Unconformity

“I… I don’t know if I should… I don’t even know if I will be able to conquer my fear…”

“You took a big step today… I’m sure you will in no time, I don’t want to go yet, I can wait for you until you are ready!”

Liar, you think I forgot about yesterday… you are enduring this a lot, Evelyn…

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah”

A smile was being forced into the face of Evelyn, I knew she was lying, she wasn’t very good at it after all, I smiled at her back and went back to my room, I closed the door and rested my back in it.

“I can let her wait for me…” I whispered.

I started to look more into the place that the post said, it was outside the city, in the mountains, probably a two-day round trip, we can use the trains to get in there, but we would need to walk for about an hour or more

I saw the window and touched it, nodding at myself, I searched for a sweater and hid it on one side of the table. At that moment, Evelyn opened the door with food, I sat down and spun a bit in my chair.

“What did you do today?”

“I tried that curry that we saw, it has a good aroma, I can’t wait to taste it”

Evelyn was delighted by it, her face irradiated so much joy that I felt happy too, but the mere thought of her wanting to go was making me not savor the food in its complete glory.

We spend the rest of the day playing on the computer party games, she gets really into them and it's always funny to see her reactions.

I can’t resist bullying her in the game just to see what she would do, Evelyn can control her strength most of the time since she punched me but gently, it is with other stuff that she is a bit brusque with them.

And then the night fall, I made sure she was sleeping when I took out my sweater and opened the window, I was shaking, I knew it was cold outside but I would lie if I say that it was for that for what I was scared, I was shaking, my hands were moving on its own and my legs seemed to have a own life, my teeth couldn’t help but touch each other, my whole body was trembling at the mere thought of going outside.

And before I knew it, my feet were touching the grass of my house, it was a strange feeling, I felt joy but at the same time I was filled with dread, I couldn’t move, but I tried to endure it, my breathing was abnormal and I punched my chest trying to control it.

C’MON DON’T BE SUCH A WIMP, YOU CAN DO THIS, IF YOU DON’T TRUST IN YOURSELF, THEN TRUST IN THE FAITH SHE PUT ON YOU

I had enough of it and climbed back to the window, I put my hand in my mouth as I was closing the window and went to the bathroom outside the room, in there I put my hand away from my mouth and started to breathe. I hug my own body and try to calm myself down.

About thirty minutes passed, and I stood up, went to my bedroom and threw myself on the floor.

The next morning I was being push for Evelyn

“Azura, wake up! Azura!”

I only made noises and Evelyn picked me up from the arms and started shaking me.

“Azura!”

“Eh? Uh…”

“Are you ok?”

“Yeah…”

Evelyn let my body fall and I rub my butt.

“Ouch…”

“Breakfast is ready, I thought something might happen to you”

“Sorry, I was just sleepy… I am… I still am”

“Did you play something while I was sleeping?”

“No, not at all, just… give me a second, I will eat it”

Evelyn sighed and sat in the bed munching on a bread toast while I was cleaning my face, I looked at myself in the mirror with a serious expression, I frowned and pointed at the mirror.

Don’t make her worry

I went back to the room after drying my face with a towel, sitting in the chair and looking at the coffee with toast and miso soup, the moment I drank the soup I let out a big sigh.

“You really mastered your cooking with the recipes in here, Evelyn”

“You think so? I cannot tell, I would need to taste the flavor of the original”

“Maybe in a restaurant… is like an inn”

“I see, do you sleep in there too?”

“Not really, but they are places where they can serve you food and sleep in there, but they are nothing like an inn”

“I understand”

We continue eating, and so, another day passed like normal until the night came again, I did the same, this time I did faster but my body was still shaking a lot, this time, I try to walk for a bit, it was a weird sensation, I saw the lights and touch the stone fence.

I stopped after a bit and entered the room the same way I did yesterday, but this time I only took ten minutes in the bathroom to calm me down.

The next day I walk from the window to the start of the house, and to the backyard.

“Evelyn was right in that, I am more scared of being inside than in the outside, maybe this could be easier than I thought”

I went back to the room and this time I rested in the bathroom of my room before going to bed again.

The four-day going outside wasn’t anything to stand out, this time I walked around the house one time and went back to the house, but this time, it was something different.

When I woke up, I heard water going down in a case, I was seeing the face of Evelyn worried and how she was putting a rope in my head.

I forgot what happen after, but when I was able to be conscious for a bit more time the day was about to end, I saw the orangish sky transform into the dark night and at my side was Evelyn sleeping, I sit down in my bed and took out the rag out my forehead and touch it.

“Fever…”

Evelyn woke up when I spoke and she held me by their checks.

“Azura! Are you ok?! What happened?! You were acting weird these days and now you have a fever?! I-I do not know any doctors but, we need to get you one soon! Sorry, I am so sorry that I did not look into one but I do not know how to use this, I am sorry, Azura, please do not dare to die!”

“W-Woah, e-easy, Evelyn, I’m not going to die, if my state before didn’t kill me this fever won’t do it either”

“Do not tell me to calm down!”

“Evelyn… did a lot of people die when they had fever in your world?”

Evelyn just nodded and I pat her head

“I understand your fear then, but don’t worry, unless I was having something that would deny me even breathing, I would need to go to the doctor…”

I really feel dizzy thought

“Really?...”

“Yeah…”

I stood up and went to the bathroom outside my room and opened the case of the window.

“You can open that?!”

“Yeah, here’s a thermometer”

I put the thermometer in my arm while I went back to my room and lay down.

“Can you give me a glass of water and more of your soup?”

“Y-Yes!”

Evelyn rushed to the kitchen having the things done for me

I’m such a fool, I didn’t need to make her worry like this…

The thermometer made a sound and it marked 38, when Evelyn came back, I showed the thermometer but she didn’t understand.

“38 is a mild fever, nothing to worry about that much, it probably goes away in a couple of days… I would still need a bit of medicine… I think I have some in my room…”

“I will search”

“You wouldn’t find it, Evelyn, you can read the language of here”

Evelyn clenched her teeth and let me search, I took my time as she saw me as if I was about to break at any moment, but I shook a box of medicine in front of her.

“This is the stuff”

I took a pill and drank water, and later a miso soup, Evelyn was sitting next to me and I rested my head on her arm.

“Do not worry, Evelyn… I am going to send you home… I promise…”

“Azura…”

Evelyn held me while I was slowly falling asleep again, she kissed me in the forehead and I could hear.

“Don’t worry, Azura… I will take care of myself… sorry for forcing into do this”