Graduation from the Seminary

“We’ll proceed with the first graduation, the woman who has continued to uphold her position in the highest-ranking spot in the Seminary of Silver’s educational census, Liel Augustine Astalette.” Meister Coreas’s deep voice rang through the hall, silencing the clamoring of the crowd.

A thousand scholars and their respective Apprentice Meisters had gathered in the main conference hall of the Seminary of Silver. Beams of sun shone through the high and gaudy intricate windows that lined the hall, causing the polished stone underneath Liel’s feet to glimmer as she walked.

In that hall, the scholars stood on either side of her, their eyes filled with a mixture of admiration, astonishment, or sadness that it was her time to leave.

This mixture of emotions was surely because she was the top of her class, and definitely because she was an Astalette. Shouldn’t a member of this family have all eyes on her at all times?

There was also a hint of excitement in their eyes, trying to anticipate her next move. Wouldn’t the daughter of her mother, a legend, declare their intentions to achieve great things during their graduation ritual?

Liel waltzed up the steps at the head of the hall onto a polished platform of the same glimmering stone, facing the two Meisters ahead of her. The first, Meister Sif, reached out with both of his hands, embracing her.

She smiled as he did this. His warmth had long faded, and the old man was more reminiscent of a corpse than a man, but his gentleness carried more feelings of a father than any person Liel had ever known throughout her life.

“Liel Astalette… I remember bringing you to the orphanage when you were so tenderly small. Oh, how you’ve grown to look just like your mother.” Meister Sif had a gentle, reminiscent look on his face.

“Do I truly remind you of my mother?” On this topic, Liel’s calm demeanor started to melt away. Meister Sif had overseen the teachings of the Seminary of Silver for decades. This, of course, encapsulated a time in which Liel’s mother would have been a scholar instead of a dead legend uttered by all.

“Oh, dearest Eulalie, her eyes were as blue as cornflowers, and her hair copper… now that I try to recall it, she wore it short too, just like you are now. Although, I think she didn’t offer her temperament to you. You were blessed to avoid such a thing. A loud and brazen little child, she was. But it’s not just her appearance you adopt. I think it is also your potential that you embody. I know you will accomplish so much more than I can think to dream of.” The Meister’s voice cracked a little as he spoke. It was endearing.

“Thank you, Meister.” Her emotions were mixed on the matter of her mother. Because of that, it wasn’t often she asked about her. More than that, she felt that a broader understanding would sour the image of her mother, such a legend in their history. Maybe she was eager to be in the dark so that she could feel she truly was the daughter of a hero. “Meister, I thought a lot about what you said to me last year, about what I should wish to choose during my graduation, and I think I’ve finally come to a decision.”

“Before that, I have something you must keep in mind.”

Liel nodded her head. Any advice from such a prominent and beloved figure would be something she would treasure.

“Whatever Deity you might choose to follow, you must abide by their tenants absolutely. Otherwise, their ‘blessing’ will not reach you. You will not be able to use the ability they provide you.”

Liel nodded her head in understanding. This was something she had studied time and time again. She knew each Deity’s tenants to the very last word. But for her, her choice wasn’t about power. She had no need for it. It was her own Will she had in mind.

“You’ve seen it enough times. You know how this ritual goes. Address the audience. Let them know what path the leader of the pack has decided to follow.” This was a bit of Meister Sif’s humour. He knew that Liel had some aversions to the praise from being ranked number one in examinations, and so often teased her for it.

Liel turned around, the edges of her scholar’s cloak waving like a banner that followed her every move. Her eyes filled with determination as she faced the audience of her fellow scholars. In the front row, she could see Alice, the young woman she had spent several years teaching as she herself fell into her studies.

Every day, for so many years, all she had done was study. Sixteen years in the orphanage, and five in the Seminary… she had met so many people, so many friends, allies, and built so many bridges, and now she faces those friends, about to leave them.

She had ruminated over her choices for a long time. If she were to join the Paladin’s Templar, she would have to move to the Capital of the Holy Empire, and it would become impossible to visit Alice and the others. This would definitely make her page sad, but it would also become difficult for Liel to move forward if she made this decision. It was a similar case in choosing to study under a reputable Master. She would be able to continue her studies, but she would still be stuck in place.

Seeing the gazes of all of the scholars upon her, viewed as the daughter of a legend, the descendant of a family that should do great things, her body instinctively began to tremble.

‘I asked Alice if relying on others to overcome fear was a positive thing to her, and she so eagerly replied with a ‘yes’. How can I follow these paths when mine is ‘no’?'

“I’m going to become a Wandering Crusader! I will offer my vows to the Blind Throne, the Watcher of Light, Lord Ciseus!”

Meister Sif smiled from behind her. ‘Ha, that’s not what I expected at all. Maybe she really is like her Mother.’

This was not the same reaction that the audience had. Especially Alice, who stood at the forefront, looked at her with an expression of shock, powerless to say anything at all. ‘A Wandering Crusader? One of those lone-wolf types? I thought Instructor Astalette would return to her family’s estate to study under one of her relatives! And serving Lord Ciseus? Is this really her style at all? No, she certainly should have chosen Lord Chimes! What is she thinking?’

A Wandering Crusader was a person that acted indifferently to the Horror that festered in the world of Hel. They were more like vagrants that occasionally performed good deeds. They would visit an estuary, a point for Paladins to restock necessary items and receive missions, and at times, if ever necessary, they would be drafted to fight against Horror. But men and women like these did not receive written tales, and songs were not sung of their heroics.

Could a person like this do great things? Why was a daughter of the Astalette family choosing to go down a path that directly nullified their chances of success? Was the daughter of Eulalie Astalette a person like this?

A scholar cried out from the depths of the audience, “what is this? Are you joking with us now!?”

This was an unusual occurrence. Clamors erupted amongst the scholars, filled with doubts of her choices, unsure if she really meant what she had said. Then again, had they ever known this person who mimicked a doll to ever joke?

To Paladins, there was rarely division. All Deities were respected equally, and all were accepted as true. One would choose to serve a Deity whose morals and Will they thought they aligned with most, and that was a key factor in how one would successfully perform as a Paladin. If one didn’t align fully with their Patron Deity’s will, they could not gain their blessing.

And a Paladin without a Deity’s blessing was not long for the world.

But then that meant that this woman standing before them, who they had always viewed as a confident and over-achieving person was someone trying to play an ancillary role.

The Lord Ciseus, the Blind God, was not a Deity who sought to craft the end, but uphold the path to it. He was the Deity of fallen soldiers, of those who built the road to victory. He did not believe in being finality, but one of the steps to it. He was the God of Martyrs.

How could someone who acted in the background as a lone wolf achieve great things? Wasn’t this acting against oneself in that regard? Of course, these were all their own expectations of her. Liel had a different mind.

That was why her next words were something that truly shocked them.

“And for the rune I will bear, I choose ‘Calm’.”

When Meister Sif heard her choose ‘Calm’, he did not have a look of surprise on his face, contrary to the others in the hall. This was because Meister Sif knew her as well as she knew herself. He knew that she was not truly a calm, composed girl. He knew that her prowess wasn’t sourced from her family’s name, but the blood seeped in the bindings of her books wrought from paper cuts, and the sweat of swinging her sword until her arms could not bear its weight. He knew that she was a woman with a mask, and that the world that adored her also terrified her.

“You know, I never understood why the Astalette Family chooses to give their children away to the orphanage. Of course, I understand that becoming a Paladin is what they’re known for, but really… well, if they hadn’t done this, then we wouldn’t have spent the last twenty-one years together, would we?”

“No, I think not, Meister. I am also glad that this was the path my life took.” Liel turned around to face Meister Sif with a nervous smile on her face. In truth, in the past few days, she had been engulfed by anxiety regarding the previous moment. She expected such a reaction from her peers. Her lineage was an overbearing weight on her shoulders that she had always tried to ignore by hiding her emotions with a doll-faced mask, but she hadn’t ever thought that it had become the scholar’s innate perception of her. That was her mistake.

“Aren’t you surprised by my choices?” Her gaze filled with a hint of worry.

“Not at all.” Meister Sif smiled warmly, tucking his hands behind his back. “Really, do you think we raise you all with judgment? Besides, we know you will do great things. It doesn’t matter what path you take. I know your journey will yield amazing results.”

The Meister reached into his cloak, procuring a small steel needle and held it up to Liel’s cheek. “Now, your fears might be alleviated, child. I’m so very glad for you. You should experience the world without anxieties for once. Although I must admit, I wonder why you chose Lord Ciseus, of all Lords. You’ve never struck me as the type to try and become a martyr. I truly thought you would have chosen to declare vows to Lord Chimes, if anything, due to your love for knowledge.”

He moved the needle forward, pressing against the flesh of her face. The steel needle quickly pierced Liel’s cheek, and in an instant, a cold feeling washed over her body, like a feeling of imminent danger would. However, the emotion that accompanied the chill was lovely, and instantly refreshed her emotional state, plunging her into calm.

Dispersing from the needle, silver liquid writhed under the skin of her cheek, swirling like clouds in a storm. Each point of this liquid stretched outwards, sharpening its edges until a line had been created. And then another, and another, and slowly these lines connected until they formed a faded silver rune on her face, one representing ‘calm’. It was the rune of a Paladin, one that marked their role. Seeing this was meant to quell the anxieties of the people in a dangerous situation.

The liquid that had been injected into her cheek was Siltte, the blood of the World Tree that held up all worlds. It was the primary tool of Paladins, and also their greatest strength. This living substance carried the World Tree’s Will, and so it could have effects on the body. This was the reason for Liel’s choosing of ‘Calm’. She hoped that it would help her truly alleviate her fears.

“I realised early on that when I forced myself to undergo something, it wasn’t because I wanted to do it, or because I wanted to overcome it. It was only because people were watching me. Honestly, if I wasn’t an Astalette, and people chose to ignore me, I wouldn’t have gone so far with my studies. Actually, I might have just given up on the journey to Hel two years ago. Horror is too terrifying for me to face again. As a Wandering Crusader, I just want to live a life of blessing harvests, administering rites to lost spirits, and quelling small beasts. I don’t want to be a hero; I don’t want to do great things… I wish people would stop asking me to do so.”

Meister Sif replied in turn, his expression unaverred by her words. “They say that sometimes, courage comes from others. I won’t debate that it can be helpful to source your bravery from within, but I don’t necessarily think that it's the end-all be-all of a person. You should definitely pursue what you want, and try out all sorts of methods of bettering yourself. But I won’t ever let you demean the sort of life you’re trying to live. Would you say that all the others who bless the village’s harvests and help the souls of the dead move on are not doing great things? Do you think I’m the type of person who fails to equate the honour between killing many monsters and helping others to eat during the winter?”

“Don’t all people?”

“When you go out and see the rest of the world, you will learn that people are certainly not a monolith. When you visit, I hope to hear of what lessons you’ve learned. Become a great person, Liel Astalette.”

In that moment, Liel deeply understood Meister Sif’s role in their lives. As she immediately recalled, Meister Sif had never given them blank or stale advice. He was someone who always tried to make them truly understand his lessons.

He wasn’t just a teacher. For the orphans of the Seminary, he was like a father.

“Yes, Meister. I’ll become the person you expect me to be.” She understood that this promise to the Meister wasn’t contrary to her intentions to live an easy life, free of expectation. Liel was the type of person who liked to learn. All that Meister Sif was asking her to do was what she had always been doing, essentially to be herself as she always had.

When they had exchanged final goodbyes, Liel was prompted to stand before Meister Coreas. She did not know this man as much as she had Meister Sif, but that was because they did not exchange words through speaking, but through the blows of their blades. As the primary physical instructor of the Seminary, Meister Coreas was a silent and brooding individual, whose only words were lessons to the scholars.

“You know the words, girl.” His expression was cold and unmoved by her declarations. He gave off the impression that he did not care what path Liel took, but she knew that wasn’t the truth. In reality, Meister Coreas wore a mask too.

Liel smiled as she placed her hand upon her heart, closing her eyes and bowing her head. Above the two Meisters, plastered on the wall, ornate silver plates curled outwards, representing the branches of the World Tree. Between these plates, a stained-glass window opened up the sky, revealing the true Tree blotting out its blue hues.

In the view of the tree that held up the world, Liel spoke out towards her Patron Deity, aware that he would not gaze back. This was why she had chosen to serve him. As a Deity that did not see, and as a lone Wandering Crusader, there would be no one watching her. It was only in her solitude that she could test herself- to see if she could truly summon courage without the expectant gazes of others.

“You are the Blind Throne of Yyssierr, the Watcher of Light who shall not bear witness to Horror. You refuse to open your eyes until Hel is alight with the warmth of the sun, and I seek to be an element in that inevitability. I beseech you, bless my motives, which are yours, and allow me to align myself to your Will…” Liel paused for a moment, letting out a heavy breath.

“I will surely carry out your plans.”