When the Ground Falls Out, Who Will Take My Hand?

Cold water flowed down Hazuki’s neck and beneath his shirt as the snowflakes in his hair melted. Naoe was unconscious and turning purple. It seemed as though she had been there for hours. Hazuki knew he needed to get her inside. His propagation vials were back at the house. Desperate hope filled his mind as he reached above Naoe and broke the end of a branch from her tree.

“I’m sorry, Naoe,” he whispered as he opened the collar of her kimono very slightly and slid the branch below the fabric to be against her skin.

With that, he tried to hoist her up. It was harder than he planned. Her body was nearly lifeless, and his leg was weak on the best of days. Snow covered ground was certainly not helping. Hazuki’s fingers laced themselves under Naoe’s obi belt before hoisting her arm around his shoulder.

“Naoe. Naoe I need you to stand. Please stand!” Hazuki asked.

A small murmur came from her lips.

“I’m sorry, Hazuki. I’m sorry I couldn’t see you again,” she whimpered.

“Don’t say that! You’re going to be okay. I’m here now. You’re with me now,” whispered Hazuki as he tried to gain his balance.

Fear began to take hold of his mind as her lifeless body hung limply off his shoulder and nearly fell to the ground. Hazuki set his feet and forced himself to stand.

“Get up! God dammit get up Hazuki!” He growled to himself as he gritted his teeth to rise. After several seconds, his unsteady legs had managed to stand. Hazuki had to shift his cane to his weakened side so that his healthier limbs could focus on holding Naoe as he semi-dragged her along. The strain was immense. Each step was unsteady and clumsy as Hazuki cursed how weak his body had become.

Snow was falling even heavier now. Bitter cold bit at his hands and face. Naoe’s lips were nearly blue. Meters took minutes to pass and Hazuki felt his strength fading. Unseen ice met his cane and feet and before Hazuki could react, the two of them were falling down to the dirt and snow. Hazuki landed awkwardly and his bad leg let out a familiar nag of residual pain. It wasn’t terrible, but it hurt more than he wanted.

“You stupid fucking leg!! I hate you! I hate ALL OF YOU!!” Hazuki screamed out as his fingers instinctively clasped the wounded leg and held it for support. Tears formed in his eyes. Familiar stabs of weakness and self hatred broke into his thoughts as he pulled Naoe close and tried to force himself to stand.

“I FUCKING HATE ALL OF YOU!!!” Hazuki tearfully roared out into the silent white landscape.

It wasn’t directed at any one person or thing. It wasn’t fully sincere. It was merely the breakdown that had been building in his mind for some time.

!!!UOYFOLLAETAHGNIKCUFI

Reality crackled around him and the snow glitched black for a brief moment. Hate overtook desperation and gave Hazuki the strength he needed. He realized the last and most important reason he didn’t want to become the aeon. Somewhere deep in his heart of hearts, tucked far away in a place even he had almost forgotten, Hazuki had secretly imagined a future with Naoe. 

It didn’t matter what it looked like. It didn’t matter if they weren’t together as a couple, but instead existed on as friends. In that secret vault of thoughts that some might call hope, Hazuki had hoped for more time with her. Now that hope seemed doomed.

Either he would become the aeon and Naoe would fade, or she would die right here today. Rage won and Hazuki unleashed a scream towards the sky that carried the weight of heartbreak that only of a life full of broken dreams could hold.

Then her fingers were against his fist. His hands had clenched in fury when he screamed out, and now Naoe’s icy touch caused them to release and unclench. Hazuki’s gaze shot down to Naoe, but she was still seemingly unconscious. Still, her fingers were there, trying to connect with him. Hazuki banished his rage and reset his mind to the task. It was still quite a ways to go to reach the house.

As Hazuki struggled to lift Naoe, he missed the vehicle approaching through the heavy snow.

“Hazuki?!” Matsumoto called out from his small sedan.

Hazuki turned in desperation and elation to see his mentor. Thoughts of secrecy flew away in the snowfall and Hazuki made a desperate gamble.

“I was coming to check on the pipes. What on earth are you doing here?” Matsumoto called from his car window.

“Matsumoto! I need your help!!” Hazuki pleaded.

Matsumoto parked his car and was near Hazuki in seconds.

“What is wrong, Hazuki?” asked Matsumoto as he tried to comprehend the situation he had stumbled into.

Hazuki didn’t hesitate and prayed this did not end terribly.

“Matsumoto, I need you to trust me. I need you to carry something for me…” said Hazuki.

“Okay…” answered Matsumoto.

Hazuki inhaled. He didn’t even know if this would work, but urgency meant he couldn’t deliberate.

“Please, take hold right beside my hand. Brace yourself,” said Hazuki.

Matsumoto paused for a very slight instant, eyeing the empty space Hazuki was clinging to with such intensity. Slowly, his hand extended until it was beside Hazuki’s hand. His fingers extended and hit Naoe’s obi belt. Matsumoto’s eyes opened wide in shock.

“What on earth?!” he whispered.

“Please hold there! Help me move her to your car!” said Hazuki.

“Her?!” stuttered Matsumoto as they slowly made their way to the sedan.

Moments later Matsumoto was awkwardly laying Naoe’s unseen body into the backseat of his car as Hazuki climbed into the passenger seat.

“Hazuki? Whaaat?” was all he could muster.

“I’ll explain more in a bit. I’m going to have to explain a lot,” answered Hazuki as he thought of Arthur and Sayane waiting at home.

Tears ran down his face and Matsumoto noticed. Matsumoto paused to speak then settled on patting Hazuki’s shoulder as he set his transmission to gear.

They arrived at Hazuki’s home in minutes and Hazuki rushed to the car door to check on Naoe, who was still not moving.

“Hold on Naoe!” he said.

“Naoe? That’s ‘her’ name?” asked Matsumoto as he helped pull her invisible body forward.

“Yes. Grab here,” said Hazuki as he guided Matsumoto’s hesitant hands.

“Forgive my forwardness, ma’am,” said Matsumoto as he hoisted her onto his chest.

Hazuki was already unlocking the front door. To his horror, lights on in the living room told him Arthur was stil home.

“That you Hazuki?” Arthur called from another room.

Hazuki continued his desperate gamble.

“Arthur! I need your help immediately!” Hazuki begged from the door.

Arthur was there immediately. Shaving cream was still on half his face and he was shirtless from a fresh shower, but he didn’t stop. Hazuki’s voice was sincere.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Please come help us at the car!” Hazuki called as he turned back to join Matsumoto.

Arthur was outside in a second and flinched to the cold but didn’t stop. His eyes squinted in concern when he saw Matsumoto struggling with an invisible burden.

“Oh, thank goodness. A strong young man,” sighed Matsumoto, who was red in the face by now.

“What’s going on here?” asked Arthur as he tried to comprehend the surreal moment.

“This is my colleague. I need to to grab right here and help carry Naoe inside,” said Hazuki as he pointed to the area where he was holding Naoe.

There were stairs to enter the house and Hazuki knew Arthur would manage them faster than he would, especially while holding Naoe.

“Who is Naoe?!” asked Arthur as he moved to position.

The he felt Naoe.

“Whaaaaat is happening?” he blurted out as he braced.

“I have no idea. And lift!” said Matsumoto with a strained grin.

Hazuki kept his eyes on Naoe as the brought her body inside. Furniture was cleared and Naoe was set on the well-appointed chair that Hazuki had always enjoyed. Once she was in place, Hazuki turned to his helpers.

“Hazuki, what in the hell is going on?” Asked Arthur.

“I promise I’ll explain. But I need your help a little more first,” said Hazuki just as Arthur’s cellphone rang.

Arthur’s eyes widened and he arched his brows in bemused terror before answering.

“Hi dear!” he said as he answered Sayane’s call.

As Arthur tried to listen to Sayane, Hazuki was already rushing into the bathroom to grab towels. Matsumoto stood in the corner awkwardly looking at the home decor, trying to not have a panic attack.

Hazuki returned with several towels and began to pad off Naoe’s soaked kimono. It wasn’t enough. The fabric was wet through and through and towels would not dry the cold water away. Hazuki realized he needed to change her clothes immediately.

Into his room Hazuki went. There, he grabbed a shirt, jacket, and some sweatpants. He returned to the living room. Arthur was still on the phone. An idea stopped Hazuki and he rushed back to his room to glance at his altar for his grandparents. Hazuki’s mind sparked and he re-entered the living room towards Arthur.

“You said you held a ceremony for the house and for my grandparents when you moved here?” Hazuki asked Arthur.

“Hey sweetie, just a sec,” Arthur tried to say calmly.

He nodded to Hazuki.

“Sayane organized it. It was a local priest. He cares for a shrine near the park, actually,” whispered Arthur.

“Can you call him over here for an emergency?” asked Hazuki.

Arthur understood and nodded before returning to his call.

“Hey, Sayane, I need you to call the Shinto priest over to the house for an emergency. Like, now, if he can. And you should come home as well. Hazuki will explain when you both get here...”