6.3) Good Things Take Time

Abigail Kovacs sat in the apartment, watching the rain fall with her arms crossed on the windowsill. She let out a quiet yawn, fully comfortable and simply watching the time pass by.

It had been an entire week since Victor's disappearance, but things seemed to be becoming more and more mundane. Through the reflection on the window, Abigail could see the other three sitting around a kotatsu. Mary was reading a book, while Atlas was watching Julian play a video game on the television.

Julian was quietly pressing buttons on his controller when he suddenly spoke.

“You know, Atlas. We’re like a four-man party in a JRPG. Ever think about that?”

“Of course not.”

Julian continued, undeterred. “See, Ms. Kovacs is the swordswoman–the protagonist–and you’re the big bad tank.”

There was a pause, as if they were the only two members of the supposedly four-man party.

Atlas scratched his head. “Uh, what about you and Mary?

“Well… I don’t know. I guess Mary could be a healer since she does all the cooking.”

Mary interrupted without looking up from her book. “Don’t bring me into this.” She flipped a page of her novel. “I would never be a healer.”

“But you are a healer,” Julian quickly added. “I mean, you wouldn’t be able to do anything else.”

“Zip it.”

Julian cleared his throat. “And as for me, well, I have no idea.”

Atlas crossed his arms. “You’re the one who wants to form this ‘party’, and here you are, not knowing how you will contribute to the group.”

“I don’t know. Maybe heroic stuff isn’t meant for me. I’m just the guy that watches the party fight. Kinda like what I’m doing right now, playing this game.”

Atlas sighed, perhaps feeling a bit guilty. “I’d say you’re the moral support of our group. So maybe you’re also a ‘healer’, hm?”

“Two healers in one team? That’s unusual. Only one is usually necessary.”

Atlas shrugged. “I say the world needs many more ‘healers’ than it does now.”

“Aw. Thanks.”

Mary sighed. “Don’t flatter him, Atlas. He’s going to start thinking that it’s okay to be useless.”

Another round of silence ensued. Eventually, Julian put down his controller, pulling out his phone as the credits played on the television and a sad, reprised version of the main theme began playing.

“Well, I’m done with this game.” Julian began typing something onto his phone.

Atlas leaned over. “Still adding more things onto the bucket list?”

“Yup. I’m adding smaller things onto it, too, since we can’t always be doing the big stuff. It's funny: the list gets longer each day, so the actual percentage of things I've completed in the list gets smaller each day, no matter what I do.”

Julian put his phone on the table, allowing Atlas to scroll through the list for a good four seconds.

Atlas sounded surprised. “You’re not expecting to finish these all, are you?”

Julian laughed. “No, of course not. That wasn't the point. Like I said before: the point is that I get to share valuable experiences with the people I care for. But, you know…”

Abigail paid more attention to the conversation, noticing that he didn’t finish his sentence. Mary also looked up from her book.

“What is it?” Atlas asked.

“... I wish I had more time,” Julian whispered with a hint of regret.

Silence. After a moment, Mary seemed to nervously try to turn her attention back to her book, while Atlas carefully continued the conversation that was taking a melancholic turn.

“Because of the bucket list?” Atlas asked.

Julian shook his head. “No, not exactly. Well, technically yes, but not exactly.”

“Can you explain?”

“See, there's a lot of things on the bucket list. Some of them are simple and not too meaningful, like, I don't know, learning how to do a handstand. But some are much more precious. And often, they take much longer than all the other things on the list. For example…”

Julian leaned back from the kotatsu and looked up to the ceiling. “Raising my own family, I guess.”

“What?” Mary and Atlas asked out loud in unison, while Abigail muttered it under her breath.

“Maybe it's just an example,” Julian said. “But think about it: raising your own family. I think everyone in the world secretly wants to get married and have kids. It’s a part of the normal human experience.”

Julian tapped the table with his finger. “But first you have to find someone you love. Then you need to handle yourself until you get married. Then you need to wait for a child to be born, and even then, you'll have to spend the rest of your life making sure that your child grows up well while you also take care of your partner…’

“... It's a lot of work, but more importantly for my point: it takes years. Years. And yet, many people would argue that it's the most meaningful thing you can do in this world. I will probably never understand how it feels, of course, but I wish I knew. My parents got to find out, but it looks like I'll never get to know.”

In a soft voice, he finished his thoughts. “It seems to me that the most meaningful things in life take a lot of time. And I guess that’s the one thing we don't have.”

It seemed that nobody was prepared for Julian to say he wanted to make his own family. But as if to break the silence, Mary spoke.

“So what, are you asking us to get you a girlfriend?”

Julian immediately fired back. “You would not be a good wingman, Mary.”

“What?!”

Atlas spoke slowly, as if trying to understand. “Do you hate that you don't have more time, Julian?”

Julian sighed. “It's not hate. I'm not obsessed over it. It's just… I guess visiting my parents reminded me of what I'm going to miss out on. Still, I'm going to try and make the most of what I have. I might feel a bit sad now and then, but I won’t let that stop me from trying to make the most out of my remaining life.”

After a silence, Julian added a small comment.

“But I guess it does feel like I've been robbed of a normal life. Yeah.”

Julian chuckled. “Maybe in the next life, huh? I wonder what kind of a person she would have been? And I wonder whether my first child would have been a boy or a girl…?”

Mary sighed, loudly shutting her book and slamming it down on the table. “Alright, that settles it. We’re downloading a dating app and getting you a girlfriend.”

“What? No, no–”

Before Julian could finish his objection and protect his phone, Mary swiped his phone off the table and unlocked his phone.

“You still haven’t changed your password, foolish brother? Tsk tsk. This will be your downfall.”

“MARY!!! Give it back!” He turned to Atlas. “Come on, help me out here…!”

Atlas crossed his arms. “She might have the right idea, though.”

“WHAT?!”

As the two siblings fought for the phone, Abigail turned her eyes away from the reflection and focused her eyes back onto the rainy streets. It was clear to her that Atlas and Mary were just trying to cheer him up. Though, perhaps Mary really would try to go the distance and make it a group activity to look through the profiles of pretty girls on those apps. Abigail was mildly interested.

But Abigail understood them enough to know that they weren’t actually going to find Julian a girlfriend. It would be too harsh of a joke to find someone his type, just to have him go through romantic heartbreak on top of the apocalypse itself.

The only way Julian’s wish could properly come true was if Victor would return the power of infinity to their hands. Then, someone could hold up the sky and prolong the fate of the universe. Perhaps she would be the one to do it, if no one else would.

… Come back, Victor Truman.