Last’s Detective Agency
Glass is a big cauldron of races, animals, and other form of live. And in the very center of this cauldron, on a paved stone road, lay a body.
"M-meeat...smells like...meat," mumbled quietly, the motionless body lying there.
The body was so exhausted that it was lying on a very heated rock, which really made the poor creature's face begin to smell like barbecue.
In spite of this, people just simply walked around or stepped over this body.
"Hey, let me pass, or go die somewhere else, you're in the way," the big orc said menacingly. From where the body lay, it seemed even bigger, about 4 meters tall.
At this moment, the body suddenly came to life and jumped up, letting Orc pass.
Now that he stood up, he began to look more carefully at his surroundings and what was going on. It was a typical town, at least nothing unusual he did not notice.
"Um...excuse me, where am I? Because I had a little too much to drink last night and..."- he stopped and asked a stranger, while nervously laughing.
"What moons did you fall from? Or is your head fried Infi? You're in the capital of the kingdom of Hurstlake! God, don't they even teach you anything in schools anymore?" the stranger continued walking in his direction, grumbling.
"Am I supposed to know everything in the world? And if I asked you how much 2457-7 would you answer, huh?"- the creature thought to himself.
"Okay, so I sound like a man. Two legs, two arms, that's good too. Even though I said I had too much to drink, I can't actually remember what happened before today."
The creature tried to remember something, but realizing that attempts are meaningless, he decided to walk on, and stopped at one of the stores. Noticing his reflection, he decided to come closer and check his appearance.
"I look cute, but why is there one horn sticking out of me? Am I a unicorn or something? And so small? So I guess I'm an Infi, huh? Lowest demon class. Could be better.”
Realizing who he was, the demon looked at his hands. Unlike his skin, which resembled human skin, his palms were half-red.
"What it is."
The demon decided to lick his palm to see what that red thing was.
"It looks like blood. Is that my blood? No, it tastes like wiry soup, not iron, hardly mine. Maybe I ate fresh meat yesterday?"
After determining who he was and what was wrong with his hands, the demon decided to move on through the city.
"Hey, watch where you're going, dumbass!"
"You almost got our Bro dirty, do you even know who he is?"
The demon turned around at the voices coming from not too far away. Deciding to get closer and figure out what was going on, he saw a small red bird-like creature standing and three demonic gorillas crouching around it.
"Go ahead and apologize" one of the gorillas shouted.
"I-I'm sorry, I-I-I didn't see..." the little bird timidly tried to answer.
"Hey, hey. Why are three macaques crowding over a harmless little bird? You know she’s not a banana, right? Why don't the big boys play with a worthy opponent?" said the demon in the most delinquent way he could.
A few seconds later, all 3 gorillas laughed.
"Look at that infi! He thinks he's cool!"
"Who are you calling macaques, asshole? That's the first time I've ever seen such an arrogant lowlife. And we don’t eat bananas we eat Melons, Corns, pineapples….”- the Gorilla demon start to count things
“Every food you said is yellow, are you eating only yellow things?”- infi respond
"What makes you think you're a worthy opponent? Maybe im going to teach you a lesson. You know, since you're so brave, I'll let you strike first," said the gorilla, who was most likely the head of the gang.
Upon hearing this statement, the infi demon smiled sneeringly and wasted no time in rushing off. In just a few seconds he was next to his rival
"Quick..." said the ringleader.
While he was saying this, the demon had already slapped him in the face with the outside of his foot. All the while, the demon's smile never left his face.
"Quick, but very weak!" the gorilla took the demon's leg and hurled it rattling into the wall of the house, breaking a couple of crates nearby in the process.
"Let me show you what a real punch is."
Before he could stand up, the infi demon was struck by the hardest blow to the stomach. Though the demon didn't remember what had happened to him before this day, but he knew for a fact that he had never experienced such pain before. All of his insides felt like they had been squeezed by a metal press and were about to burst out.
The demon immediately collapsed helplessly.
"Hmm, and he was showing off, but he couldn't even take a simple punch. Let's go guys."
With these words, the gorillas left. A red bird came up to the exhausted demon.
"Thanks of course, but you'd better not get involved, or I'll be laughed at for infi trying to help me”- said the red bird and quickly walked away from the scene of the fight.
After a while, the demon was able to get up. He got fully up and limped out into what appeared is the center of the city. It was a huge square, with a beautiful fountain in the center, and a bunch of different coffee shops, restaurants, and stores decorated with the brightest colors imaginable, but despite all this beauty, there was only one person who didn't care about it all.
The demon walked forward, his head drooping, pondering something of his own.
"Heard that old geezer is finally going to retire soon."
"Do not call the demon king an old fart."
“I didn’t call him that, you just did.”
The demon stopped outside a small outdoor café, where two seemingly quite old, lizard-like women were sitting. It was their dialogue that the demon heard.
"What else to call it. The country has been in stagnation for who knows how long and nothing has changed for hundreds of years," one of the women continued.
"I wish there was a new election for demon king.”
"Sorry to interrupt you”- Infi interrupted their conversation.
Both women turned their heads toward the demon.
"But what election?"
"Huh?! How can you live here and not know about this?"- angrily shouted one of the laddies
"Calm down, even though he's infi, look how cute he is, maybe he forgot or just wasn't interested, huh?" said another one, smiling very unequivocally by looking in the direction of the infi demon, which made him pull away a little.
"The demon king resides at the very top of the capital, on the golden mountain."
The demon turned his head in the direction the woman was pointing. She was pointing to a large white castle that towered over the entire city. Some parts of the building were occasionally hidden by clouds. Then the demon realized that the city was many times larger than he thought. He was so immersed in his own thoughts that he did not notice the enormity of the city and its construction.
"Demon King is the title given to the strongest demon at the fifteen ministers' meeting. Demon King, a man capable of changing everything with one word, although our current fart must be deaf, since nothing changes"- sadly sighed the woman
"Stop saying nasty things about the king!"
"Calm down, stop nagging and defend the old man, I'm right," the woman looked at the demon again, though he had not the sweetest idea what they were talking and arguing about
"And you," turning to the demon again, "would you like to be a demon king?"
"Did you drink today or what? He's an infi, even if he wants it badly enough and begs all 42 gods, it won't work!"
"Nah, nah. I'm not interested in that kind of thing, I like to live my life more than doing something important and responsible for other lives. So, I'd say no," the infi demon replied.
"All infis like that! They don't want anything and just live," replied the grumpy lizard, that was always grumbling menacingly.
"You know, you're not only pretty, but you have your principles, so here's a couple of coins for your honesty. You're a little shabby, so I guess you haven't eaten or drank anything in a while. There's a good butcher shop nearby"-the woman took out a couple of coins and gave the demon.
"Thank you..." the demon said uncertainly and went in search of the butchery.
Unbelieving his good fortune that he would finally be able to eat, he went looking for a place.
"Maybe if I eat, I'll remember something," the demon muttered thoughtfully.
"Although, becoming demon king would probably be fun. Lots of booze, meat, girls, meat. Meat with girls, meat of meat, covered in meat sauce with meat stuffing."
Suddenly, the demon stopped.
"Wait, what if I am the demon king? I went out for cigars and never came back!" the demon thought with a completely serious face, as if he had just proved that 2+2 is 4.
As he pondered this, the demon noticed a sign with the word meat on it and immediately ran to the coveted spot, thinking that he was finally going to eat. If he had ever run fast, now he had definitely broken the world record. However, once in front of the door, he noticed a sheet of paper.
"Dear customers, as of today, we are switching over to a full vegetable menu. We no longer cook or sell meat.”- the sheet said.
The demon ripped the sheet and squeezed it very tightly.
"This world is completely rotten! It's decided, I’ll be a demon king for certain."