A Song I Forgot to Finish

And yeah…

Even though I rarely drink coffee, I had two cups today. The caffeine was making my body tremble. My heart felt like it was about to burst from my chest as I faced the fact that I’d soon be alone with Lyra—and telling her that story. I could feel each beat pounding all the way up to my throat.

To make things even more surreal, Lyra had suddenly said she wanted to visit my university. And the reason? “I said I’d come to the festival but couldn’t make it. So… can I at least check out the campus?”

After a short bus ride, we had arrived.

It was midday, and the occasional sun made the air a little warmer.
Now we were walking across the campus garden, where a thin layer of snow coated the ground like a soft blanket. Lyra seemed to be in good spirits overall. She was looking around with curiosity. But then, all at once, she seemed to remember the reason we were here—and turned her gaze to me.

“So? I’m listening.”

Her voice suddenly shifted, serious now. I never thought my past would be something worth being curious or concerned about. But the words had already left my mouth—I couldn’t back out now.

As we walked slowly around the campus grounds in the cold air, I began to speak.

“There was a girl I was really close to in high school. Outside of my regular group of friends, my connection with her was different from anyone else’s. We’d sit together during breaks, eat lunch side by side. After school, we’d walk together on the way to cram school.”

Lyra stopped walking and tilted her head slightly. She was listening carefully. Her face had clouded over a bit, as if she could already tell this wasn’t just some casual story.

Later, we found out we actually lived pretty close to each other. She had two close friends too, and they lived nearby as well. Even on weekends, we’d all go to the park near our homes and just sit and talk.

Naturally, with how close we were, the rumors started. No one ever said anything to our faces, but of course people would assume things when two people got that close so quickly.

But… contrary to what everyone thought, I never quite developed romantic feelings for her.”

“Quite?” Lyra asked softly.

“Yeah. I mean, I’ve only ever really been in love once in my life. And that was back in middle school, last year. I was just a dumb kid going through puberty.”

I swallowed. I didn’t even know why I was telling this story now. But maybe because there was no one else around—and enough time had passed—it was starting to feel like I was saying it more to free myself than anything else. So I went on:

“Compared to how I feel now, it was nothing. Still… I liked the way we were. I liked the vibe, the energy between us.”

Lyra looked down, toying with the buttons on her coat. She was avoiding my eyes, but I could tell she was listening. Her expression showed deep thought.

But then… she started saying stuff like, ‘You’re like my best friend,’ or ‘You’re like a brother to me.’ Her words drew a clear line. I wasn’t in love with her, but... I was hurt. Maybe even angry.”

Lyra’s brow furrowed a little. She didn’t seem shocked, but it clearly held her attention.

“All my life, people called me ‘sweet’ or ‘kind.’ And I always thought, ‘I’m like this with everyone.’ But when she said that… I don’t know. It hit me right in the heart.”

I stumbled a little. My chest tightened—my heartbeat felt uneven. But I wanted to keep going.

“I deleted her from my social media out of anger. I stopped sitting next to her, stopped talking. Day by day, we drifted apart.
But maybe… I just needed time to feel something.”

Recently, I talked to Ray about it. And he told me... she was actually in love with me back then. The reason she got so close was because she wanted me to make a move. When I cut her out of my life, she didn’t understand why—and she cried, a lot.”

Silence.

The snow crunched beneath our feet as we walked. Lyra lowered her head. I couldn’t see her eyes, but her pace had slowed. It was like the weight of my words was pulling on her spirit.

"You know what’s funny? I still think I was right. I don’t know… but yeah, looking back, I definitely overreacted.”

“Did you ever talk to her about it afterwards?”

“Nope. Actually, Ray asked her, ‘Is it okay if I tell Yuta about this?’ and she said, ‘Yeah, it’s fine.’
Ray didn’t tell me much more, but he did say, ‘If you ever text her… there’s still a chance.’”

I took a deep breath. Talking about something I’d never spoken out loud before… while walking in this cold… it was a lot.

Lyra was still beside me—quiet. Her head was slightly down, but her eyes were clearly gazing far into the distance.

“Do you think you’ll message her?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Probably not… but maybe… just to say sorry? I put a weight on her that she didn’t deserve. I want to make up for that.”

“But she’s the one who hurt you,” Lyra said suddenly. Her voice had an unexpected sharpness to it. She quickly looked away. Maybe it was all hitting a little too close to home.

“I mean… yeah, she did. But later, I found out that wasn’t her intention.”

Another brief silence settled between us. The whole world seemed wrapped in winter’s melancholy.

“That’s why I’ve been so deep in thought lately. Long story short, I was caught off guard by something I never expected—and I don’t know what to do.
What would you do?”

Asking Lyra this felt like stepping over some invisible line. But if there was even the slightest mutual connection between us, she wasn’t the kind of person who’d be bothered by something like that.

After a short pause, she answered.

“Well, first of all—I would never, ever treat someone I loved like that. Maybe it was about waiting for you to make a move, and maybe you didn’t give enough back in return. I don’t know. But even so... that wasn’t the right way to handle it.”

At least Lyra felt the same way...
No—she saw it even more clearly than I did.

“Yuta, the fact that you still think you were right, but you’re still going to apologize because you know she got hurt…” Lyra paused. Her cheeks were turning red. “That’s… really thoughtful. The fact that you’d do this—even when you were given, like, a free ‘chance’—I don’t know… You’re just a really, r-really good person.”

I felt embarrassed when she suddenly mentioned this and the way she said it. She took a deep breath, then continued.

“Anyway, if it were me, I’d probably do the same. It’s been, what, three years? People change a lot in three years. I think you should message her. Just apologize for your thoughts and actions. Let the conversation go wherever it goes.
If it flows, let it. If not, at least you’ll know you tried.”

Lyra’s words, so full of understanding, felt like the exact pieces I’d been searching for—finally falling into place.
The clearest path forward.

“Yeah… it’s like how you can listen to the same song a hundred times, but each time, it means something different.
Our actions, our feelings… they have layers, like lyrics that hit differently depending on when you hear them. Like they shape who we are.”

Wait! Had I gotten too poetic? I glanced at Lyra.

She was staring at me in shock.
Yup… too poetic. I’d officially turned into a weirdo.

“Sorry, that was really dumb.”

“N-no, Yuta. Sorry. It’s just… the way you said it was so deep, I didn’t know how to respond…” Lyra suddenly stopped and turned toward me. Her eyes looked a little glassy—like she might cry—but she was clearly trying to hide it. 

Her cheeks were flushed, not just from the cold, but maybe from embarrassment too. Her voice trembled, like she was trying to steady the weight of her own thoughts.

“I-it’s okay...”

“So, what are you going to do now?” Lyra smiled softly, leaning slightly toward me.

I took a deep breath. For the first time in a long time, I felt the burden of being the "main character" in these situations.

“I’m going to message her. Just explain the situation. Say thank you, and I’m sorry.”

“Good.”

I felt better. Clearer. Lighter.

“Thanks, Lyra.”
She had made that possible.

“Don’t mention it.” She smiled again. Looking into her green eyes and sharing this moment… I felt a kind of happiness I hadn’t felt in a long time.

“Oh, right, Yuta,” Lyra added.

“Yeah?”

She walked a few steps ahead of me and stopped. I stopped too.

“Falling in love is off-limits, okay?”

“…What?”

She said it without turning around. What did she mean by that? Her voice carried a strange heaviness. The wind blew her hair behind her beanie.

“I-it’s nothing. Now come on, show me more of the place. I’m curious about your instruments!”

“They’re probably locked up. But we can ask the security guard.”

“Mhm, okay!”

She was back to her usual energetic self. And no matter what I was feeling in the middle of this whirlwind of emotions…

Nothing about being with her felt unfamiliar.

And for the rest of the day, I gave Lyra a tour of the school and we had a light, easy conversation as we walked.
Honestly, for better or worse, it was one of the best days I’d had in a long time.

And it was all because of her.