This Is What Matters

I still didn't like returning here. Once I went into the throne room, I could feel the gaze of everyone on me once more. But I wouldn't back down again.

The queen looked at me, as stone-faced as before. I couldn't interpret her expression. Was she angry? Disappointed? Or did she simply not care?

But Nela was next to her, and she looked relieved. That was all that mattered. I kept her in my focus, and gave her a small smile. And Nela smiled back at me.

I bowed. I was sure that it was the right thing to do, or at least something not to offend the queen.

"I'm sorry I have taken so long," I finally said.

The last bit of chatter died down. Only my words echoed through the hall. My heart was pounding, but I kept my gaze fixed on Nela. Her mask was still in place, but the tiny smile on her face seemed genuine. It was enough to keep me going.

"I have to be honest. I spent the last few months trying so hard to learn everything, only to screw up today." I hated to admit that, but that fact was clear to see for everyone.

"But I don't think these mistakes should define my worth, or my love for Nela. In the last few months, not only have I learned much about this place, but we have grown closer."

It wasn't easy letting myself to be this... vulnerable. I still wanted to sink into the earth, to flee from these judgmental gazes. But I kept going on.

"I love Nela. That is something I realized along the way. When she summoned me, we only knew each other as friends, who spent their evenings together without the ability to talk to each other."

At that, I could see the queen glare at Nela, who twitched, and for a moment, there was a shadow of guilt on her face. Did her mother not know about her gaming habits?

"At first, I was confused. I was happy, too, to leave my life behind. To leave the pain behind, and just enjoy the time with Nela."

The queen didn't react. But that didn't matter.

"When the question of marriage came up, I was confused, of course. I lacked the words to talk about it. But I knew I wanted to help Nela, in which ever way possible.

That's why I agreed, originally. But then the training started, and..."

I couldn't help but let out a small laugh.

"It was horrible. Excruciating. I suddenly had to get up early, learn the language, learn the rules, learn to dance—all things I had never bothered with before. My head was spinning. The days blurred into each other. It was horrible.

And yet, it also gave me a chance I never had before. I got to connect, not only with Nela, but make friendships I never thought possible. They didn't judge me for my mistakes—or, well, they did, but they never held them against me. It just meant they pushed me harder, to help me become better."

At that, I glanced at Ulfret. He only turned his head slightly, but it was enough of a confirmation. I soldiered on.

"I spent more time with Nela. We could finally talk. I learned so many things about her, while also opening up myself. It wasn't easy, but I think it was something we both benefited from.

And with each passing day, the feeling deepened that I didn't want to let her go. I love her. I love her smile, her eyes, the way she talks, her morning sleepiness, the way she fights. There are so many aspects of Nela I was able to see, and it only made it more clear for me that I want to see even more of her in the future."

My heart was racing at these words. And I could see they had an effect on Nela, as well. She wasn't crying—but it was the first time ever I saw her fight this much with her mask in place. She was shaking, but only barely.

"I'm here to prove myself," I continued, "But I know that I failed. I won't ask for another chance. There are people that can attest to my learning these last few months. You should be able to hear it, as well."

Sure, I never quite got the accent right, but my words were clear and easy to understand. Even though it was only three months since then, my understanding had grown deeper and deeper.

The queen didn't react.

"What I, personally, think is more important-" and that was the part that could be tricky, since I felt it could be seen as rude to the queen, "- is talking to the one that matters most to me.

Nela."

I looked at her, really looked at her. She was stunning. Even in our day-to-day life, she was beautiful, and cute, and wonderful, but tonight she looked even more graceful and elegant than usual. And she was smiling at me.

Her mask was cracking, and I could see all kinds of emotions swirl behind it. I just hoped she would excuse my attempt at breaking it even further.

I went over to her, through the room. There were others, yes—but they didn't matter. The queen didn't matter. It was as if a spotlight shone down on Nela, accentuating her features. She was glowing, and she looked so, so beautiful.

My heart was racing. This was the right thing.

"I know, this is a day to celebrate your culture," I continued. "We worked hard for this. I'm sorry, I couldn't get through the dance without stepping on your foot."

She let out a small snort at that. "Don't mention it," she whispered.

"But I hope, I really hope, we will have more chances to properly dance," I continued, and went down on one knee before her.

In my pocket, the ring box felt reassuring.

"This is an engagement party," I said. "I've already said enough, and maybe even too much. But there is something I want to do."

With those words, I finally took out the ring box and opened it. The golden bug glittered in the light.

"In my world, it is customary to give a ring to the one you wish to marry," I explained. "It's a sign of my commitment. So, Nela... will you marry me?"

The words hung in the air. Surely, something around us was happening, but really, I didn't care what it was. What mattered was her reaction.

"I... didn't know they had such a pretty, ring," she muttered. "You should have said something!"

"H-huh? It was meant as a surprise!"

"I know!" She sobbed. "I know! And now I'm not prepared!"

Her mask broke. Her face showed her full range of emotions—there was surprise, and happiness, and tears. Her smile was quivering, but bigger than it had been all day long. It was real. Her face was blushed red, all up to the tips of her ears.

"Of course I want to marry you," she said. "That's why we're doing this!"

"I'm glad to hear it."

I stepped forward, and gently took her hand. "Then, let me put on the ring."

I was shaking. She probably felt it as I took her hand, and gently slid the ring on her finger. Nela nodded at me, and looked as if she was ready to kiss me.

I was ready to kiss her.

The queen stood up.