On That Bridge

"Tch... What a waste."

The girl tossed the cigarette over the rail. It was too wet to light.

I exhaled and stepped closer.

"Hey... Where's your dorm?"

"Dorm?"

"Yeah. Y'know... the place you live?"

She puckered her lips thoughtfully.

"Oh? Trying to follow a lady home in the dead of night? You're a lot bolder than you look."

"W-what?! N-no! That's not— I just wanted to walk you back! Just in case you... tried something again..."

"Right. Classic line. That's what they all say when you're drunk at a bar. 'It's for your safety,' they say, and next thing you know, they're the real danger."

That sounded a bit too real.

Now that I'm thinking about it, that might be what's going on here. This girl — whoever she is — must've been through something extremely traumatic. That would certainly explain everything. The bridge. The attempt. The deflection.

"I… I'm sorry," I said softly. "I didn't know."

"Huh?" She mumbled, frowning sharply. "Wait... Are you thinking what I think you're thinking right now?"

"Eh?"

"Because if you are, I'm gonna beat the shit out of you."

"W-wait, what? What did I do?"

"For the record, no one has ever touched my body. Ever. And the ones who tried? Six feet under. Literally. So don't start drawing up weird, pitiful backstories in your head. Got it?"

"Y-yes, ma'am…"

"Good. And if you really need to know, I don't have a dorm."

"You… don't?"

"Nope."

"Then why are you even still on campus?"

"Campus?"

"Why do you keep repeating words like we're on some quiz show? We're literally standing on a college campus. Dorms. Students. Classes. Ring a bell?"

She looked around like she was noticing the buildings for the first time.

"College… huh. Damn. I really wandered far, didn't I?"

"…Wait. You're not a student here?"

"Nope. Never saw the appeal. You go in, pay a small fortune for a shiny piece of paper, then work yourself to death until you croak. Not really my vibe."

"Then… where do you live?"

"Still on that, huh?" she chuckled, narrowing her eyes playfully. "You're awfully curious about a stranger's housing situation."

"I told you, it's not like that! I just—!"

"Pfft…"

She let out a short, breathy laugh. The first real one.

"Honestly, despite being so goddamn loud… you're kinda fun to talk to."

I froze.

That smile — brief, genuine, and completely out of place — shook me more than anything she'd said before. No smirk. No sarcasm. Just a faint smile that reached her tired, amber eyes.

For the first time since I met her, she wasn't hiding behind a wall.

"Anyway," she said, turning back toward the bridge. "I don't have a home. Not anymore. I left it all behind... but it left me first. Was gonna finish the job, ya know? Of course, just like everything else, that didn't exactly go according to plan."

"Ah…"

"No need to worry. I'm over it. Even if it wasn't part of the plan, I'm still alive and kicking. But, thanks to you, now I need to figure out what I'm gonna do."

An intrusive thought made its way into my head. This is a dumb idea. This is so stupid, and yet, I keep thinking about it. At the same time, though... I can't leave her here.

"You said you didn't have a place to stay, right?"

Her eyes narrowed the moment those words left my mouth.

"And here I was starting to wonder when you'd say it. The same exact line that the last guy who approached me tried to pull off. It got old the first time. Why don't you try again, but with a bit more creativity? Maybe then, I'll consider it."

"...You're one weird chick, you know that?"

"Says you. You were about to offer to go back to your place, weren't you? And what were you planning to do once we got there, huh?

"W-wha—?! Okay, okay. I know how it looks, and you're rightfully paranoid. If you want, I'll go on my way and forget all about this, but... I just need some kind of assurance that you won't jump the moment I turn my back."

"Tch... You're so fucking annoying. For a complete stranger, you're doing way too much."

"I'm just selfish. Realistically, I couldn't care less about you or your situation. But if you end up jumping, that's gonna stay with me for the rest of my life."

"And why should I care about your conscience?"

"You don't have to. That's why I'm making such a ridiculous offer knowing full well what it implies."

For a while, we just stared at each other. Under the rain with no cover, no words, and no one else around.

Then, the girl let out a faint chuckle.

"Sure, I'll go with you."

"...Huh?"

"You heard me. I said, I'll go with you. But I have to warn you... Even if I am a girl, offering something like that to a total stranger is dangerous. You don't know what I'm capable of."

"No, I don't. That's why I'm regretting even entertaining you for so long. If I had known this would happen—"

"Then what?" she butt in, her smile fading as she tilted her head. "Would you have let me jump?"

I froze.

Of course not. I could never let something like that happen. I wouldn't be able to live with myself. But still… this was getting way out of hand.

"Having second thoughts, are you?" she scoffed, her voice a little softer now. "That's fine. You can go. Forget you ever met me. Certainly wouldn't be the first time someone's done that to me."

Despite the rain, I heard her loud and clear. Those words hit me square in the chest. They weren't sarcastic or flippant this time. Just… tired. And sad.

"If I did that… If I walk away right now… would you go back to the way you were?" I asked quietly. "Would you finish what you started?"

"Course I would," she said plainly. "Like I told you, I don't have a home anymore. Nothing left to go back to. No point sticking around if no one gives a damn."

My fists clenched at my sides.

To be honest... I understand. Maybe not to the same extent, but the feeling? Yeah. I get it.

Just moments ago, I was walking down this bridge alone, staring down into the dark, thinking about how Chiaki never saw me the same way I saw her. Not even once. After all the years of hoping, after every quiet little moment I thought might have meant something — she picked someone else.

It was like a chunk of me just… gave out.

Even if it was only for a second, I wondered if it'd be easier to just disappear. To forget it all. That's how it starts, isn't it?

The thought.

The option.

The escape.

It's selfish, I know. But sometimes, the pain just… sits in your chest like a lead weight.

Still, no matter how much it hurts, I couldn't bring myself to do it. And after talking to this girl, I couldn't let her go through with it, either.

So, I turned around and began walking.

"Well? You gonna keep standing there? Let's go."

"What?"

"You heard me. I said, Let's go."

She blinked. Then blinked again before letting out an air of disbelief.

"No fucking way. You're totally insane."

"I guess I am."

"Yeah? Well..." she mused, pushing off the railing and walking toward me. "That makes two of us."

She stopped in front of me, hands in her pockets, rain soaking through the sleeves of her hoodie. She stood with a casual slouch, maybe an inch or two below my chin. Her presence, though, felt way bigger.

"Megumi no Hana."

I froze, my eyes widening.

That name... It took a while for it to register in my head, but I know that name. Or rather, I don't really know. I just know of it because Chiaki would never shut up about the person behind that name.

And that person...

"Y-you—!"

The girl pushed a finger against my lips before glancing up at me with a very knowing smirk.

"Judging by your reaction, it looks like you really didn't know who I was. That gives me a bit of hope. Try not to blow my cover, hmm?"

I couldn't say anything. Even if I could, her finger was still over my lips.

"Ah, sorry," she said, retracting her finger. "I'll be your care, mister..."

I sighed and ran a hand through my wet hair, already regretting every single decision I'd made tonight.

"...Shohei Taka."