Chapter 1 - Arrival

Aoyama Rina | Apartment 108

                                              And maybe I'll never erase all the scars

                                   But I'll wear them like armor-not chains in the dark

                                         Every tear I have shed is a piece of the cost

                                          Of becoming someone who won't be lost

I pressed my cheek against the cool window of the cab, watching the cars blur past. The scenery shifted slowly. Starting with the mysterious charm of a quiet and small village to the modern and loud city. The rain helped to create the perfect transition.

I normally hated being in the back seat - I always felt sick to my stomach. My parents usually let me sit in the front, but there was something so unsettling about the cab driver that I quickly decided the back seat was safer after all.

With my headphones on and the music drowning out the sound of the rain, I felt like I could breathe again.

His constant gaze was unsettling, but as long as he left me alone, I could live with it.

Music always calmed me down. I could escape into my own little world or create wonderful stories in my head in which I fought monsters or explored strange new worlds.

But I had a lot to think about, so there was no time for wild storytelling.

After all, I had done it.

Graduating from Matsumoto Agatagaoka High School with top marks had been my ticket to freedom. With the full support of my parents, I was able to chase my own dreams. They didn't pressure me to follow a certain path or dictate which university I should go to.

I was grateful for that.

Shinsei University in Setagaya, in the Tokyo Prefecture, was my choice.

My fascination with folklore and its impact on modern societies had drawn me there almost magically.

Shinsei was famous for its cultural studies programs, and I was eager to explore how myths and legends shape the world we live in.

For a girl from a small village that most people hadn't even heard of - except maybe people who had a lot to do with clocks - moving to the city was the biggest adventure of my life. But even that excitement was overshadowed by the storm I had left behind.

I had made a very personal decision to go to this university, my own way, and although my parents supported me, my best friend Hina did not. And neither did anyone else in my friends group. We had argued - loud exchanges, accusations and finally a break-up. She ended our friendship.

“I never want to see you again.”

“You've betrayed everything we promised each other.”

“Never call me again.”

Those were the last words I heard from her before she left.

Life in the village is special, sometimes even overwhelming. When a friendship breaks up, it's like a domino effect - soon the whole circle had turned against me.

Sighing, I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate on the music.

Would we ever reconcile again?

Maybe time would heal the wounds. After all, it wasn't unusual for friends to go to different schools or universities. Or was I just deluding myself?

I opened my eyes again and glanced at the driver.

He kept giving me furtive glances through the rear-view mirror.

Why was he so creepy?

I pulled the hood of my jacket down over my face even more and turned my attention back to the rain-soaked roads.

We had been on the road for over three hours and had to be close.

As soon as I got out of the cab, I would leave Tokoyozaka - and everything it stood for - behind me.

The lyrics of Yūrei Echo in my ears accompanied me through the rest of the journey, and finally we arrived in Setagaya.

Even though I had been to Tokyo a few times before, the surroundings still amazed me - after all, it was my new home.

The cab stopped slowly and for a moment the driver and I stared at each other.

His silence was a clear sign that I wasn't going to get any help unloading my luggage.

Sighing, I pulled my hood lower over my face, opened the door and stepped out into the cool afternoon air.

The rain wasn't too heavy, but it was enough to soak me by the time I got to my apartment. As if to greet me, the wind ripped the hood off my head, sending rain streaming down my face.

“Great,” I muttered.

I quickly opened the trunk and started dragging my suitcase and bags into the building one by one.

At least my stuff should survive the weather.

By the time I was done, my hair was sticking to my face and blocking my view, while my jacket felt like a second skin, as sticking as it was.

Back at the car, I dug the money my father had given me out of my pocket and silently handed it to the driver, who looked at me expectantly.

“Thank you. All the best in Setagaya, young lady,” he said in a tone that couldn't have been more put-on.

“yeah, yeah.”

He stared at me as if he was waiting for a tip.

He wasn't going to get any.

His expression darkened, but he wordlessly handed me my change and drove off.

“Stupid bastard,” I muttered, looking up at the dark sky.

As I turned to go inside, a tingle crawled up my spine as if I was being watched.

My gaze wandered to the second floor, where my apartment was located as well, and there I saw him - the man on the balcony.

His disheveled and unkempt appearance was clearly visible even through the rain and the distance. He certainly hadn't left the apartment for weeks. His eyes, so dark and intense, focused on me relentlessly.

A shiver ran down my spine and I wasn't sure if it was the cold rain or his gaze. Why was everyone so creepy?

I hurried inside, quickly gathered my things and began the arduous trek up the stairs.

No elevator. Of course not.

When I finally reached my apartment with everything, I was soaked, exhausted and more than a little annoyed. I dug the key out of my pocket and opened the door.

The apartment in front of me was pitch black until I finally found the light switch after fumbling around for ages.

“Wow...”,

A grin spread across my face.

The apartment was perfect - better than I could have dreamed of.

I inspected every little corner in amazement at how spacious it was for the price.

The pictures on the internet really did the room an injustice. My tiredness faded, giving way to an almost childlike excitement.

This was it. My new beginning. My new home.

I flopped down on the sofa and crossed my arms in front of my face. The bright light from the lamps dazzled me and the rain pattered so reassuringly against the window that I immediately felt at ease.

My first apartment of my own, far away from home and it immediately felt like I belonged here, it felt real and the worries I had before were blown away.

As I looked around the apartment, I was already thinking about how I was going to arrange everything. Unlike my parents' home, there were no sloping ceilings and the furniture that was already there had a certain charm, even if they didn't seem new. To be fair, they seemed pretty old but in good condition.

“Ugh, I need to change”

I'd been wearing these wet clothes for long enough now, so I made my way to the bathroom and looked around while I undressed. The rain had really soaked me down to my underwear, so I just took everything off and got fresh underwear and pajamas out of my suitcase.

I probably wouldn't be leaving the house today anyway, so I might as well take a bath and relax.

I ran the water while I dialed my parents' number and put it on speakerphone.

“Hello, Aoyama speaking?”

Dad once again didn't look at his phone when he picked up, otherwise he would probably have recognized my number.

“Hi Dad, it's me, I've arrived safely and I've already put everything in the apartment.”

“Oh Rina-chan. How nice to hear. Did everything go well? Is it raining for you too?”

“Yes of course, everything went well, I'm pretty tired from the long journey and I'm about to take a bath, just wanted to check in with you quickly so you don't worry.”

He didn't say anything, but knowing him, he had already been lurking by the phone, worrying about whether I had arrived safely in my new surroundings.

We talked for a few more minutes before I finally hung up and slowly lay down in the hot water and closed my eyes.

I immediately felt the warmth spread through my entire body.

Pure Relaxation.

But now that I was all alone and there was nothing to hear but the distant splashing of the rain and the dripping of the tap, there was probably nothing I could do about the thoughts buzzing around in my head.

All on my own and without a circle of friends, a circle of friends that had lasted so many years, it felt somehow terrible, lonely.

I slowly lowered my head under water as I felt the first tears running down my cheek.

Even though I didn't regret taking the path I did and enrolling at Shinsei, I still missed the times that were probably behind me for good.

Talking on the phone for hours, crying together on bad days, laughing until my knees got weak on the good days.

I came up out of the water to catch my breath and only then realized how much I was crying and just let it happen.

That idiot, I would have loved to call her now, speak to her like we always did, cursed about the taxi driver, the weather, the creepy guy that lived so close to my own apartment -

The tears ran down my face more and more and I kept putting my head under water, where I could not only cry, but scream silently.

But something felt strange.

Was it my imagination?

Or something else?

It felt like falling asleep, even though I was wide awake, when I finally came up again.

The tears dried up and I stared down my body, stroking my arms, over my shoulders and down my stomach to my hips.

I wasn't imagining it.

The pain I had felt a few minutes ago, the loneliness, the painful memories of the fight - was gone.

It was as if someone had gently and carefully pulled it out of me and wrapped it up, locked it away.

My cell phone beeped.

Wait a minute, I'd been sitting in the bath for an hour? The water had lost its warmth, but I could have sworn I hadn't bathed for more than half an hour or even less.

The silence in the apartment and the silence in myself seemed to communicate with each other

I was probably just tired, but I felt better.

The crying had simply served its purpose. Didn't they say that crying helped you get over painful things?

When I got out of the bathtub and let the water out, I dried myself off, threw on my pajamas and made myself comfortable on the sofa while I dug out the bento box that my dad had prepared for me as a farewell.

fresh rice, omelette, fried vegetables and his famous hot sauce, a little bit of salad and even his homemade miso soup.

The best dinner I could have gotten that day.

I wolfed down the food and pulled out my diary.

I had been writing down my thoughts in it since I learned how to write and I wasn't going to stop just because I was about to be a student in university.

I neatly told all my thoughts to the little booklet before turning on the TV and relaxed.

I smiled.

I felt good, very good, in fact…

Diary entry {01}

Dear diary,

Today I left home and arrived in Setagaya. The cab driver was a total creep! From the looks he gave me, I could imagine what he was thinking.

But I arrived at my new apartment and it's just great!

Not only does it look much better than in the pictures, but it also has a lovely balcony, a large bathroom with a bathtub, which I used straight away, and the living and working areas are separated by a sliding door. I already love it and thanks to the really cheap rent, I don't have to worry.

I was going to write about Hina and the others, but I feel much better. They ended their friendship with me so I'm not sad, I'm just looking for new friends at university.

My life feels really indescribably good right now. I'm excited and still a bit insecure, but I'm sure it's all going to be great. I can hardly wait for the Entrance Ceremony on Monday.

But I'm going to watch a bit of TV and then go to bed. Tomorrow will be a busy day, after all I want to unpack and decorate the apartment and go shopping.

See you next time, dear diary

Your Aoyama Rina new in apartment 108