It's Gotten Old... (Soren)

Vrrr…vrrr…vrrr…

I was awoken by the sound of my phone vibrating. Being such a light sleeper meant that things like this were normal. I figured it was best to just ignore it and try to fall back asleep.

Vrrr…vrrr…vrrr…

It didn’t take long for me to realize that that wouldn’t be possible. The sound was just too bothersome. With the little energy I could muster, I turned to the side, grabbed my phone, and declined the call. Then I closed my eyes again.

Vrrr…vrrr…vrrr…

There weren’t many things in the world that could frustrate me enough to break my composure, but this was close to doing it.

I slowly sat up from my bed and drew a long breath. It was clear that I wouldn’t be able to get any more sleep. So with my phone in hand, I answered the call and held it to my ear.

“Hello, Katerina. Good morning.”

***

My attendance at school was perfect. I hadn’t been absent once since the start of the year, and would even arrive about half an hour early on most days in order to study and talk with the very few friends I had. I’m sure most people would call me a nerd because of that, but school was quite literally my only lifeline. It wasn’t that I loved it, nor was it that I had complete faith in it—I simply knew what it was like to waste my days away without having accomplished anything. School was a means of staving off that lifestyle.

Things had changed quite a bit recently, though. I had gotten with Katerina purely out of fascination and as a way to try something new, but she seemed to have become a little too attached to me. It especially got worse after she told me she had a falling out with Adella. With her best friend no longer in the picture, I was now the only focus of her attention.

Maybe things had gone too far. Hanging out with her wasn’t exactly enjoyable anymore, and I could tell that Adella would probably blame me for what happened between them.

“Hello, hello, Soren!”

As I was sitting at my desk and waiting for class to start, Midas came up and started talking to me.

“Quick question,” he said, “do you think I’m ugly?”

Although he always tried to appear frivolous, I knew I couldn’t let my guard down around him. He was able to see right through me back when we had that group study session in the library.

“Ugly?” I asked. “I’d say the opposite is true. You’re pretty attractive.”

He gave me a look filled with joy, his eyes sparkling. “You really mean that? Everyone else that I asked immediately said yes.”

“They’re probably lying. I think you just aren’t very respected.”

“You know, I get that feeling too. I wonder why…”

All he was doing was making small talk.  I found it to be extremely suspicious. He was obviously trying to earn my friendship, but was that really the only thing he wanted from me? It was hard to believe.

“Anyway,” I said, “did you want something?”

“Are you trying to make me leave? I just wanted to talk, man. Harsh.”

“No, I—”

“Oh, did you hear about what happened in the gym’s storage room? Apparently it got vandalized.”

“Vandalized?”

“Yeah. They said it looks like a tornado ran through it. I also heard that the culprit left a note.”

“What’d the note say?”

“Beats me. The school staff is probably keeping it confidential. Maybe it’s exposing the corrupt ways of our education system or something. Pretty cool, if you ask me.”

I suppose Midas could say some interesting things every now and then. Someone who vandalized school property definitely wasn’t very good of a person, but I still couldn't help but wonder what the culprit’s motivations were and what they wrote on the note they left.

Ding! Ding! Ding!

With the ring of the bell, our conversation was unfortunately cut short. Midas grudgingly went back to his seat and class started shortly after.

***

My normal routine after school now was to walk with Katerina for a bit and then go home and study. At first, it was nice, almost like I was some knight in shining armor wooing the delicate beauty before heading off into battle. That was how I perceived it. It was fun to act.

But things had quickly deteriorated since then.

Katerina tightly held my arm as she sauntered alongside me, telling me about how her day went. I didn’t really care that much, to be completely honest. All I did was give her dismissive responses, and yet she kept rambling on.

“My arm’s still sore from the shots I got the other day. It really hurt during gym class!”

“Don’t worry. You’ll feel better soon.”

“I hope so. Hey, we should go and see a movie. I heard it’s a great spot for couples to bond.”

“Maybe when we both have time.”

“Valentine’s Day is right around the corner too. I can’t wait!”

“Me neither.”

Where had all the fun disappeared to? Did I really enjoy the process of charming her more than the end product?

That couldn’t have been it. What I initially wanted was the type of relationship I’d read about in books, and at one point, it felt like I had that. I was able to entice her all I wanted and make her fall even deeper in love with me. The way she would let me do absolutely anything to her made it feel like I really was in a romance novel. She had given me the very scenario that I’d been looking for. That much was certain.

So it puzzled me as to why things no longer felt the same. If I wanted to, I could’ve captivated this girl to no end. I could’ve made it so she wouldn’t have been able to live without me. It already seemed like I was on the way to becoming her sole reason for existing, so no matter how absurd this might have sounded, none of it was impossible.

I just didn’t want to do that.

It felt like I no longer had any interest in what she had to say or how she responded to me. Like I’d explored every part of her to my heart’s content and now there was nothing left for me to discover. The whole reason I went out with her in the first place was for my own entertainment, but…even entertainment could get boring.

The conclusion wasn’t hard to make: I was simply over it.

And it wasn’t only that. It was now evident that I felt nothing but pure ennui from being around this girl. I wanted to end things right then and there, just to prevent the time I had to experience that feeling from being lengthened.

Yes. Right then and there.

I abruptly stopped in my tracks and turned to look at her. She was startled.

“Katerina,” I said. “Let’s have a talk.”