That Day

WARNING: This chapter contains depictions of self-harm. Please, read at your own discretion.

"Again, Taka?"

Her voice was soft, almost amused, like this was some kind of game. Like my heart wasn't on the table for the seventh time in seven years.

"Well, you mentioned that you liked me the other day," I said, trying to sound casual. "That was a first, so I took it as a hint."

"Oh, come on. I say that to everyone!"

Not to me, you don't. You also flirt with me to no end, cling to me like I'm yours, and get jealous whenever I hang out with other girls.

But, like always, I decided to leave that part out.

"Thought I'd try again. You know. Lucky number seven."

Chiaki smiled. The same smile I'd been chasing since middle school. The same one that had always made me believe maybe, just maybe, next time she'd say yes.

"I'm flattered," she said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Really. But..."

Here it comes.

"...there's someone else I've been interested in lately."

And just like that, the air left my lungs. Not because I was heartbroken — I'd been rejected before. I could handle that. No, what hurt was how light she made it sound. Like I was a chapter she'd skimmed over a long time ago.

"Oh," I said, the word dropping like a stone in my throat. "Only a month, huh?"

She didn't deny it. Just gave me that same gentle smile. The one she used on everyone.

"Yeah. He's this really cool guy who has shown me nothing but kindness. I wanna go for him, so I hope you understand."

I do. I really do. But that didn't make it hurt any less.

What about me? I've shown you nothing but kindness. No... that's false. I've shown you kindness and more, but I've always gotten the short end of the stick. For seven whole years.

The clouds rolled in like clockwork. By the time I crossed the bridge back to campus, the sky was already covered in clouds.

I didn't have an umbrella. Didn't care enough to bring one.

The city lights below blurred behind the gloom, and my footsteps echoed off the soaked pavement like a metronome. I wasn't angry. Just tired. Tired of hoping. Tired of pretending it didn't sting every time I came in second to someone who barely tried.

I stopped at the center of the bridge, then gripped the railing with wet hands and leaned forward, watching the river churn below.

Maybe love just isn't for me.

That's when I heard it. Just ahead, "Hey."

I looked up. And there she was.

Leaning against the railing stood a girl who looked about my age, but everything about her felt... off.

She wore a black top that was tucked under a pair of shorts that rode up way higher than they should've. Draped over her was an oversized maroon jacket — way too big for her frame, practically swallowing her whole.

Her black hair fell in a neat wolf cut, the bangs sweeping across her face to barely hide her right eye. The one I could see seemingly glowed a dull amber, soft yet completely indifferent... like she didn't care about me, herself, or anything else in the world.

"You gonna jump already? Or should I go first?"

I froze. Couldn't move a muscle.

"I'm... sorry?"

"Yeah. You know. Body. Over the edge. Splash. Close your eyes and never open them again."

"Wha— Y-you mean... suicide?!"

"Oh. You weren't? You looked just about as fed up with life as I was, so I figured you had the same idea. That not the case?"

"No! Not at all!"

"Oops. My bad."

She hunched forward, pulled a cigarette from her pocket, and stuck it between her lips. Then, with a flick of a lighter, she lit the tip and took a drag. The smoke curled around her as she exhaled slowly.

"So? What's your deal?" she asked, her voice low and flat. "Out walking on a gloomy day like this... I figured we were on the same page. Guess not."

"Ah... that... I was just— Wait, hold on! What do you mean by the same idea? What were you planning to do?"

"Jump."

"W-what...?"

She tilted her head, squinting at me like I was the slow one here.

"Is it that hard to understand? Like I said. Body. Over the edge. Splash. Close your eyes and—"

"Yeah, I got that part," I muttered, waving my hands. "I meant... why?"

That's when she turned away, her gaze drifting toward the water below.

"Why, huh...? Dunno. Just felt like a good day to call it quits."

I stared at her for a bit longer. Those words were so flat — so bland — that I could actually believe she was gonna attempt the impossible. That was why I had to ask...

"Are you... alright?"

"Why do you care? Cuz I'm a pretty girl standing alone at the edge of a bridge? What if I were a man? Would you still extend this level of worry?"

"What a stupid question. At the end of the day, a stranger is a stranger. But if I see a stranger trying to take their own life, then you bet your ass I'm gonna try and stop them."

She twitched to a halt, casting a sideways glance as if she were trying to uncover the true meaning behind my words.

"Some people wake up and decide to eat pancakes," she said out of the blue. "But me... I wake up and think, Wow, I really hate everything. Same concept."

"That is not the same concept at all..."

She took another puff, blowing smoke off to the side.

"Agree to disagree."

I stared at her, absolutely dumbfounded.

"You're being serious right now? You really were gonna jump?"

Again, she glared at me without any particular emotion, but that was enough to petrify me completely.

"You're kinda loud, you know that?"

"Oh, wow. I wonder why. Totally has nothing with you saying you'd jump off a bridge like it was a casual Thursday night activity."

"But... it's Sunday."

"That's not the point at all, and you know it."

A long silence followed, broken only by the faint hiss of her cigarette.

"Hey… You know what it's like to hit rock bottom?"

"Huh? What do you—"

She chuckled, pointing the cigarette at me.

"See? Loud again."

Another puff. Another second of silence. Then her expression softened—just a fraction. Barely enough to catch.

"If it makes you feel any better, I wasn't completely serious."

"You... weren't?"

"I mean, I didn't bring a towel. Who'd wanna jump into a river without a towel?"

"...That's your reason?"

"Self-care matters, idiot."

The girl tilted her head back, her eyes tracing the endless sprawl of gray above us. The clouds hung heavy, bloated with rain just waiting to pour, like even the sky was tired of pretending things were fine.

She took one last drag from her cigarette. Then inhaled slowly.

"Well," she said, flicking the half-burned stub over the railing. "Peace. Hope life treats you better than it did for me."

Before I could fully process the words, she was already climbing the railing.

My heart stopped.

"W-wha— Wait! Hey!"

Without thinking, I lunged forward, grabbing the back of her jacket and yanking her off the ledge. The momentum threw me off balance, and I fell flat on my back with a heavy thud — the air knocked clean out of my lungs.

As for the girl... she landed right on top of me.

Her hands rested on either side of my shoulders, legs straddling my waist as her maroon jacket fell over us like a curtain. Our faces were just inches apart — so close, I could count her lashes.

A clap of thunder shook the atmosphere, followed by droplets of water. Before long, the splatters overtook us, and we succumbed to heavy rainfall.

The girl blinked once. Then, slowly and casually, she blew the last bit of smoke into my face.

"Are you always this dramatic, or am I just lucky?"

I coughed.

"You...! Are you fucking crazy?! You were really gonna do it?!"

"Guess I was, but you ruined the moment. Now I have to rethink my whole schedule.”

"S-schedule?! What are you even talking about?!"

She sat back like this was all perfectly normal. "What? You think people just throw themselves off bridges without penciling it in first?"

"People don't throw themselves off bridges. Period."

"Oho, how blind you are to the cruelties of this world. You have a lot to learn, my new friend."

I covered my face with both hands.

"I think I'm gonna lose my mind."

"Great," she snickered, poking my nose. "After all, misery loves company."

The girl pushed herself up and looked away, then extended a hand down to me.

Reluctantly, I took it. She pulled me to my feet like nothing had just happened. No thanks. No comment. No acknowledgment of the fact that she nearly swan-dived off a bridge seconds ago.

Instead, she pulled out another cigarette. When she was about to flick her lighter, the realization hit her. It was now raining.