The Tribulations of Kabuki

Kabuki Training Centre, Classroom, Early morning

The students are waiting in the classroom. Some of them are standing and others are sitting on the floor.

Kaoru has an annoyed expression. She has her arms crossed, clearly waiting impatiently.

Kaoru: “Are they seriously going to be late again?!”

The door slides open. Keiji walks into the room, massaging his back. He is clearly not in a rush. In fact, it looked like he was taking his time getting here.

Keiji: “Sorry. I slept in.”

Kaoru is angry. She points a finger at Keiji accusingly.

Kaoru: “Have some damn respect! What’s the point of doing Kabuki if you’re just going to screw around?! I’ve never seen an actor like you!”

The door slides open again. Ōemon walks through. He, like Keiji, is clearly not in a rush. He yawns casually. His pose, expression, and way he speaks are all the same as Keiji’s.

Ōemon: “Sorry. I slept in.”

A close-up of Kaoru’s disgusted expression.

Title card: Onnagata. Episode 3.

Kabuki Training Centre, Classroom, Morning

The students are sitting down on the floor. Ōemon stands in front of the whiteboard at the front of the classroom. He writes ‘Tsuchigumo (土蜘)’ on the board.

Ōemon: “I believe the best way for you to learn is by doing. Nothing will teach you more about Kabuki than being on stage and performing it. So, this class will be performing the play ‘Tsuchigumo (土蜘).’ It’s a pretty basic story. The hero, Minamoto Raiko, has fallen ill. A travelling monk comes and offers to heal him, only to reveal that he is actually an evil spider spirit. The spider spirit tries to kill Raiko, but is stopped by his retainer, Hirai Yasumasa. Hirai Yasumasa chases the spider spirit to its lair and then kills it. The world is saved. Happy ending.”

Ōemon looks back to the students. He is looking at a piece of paper.

Ōemon: “Since it’s everyone’s first time, I’ll be assigning each of you your roles. First up, Onodera-san: you will be playing the servant, Kocho. Kudou-san: you will be playing Minamoto Raiko.”

Keiji puts his hands together.

Keiji (Narration): “Please give me a big role. Please give me a good role…”

Ōemon: “Kaoru, you’ll be the retainer, Hirai Yasumasa.”

Kaoru looks very pleased with her role.

Ōemon: “And Endo-kun, you will be the travelling monk, Chichu.”

Keiji looks disappointed.

Keiji: “Ehh? C’mon, sensei, could you have given me a lead role?”

Kaoru turns around, annoyed.

Kaoru: “That is a lead role, idiot.”

Keiji: “Huh?”

Kaoru: “The travelling monk Chichu reveals himself to actually be the spider spirit. You’re playing the namesake of the play!”

Keiji: “Oh. But I want to play the hero, sensei!”

Kaoru: “Idiot! Just be grateful you got a big role!”

Ōemon smiles lazily.

Ōemon: “If you do well in this play, I’ll give you the hero role for the next one.”

Keiji is still unhappy, but he is satisfied with the deal.

Keiji: “Alright. I’ll try hard then.”

Ōemon turns to the class.

Ōemon: “Okay. Go home. Memorise your lines. We’ll start rehearsals first thing tomorrow.”

Keiji’s apartment, Keiji’s room, Plain, Mostly Empty, Surprisingly Tidy, Night

Keiji is lying on his bed. He takes out the script for the play. He opens up the first page and starts to read. His eyes almost immediately start to drift closed. He is falling asleep.

Keiji’s apartment, Keiji’s room, Plain, Mostly Empty, Surprisingly Tidy, Early morning

Keiji wakes up with the script on his face. He takes the script off. He realises he hasn’t studied the script at all.

Keiji: “Damn it.”

Kabuki Training Centre, Classroom, Morning

Keiji opens the sliding door and comes in lazily.

Keiji: “Sorry. I slept in.”

The rest of the class is already getting ready for the first scene. The first scene has the student playing Lord Minamoto Raiko sitting on stage and Kaoru standing on stage as Hirai Yasumasa. The rest of the students are scattered around. All the students are dressed in simple kimonos. Everyone turns over to look at Keiji, who by comparison, is not ready at all.

Keiji feels embarrassed. He looks around. Ōemon is already there, also in a kimono. Seeing him, Keiji feels even more embarrassed.

Ōemon just smiles at Keiji.

Ōemon: “Go get into position, Endo-kun.”

Keiji: “Alright, alright.”

Keiji walks up to where Kaoru is standing. He looks around, confused.

Keiji: “Where do I stand?”

Kaoru has an annoyed expression.

Kaoru: “You’re not in this scene yet, idiot.”

Keiji: “Oh.”

Keiji gets flustered. He shuffles away to where some of the other students are sitting. He gets changed into his kimono and sits down with the other students.

Student playing Minamoto Raiko: “Kaoru, you sure you don’t need a script?”

Kaoru: “It’s fine. I’ve memorised all my dialogue.”

Keiji watches as the first rehearsal starts. The student playing Minamoto Raiko is reading off a script, but Kaoru isn’t.

The student next to Keiji elbows him.

Student: “Oi.”

Keiji: “What?”

Student: “You’re up.”

Keiji: “Hm? Oh. Oh!”

Keiji scrambles up to the stage. Everyone is looking at him. It is very awkward, and Keiji’s face is red.

Keiji: “Uh…let’s see…”

Keiji takes out his script. He turns through it, trying to find where he starts.

Kaoru takes the script from him and points to where to start reading. Keiji takes the script back. He gets ready to start speaking, only to pause.

Keiji struggles to read and pronounce the dialogue correctly. Everyone glares at him. Ōemon sighs.

Kaoru is getting very very annoyed.

Kaoru: “Can you not read Kanji?”

Keiji gets angry and defensive.

Keiji: “Shut up, it’s just stage fright.”

Keiji tries to read the script again, but he can’t even say his line. He stutters and panics.

Ōemon claps, getting everyone’s attention.

Ōemon: “Alright everyone, we’ll call it a day there. Go home and revise your scripts more, we’ll resume tomorrow. Keiji, you stay behind with me. We’re going to go through your lines one-on-one.”

The rest of the students all groan and get up to leave. They whisper amongst themselves.

Student 1: “Seriously?”

Student 2: “This is a waste of time.”

Student 3: “He’s dragging everyone down…”

Keiji tries to protest as the other students are already leaving the classroom.

Keiji: “C’mon, sensei, I can do this!”

Kaoru stands by the doorway. She is the last person left in the room other than Ōemon and Keiji.

Kaoru: “It’s one thing to screw yourself over, but you wasted everybody’s time. If you’re not serious about Kabuki, you should just quit.”

With that, Kaoru leaves, sliding the door shut with a loud bang. The moment Kaoru leaves, Keiji complains angrily to Ōemon.

Keiji: “Did you hear him, sensei? Who does he think he is? Going off about ‘Kabuki this’ and ‘Kabuki that.’ People like him should chill out and get a hobby.”

Ōemon frowns for the first time.

Ōemon: “Keiji.”

Keiji keeps going. He does not see Ōemon’s disappointed look.

Keiji: “You agree with me right, sensei?”

Keiji notices Ōemon’s expression of disappointment.

Keiji: “Sensei?”

Ōemon: “Endo-kun. I don’t care if you come late or don’t memorize your lines. You can put as little or as much effort into Kabuki as you’d like, but you will not stand here in this school and insult the passions of all the men who bled and cried for the thing they love.”

Keiji is shocked. He thought Ōemon understood him, but now he feels more humiliated than ever. After a moment of silence, Keiji runs out of the classroom.

Ōemon reaches out to him.

Ōemon: “Keiji!”

Keiji stands behind the closed door. He stands there, and he waits. He waits to see if Ōemon chased after him. He doesn’t.

Keiji has an angry yet hurt expression.