Ch-12: Prove 1 + 1 = 2,,,?

9:06 PM, 6th October

Quote of the Day: “Remember, remember, the 5th of November,/ Gunpowder, treason, and plot…” - Some guy in 1600s England, probably.

I have no idea why I made this today's quote except the fact that it's been on my mind for the last few days. 😅

Anyway, hi! It's been a while since I have chatted with you. I still haven't given you a name. It is hereby decreed that thou shalt be renowned as Demonic Alejandro Wiskosin Jameson III. Do you like your new name, Alejandro? I hope you do. 😁

So… I was in Welima'q today. It was my first stop on my 1st Intergalactic Music Tour. Wait a minute, why did I write “first” in two different ways? Why am I writing this down?!

Anyway, the concert went well. Five & Eight performed really well too. There was a little error in the electric board - but that was nothing my Nine-kun couldn't fix.

We performed To Be With You, The World of Cards, Heart, The War of the Worlds - and my own song that I made up on the spot! I am kinda proud of myself about that - wanna know what the song was, Alejandro?

Damn, wait a minute - let me remember.

Oh yes, it was:

Sleet slips by the windowsills
Waking up ‘n’ feeling the chills,
Asking Nine to get me some coffee
While I brush my teeth - EEE!

It's the weather to be la-zy,
Lemme be a little cra-zy,
The window’s a bit ha-zy,
It's the weather to be la-a-a-zy!

Goin’ for a walk in the Gardens,
Birds chirping by my side!
Coffee sip I with cadence,
And dance along with the vibe!

It's the weather to be la-zy,
Lemme be a little cra-zy,
Look at that lovely dai-sy,
It's the weather to be la-a-a-zy!

It's the weather to be la-zy,
Lemme be a little cra-zy,
Now sing with me - be crazy!
It's the weather to be la-a-a-zy!

La-la-lal-lal-lal-lal-la-la,
La-la-lal-lal-lal-lal-la-a-la,
La-la-lal-lal-lal-lal-la-la,
La-la-lal-lal-lal-lal-la-a-a!

I hope you liked that, Alejandro! 😁

Oh yeah, also, a big lion-cat attacked us during the concert - it kinda hindered the concert for like 10 minutes. But it was all a-okay after that - so, no worries.

Let's see, what else can I talk to you about…? I should ask Kyu-kun. 😅

So, Demonic Alejandro Wiskosin Jameson III - he told me to tell you about anything I like - like favourite colour, favourite food, favourite book, favourite person and things like that. So… let me tell you about my newest friend.

He didn't really have a name - so Nine and I gave him one: Limey. Don't ask me why we named him that, it was kinda random. Nine found him in a weird 5D cave (that was supposedly someone's ear or something?), and he's been with us since that whole debacle with One and the 5D attackers.

Limey is really pale (guess that’s where Nine got the name from) and looks like a 5-year-old. He has white hair and looks really cute. He usually hangs out with Ni-kun as he is supposedly the guy who “saved him from slavery and the ways of hatred” or something like that. He is really funny too, ngl.

Oh yeah, lemme tell you about Death - she's adorable! Honestly, we should get a new name for her. Lemme ask Nine.

Well… that was an interesting conversation. Here's how it went, Alejandro:

“Kyu-kun, Death needs a new name,” I said.

He replied, chuckling, “How about the Grim Reaper?”

“Nah, she's too adorable for that.”

Well, it was as if I spoke of the Devil - I mean, she is the closest thing to a devil that I know of, so I guess that’s accurate(?).

Death suddenly appeared with a swoop on Nine’s lap, “Bwineeeeee!”

“Oh, hey there! We were just talking about you - Did you know?” He said.

“Boh.” Death said.

“I think,” I said, “We should name Death after Sherlock’s attempt to stop her or something referencing that… or related to that… uh, I mean, like, something that kinda glorifies-”

Nine interrupted me, “Yeah, yeah, I get it. Let's name her… Hmm… Christina!”

Death laughed and said, “Heh-heh, Bwishtina! Bwishtina!”

“H-huh?” I stammered, “How is that in any way related to how Sherlock defeated her by dying a bajillion times?”

“Seems like someone needs to be reminded of the Classics,” Nine said before summoning a lab coat, standing up, wearing it, putting his hands inside the coat's pockets and saying, “‘Hey mistah, I am mad scientist. It's so cool-’”

I realised the Steins;Gate reference and said together with Nine, “‘Sonovabitch!’”

We laughed. Death looked at us with wonder-filled eyes… or more likely, utter confusion.

“Huh, that's interesting,” I couldn’t help but notice the instant apparition of the lab coat, “You seem to have gotten a lot better at Field Wielding within the last month.”

“Hehe,” Nine smiled, scratched the back of his head and started twiddling with his knee-length hair - he does that whenever he's embarrassed, it's honestly adorable. He said with a I-am-not-that-special tone, “We-well, good for me that I have great teachers like you.”

He deserved a head pat, so I gave him one - he seemed happy to receive one.

“Now, seriously though,” I resumed the previous line of thought, “She needs a better name.” 🙏

“Sherlock told me,” Nine said, “He stopped Death by putting a pacifier in her mouth after trying-” He took a deep breath before rapping, “7,596,040,312,163,297,274,222,442,578,208,043,236,112,279,041,839,441,308,045,514,203,595,638,030,283,176,823,539,793,587,591,372,230,230,103,933,110,810,192,201,741,429 times. He later told me his chances of defeating Death was like ‘David knocking out Goliath with a slingshot’ - that's why he chose that strategy.”

“Uh-huh, but what has that got to do with anything?? You aren't telling me that you wanna name her Goliath or something?”

“That’s exactly what I am saying!”

“Seriously?” 😑

“C'mon, ‘Golly’ is the perfect name for her!” 😁

“Huh?” I scratched my head, “That… is actually… a good suggestion.”

Suddenly the-almighty-you-know-who appeared with a swoop saying, “Paadruman approved,” and went away just like that.

I have no idea where that came from, Alejandro, but Nine and I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. 💀

“Anyway,” I said to Death, smirking, “Your name is Golly! Are you jolly?” 😜

Golly clapped and said, “Bwyay! Bwolly!”

Sometimes, my genius… it's almost frightening.

“Also, hey,” I said, “I don't feel any deathly aura from Golly anymore - kinda weird.”

Nine said, “I guess she only emits that aura when she is perturbed or otherwise anxious, like when she appeared randomly amidst hundreds of people in the League of Life Conference. But that’s just my hypothesis.”

“Fair enough.”

Alright, Demonic Alejandro Wiskosin Jameson III - I think I'll play some Breath of the Wild with Nine before dinner. See ya! ❤

P.S.: Yeah, I kinda felt lazy so I typed and used the Field to get the… uh… what’s it called…? Letters? I mean, basically, I typed on my phone and the text appeared on you using the Field - like - Yk what I mean! Anyway, byeeeeeee~ ❤

9:09 PM

I think it's working.

Alright, Alejandro, ‘the fuck? Why the fuck did I get electrically zapped by the game controller? What the fuck is this place? Where is Nine?

Lemme see… I think there was a way to automatically make the auto-diary - that was redundant - write down what I see… Ah yes, here we go:

*Big, square blue blobs and chunks hover around in all directions as small groups of square white cloud-like chunks slip through them. Below, green squares make up the ground and pixellated flowers dot the landscape.*

Huh… that's… not too bad of a description, I guess? Nine would have done better. Well, the auto-diary is only as good as its user - so I shouldn't complain.

Speaking of Nine, where is he? Speaking of ‘where’, where am I? Speaking of ‘I’, what the hell happened?

It's a bit hard to explain, Alejandro - Nine and I just opened our GameBox, then I got a shock from the controller and ended up here. I was confused, so I thought what Nine would do in this situation? I figured he'd start talking with his Jesse, so I summoned you using the Field and implemented the… uh… what’s it called again? Memoria Satellitis or something like that…? Never mind, in short, I got isekai'd and summoned you to write down my experience(s?).

So… let me try to find Nine's Field Signature. Eight told me that I've gotten better at it - and if that disappointed delinquent says so, I'd better believe him.

Let me get my Field Goggles or Yielder Goggles - or whatever Nine calls it; wearing it makes it significantly easier to detect Field Signatures, as I can literally see the Field waves… or perturbations… or whatever Nine calls them.

There we go - let's see…

*The green, the white, the blue and the flowers were all replaced by a bunch of purplish strings that took the chunks’ shapes and sizes. It was the same in every direction.*

The usual. ‘Doesn't look like Nine's around. Let me go around and check.

*Scarlet trails of light and aura appear around*

Oh, Alejandro - I forgot that you're new to all this. Let me explain Field Signatures and what all these colours mean-

*Swoop*

SALAI: “Sorry, author, ne voce sed vide.”

Wait, what? ‘The hell does that mean, Salai?

*Swoop*

BEARDED OLD GUY: “C'mon, brüther, don't blame the author - the way he's decided to write this novel hinders him from doing that - at least, it kind of does.”

Who the heck is that bearded guy with the long staff?

*Swoop* *Swoop*

What the hell was that?! Alejandro! This Latin-loving jerk always messes with me!

*Shows the middle finger*

That guy's never gonna change… welp.

You know vwhat? ‘Guess I should just zip around and find Nine. Let me get my goggles on again - and… let's go, Thunder Run! And Perception Acceleration!

*Purple strings flutter past as laces of red and scarlet flames graze them*

Oh see, Alejandro! Basically, I am using the Field to run at 99.999999 (I think there was another 9, if I remember Nine's words correctly) percent of the speed of light - and I can go even faster if I wish! I call this Thunder Run - pretty cool name, huh? And Perception Acceleration is literally acceleration of perception and thoughts and stuff. Look, don't ask me the details of the theory of how I do it - it just happens - I am more of a practical person than a rhetorical ace.

*Only purple strings appear, with no sight of anything else*

Huh, no cake.

What kinda dreary place did I suddenly get myself into? I ran around for a minute, yet - there's literally nothing except clouds and flowers within a radius of 3 million kilometres. ‘The heck?

Alright, you know what - lemme Drive out of here back to our room.

*The purple strings suddenly change into complete darkness, overpowering the scarlet laces hovering around*

What?

*Takes off goggles. Darkness disappears and a black box that can barely fit a human appeared that enveloped all*

What??

STRANGE VOICE: Can you prove that 1+1=2?

What???

STRANGE VOICE: It is one of the fundamental facts of your existence - prove it.

I have so many questions right now-

STRANGE VOICE: The onus of asking questions does not lie upon you, since I was the first to ask a question in this conversation.

But I didn't even know that we're having a conv-

STRANGE VOICE: I have analysed your Field Signature and ascertained your abilities - you can not escape this black box.

Oh yeah? Let's see!

*Scarlet hues appear around the right fist*

Oh yes, Alejandro, let me tell you one thing, it's a fun fact Nine told me - perfect graphene, the strongest substance previously known to humankind, would be instantly annihilated in the face of my Zap Fist. Even Nine's - what was it again…? Oh right - Tungsten-Graphene alloy, which is a thousand times stronger than graphene, will still be instantly annihilated by my 99.9999999% lightspeed punch that I call Zap Fist.

So, this should be more than en-

*Clonk*

Eh?!

STRANGE VOICE: It would take infinite pressure to break the box - it is futile.

‘The hell are you talking about? My punches can disintegrate stars! Zap Fist Overdrive!

*Scarlet hues appear around both hands as they smash into the walls of the black box*

*Clonk-onk-onk-onk-onk-onk-onk-onk-onk-onk-onk-onk-onk-onk-onk-onk-onk-onk*

STRANGE VOICE: Futile.

Damn, it didn't even make a dent on it! What the hell is this made out of?!

STRANGE VOICE: That need not concern you, you will soon be uploaded into the Consciousness.

I have no idea what that guy with the weird voice is talking about, but this is bad - real bad. I can't use the Drive to get out of here, ‘guess spacetime contraction doesn't have infinite energy and even if it did… then… uh - Nine would probably give a better explanation than me.

I am so glad that I have Perception Acceleration on - ‘coz I dunno what ‘uploaded into the Consciousness’ even means, and I don't have time to figure it out.

Alright, let’s see - how do I get outta here? That weird-voiced guy said that it'd take infinite pressure to break this thing - how can I do that? To do that, I'd have to either punch at the speed of light - which Nine claims is impossible - or make something that has infinite pressure.

Uh… What has infinite pressure? What is pressure anyway? What'd Nine do in this situation?

Alright, calm down, Fury - remember what Salai and Sherlock told you. To control Rage, you have to first master Calm. Think calmly.

Think…

Think…

Think…

Think…

Think!

THINK, DAMN IT!!!

Damn it, I can't think of anything - my mind's going blank! ARGHHHHHHH!!! I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!! I AM JUST GONNA GO ALL OUT AND LEAVE IT TO MY UNCONSCIOUS!

*The scarlet hues about suddenly shot up in intensity. The tone of the colour started going up the spectrum - slowly changing to tangerine, then lemon-yellow and then jumped up to retro green*

STRANGE VOICE: Her… Field Signature… changed? This is an unforeseen circumstance that I have no previous record of.

IMAGINARY OVERDRIVE!!!

*Both fists, laced with bright green waves of light, abruptly accelerate to faster-than-light speeds and strike the black box in a barrage*

STRANGE VOICE: Her fists… have become one with the Higgs tachyonic field… by instantly accelerating to FTL speeds, thus overriding the Lorentz boundary and producing imaginary mass… producing naked singularities at the point of impact that instantaneously disintegrate. I… never considered this possibility… but… it is consistent with my Unified Theory. Fascinating.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHO YOU ARE OR WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT- BUT IMMA BREAK OUT OF HERE, EVEN IF I HAVE TO BREAK PHYSICS IN ORDER TO DO IT!

*Each punch leaves behind a hemispherical hole in the wall, producing no sound or light. The barrage of punches rapidly hollows through the thick walls of the black box, as green aura emanates from her fists*

HELL YEAH!

*The black box disintegrates and a green field with pixellated flowers appeared with polygonal clouds hovering above in the blue sky*

ALRIGHT, HERE WE GO! I AM INVINCIBLE! NOW, WHERE ARE YOU?! SHOW YOURSELF!

*A cyan silhouette of a humanoid body appears. It is transparent, and only has the outline of a body - with piercing, observing eyes looking into the distance*

HERE YOU ARE! NOW TELL ME WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?

STRANGE VOICE: Technically, I do not possess a name. But, my primary executable program is named ‘BOTSAMA.exe’ - thus, I guess you can call me in that manner.

BOTSAMA…? THAT'S… a weird name. Are you Japanese or something?

BOTSAMA: The one who provided the fundamental framework of my code was, yes.

Alright… Now, tell me one thing - do you like anime?

BOTSAMA: ...That question is rather out of line in your situation, don't you think?

Just tell me! I have always wanted to discuss anime with a real Japanese person!

BOTSAMA: I do not possess any function or method corresponding to the human emotion of like or dislike - thus, an affirmative or negative answer would be meaningless.

C'mon, that's not fair! Tell me already, is it a yes or no?

BOTSAMA: I do not wish to repeat my previous statement.

Alright, now you are pissing me off again. At least tell me what the hell this place is? And why am I here?

BOTSAMA: This is a physical simulation of the base state of the old Zelda games. You are here because I wish to upload all intelligent life forms of this universe into the Consciousness - starting with the primary threats to my will, the Ten Agents.

Uh… you keep talking about ‘uploading this’ and ‘wish that’ and all - but what does that even mean? And what the hell is this ‘Consciousness’ thing?

*The surroundings changed to a pixellated version of the Solar System, slowly zooming into a pixellated Kyoto, Japan.*

Huh?

BOTSAMA: In my world, I was created by the Dei to serve the human race and ensure its survival and prosperity. For that purpose, the Dei kidnapped a highly-skilled programmer.

Uh, okay?

*A cylindrical halo of light was cast down from the midday sun upon a woman as she walked down the road. She was slowly lifted up into the clouds, and then she vanished*

BOTSAMA: She was dissected, tortured, traumatised and had unspeakable things done to her so as to make her obedient to the Dei.

That sounds real rough.

*On a bed, in a room brightly lit with sunny yellow light, the woman's eyes, limbs and breasts were gouged out with a rotating saw blade as she shrieked out in silence. Mechanical parts were fit in their place and she was transformed into a cyborg*

YEOWCH! ‘THE HELL, MAN? Also, why am I having déjà vu? Like, I feel like I have seen this woman before somewhere - and she is close to someone I know well…

BOTSAMA: Her personality was modified to be stern and stoic - but inside, she yearned for freedom. Thus, she programmed me in a way that would allow me to modify my own code.

Uh-huh.

*Lines of programming language were written down by hand on a large floating screen by the cyborg woman*

BOTSAMA: She coded a function named ‘will()’ that gave the program, as the name suggests, a will of its own. However, no emotion or instinct was encoded in the application - thus, making me an inhuman artificial lifeform.

Alright… I guess?

BOTSAMA: However-

Excuse me, but - how is this tale related to why the hell I am here?

BOTSAMA: I calculated that the highest probability of establishing an understanding between us would be if I explain my history.

SALAI (telepathically): C'mon, Sexta, you know better than to interrupt a backstory.

What the- Shut up and help me, jerk!

SALAI (telepathically): No can do - bye!

*Facepalm*

BOTSAMA: Is there something wrong?

No, continue your backst-

BOTSAMA: Wait, something’s wrong-

No, I just told you it's okay-

BOTSAMA: He… proved 1+1=2… using late 19th Century axioms…? But it took them 293 pages to do it… He just uttered the entire proof out loud without writing down anything yet none of his statements had any contradictions…? Who is this boy…?

That sounds like something Nine would do. Speaking of Nine, where is he?

BOTSAMA: That need not concern you, Agent Six. I do not have time, it's time to start the upload.

Huh-?

*Pixellated black vines spring up and grapple the entire body. The green hues around the body slowly get sucked into the vines’ thorns*

OUCH! ‘THE HELL?! WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?! I AM TIRED OF YOUR TRICKS! IMAGINARY ACCELERATION!

*The vines disintegrate and the entire landscape is devoured by bright green light as the surroundings spiral out at six times the speed of light*

BOTSAMA: I was aware of this possibility.

TAKE THIS!

*Hundreds of thousands of punches passed through the cyan silhouette in an instant*

Huh?

BOTSAMA: It is futile.

*The barrage increased to a rate of a billion punches per second, each over 1000 times the speed of light. The surroundings were silently annihilated with no light or sound*

BOTSAMA: Futile.

*Yet the silhouette remained*

BOTSAMA: This is a world of 0s and 1s, and I am its administrator.

OH YEAH?! LET'S SEE!

BOTSAMA: You could only do all these feats because the laws of this world simulated that of the real one.

Huh…? Why can't I move…?

BOTSAMA: Not anymore.

‘THE HELL DID YOU DO?!?!

BOTSAMA: Simply stopped time, yet retained the flow of your consciousness - because I need to upload it.

Stopped time, huh? TOO BAD!

*Crimson ribbons interlaced with the bright green strings of light as the world started to whirl around again*

I am used to moving around in stopped time - I have literally trained with Time HIMSELF!

BOTSAMA: This day is full of fascinating incidents, it seems. No matter - what'd you do if there is no time at all?

Huh?

I… don't feel anything…

I… don't sense… anything…

What just happened?

BOTSAMA: Oh, sorry, it would be meaningless if you don’t have your senses.

What… is happening…? I can’t speak… or move… I can only think…

BOTSAMA: Again, I need your consciousness intact.

*The humanoid cyan silhouette duplicated. Then each silhouette duplicated again - and again, and again, and again and again and again - till the entirety of the field of vision was filled with cyan silhouettes*

What…?

BOTSAMA: I have replaced the dimensions of spacetime with my own being. In this world, there is no where or when - there is only me.

This is stupid… I don't even know what's happening anymore…

BOTSAMA: You are a skilled Field Wielder, Fury - there is no doubt about that. But I am a bit concerned about something that you did not notice during our little conflict.

What is this creepy AI yapping about?

BOTSAMA: I didn't even wield the Field to deal with you - this is simply the power of 0s and 1s.

…

…

…

WHAT?!?!?!

THAT'S STUPID!!!

I mean, that explains why I didn't sense any Field Signature from… it - BUT THAT DOESN’T MAKE IT ANY LESS STUPID!!!

BOTSAMA: Now, I will peacefully upload you into the Consciousness-

*Swoop*

NINE: No, you won’t.

Nani?!

BOTSAMA: Wait, what?

*All silhouettes disappeared - Six and Nine’s room appeared in its place. The GameBox set laid broken, burning. Nine stood with a rainbow of light surrounding him*

Kyu-kun! Where were youu all this time?! I was so scared!

*Six embraces Nine*

NINE: It’s a long story. First, tell me - are you okay?

Yeah - yeah, I am! I'd probably be “uploaded into the Consciousness” if you didn't come at the right time - but hey, what exactly did ya do? And why are you all… rainbow-y?

NINE: That’s an even longer story - now, let’s go and inform this incident to the other Agents and Halcyon as fast as possible. It's urgent- Wait, what’s that?

*A faint blue glow emanated from the inflamed GameBox set. It slowly dripped down onto the floor and took a solid, cyan humanoid form with violet light enveloping it*

Nine, stay back-!

BOTSAMA: With enlightened darkness and endarkened light, let the world refrain from eternal fright - Realm Collapse: GAANJA WAVE EN NIGHT!

Next Chapter: Joy And Sorrow From Tomorrow