8.1) Until We Return as One

Under a fully blue sky, Abigail Kovacs closed the trunk of the black SUV that she had arrived in a week ago. She bit her lip and kept her hands on the trunk, unable to shake the sadness in her heart. She didn’t want to leave so soon, but she knew her destiny lay elsewhere.

“I'm ready,” she called out to Victor who was already sitting in the front passenger seat of the car.

Then, she could hear the doors of the apartment open. Atlas and Mary walked down the front steps, with Julian following them while rubbing his eyes. Abigail was happy to see that they had managed to wake Julian.

“Everyone is here,” she said with a gentle smile. “I’m glad.”

Mary sighed. “It’s usually harder to wake him, but he shot out of bed once he heard you were leaving.”

“... I see. Thank you, Julian.”

Julian didn’t say anything. Mary nudged him, but he remained quiet. Mary nudged him again, this time more gently.

He lowered his head with a grim expression, and Abigail felt a strange wave of anxiety go through her heart. It felt wrong, seeing the normally cheerful boy in such a gloomy state.

Abigail walked forward. “Julian. I don’t know how you’re feeling right now, but…”

She bent her back forward and gently held his hands. “I wanted to thank you. You picked me back up on my feet and invited me to join your group of friends. You have the heart of a saint.”

Still, Julian didn’t speak.

Mary whispered in his ear. “Julian… brother. This might be your last chance to speak with her. I know it’s hard, but you might want to speak your mind now before you regret it.”

Julian’s eyes momentarily widened. Then, he seemed to grit his teeth.

He slowly opened his mouth. “I…”

“Yes?”

“... I thought you would stay with us a bit longer.”

It felt like her heart had been stabbed. She couldn’t lie about her own feelings, either.

She tightened her grip around his hands. “I wanted to stay longer too, Julian. I really did.”

Julian’s eyes brightened momentarily. “Right? You feel the same way. I knew it. So maybe you could leave tomorrow instead of today?”

She shook her head. “I’m sorry, Julian. Duty calls.” She spoke as softly as she could.

“But this is too soon. I didn’t realize you were going to leave today. If I knew, I wouldn’t have just sat around the table doing nothing yesterday. And now, I’m never going to see you again. This is… not right.”

She bit her lip. She hadn’t expected the conversation to go like this. So, she decided to change her plans.

“Listen, Julian. I need you to do something for me. Okay? This is my final request to you.”

She let go of his hands and reached into the inner pocket of her coat, pulling out a spare white scarf. Then, she gently wrapped it around his neck.

“This is… the scarf of a Leviathan?” Julian gently tugged at the end of the scarf.

“I need you to give this to someone later on down the line.”

Julian tilted his head. “Who?”

“You’ll know, soon. I’m sure of it. Make sure you give it lots of love until then, okay?”

“... Okay.”

Julian pulled the scarf closer, rubbing it on his lower face. Abigail smiled. She knew first hand how warm and fluffy the scarf was. Perhaps Julian didn’t need it, but she had decided that it would be best to leave it with him for now; she trusted him to pass it on to the person who would truly need it later.

Abigail turned to Mary, gently holding her shoulders. As their eyes met, Mary nodded, as if she understood her own assignment. But in case Mary had misunderstood, Abigail spoke softly.

“... Take care of your family, Mary.”

“I know,” Mary whispered back. “Thank you.”

Abigail nodded, then turned to Atlas. She opened her mouth, trying to think of something to say, but couldn’t. Atlas seemed to be one of the few people who understood how Abigail felt. In the end, all she could do was reach out for a handshake.

Atlas looked down at her hand and stared, perhaps taking in the significance of this as their final interaction together, then shook her hand firmly.

“Goodbye, Ms. Kovacs.”

Abigail chuckled. It was the first time Atlas had addressed her formally. She knew it was his way of paying his respects.

“Yes. Goodbye, Mr. Atlas.”

She opened her mouth, wishing to tell him more, but decided that it would be best if those words remained unspoken.

She turned and walked to the front door of the car, grabbing onto the door handle. But before she could enter, those unspoken words seemed to have crept up out of her larynx.

“... I hope that there is a world out there where we got to spend more time together,” she muttered.

And, even more unrealistic words sneaked out of her mouth.

“... I hope I see you guys again, somehow. Maybe in heaven, if it exists.”

She bit her lip. She had prevented Julian from bringing down the mood, yet here she was, making her departure even more depressing.

She clenched her fists and propped her forearm onto the door. She didn’t want to leave things like this. Julian was right to be sad. Things shouldn’t have ended this way.

For the first time in a long time, she had momentarily felt like she was a part of a family. But she was leaving, because of her ‘duties’. And she should never be able to return to them because they would all be dead soon.

Perhaps for the first time in her life, she cursed her ideals. She could have retired like Rutger had, but had chosen not to out of her own stubbornness. In the end, what awaited her was another battlefield, where she would desperately run around trying to save as many people as she could.

Alone.

And in a moment of weakness, Abigail turned back around, about to speak things she shouldn’t say about her ideals, trying to abandon her duty. But before she could, Julian called out to her.

“Ms. Kovacs.”

“Y-yes?”

Julian slammed his fist into his heart, then yelled in a tough and hot-blooded voice.

“UNTIL WE RETURN AS ONE!!!”

Abigail blinked. “Huh?”

Julian smiled brightly. “Until we return as one, right? That’s the Leviathans’ motto. We’ll meet again when it’s all over. Isn’t that right, you guys?”

Mary sighed softly and shook her head, with her hand on her hips. “How naive… but yes, that would be nice. We still haven’t finished even one percent of Julian’s bucket list, Abigail. When you come back, let’s try to get that up to at least five percent? Please?”

Atlas tilted his head, seemingly unsure what was going on. Then, Mary nudged him. “I know you’re just playing dumb, Atlas. Come on. Say something.”

Atlas sighed, but after a pause, he added his own earnest words. “You’re probably going to not go down quietly, even if it means that you won't die a peaceful death. That's just the kind of person you are, Abigail. But know this…”

He slammed his heart twice. “I’ll be fighting until the end, too. You’re not alone. We’ll all be there with you in spirit. So give it your best shot.”

He closed his eyes. “And who knows? Maybe we’ll meet again in the afterlife...”

“... But, well, it might be a bit of a hassle to find each other again,” he added.

Julian pouted. “Oh, come on. Why’d you have to add that?”

Atlas shrugged. “What? It’s true. Think about it. Eight billion people…”

Mary tapped her chin. “Maybe heaven will have a phone book?”

Julian sighed. “That only works if phones exist in heaven to begin with…”

As the three began their banter, Abigail laughed, unable to properly process the absurdity of their discussion. Then noticing her quiet outburst, the three of them turned their heads toward her with expectant looks. And Abigail knew what they wanted to hear.

She slammed her fist into her heart with a smile. “Until we return as one, you guys. We’ll meet again. I have no doubt.”

Atlas closed his eyes with a grin. Mary nodded. Julian gave her a thumbs up, as if telling her that it’ll all be okay. There were no words left to be spoken.

Abigail turned, finally entering the car and closing the door. As she started the engine, she remembered that Victor had been in the car the whole time.

Victor crossed his arms, closing his eyes. “Looks like you’ve made a lot of friends.”

“Is that jealousy I sense?” Abigail said, waving behind her as she drove them away from the curbside.

He looked out the window, his elbow on his armrest. “I won’t lie… maybe I am. I wonder if I could have been friends with them.”

“I’m sure you would fit right in. I’ll properly introduce you when we reunite,” she said quixotically.

“I didn’t take you for someone who actually believes in heaven,” he said.

She laughed. “I don’t, Victor. It’s the thought that counts.”

“Oh… I see.” He cleared his throat. “Well, in that case. I would like that. But I suppose that’s not today.”

“No… I suppose not,” she whispered.

Abigail sighed softly. “Well, it’ll be just the two of us until we get you to your sister. We have some time for ourselves. So talk to me. The way you used to.”

“The way I used to?”

“Make me feel accompanied, Victor. The way you would when we were younger. I want you to try and remember that person you used to be.”

A silence passed. Then, Victor sighed and leaned back on the chair.

“... I’ll try.”