Gift

Me, go to Rastron? They can’t be serious. I’m just a Speaker, sometimes one goes, but it’s not common. That was the Priest’s responsibility. My role was supposed to be rather limited, especially if we run out of ideas. The only time I know of Speakers traveling was if they’re highly regarded in deciphering Ministra’s word that they’re necessary. More commonly, the local Speaker where the meeting took place would join instead.

But this was a clear message. That’s what the stare was all about. Damn them.

Rastron? I don’t even think I know how to find the town. It was roughly to the east as far as I knew. And if I followed the road, I guess it would take me there eventually. I didn’t even know how far away it was. It might have been a day or was it two. Did I have to camp out? I’ve never done that before. At least alone.

Father did take me out a couple of times during hunts, but I was a child and the hunters took care of everything. What would I do? Are they just sending me off to die? Ministra give me strength!

Mother grabbed me with a smile on her face. I couldn’t stop the shaking, but she just misread it all. What can I say now? “This is wonderful, Eshikra! This is everything you’ve ever wanted!”

“I’m so proud of you.”

Dammit, father, mother. They’ve all trapped me into this. My blood boiled enough that I forgot some of my anxiety. I squeezed back my mother's hand and stepped away. Cathlin watched me, keeping up the façade still. “It’s all happening very quickly. We still have some things to discuss, if you would?”

“Yes! You’ve got to prepare! I’ll make sure you don’t leave hungry!”

While we all waited for them to leave, I continued to get side glances from all of them. They really just committed to Cathlin’s interpretation of Ministra’s prophecy. Was it just to keep unity or did they actually believe the same as him? I guess it didn’t matter anymore.

Once spared of the extra eyes, I stepped back a couple to get some room. “This is your answer?”

“Ministra’s words must still be solved. The confusion caused by a surface level read would only sow panic and fear. It would rob us of what is our strength. The unity to reach the answer as a people.”

“And honesty doesn’t have a place in unity?”

“You will go to Rastron and confirm with Priest Hadrin Ministra’s words and seek the clarity of what She wishes us to do to stop this Termination.”

“What if they have a different interpretation?”

“They won’t, he is a faithful child of Ministra. They will have seen between Her words as I have. There is an answer that eludes us. You may think me cruel, but this is your role now. Find the answer to Her final prophecy, join in the reason and logic that we will rise from.”

Pretty words for someone that was terrified such a short time ago. I don’t get any of this. How can he be so certain now? I’ve read the past prophecies as much as him. Her words are something that I’ve engraved into my heart and mind. Why are we seeing differently?

What did Priest Hadrin decide with their Speaker? What’s become of Rastron if they told the words to everyone? Could I understand the elder’s meaning if I saw something more. Maybe this trip would be useful? It would only be a few days or a week, depending on how long it takes to reach an answer on the Termination. If they were in agreement with Cathlin. I wouldn’t be away for long. Perhaps this is a blessing.

“Each Speaker is different, even if they agree they may have spread Her word. Trade will bring it here in time.”

“Rumors happen all the time, they’ll believe us. You just focus on finding an answer for us, Speaker.”

I ground my mouth closed. There wasn’t going to be a way out of this. I had to accept what they did and pray that Ministra looked after everyone still. Even if we didn’t have Her word, She should still watch until the end, right? We wouldn’t be abandoned. No, I can’t think that. She wants the best for all of us. That’s why She gives us Her word every year. I can’t let doubt into my heart.

Roughly accepting my fate, I nodded to them and departed. I think father might have been to Rastron before or probably spoke with a trader. He should know what I’m in for with this trip.

Outside of the temple, the road already divided up into smaller clusters of the village. I could only hear the low murmurs between people without knowing what they said. From just their faces, a general confusion still seemed to be hanging about them. The lack of a clear message from Ministra probably didn’t sit well with them even if they didn’t notice it. It seemed to be something that they felt. Could the Priests keep the village clueless, truly?

Did I even want them to do that? Would they be better knowing? The way I or Cathlin felt, that would be spread through everyone. How would they all react? Cathlin was a rational man, far more than I realized. But not everyone was like him.

What do I do?

“Eshikra!” My feet took me home without even noticing. And mother called out from the window. I snapped out of my thoughts and turned. Keeping out of the flower bed, I could smell the warm comfort of her pie and the slow roasting meat. I’m going to miss this.

“Mother…I…” Thoughts of Cathlin and Ministra mingled in my head. They locked up my words once more. I could only bite my lip as I couldn’t find an answer still.

“Your father’s putting together one of his old packs for you. I cleaned it up and dressed it with Thassal essence for the road. You wouldn’t believe how excited he is. I caught him already chatting to Gregsel and Narma about you. I haven’t seen him this proud since the day you were made Speaker.”

I tightened up my hands feeling pangs in my heart. The smile and joy on her face was breaking me just watching it. The words bubbled up again, but choked in my throat still. I fought to give her a fake smile back. She just kept seeing my anxiety for something else. Dammit. They won’t know. They don’t understand.

“Eshikra!” I jumped hearing my father coming out from the back. He hefted a large looking pack, though it seemed small in his arms, but if I was going to wear it’d be large. She did say it was one of his old ones. Would this even stay on me?

But mother was right. There was an energy to his step that even I could see. He nearly glowed with excitement. The pack in his arms almost seemed like a present for me. I was never going to be a hunter, but I wonder if he had held out for the son they never had?

He turned it around showing me the shoulder straps. It had thick leather and even a little detail stitched into the sides in the form of waves. “This is what I used when I was your age as a hunter! When I went out into the forest with my father. I brought in the straps a bit for you, but you can tie it across your torso if it slips. I slept with it in the rain and snow, shared it with the dogs and wolves. It’ll keep you safe.”

I looked around at my ceremonial robes that I still wore. This was not travel wear and I don’t think I could carry the pack with me like this. The long dress robes were heavy and not easy to move in. My mind had been so caught in the day and Ministra’s word I might as well been naked for as much as I noticed them. But now they felt blistering hot and itchy, were they always this uncomfortable?

Returning a smile to him, I think I managed a better one feeling his warmth. “Thanks. This is all new for me.”

“Let’s have a midday meal and I will teach you what you need to know. Rastron isn’t far, but it’s best to be prepared. This will be the first time you go alone.”

“First time? I’ve never been to Rastron.”

“I guess you don’t remember, you were quite young, but we visited for the Stella Festival fifteen years ago. It’s a beautiful seaside town. Come, I’ll tell you all about it!”

Walking inside the house with father, for the first time in the last hour my heart actually seemed to be slowing down. Home was still a comfort. I saw mother serving up a big plate of pie along with rabbit stew.

Maybe Cathlin was right? I need to find an answer to the Termination. For them.