There Was Once a Light

Morning arrived and everyone in the house woke in quiet reflection. In his bedroom, Hazuki and Naoe awoke in near unison. Neither moved at first. Only when Naoe turned to look at Hazuki did he move to meet her. The look of understanding they shared told both of them that the dream that night had not been made up. It was something they both remembered, meaning the agreement was true. Once more, Hazuki’s hand joined with Naoe’s, and the two of them savored a last moment alone.

Once they exited the room, Sayane approached Naoe and pulled her aside.

“Come with me. I have a few things you might want,” Sayane said as she led Naoe into her room.

Sayane closed the door behind them and opened a drawer to reveal folded undergarments.

“Sorry if this is odd, but I didn’t know if needed anything to wear underneath your clothes. I have panties and a few sports bras that might work so that you don’t get chafed on the hike to the shrine,” she said as she pointed to several options.

Naoe eyed the patterned garments that were quite foreign to her.

“Sorry, I don’t know what to do,” apologized Naoe.

Sayane selected a pair of simple pastel blue panties and a black sports bra that seemed like it would fit Naoe’s chest.

“These might not be perfect, but it’s better than nothing. Slide these on, this way is the front. Then just pull the bra over your head with the cups around, you know…” said Sayane as she retrieved some socks.

Naoe undressed and put on the strange modern undergarments. Even though she was covered, she felt quite exposed as she looked at her legs and stomach in the mirror.

“It fits well, thank you,” said Naoe as she observed herself once more.

“Here are some socks too. I’ll have a spare pair of shoes for you at the door. Again, probably not the right size, but better than nothing,” said Sayane as she handed Naoe the remaining items.

Naoe slid into the socks and redressed into Hazuki’s clothes. Lastly, Sayane handed her a coat.

“In case it’s cold,” said Sayane.

Naoe could tell Sayane wanted to say more or didn’t know what to say. For having only known her for a day, Sayane was being very kind to Naoe.

“Thank you. And thank you for all that you did for Hazuki,” said Naoe.

Sayane tried to speak but instead settled on merely smiling and rubbing Naoe’s back as she opened the door to return to the living room. It was almost time to leave.

Snacks and water bottles were loaded into the van. Arthur drove to a station down the road and filled the gas tank. Hazuki took one last look at his room and then closed the door.

Remnants of snow lined the edges of the asphalt, but the roads themselves were safe. Sunlight’s warmth had already begun to melt what remained. The four of them set out towards the park, where Matsumoto and Shinji were waiting. No one spoke as the van moved through light traffic. Most of the world was still asleep. Everything felt cold.

Shortly later they arrived at the park. Naoe inhaled slowly.

“Matsumoto is almost here with Shinji,” said Arthur as he checked his phone messages.

Naoe observed the park from the distance of the parking lot. White snow lay undisturbed across the expansive land. It had been quite a long time since she had seen the landscape in any other season besides Spring. Looking out at the barren trees that stuck out from the white ground with white caps along their branches, Naoe felt a sense of regret that it might be goodbye.

“Can I go see my tree? Quickly?” Naoe asked.

“Of course,” said Sayane.

“Would you like me to go with you?” Hazuki asked.

“Yes,” whispered Naoe.

“Though, I would like a small moment alone if possible,” she added.

“Of course,” said Hazuki as he opened the van door to the cold air that awaited.

Tracks in the snow were left behind the two of them as they walked. It was the only proof they had been there. Down the hill they went until Naoe’s tree was up ahead. Naoe’s fingers tightened on Hazuki’s ever so slightly as they neared.

“Okay. Can you wait here?” Naoe asked.

“Yes,” replied Hazuki as he released her hand.

Naoe made her way to the tree. Seeing her in something other than her kimono was strange for Hazuki. Standing there in Sayane’s jacket and his clothes, by all rights she looked like any other young woman from the current time that might come visit the park. But her aura revealed her foreign and melancholy nature. Once more, Naoe embraced the tree and pressed her ear to its frost-covered bark.

Her eyes closed and she inhaled slowly while still holding onto the tree. Hazuki did not look away. Her lips moved in silence as she whispered secrets to the tree that were only meant for her to hear. Then she was done. Sanpaku eyes opened and looked to Hazuki.

“I’m ready,” Naoe whispered.

Back at the van, Matsumoto and Shinji had arrived and were now loaded into the middle row’s split seats. Matsumoto saw Naoe and Hazuki approaching and stepped out from his seat to clear space for their entry. Naoe crouched and moved to the van’s back row, where she was joined by Hazuki, who took slightly longer to navigate the narrow space between the rows. Once they were all seated, Arthur returned to the front of the van. What he saw was quite surreal, and he couldn’t help but grin to himself in irony as he looked at his beautiful wife, a small, slightly overweight park worker, an elderly priest in a lavender coat and matching bucket hat, a formerly homeless young man, and a scar-faced girl who was three-hundred years old.

With that, he joined them and started the van’s ignition. Open road awaited them.

Hours passed in a blurred instance. Mountains rolled in steady rises and falls beside them. Forests popped up then vanished. Cities and towns drifted by just far enough out of reach that they never felt like part of the journey. About halfway through the trip, Sayane cleared her throat.

“Is music okay?” she asked.

“Yes, please!” said Matsumoto, Arthur, and Shinji in unison.

Naoe selected a playlist on her phone and then connected to the van’s speaker system. Naoe watched the modern wonder unfold with quiet appreciation. No one else in the van seemed to care, but for her, it was an incredible moment. Music began to play from the speakers as a chorus of women sang in unison. Matsumoto and Shinji seemed to know the song.

“City Pop okay?” asked Sayane.

“Oh yes! I love this song!” said Matsumoto.

“I saw her in Osaka in the Eighties,” said Shinji.

Naoe listened to the words. The lady singing spoke of longing and loss. Even though the music and tempo were upbeat, her words and voice echoed a sentiment of sadness. Lyrics about seasons where the singer cried before her love, and how Winter revealed their heart had gone away made Naoe nostalgic for a time she had barely experienced.

“Naoe, do you remember this era?” Arthur asked from the front seat.

“The Nineteen-Eighties? Or the seventeen-eighties?” Naoe joked with a familiar smirk.

“Either! As long as the music was this good!” laughed Shinji.

“Well I don’t know if it was the Eighties for those centuries, but I remember lots of war and famine in the old days. For the Nineteen-Eighties, I don’t remember any major turmoil or tragedy,” said Naoe.

“There wasn’t! It was an amazing time to be young,” sighed Matsumoto.

“I was a young professional back then. Before my days of priesthood. That was the golden era of modern Japan,” agreed Shinji.

“You worked in business?” asked Sayane in surprise.

“Yes! I was in marketing for a major conglomerate. The parties were incredible. The restaurants were packed. All the world wanted a piece of Japanese culture and economy. It truly was lovely. Then the crashes came, and the lost decades followed. Things were never the same,” said Shinji as he bobbed along with the music.

It was an unfamiliar concept to Naoe and to Hazuki, who were too young or too disconnected from the world to understand.

“What happened?” asked Naoe.

“An economic bubble. And Japan couldn’t evolve fast enough to adapt. The world was changing, as it does, and Japan moved too slowly. Was too beholden to the old ways. Still is in many cases. Tradition is important, and that is one of the things that makes us who we are. But Mujo is also important. Change is natural, and must be embraced,” said Shinji.

The words struck Hazuki. It had been so long since he’d heard them, that he had almost forgotten about Mujo and his grandfather’s words a thousand memories ago.

“Mujo,” pondered Hazuki as he looked out the window once more and watched the landscape slowly evolve as it blurred by in the distance. While he pondered Mujo, Naoe watched him and pondered giving up a life when decades can fly by full of experience and memory. Still, she accepted that whatever he decided was to be his choice.

An hour later, they arrived in Gifu. At first, a major metropolitan city rose from the valley to greet them. After some more driving, the city began to thin into fields and rivers. Mountains in the distance stood idly in waiting as the van approached their towering peaks. Development tapered and highways became roads.

“Here,” said Shinji as he pointed to an obscure exit that led to a narrow two-lane road.

Arthur veered onto the new route as grey clouds covered the sun, casting a muted blanket over the world. Hazuki felt a sense of uneasy anticipation begin to build in his chest. Up and up they went, taking the occasional turn down another isolated road until that itself stopped being pavement and instead was merely gravel. Now the drive was slow and steep. Arthur focused and turned the music volume down as the incline took them deeper into the overgrown forest that now hosted them.

Hazuki took Naoe’s hand. She was no longer speaking.

Fog built outside the window as the van rose into the low-level clouds. Isolated drops of rain pattered against the windshield. Tires ground along the winding gravel until at last a small cleared field appeared ahead.

“This is it,” said Shinji.

Matsumoto let out a shiver as the towering trees engulfed them in the tiny lot. Moss lined the wide, ancient trunks. Old growth covered the edges of the parking area, with several wooden signs and displays tilted over in rot and neglect. Opening the van door revealed the air to be as cold and damp as the snowy realm they had left that morning. Everyone exited the van in silence. Naoe eyed the weathered steps that led from the lot beneath an overgrown stone torii gate. Lanterns and guardians stood on the flanking sides of the path. As Naoe and Hazuki approached the torii gate, a gust of wind blew from behind them and seemed to pull them forward to the path. Leaves and detritus glided past them and beckoned them forward into the unknown that awaited.

Hazuki looked to Naoe, whose eyes were unreadable.

“Ready?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said quietly as she took his hand and stepped beneath the gate onto the path.