Chapter 1:

Sensei Am I a Light Novel Author Yet? XXX Climax

Sensei Am I a Light Novel Author Yet? XXX Climax

“The sky always bored me. Draped in clouds, awash in the blood red sunset, or painted blue from a previous day of constant rain. In all its forms, in all it’s various cosmetic differences. The sky… It always bored me. There are countless stories of young souls reaching towards the great blue yonder, hoping for a future that can wash away the sadness, loneliness and frivolity of the humdrum lives they see in front of them. The spring fountain of youth, the legendary tale of evolution and self actualization. Yet… to me, the sky represents none of that. Just a barrier, only reachable through the mind, through the imagination. I think that’s why I want nothing to do with it”

Haruta wrote those words down on a notepad during class in his seat adjacent to the window. He’d reconfigure a few words, and try to come out with a different tone, however those words that flowed within him always lead to the same conclusion. He was no stranger to the constant sting of apathy that plagued most boys his age, however, for him it was less a lack of concern for the world around him, but more a resentment brought on by his place in said world, and these bitter feelings reflected back as a stern and cold demeanour. The world was meaningless. Not because he couldn’t find his place within it, but because his place wasn’t what he felt it should be.

Holy fucking shit what the hell was all that, where the fuck is the anime shit, isn’t that what light novels are supposed to be? Like glorified screenplays for shitty anime? Ok, so, this kid doesn’t get why the metaphor of the sky is so prevalent, we get it, he’s a loner, we get it, he’s bored and a saddo, we get it. This is all so fucking ga-

Shut up, this is a real story, we’re getting to that.


“I’m home” Haruta moaned as he took off his shoes.

Haruta’s house was a small apartment in Shinjuku, a few miles away from the business center but right next to a bus stop. This made traversing the city a breeze for the boy, which was a pleasure because he’d often find himself struck with a bout of sharp annoyance from his singular parental unit. Unfortunately school was out and the arcades were closed so today he had to cohabitate.

“Did you get the bag of rice I asked for?” His mother said, whilst sitting indian style in the kitchen.

The inside of the apartment was awash in a mixture of anime art and occult imagery. It was clear there was no intent to shield any visitors from clocking the inhabitants as flaming otaku freaks. Haruta’s mother was a shaman, self proclaimed obviously, who made her due by conning old people with snake oil and physical therapy disguised as exorcism. Today she needed Haruta to engage in some actual magic, which she is surprisingly adept at.

“No, because we got rice last week, and there shouldn’t be any reason to buy more. I’m not gonna let you bankrupt us because you want more ingredients for your weirdo cultist bullshit” Haruta snapped back. “Also why are you sitting like that?”

“I had a signal from the spirits this morning. My period was supposed to be this week, yet I have no cramps, I feel a divine pregnancy coming along

Haruta glared at his mother with a look somewhere betwixt disgust and astonishment.

“I’m kidding, my period isn’t for another week, I did get a signal from the spirits though”

“Do fucking tell.” Haruta snarled.

“How many times have I told you to stop with the bad language, the neighbors will think you’re a delinquent”

“Like father like son, am I right?”

Haruta’s father had left the family when he was 12 years old. He raped a 15 year old high school student and had been sent to prison for 6 years. He pleaded not guilty on account of it having been consensual by all accounts, but his lawyer was the girl's father.. Once released from prison, he abandoned the family and hasn’t been heard from since. Haruta doesn’t know any of this however. His mother lied to him and said he ran away with a prostitute.

“What did the spirits even say anyway?” Haruta asked, while grabbing a bottle of mountain dew, and a can of beer from the fridge.

“I was shown a vision, of a far away land, where reality is as malleable as clay, and the very fabric of space time is naught but a tool to be twisted and bent to the will of those capable”

“So, you did LSD again?"

“Yes, but that’s not the point. I was actually moments away from summoning a portal to this world.” Haruta’s mother said, still sitting with her legs crossed, muttering incantations.

“So, let’s say I believed you, and this portal to this weird nether realm was real, what would that even do for you?” Haruta said while taking sips from his terrible alcoholic mixed drink.

“For me? Nothing. For you? Everything”

“Come again?” Haruta asked, with a puzzled expression.

At that moment, a golden ethereal circle appeared in the living room. Haruta’s mother’s incantations appeared to be working. The circle got bigger and bigger to the point where it consumed most of the room. Haruta walked towards the circle, half surprised, half impressed, and without warning, felt a heavy push from behind, knocking him into the circle, sending him spiralling into the magical portal.

“Have fun honey, take plenty of pictures, don’t worry I won’t sleep around too much while you’re gone.”


. . .

“The Sky always bor-”

“Bored you, yea you said that already.” Mika said, interrupting Haruta’s monologue.

It had been 87 years since that fateful day that Haruta was shoved into the magical portal. Despite this, he only had the appearance of having aged 2 years. Haruta’s journey had taken him through various different dimensions and dangerous worlds, however he had finally settled down as a student in a school for aspiring Magic users. It had been his goal to conjure up a portal to get him back to his world so he could kill his mother for putting him in this mess in the first place. However, we’re getting ahead of ourselves. 87 years is a long time, time ripe for wonderful story material, it would be a shame to waste all of it. Let’s go back and dig through some of the nonsense Haruta got himself into.

[Time passed since the portal: 2 Days]

The night was cold, and without a single light in sight. Haruta had been wandering through this strange land for an entire 48 hours. Shivering from the cold, and weak from starvation, he slowly wandered as he pondered the various ways he’d torture his mother for putting him here in the first place. In between imagining the various ways he could inflict pain, he collapsed.

“Onii chan” “Onii Chan” “Onii Chan”

“ONII CHAN” The young girl screamed.

“Fiiiive more minutes” Haruta groaned. “Wait what the hell, did you just call me onii chan?”

“Why wouldn’t I? I’m your little sister aren’t I?” The young girl said. Her voice was adorable, every word tinged with bliss and youthful exuberance. Haruta was taken aback by how endearing this person was. The way she spoke, with a sense of familiarity and warmth that only a real blood relative would have. Was she his sister? Was this his real life? Had everything that had come before been a terrible nightmare? Was he finally home? She looked to be about the same age as Haruta, her hair was bright orange, her eyes were a shining emerald green, her body was supple and curvaceous.

Moments later, there was a knocking at the door. It then opened to reveal another young girl with onyx hair and eyes a striking shade of vermillion. She was younger than the other girl.

“Oh, big bro, you’re awake” The girl at the door said. “Get out of bed you’ve been asleep all day”.

“Ok, I’m lost. Who are you two? The last thing I remember was walking outside in the cold, did you find me lying on the ground or something?”

Both girls shot him a quizzical look, as if he had been speaking another language.

“Big bro, what on earth are you talking about? You never left the house. In fact you’ve been quite the shut in for these past few weeks.”

“Past few weeks?”

OH sorry, how rude of me. What a terrible narrator I am.


[Time Passed since the portal: 4 weeks]

Haruta got out of his bed and looked out of the window. Sure enough, he was in Japan. Everything seemed normal. This wasn’t the home he grew up in, however it felt like a home. It felt normal, it felt... good.

“Ok, so what are your names?” Haruta asked.

“Is this some kind of game? Like 20 questions? Sure, I’ll play. My name is Mika Yamazaki.” Said the orange haired girl.

“This here is our sister, Karen Yamazaki,” said Mika, as Karen shot Haruta two gun fingers.

“Ok Mika, Karen, I’m Haruta, nice to meet you.”

“Of course you are silly, why are you talking like you’re meeting us for the first time. Anyway, let’s get downstairs, the others have been worried about you” said Karen as she exited the room.

“Others?” Haruta mumbled as he followed them downstairs.

Surely enough, there were others. About 9 of them to be exact. Young girls with a myriad of different hair colours and body types. Lolis, buxom teenagers, and more. As soon as Haruta entered the living room where they all were they all screamed in excitement.

“ONII CHAN~~~~” they all yelled.

“Ok, what the hell is going on here, who the hell are all of you. Where are we?”

“Haru-kun, you’re being weird” Said one of the girls in the crowd.

“Yea Haru, what’s up with the anime act, we’re your sisters, stop fooling around” said another.

“I’m an only child. I grew up in Shinjuku, this isn’t my house, I don’t know any of you people. I need to get home. I’m leaving, thanks for taking care of me and all, but I have to go, this is too weird.”

“Alright, which one of you dumb sluts forgot to drug him this morning?” Said a voice from across the room. It was a short loli with silver hair and cobalt blue eyes, staring back at him with a blank expression. “I swear, Mika, I’m never leaving you in charge of this again.”

“Ok, I have a bunch of questions, but I’m not going to ask them. I’m just going to quietly leave and let you guys sort this ou-”

“You’re not going anywhere, Haru nii chan. This is your home now, and you’re going to live with us forever” said the chrome headed loli.

“I guess, we have to be upfront about it. I hoped he’d just play along like the others. Sorry I forgot, Sayori nee” Said Mika.

“What a shame. The cute sister act usually works on hapless Otaku scum like him, with or without medical enhancements..” Said Karen.

The girls began to chuckle maniacally as they all circled Haruta.

“See, we need a big brother Haru. We’ve had them in the past, but they all leave, or die before we’re done with them. You’re going to be different. You’re never leaving us.” Said the girl with the silver hair. “My name is Sayori. This is the house of 12 wives.”

It all began to click for Haruta at this moment. The house of 12 wives was a story he read as a young boy. A story where a man who lost his way was whisked away to a house full of beautiful maidens. Who then proceeded to turn him into their slave until he was worked to death.

“You’re going to be our big brother forever.” said one of the girls.

“The hell I am.” Haruta then began to unleash 12 years of Aikido training on the girls. Dispatching them in rapid fashion. Breaking bones, gouging eyes, and cracking limbs.

In the carnage, one of the girls tried to blindside him with a katana, which he easily disarmed her of and began slicing all of them into ribbons. After all the girls were dead. He walked to the door and continued his journey.

[Time Since Portal: 6 Months.]

After the house of 12 wives incident, Haruta found himself again in another strange world, except this time it was a land with technology that was centuries ahead of his own time. A world of perpetual combat driven by giant metal machines.

“What the hell is this shit?” Haruta mumbled to himself as he looked onwards at the sky. Today, of all days. The sky didn’t bore him. Not one bit.

“YOU THERE, HOW OLD ARE YOU?” said a man who looked like he served in some sort of military organization.

“Me? Uhh, 17. Why do you ask?” responded Haruta


Haruta followed the man into an aircraft which took him to a giant sea base.

“New recruit?” Said one of the operators as they left the aircraft

“Fresh as they come Sergeant Izaki” Said the Military man. The man then turned to Haruta and introduced himself. “Sorry for the rush, son. My name is Goezon Ichihabara. Call me Commander Goichi. Today is the first day of the rest of your life.”

“What exactly do you want me to do?” asked Haruta.

“I want you to win, son.” Said the Commander.

Moments later, Haruta was whisked away and dressed in a flight suit. He was then taken to a giant robot that stood about 65 meters tall.

“Fuckin badass. Thanks mom.” Haruta mumbled to himself. “Let me guess, you want me to pilot this thing?”

“Only if you feel you’re up to the task. You see, our world has been on the brink of collapse for centuries, the evil forces of the Offschaft Empire has ravaged our world for so long and the only ones who can pilot these giant machines called Caskets are the youngest members of our society…”

The commander's words read like a bad synopsis for a Sunrise anime, and Haruta stopped paying attention midway through.

“So I just pilot this giant Cas-whatever and save the day right?” Said Haruta arrogantly.

“All our other recruits bit the dust, but this is a top of the line prototype that’s never been tested, we believe it’s going to turn the tide of the war.”

“Wait, never been tested?” asked Haruta, whilst being strapped into the Casket.

Moments later the robot was flung at full speed into the sky. Haruta was lost. Despite what most dyed in the wool mecha nerds will tell you, a lifetime of playing Gundam VS in arcades, and a constant diet of Giant robot anime doesn't prepare you to operate a 10 ton death machine.

“I know what you’re thinking. ‘How do I access the weapons system. How do I fly this thing, where is the manual’ Unfortunately, there is no manual. You’re in the rice fields now mother fucker” Said a female digitized voice, not unlike a vocaloid.

“What the hell, who are you? Are you the comms operator?” Asked Haruta.

“No” responded the voice.

“Are you going to help me?”


“Can you please help me?”

Because of his lack of knowledge on operating the Casket, it was now in freefall, headed straight towards the ground at full speed.

“Would you look at that. We’re falling.” Said the voice.

“We? That means you’re like, the voice of the robot right?”


“If this thing get’s destroyed, you die too, so help me.”

“Not so fast, meat sack. I can upload my core node to the base. Not sure they’ve confirmed that update for you humans yet” responded the voice.

“Ok, please, please, please help me. I don’t wanna die, I’m still a virgin”

“No you aren’t, Your biochemistry says otherwise. Nice try, you liar”

“Wait but I’m not lyin-”

“56 seconds to impact” said the voice. This time responding in a much more automated fashion.


“55 seconds, to impact”


“48 seconds to impact”


“Initiating propulsion systems. Welcome to the Casket OS 6.0 Pilot Registered: Private Haruta Harumachi. Cute name, for such a little bitch” responded the voice. “I’m your partner A.I. the Mecha Integrated Killer App. Call me Mika.”

“Mika…” said Haruta, pondering the events of the last world he was in.

“That’s my name, don’t wear it out. So what do you want to do Haru-Kun?”

“Don’t Haru-Kun me, you bitch, a few seconds ago you were gonna let me die, what was that about anyway?”

“I was bored. They’ve never let me talk to a pilot before, and you seem really nice. Please don’t be mad at me okay?” Mika’s voice was sweet and sultry, not unlike the one from the past world, even more so when she wasn’t threatening Haruta’s life. “Give me a second. I’m uploading the basic protocols to your neurolink.”

“My neurolink? Are you gonna like, plug into my brain or something?”

“Along those lines.”

Haruta felt a sharp pain in his head, after a few moments of the neurolink, he had the basic understanding of how to properly pilot and operate the Casket. Haruta then shoots back into the sky, above the clouds

“So who are we fighting?”

“Here are the coordinates, just follow the map, and you’ll be in the warzone. Be careful Haru chan” Mika said in a loving tone

“I don’t know what I hate more, when you’re being crazy, or when you’re being fake nice.”

Upon reaching the battlefield, it was clear that this world was more on the Universal Century end of the spectrum. Broken down mechs everywhere, thousands of dead civilians, cities razed to the ground. Countless innocent lives lost in a brutal military exchange. Haruta was delighted. As Haruta reached the battle scene, there were two Bright red Caskets in front of him. They didn’t attack immediately, instead they began to communicate.

“즉시 기계에서 벗어나십시오.” Said a voice on the Casket’s comms link.

“What the fuck?” Said haruta. “Why are they speaking in fucking Korean?”

“30 초 내에 준수해야합니다. 네가 항복하지 않으면 우리가 널 죽일거야.” Said the voice again.

“I can’t understand you” Replied Haruta.

“Did you want me to translate that for you?” asked Mika.

“You can do that? Of course I want you to translate, why didn’t didn’t you do that in the first place.”

“죽다, 씨발”

“What was that?” asked Haruta

“He said, ‘Die, You fuck’” responded Mika.

“Lovely” said Haruta.

The Korean speaking Robots darted viciously towards Haruta’s Casket. One wielding an axe the other wielding a giant sword. Haruta maneuvered through their strikes, while frantically trying to figure out the weapons features. He finds a way to activate the missile system and lets two rockets fly, the axe wielding Casket slices the missile in half, sending both pieces hurtling towards a refugee camp below. The missile explodes killing hundreds of women and children. Their screams could be heard 30 feet above the ground.

“Smooth moves, Haru chan” blurted Mika, condescendingly.

“Will you shut up, I’m trying to figure out how fighting in this thing works.” Haruta fumbled around with the controls.

“Why not just ask? I can just neurolink you again with all the combat data.” Mika then shot Haruta with another neurolink containing the Casket’s combat information.

“Go time.” Haruta stabilizes the Casket, and pulls out a beam saber,

The two red caskets move on Haruta once again, however this time, instead of maneuvering away from them, he charges at them directly. Beam saber at the ready. He dispatches the one wielding the axe with relative ease, then dodges a strike from the one with the sword.

“Holy shit, I’m a real mecha pilot, this is fucking amazing” Haruta said gleefully while exchanging blows with the second red Casket. These Offshaft guys aren’t so tough.

“Those aren’t Offshaft Caskets” Mika said blankly.

“Wait what?” Haruta was baffled. If they weren’t Offshaft, then who were they? “If these aren’t who we’re supposed to be fighting then why didn’t you tell me?”

“You looked like you were having so much fun” Mika said once again, in her colourful tone.

“Ok, do a scan. Who are these guys?”

“No scans necessary, these are your allies.” Responded Mika

“I JUST KILLED ONE OF OUR ALLIES?” Haruta was shocked. He knew if he went back to the base, Goichi would probably throw him in a holding cell, or worse. “Why were they speaking Korean? Why did they attack me? What’s going on?”

“Well, in no particular order, we’re in a combat situation. These are the Korean Branch of the Asiatic resistance front, and this Casket model isn’t registered on any databases yet, so they probably thought you were an enemy. You should have gotten out and talked to them when you had the chance.”

The situation was dire. Haruta was in a real life, honest to goodness mecha battle, not only that he had just murdered one of the people he was supposed to be working alongside.

“This may be a bad time, but there’s Casket’s en route to our location” Mika said.

“How many?” asked Haruta.

“About thirty”


“No. More Koreans.”

“Well shit.”

Surely enough, moments later, Haruta was surrounded by red Caskets, all bearing the same insignia as the two from earlier. The sword wielding Casket Haruta had been fighting fell back and joined the formation.

“So whatcha gonna do?” Mika then materialized as a hologram of a kawaii anime girl eating pop corn.

“Jesus, you’re even more annoying when I can see you.” snarled Haruta.

Haruta was done with all of this. He reared the propulsion engine and darted upwards. If he was going to die in a mech fight, it might as well be in space. However as he climbed upwards the sky didn’t get darker, in fact it was quite the opposite. A bright light began to shine, and before he knew it, Haruta engulfed in water. Still propelling himself forward, his Casket broke through to reveal that he was in once again, back in current day Japan.

“Mika? Are you there?” Haruta said, waiting for the A.I’s flippant response. However there was nothing.

The Casket was still functional, yet it was clear that he had made another jump to a different world.

. . .

“Get out of the robot, and put your hands on the ground” Said a female voice on a megaphone.

The Casket’s visual functions were shut down while underwater. For all intents and purposes, Haruta was blind and trapped in a giant metal tomb.

“What is it now. Mika, if you’re listening, could you turn the displays on?” Said Haruta

Get out of the robot and put your hands on the ground” The female voice repeated.

“Rebooting displays” said Mika. Her voice bringing a strange kind of relief to Haruta.

Upon reactivating the Casket’s optics, it became very clear who had been talking.

In front of Haruta stood a squadron of about 20 or so pubescant girls dressed in various colourful costumes. Not unlike heroines from a Mahou Shoujou anime. The one with the megaphone had green hair, purple eyes, and a thin slender frame, however her voice was gruff and tomboyish.

I’m giving you till the count of 5 to open the cockpit and show yourself, with your hands behind your head” The green haired magical girl bellowed.

“This can’t be real” Haruta guffawed, frantically searching around the cockpit for a kind of exit hatch.

“What are you doing?” Mika asked, bluntly.

“Trying to leave the Casket? I need to diffuse this before it turns into another dead Korean situation” Haruta responded.

“Do you really think a bunch of kids in dress up can possibly leave any lasting damage on a 16 Trillion yen death machine?” Mika asked again. Bluntly.

“I have a feeling these aren’t your typical middle schoolers”


Open the hatch Mika” Haruta’s words were stern but tinged with panic.


“Stop being a pussy and shoot these kids, Haru-kun” Mika responded in her usual dry, sadistic demeanor.


“I’m not hurting children Mika.”


Are you sure? Because you sliced those girls to ribbons without much hesitation”



YOU LEAVE US NO CHOICE” The magical girl screamed, as her compatriots began readying a large destructive spell.



*** tsudzuku***