Conduit of the Desert [Scene 15]

Yunaria sat perched at the edge of her seat, blissfully unaware of the scam ahead. Even if he knew something, it was not worth two-thousand dollars. 

"Ahem," The man coughed, and cleared his throat. I swear I heard a laugh escape his mouth, that bastard. Arlene began. "To the owner of the vehicle, I have two things that may be of importance. One, your spaceship is not broken. Two, a group of people in suits came to inspect your vehicle,"

"People came to inspect it, what do you mean?" Yunaria asked, "Does that mean these strange humans came to fix it?"

"That's all, thank you. Come again."

Oh no, no, no.

"Isn't $2000 enough for your little scam-"

"IT IS SPIRITUAL GU-" the man caught himself, returning to "channel" through Arlene. "The only guidance I have received from the Gods was that there were people who came to inspect your vehicle. And that there is no major damage,"

"Are there any more details you could give us? Please. It is my only way back to my home planet," Yunaria begged. 

I didn't particularly like seeing her being like this. Earth is strange; it's natural you'd want to go to another planet if you had the chance. But somehow, I felt that I was getting closer to it, being a reality. Her leaving. 

The man stroked his chin and opened his arms wide, humming all at the same time. What a fucking idiot. Smoke filters doused the room while soft flute music kept chiming in the background. We sat in front of him in silence for a few moments, awkward as it was. On a serious note, if he happened to be telling the truth, it was too vague to go off of. Who could've stumbled across it? I mean, on the outside, it looked regular. You could only suspect it was a normal car. 

If there was anything I learned, asking nicely never worked. I had to think quick and resort to ulterior motives. I was at least smarter than this linen-clothed idiot who wore a tinfoil hat that connected him to the Gods. 

"Look, this is getting nowhere. Obviously, either you know nothing, or you know more than you're letting on and want more money. I hate dealing with pawns. I think I'll speak directly to your boss. You're a low-rate guru and scammer, your boss is the true genius,"

"A low-rate guru? Listen here, you bastard-"

"I thought you didn't speak?" I chided. Arlene looked shocked. So predictable. They compare monkeys to humans, but at the end of the day, all monkeys wanted was a banana. He was no exception.

"Are you not peon? You're working in a sweatshop in the middle of the desert. How many people live here? Maybe twenty, no thirty people. Out of all the money they give you for your "spiritual guidance", you most likely barely get a cut," I turned to Arlene, "Has your life even gotten better?"

She stumbled on her words. I saw all those people around town, gloomy as shit. He gave them false hope. It would be genius if he was the mastermind. Twisted, sure, but he's too much of an idiot to think of something like this. But there was one creature's pawprints that were written all over it. Why was he so clever?

"I'm about 95% positive as to who's behind this, and if you don't take me to him, you'll be behind bars for the rest of your life,"

"Am I supposed to believe that-"

"Leader!" Arlene interjected, "You're not supposed to talk with lower beings! Only conduits such as myself!"

"Lower beings? Conduits? You're an idiot," I pointed at Arlene, "The both of you. This is a stupid cult and you're both dunces-"

Before I finished my sentence, Yunaria flew out of the room. Smoke cleared due to the blast of her blue flames and on the wall behind both Arlene and the man was a photo of a coyote. Apparently, they were sacred to this desert tribe. Sure, that's what it was. It wasn't a regular coyote, I could tell. 

That being said, I'm sure Yunaria was hoping to get more concrete answers. I think she deserved that much, these bastards. Recently, she'd been getting more upset like that. Something made me feel off seeing her that way. I had a bone to pick with these idiots.

"Is a hut with fake smoke machines the best you can do? This is nothing. Two-thousand dollars is the most you can get from sweating in a lone desert giving spiritual advice? You could do so much more, I see the potential," I lied. 

The man sat on his purple mat, stroking his chin. He started to whisper in Arlene's ear again. I was thoroughly entertained to his commitment to the bit. It Impressed me. "Really?" Arlene asked, "A moment ago you referred to me as an idiot,"

"I refer to everyone as idiots. You are an idiot because you are limiting your potential. Why not do more?" I pulled one of my director cards with my name on it, "How about this? You tell me what you really know, and I'll get you an audience of a thousand, no, maybe more."

"You're a liar," Arlene spoke.

"Sure, but everyone is. At least I'm honest about lying. In this case, I lied that you were idiots. You're actually not. If you don't believe that name means anything, look it up. I can get you a gig that'll set you up for life. Its far more valuable than this," I pointed around the room. 

He stroked his chin for a little while longer, until finally, he opened his eyes for the first time and looked me dead in the face. He got up and grabbed the card. Another rat lost to the cheese. 

"You remind me of my boss, shrewd little fella. Look, the truth is, what I said was the truth. My guess is they were from the government. About a month ago, a random crash came from out the sky. Weeks and weeks went by, no one came back for it. Before we could check it out, a group of white vans with satellites came on the site. I was told no one could get in; I was just worried about what the government was doing in our territory,"

Sure, nothing illegal going on here. 

"They tried everything to get in, and I don't know what kind of car it is, but it took no damage. So truly, what I said was the truth. There isn't any more to it," The man finished, returning to cross his legs on the mat and close his eyes. 

Well, that was unfortunate. I was hoping there was more to it. The way Yunaria flew out of here, I'm sure she was feeling disappointed without even knowing it. Selfishly, I felt a tinge of relief. She could stay a little longer. I had been starting to have weird thoughts like that lately. Of not wanting her to leave. Hm. Whatever. 

"Well, I guess I'll be going," I got up and headed towards the door. God, these smoke machines were insufferable, and so cheap. 

"We'll be in touch, correct?" the man asked.

"Of course," I lied. He's a fucking idiot, no, a guppy out of water flapping around for air. 

The humid air hit me as soon as I walked out of the tent. People trotted around in traditional garbs along the dirt roads while the sun began to set. A small breeze ran across my face as I wondered where Yunaria rushed off to. She'll turn up, somewhere. I started walking down the path, zigzagging through this maze of a village when I heard footsteps behind me. I turned around and saw Arlene. 

"What?"

"You really have no class, boy. Do you speak to everyone like that?" 

I ignored her and kept walking. "No, only people who are idiots and can't think for themselves. You just happen to be one of those people."

"And your blue girlfriend, whatever she is, what about her? Is she an idiot, too?"

Something about that pissed me off. I wanted so badly not to respond, but I couldn't help myself. "Just stop talking to me, okay. Yunaria has nothing to do with your spiritual cult retreat or whatever this is. You can believe what you want, just don't drag me into it,"

"My brother, that man you just met, wasn't always like that. He has become a corrupt individual and lost the ways of the Gods. This village is our home, we never had much. All he did was try to get our people a better life. Money is a drug,"

"What's your point? I hope you're not trying to pull on my heartstrings, I have enough to think about. If you feel that way, then just leave," I tried to walk faster but she really was rather quick. I couldn't outpace her, dammit.

"Take this boy," She placed the $2200 in my hand, mine and Yunaria's money combined. "You're not the worst person in the world; I can tell that. You care about that strange robot woman. If you do, make sure you value her. I stay in this village, one day hoping that my brother will return to his ways. You can't expect to lie all the time, ignore things and hope they'll resolve themselves. You'll wake up one day and find that robot lady will be gone,"

Why do I attract all these idiots? I could write her off as one, and she was, but deep down, I knew she was right. Sooner or later, Yunaria would find a way to fix her spaceship. Clearly as a human, I couldn't leave Earth, but what did that mean? I'd been avoiding that, burying myself in the movie, which by the way could be going to complete hell, and I hadn't thought about what to do. 

I didn't have any words to say, so I simply handed the money back to her. I almost felt sorry. Almost. She did try and scam me. I could only muster up a single word.

"Thanks,"

In the distance, I saw Yunaria at the end of the road, looking up at the waning moon that hung in the sky. Maybe she was waiting for me. 

Did space robot women dream of love? 

I wondered that the rest of the night as Yunaria and I flew home back to Los Angeles. 

***