Choosing a Path

The bonfire crackled in the cool night air, sending sparks spiraling into the sky. The group had gathered at the edge of the lake, bundled in jackets and blankets, watching the flames dance. The smell of burning wood mixed with the faint hint of marshmallows roasting on sticks. It was a perfect way to end the week, but Jess felt anything but settled.

Jess watched the flames lick the sky, bright and hungry. She wondered if that was how memory worked. Do we burn the past for warmth, even if it leaves us colder.

Everything felt like it was supposed to be working—new routines, new people, even new joys. And yet, deep beneath it all, a hollow space remained. Like she was standing in for someone else. Like she was a guest in her own skin.

She sat on a log near the fire, staring at the envelope in her hands—the sorority acceptance letter. She had carried it around all week, folding and unfolding the edges, running her fingers over the embossed crest as if it would somehow reveal the answer to her dilemma. Every time she held it, she imagined some other version of herself—one that fit the mold, smiled easily, never questioned whether she belonged. But that person wasn’t Jason, and Jess still didn’t know who she was without him.

Kevin nudged her with his elbow. "You look like you're about to sign your life away to a cult."

Jess let out a small laugh, but it felt strange even in her own ears and quickly faded. "I don’t know what to do."

Leanna, wrapped in a thick wool blanket, shifted beside her. "I think the real question is, what do you want?"

That was the problem. Jess didn’t know. She felt as if she was standing in her own personal crossroads. She half expected a demon to come and make her a deal.

"I mean, the sorority would be a fresh start," Olivia chimed in. "A whole new experience."

"Yeah, but would it be me?" Jess asked. "I've spent the week trying out all these new things—rowing, diving, track, board games, knitting—and I actually liked some of them. But moving into the sorority would mean giving up our apartment. Giving up… all of you."

Hannah tilted her head. "But do you think holding onto us means you're holding onto Jason?"

Jess's breath caught. The question settled in her chest, heavy and unshakable. Was she afraid to let go of the past.

She had pushed herself this week, trying everything from rowing in the early hours of the morning to nearly backing out of diving when she realized she had a fear of heights. She had enjoyed the game club more than she expected, getting lost in strategy and creativity. Knitting, despite Kevin’s teasing, had been oddly soothing. And track? Running felt freeing in a way she hadn’t experienced before.

"So, what did you like best?" Leanna asked, pulling her from her thoughts.

Jess took a deep breath. "Track and field, definitely. I love running, and the coach thinks I’d be a good heptathlete. I want to give it a shot. And… I really enjoyed the game club. Malifaux was fun, and I think I'd actually like painting the miniatures."

Kevin smirked. "So, nerd life it is."

She rolled her eyes. "And knitting. It was relaxing, okay?"

"Confirmed: Jess is now officially an old lady," Kevin teased, but there was warmth in his voice.

Jess laughed, but then her gaze dropped back to the letter in her hands. It felt like a symbol of everything she had been struggling with. The person she had been, the person she was becoming, the uncertain line between the two.

She looked up at the fire, then, before she could second-guess herself, she tossed the envelope into the flames. It curled and darkened, edges glowing before it crumbled into ash.

Silence settled over the group.

"Does that mean you've made your choice?" Olivia asked softly.

Jess swallowed hard. "I don't know."

Leanna reached over and squeezed her hand. "You don’t have to have all the answers right now. Just take it one step at a time."

Jess nodded, watching the last remnants of the letter disappear. Maybe she wasn’t choosing between her friends and a new future. Maybe she was just choosing herself.

Choosing herself was supposed to feel like freedom. So why did it feel like a trap?