507. Endless world, 5

(Myls)

I gasped, and I woke up from a dreamless sleep as a wave splashed against my face. It hurts.

I survived.

I’m glued to Sanïssia, still floating somewhere on the ocean...

My flesh trying to heal and hers have partially fused together. It’s still soft so I’m not ripping real skin to pull myself away. But it still hurts as if it was.

I cough painfully.

I feel as if a scone was in my lungs. I suffocate a little on it and dust, but manage to cough it out eventually. Some bits gets stuck in my sinuses, but the rest comes out of my mouth in tears.

Dead tissues and dry blood fall in flakes.

My entire skin isn’t looking much prettier. Bubbles are bursting when I move, evacuating accumulated plasma.

I tear up even more as I try to stand up.

But the flesh below my feet twitches I can feel.

She’s still warm, and alive.

M - Rise and shine... Sanïssia...

S - Myuu...

My voice sounds like scratching pebbles.

I slowly limp my way toward her head, dropping my handguns with the skin of my palms along the way.

~

Sanïssia’s head doesn’t look much prettier than mine. The skin mostly melted, the furs and feathers burnt. But everything tries to grow back through the scald.

She even lost a few wings I recall. I’ll have to inspect these wounds later.

For now I comfort her.

She begins moving her body very slowly.

Her skin hurts and cracks when she does. She even bleeds.

I’m not sure she can really heal in sea water...

M - There were an island or two, not far, west. Remember? Let’s go there, and we can rest as long as we want. I’ll do whatever it takes to help you...

S - Myuu?

M - ... I will do...

She manages to slowly start sailing. Her numerous eyes have also burnt, but some tear up.

I realise that one of my eyes still sees rather clearly, getting better, less hurtful. The other one, not so much.

As I try to touch it, I think my eyelid melted onto it. I feel a hole on my eyelid, and the dry eye below. It’s gone.

I feel like shit, but not so much anger anymore.

I faced that god, which in the end had more hatred against me than maybe even I had against it. Facing that in a blazing fire was... Unexpectedly sad I guess.

I’m just glad it’s really over.

It paid. It died.

I killed it.

As I promised it.

I feel the slight wind on me. I shiver. When it’s soft enough, it can still feel nice. I close what I can of my eyes and breathe slowly not to hurt my lungs.

~

I think back. As I grew up all these years with Zes, I wanted to travel; just like Rose.

Being an adventurer. A hero.

I wanted more.

To feel alive, more.

My wishes... Have been granted, in all their beauty and pain. Hatred helped me overcome my regrets and guilt. But now that it’s all over, I just long to go home...

I’ve seen the end of where travelling like Rose heads you.

She can, because she has no home.

Because there’s no place for her in the world. Even in death...

Me, I have a home.

And now, I’ve seen what it’s like to travel, and experienced with my flesh what’s out there.

We’ll take our time now... But let’s just head home...

~

Sanïssia courageously reached that island we had seen on our way in.

She crawled shakily on it, barely chomping the trees on her way.

She collapsed and passed out.

I couldn’t do much for a being of her size. But I tried anyway.

With what strength I had left, I cleansed and sutured the ruptures in her skin. I gathered leaves and water in her mouth for her tongue to digest.

Until I couldn’t move my arms myself anymore, and the clothes fused to my growing skin smelled like blood and rot.

~

We spent days, surely weeks, on that island, consuming all its resources slowly.

Slowly getting better.

I fished for myself. And 90% of all the drinking water I could find went into Sanïssia’s mouth. And I kept piling up soft leaves in there for her to swallow easily.

I managed after some time to restart a boiler, linked to as system removing from water.

I needed to shovel the excess salt produced into a pool into the ocean regularly.

But at least it produced about a hundred litres a day for her to drink through a straw. A large pipe to me.

~

After maybe a month of pain, she managed to move, and eat by herself more trees.

From there, things improved more quickly.

I crafted new clothes for me along that time, and for her as well. Not full gear of course, but patches I glued to her skin here and there along her scars and wounds.

When she had eaten the last trees on the island, that I hadn’t burned myself to feel the boiler, we sailed further west to the next island.

S - Myuu...

M - I know, I know.

I do as she asks. I scratch patches of my skin and spread the dust over places where her derma is more exposed. It seems my surviving bacteria help her as well.

In many ways, some less gross than others, she asked me to give her bits of myself. Some do help her healing like that one or my saliva on some infectious wounds.

Others, I don’t know, but if it made her happy, that was good enough to me.

My voice is recovering. More oddly, my eye I thought could see clearly actually doesn’t.

I realised it when I found a book. I couldn’t read.

Writing something myself, I couldn’t read it back either.

I understood after more tests that my eye still sees a little, but far less than I thought.

It seems I have wide hollow spots and my brain actually just guesses the details between them.

Most of the time, I feel like I can see clearly, but when I go for the details like tiny writings, it doesn’t work.

The work of filling the gaps has limits. I haven’t quite noticed yet, but I bet I don’t really see colours anymore either.

Anyway, I still see what’s around me. That’s good enough for now. I still have my ten fingers as well.

I can use them all to massage Sanïssia’s tongue. She enjoys that a lot. It’s the least I can do for her. She’s more of a hero than I am.

~

We gradually increase our speed, and health.

We do lay waste to a few islands though.

But life will grow back after we’re gone. I’m not concerned.

Sanïssia’s lost wings are slowly growing back fur and new feathers over smaller protrusions.

Patches of her skin, fur and feathers have darker colours now. I think it’s thanks to me and my transplants, unless it’s a seasonal thing.

My hair and skin grow back as well from their burns. I hadn’t realised at first, but my entire scalp had burnt short.

Just like Calamity a long time ago.

I think I’ll grow my hair longer like Rose from now on.

Speaking of Calamity. For now, I’m still holding onto the mementos I have of her.

Two of the ivory swords. The last ones.

I haven’t decided what to do with them yet. I don’t want to keep them as trophies from a hunt or a won war spoil.

I see them as mementos of what’s out there, and what wrath can become.

Out there, a god created this. It’s like the ruins of the city of Sun. Out there, humans created that... Well, a god-like daiûa called Magenta created those, along with the one wielding them, to be used against us.

It’s a frightening memento of what powers can exist beyond your gardens.

My handguns and these swords. Though I would be unable to manufacture either from scratch.

Daiûas are insanity turned real.

Zeslinry kept a lost leg as a reminder of that. Not to underestimate the things that live in this world now.

When I look at these ivory enamel blades, it reminds me of that tough lesson too.

The face, and screams, of Calamity, will haunt some of my nights from here on.

But it’s alright...

We’ll just go home.

We’re about to reach the continent already.

Soon, Sanïssia will be able to fly again I’m sure.

And then...

~