Across the Sea

“How old is she again? The child.”

“She turned fifteen this year. Highness.”

“Well, isn’t that a remarkable coincidence, Lavenza? My daughter also turned fifteen this year.”

The following morning, Lavenza and Empress Seline strolled through the garden. Seline had woken up first and prepared more tea along with biscuits that she had stored in the cupboards of her shack.

“What do children do these days for fun?” Seline asked. “Do they want nice presents?”

“I don’t know if Deme could be a substitute for any child,” Lavenza said. “As for presents, you wouldn’t happen to have a stem of Rafta in the vaults, would you?”

“The only flowers I have are the basic ones grown here,” Seline gestured to the garden. “But Rafta, huh? Goodness, children are so expensive these days.”

“It’s to be a memento for her father.”

“Is that so? Well, unfortunately, like all the other times you’ve asked, the imperial court does not possess Rafta in the vaults. The child will have to settle for something else. What about a horse? When I was a young girl, a thoroughbred from my father was all that I dreamed of.”

“I don’t think she would mind a horse.”

“Then it’s settled! Take any horse from the citadel stables,” Seline beamed. “I’m sure they’ll be of great use to you. You’re heading east, aren’t you?”

“After you leave, yes.”

“Then tell Richard that I’ve gone ahead, will you?”

“…You’ve still not mentioned it to him? Or to Tamarin? Before you sent them to the east?”

“Lavenza!” Seline laughed. “You wound me by suggesting I would share our most intimate secrets with Richard of all people. You can tell them when you see them. Richard would prefer to hear it from you. He’s very fond of you.”

“Our secrets?” Lavenza asked.

“Our secrets,” Seline nodded. “Or do you think I trust the pontifex and his ilk?”

“…Is that why you let the Andari run free?”

“Arresting them would cause more trouble,” Seline shrugged. “People would believe they were being silenced for telling the truth. It might even give their accusations some shred of credibility, which is the last thing I want.”

Lavenza remembered Ariadne.

“Is that why you’re leaving now?” she asked.

“For many reasons, I would have liked to be on the last ship out of Aparthia,” Seline sighed. “But some people will only believe The Opposing Shore is safe once the empress herself sets out for it. It already looks too suspicious. Hardly any royal officials have departed from Centa Muis.”

“They can’t go in your place?”

“The public do not know them,” the empress shook her head. “But they do know me. It was my idea, after all. My discovery, rather.”

“Do you regret your discovery then?”

“I always knew this was a possibility,” Seline shrugged. “So I regret nothing.”

Their walk through the gardens continued. Every so often, Seline bent down to inspect her flowers. Her hands pushed through thorny patches and foliage as if to observe the roots below, but Lavenza knew she cared little for such things. Like many things in Empress Seline’s life, her playfulness was yet another game of pretend. In reality, Seline was still pondering Lavenza’s earlier question.

“I do have one regret actually,” Seline said. “I wish I had given my people a choice in the matter.”

“Tell them the truth, you mean?”

“Nothing so dramatic as that, no,” the empress pinched the petals of a tulip, “but I would have changed the story as to provide my subjects with more agency.”

“Would that have made any difference?”

Seline smiled and shook her head.

“Ruling in this last year has been more insightful than all the years studying under my father and his father combined,” she explained. “Look at what’s happened on parchment, Lavenza. There’s order in my kingdom. I’ve averted the crisis predicted by my late father’s advisors. There was no rebellion, no uprising. What did those old shit stirrers say? Tens of thousands rioting in every city. People would uproot their lives, abandon their jobs, coinage would become worthless overnight, and I would be bartering with worthless royal artifacts until venereal disease or violence took me.”

“You’ve done a fine job.”

“Except perhaps I haven’t,” Seline mumbled. “Answer me this, Lavenza, do people have a right to choose their own destiny?”

“Most people are not in a position to choose,” Lavenza answered. “Some people shouldn’t be allowed to choose.”

“That’s what I tell myself at night,” Seline nodded. “The people don’t get to decide. I will decide what is best for them. I know better than them. That’s what I thought, at least, and all the tangibles told me that I was right to think that way.”

“Do you think differently now?”

“No,” Seline replied. “People are weak. Most people are weak. If they were told everything was utterly futile, they would behave as weak people would. They’d rely on their base instincts and you couldn’t tell them apart from animals. You cannot expect most people to behave with bravery or nobility or even indifference. We are not so inherently good. So you spin a grand lie, not because you want to protect the strong, but because you want to protect the weak from themselves. The strong will find their own way. I’ve found my way. But… it is regrettable, I think. I have chosen to die on my own terms. Why should the weak not be given the same opportunity?”

“If the strong find their own way,” Lavenza asked. “Does your daughter get a say in her destiny?”

Empress Seline looked up from the roots of her roses. The question had caught her off guard. Her hand slipped and a thorn dragged a bright red mark across her wrist.

“No,” the empress stared at the wound. “No, I suppose she does not.”

Then, after another moment of silence, the empress spoke again.

“What about you, Lavenza?” she whispered. “Do you regret accepting the mission I gave you?”

“I was raised to serve Your Royal Highness,” Lavenza bowed. “To that end, this mission is no different from any other.”

“Nonsense,” the empress scoffed. “You don’t believe that. The Menuans could have chosen anyone for their ritual. And yet you chose the child. Why?”

“Happenstance.”

“Is it because she looks like me?”

Lavenza stayed silent. The church bells above the cathedral rang.

“When I stood before you and told you to save my daughter in exchange for anything you wanted,” Seline said. “You agreed and told me with no hesitation that you would do it in exchange for my love. You knew, even then, that I could never reciprocate. Yet you took my request and have returned to me time and time again in the hope that just one time, you might feel that my hands and body may feel love for you.”

Lavenza remained silent.

“So I’m asking you again,” the empress said. “Do you regret it?”

Down the corridor that led to the garden, Lavenza heard the sound of boots marching on concrete. Out came soldiers, aristocrats, and Pontifex Calderon. The empress’s royal escort had arrived.

“We will not see each other again, Lavenza,” Seline looked at her. “If there is something you wish to say to me in private. Now would be your last chance.”

In truth, Lavenza already knew the answer to Seline’s question. Deep in her heart, Seline knew it too, but there was something powerful about vocalizing it aloud. In some ways, it gave the answer a different kind of strength, solidified it in ways thoughts and feelings couldn’t.
But Lavenza didn’t want to answer. Lovers did not need to exchange words, she thought. To speak would thus give away one illusion she preferred to keep.

Seline, however, pressed her lips to Lavenza’s. If she wasn’t going to hear an answer, she was going to feel it. Her arriving escort faced Lavenza from behind. All they saw was their empress leaning in to whisper a few final words. They did not see their empress leave what remained of her passion, her love, her secrets, her humility with Lavenza, that she would leave with her escorts having left all her worldly desires and wishes with an apostate who would remain in Aparthia forever.

Their kiss ended. Lavenza parted her lips to speak, but realized their moment had already passed. The empress’s escorts were now in earshot.

Apostate Lavenza bowed to Empress Seline of the Crystal Throne one last time.

“I wish you safe voyage across the sea, Your Royal Highness.”