually, even that dot vanished, and Val fell to her knees, sobbing uncontrollably. She wanted to scream, to yell, to curse the world and everything in it. But no words would come out, only tears and heartache. She collapsed to the ground, clutching at her chest and wishing that the pain would disappear along with the rain and darkness.

"Please… come back…" she whispered, burying her face in the wet earth.

***

Val's eyes snapped open as she sucked in a sharp, ragged breath.

Her heart pounded in her ears, and her body felt stiff, as if frozen in place. A dampness clung to her cheeks, and a dull, throbbing ache pulsed through her skull.

Slowly, the nightmare drifted back in fragmented pieces: her mother, the field, the crushing emptiness. It had felt so real, as though reality itself had unraveled around her. But now, in the dim quiet of the room, it all seemed distant, like a fading echo.

She whimpered as she curled against the warm, comforting presence beside her.

Cael.

He was here. He was real. Not some cruel illusion conjured by her mind to torment her.

Clutching at him, she pulled herself closer, needing the solid reassurance of his presence. He wouldn't disappear like her mother had in that terrible dream. She remembered what he had said, what he had promised.

He wouldn't leave her.

The thought calmed her nerves, and her heartbeat slowed.

She took a deep, shaky breath and wiped the lingering tears from her face. The pounding in her head dulled into something more manageable, leaving behind only a lingering unease.

Sniffling softly, she pressed her forehead against Cael’s back, drawing comfort from the slow, steady rise and fall of his breathing. It had been a long time since she’d dreamt about her mother—longer still since she’d had a nightmare so intense.

Why was this happening now? She had buried those feelings long ago—locked them away where they couldn’t hurt her. Yet somehow, they had clawed their way back to the surface, breaking free at the worst possible moment.

She should have been happy, content even. After all, she had found someone to be by her side, someone who understood her and cared enough to stay with her despite her many flaws and eccentricities. And yet…

The image of her mother’s empty, unseeing eyes flickered through her mind, and her throat tightened. No. She wouldn’t think about it. Not now. Not while Cael was sleeping beside her.

Instead, she focused on his warmth, on the gentle rhythm of his breath, letting it lull her back into calmness.

Once she was certain that she was no longer on the verge of tears, she carefully let go of Cael and rolled over onto her back. She stared up at the ceiling, tracing the patterns in the wood with her eyes as the slightest hint of light peeked through the curtains. Dawn would arrive soon.

As her gaze wandered, her thoughts drifted, and without thinking, her fingers fumbled through the nightstand drawer until they found her pendant.

She held it up, watching the gemstone catch the faintest bit of light.

It was still glowing—that same, soft radiance she had come to expect. A shaky breath escaped her as relief flooded in, easing the remnants of her lingering anxiety.

The nightmare had shaken her, left her raw and restless, but the sight of the pendant anchored her.

She curled her fingers around it, holding it tightly and willing herself not to cry again. She didn’t want to wake Cael. If he saw her like this, he would ask questions. Or worse—he’d worry.

And he had already done so much for her.

A faint yawn broke the silence, and Val’s breath hitched.

When she turned, she found Cael watching her. His face was still softened with sleep, but his eyes, though half-lidded, were alert enough to notice things she wished he wouldn’t.

"Cael?" she whispered hesitantly, hoping he wouldn't notice the tremble in her voice or the redness of her eyes.

"Hi." He blinked slowly, groggy. "Is it morning?"

She shook her head. "Not yet."

"Mmm. Okay then." He exhaled and shut his eyes again.

For a moment, Val thought that he would drift back to sleep. But then, without opening his eyes, he spoke again.

"…What's wrong?"

Val opened and closed her mouth a couple of times, struggling to come up with an answer that wouldn't cause him concern.

"Nothing," she said finally. "I just woke early."

He cracked open an eye and studied her face. Then he lifted his arm, making grabby motions towards her.

"Hm?" she asked, confused.

"Come here." He beckoned her closer with a gentle motion. She hesitated, unsure as to what he intended, but eventually gave in and scooted nearer until she was nearly face to face with him.

He suddenly placed his hand on top of her head and started petting her. His touch was soft, almost delicate, and it sent tingles down her back.

"Cael?! What are you… doing?"

"I… don't know. Do you dislike it?"

"…No, it's nice." She relaxed into his touch and let herself be caressed. His fingers ran through her hair, lightly brushing against her scalp and sending shivers of pleasure through her.

She felt like a small child again, being held close by her parents after a bad dream. Cael wasn't her father or her mother, but the sensation of being cared for, protected, and loved was about the same.

Although perhaps there was even something more.

"You had a nightmare, right?" His eyes closed, although he kept petting her.

"H-How did you know?" she whispered, blinking rapidly.

"…Because I have them too."

The realization struck her. Of course. He had lost everything. He was just like her.

He slowly exhaled. "Do you… want to talk about it? It helps me sometimes."

Val bit her lip, considering his offer. She didn't really want to bother him about her nightmare.

But then again… maybe talking would help.

She paused shortly as she tried to find words to describe her experience.

"I was dreaming of my mother. It was a large, empty place. There was nothing around us. Nothing but darkness and cold. I saw my mother, and she looked at me. She was close. I tried to touch her, but each time I got close… she disappeared."

Cael said nothing, and Val wasn't sure what to expect. Perhaps a look of pity, or a consoling remark? But all she got from him was a silent nod, and he continued to run his hand along her hair comfortingly.

"I don't know why I dreamt of that," she continued. "It was very scary, and sad. It hurt. A lot."

"Nightmares are like that," Cael replied softly. "They're strange, confusing, painful. But they aren't real. Nightmares can't hurt us."

"I know, but… it felt real. It felt so, so real." Val's voice cracked, and fresh tears welled up in her eyes. She blinked them away before they could spill down her cheeks, but she couldn't stop her lip from trembling as she remembered the pain.

"Shh, hey, hey. Don't cry. Deep breaths. In and out." Cael's hand moved from her head to her shoulder, rubbing small circles on her skin. His other hand came up to brush the stray strands of hair that stuck to her face from the tears, wiping them off her cheek with his thumb. "You're alright. Everything's fine. You're safe."

She nodded shakily, trying to steady her breathing and regain control over her emotions. After a few seconds of slow, measured breaths, she managed to calm herself enough to stop crying.

"I miss my mom. I know she's alive, but I miss her."

"I'm sorry," Cael murmured, and his hand moved back to her head, gently stroking her hair again. "I wish I could do more."

"Thanks, Cael."

He chuckled quietly. "Do you feel better?"

"A little bit." She smiled weakly. "I am curious though. You mentioned that you had nightmares too."

"…Yeah," he sighed, and his gaze flicked away. "I've always had them. Ever since my parents died."

"What are yours about?" She leaned closer to him and placed a hand on his chest. "Can you tell me? If you feel comfortable."

His brows furrowed slightly, and he bit his bottom lip. Val could see that he was debating whether or not he wanted to answer her question.

"It's not only nightmares. Most of the time, it's… memories. Bad memories: my parents dying, my aunt dying, my sister leaving, being kicked out by my uncle."

"Memories are difficult," she agreed solemnly. "They can be painful like nightmares. Sometimes more painful."

"Yeah, they are," he muttered.

"However, nightmares aren't as bad as good dreams."