Submerged

"Ya know, I've been with Fuhai's squad a few months now, and if there's one thing I've learned, it's that he's more random than a cow's spots. But hey, he let you go. I'd call that a win, wouldn't ya?"

Hoshina pouts. "I feel insulted."

"I want to punch him more than ever." Kaji adds.

The guard clears his throat.

"Let's focus, 'kay? What are ya two gonna do from now on? Cause Fuhai and I gotta keep protecting this island from the invaders even if they are your friend's friend."

"I want to stop this war." Kaji says.

Hoshina nods. "I agree. I'll try talking with my father, figure out why the war is still going on, and convince him to put an end to it."

"What if he refuses?" Kaji asks.

"I'll think about it once it happens. For now I need to go back before they start another attack. Kaji, let's—"

"Let's meet again. This same spot, tonight." She nods.

"Why the night?" the guard asks. "Why not tomorrow morning?"

"Her father is… let's say strict." Kaji looks at her. "Depending on how your negotiations go with him, we'll talk about what to do after we meet back."

"I agree." She looks at the guard. "Thank you for giving us your support during the previous confrontation. I'm glad Kaji has good friends."

"He's not my…" Kaji doesn't end the sentence. "Take care and have a safe trip."

Hoshina walks up and hugs him without warning.

"You take care as well." Kaji looks like he's about to catch fire, but somehow manages to remain silent, and simply waves at Hoshina as she goes towards the aircraft.

༻──⋆༺𓆩⋆𓆪༻⋆──༺

Kaji is following Raba through the forest towards the capital where his family now lives.

As they reach the more luxurious section, moving from wooden homes to stone ones, several guards glare at Kaji. The only reason they're not questioning him is because of Raba.

"Kaji, ya know, I've been thinking a lot since this war started, and since you… almost died n'stuff."

"Yeah, yeah, you want to make up. Fine. I can forgive most of the things you did because I've done as much to you."

"R-really? You gonna let it go like that?"

"I've dealt with worse." He hints at his right arm. "Still, don't expect me to be all buddy-buddy with you. I'm just willing to tolerate your mug for the sake of fighting bigger problems."

"Thanks, I promise I won't wrong you like that ever again." Kaji rolls his eyes. "And, ya know, if you ever feel lonely, you can come hang with me and my pals."

"If I'm ever that desperate, maybe. For now I'll take dealing with Tokei any other day of the week." Raba flinches. "What's up? Did my words rub you the wrong way?"

"N-no, nothing. Ermm… give your ma a hug when you see'er, kay?"

"What's gotten into you?"

"Oi, what's up with your arm by the way? It looks very cool, ya know?"

"Don't change the subject."

"Is it heavy? Doesn't it hurt? Can ya like, move the fingers like a normal hand or somethin'?"

"Fine, I'll drop the topic, okay?"

…

The rest of the walk goes in silence, until both get to a very big house.

"Here we are. Your ma should be somewhere on the second floor."

"What about Gurumi? Also, how come they're living in such a mansion. What happened?"

"She should be the one to explain ya this kinda stuff. I'll be down the street so, ya know, you can find me if you want someone to talk to."

He leaves at a light pace, waving back. His forced smile disappears as he goes to face forward.

༻──⋆༺𓆩⋆𓆪༻⋆──༺

From metal wreckage back to stone prisons. Kaji never imagined he'd miss his old hay roof, though the nostalgia likely stems more from a longing for a time before the war.

Either way, if this is where his family lives now, then it is where he'll live as well.

"Gurumi. Are you home?" He misses them both, but he wants to make up with her first.

Last time they spoke was the day before the second battle, when they had their sibling squabble. He wants to tell her all the things he didn't dare to back then.

And I'll start by saying how glad I am she was trying to help me open up.

It's thanks to her that he ended up becoming so close with Hoshina, because otherwise he would have killed her from behind in the burning forest.

He finds no one on the first floor.

She must be out doing chores, nothing unusual.

Kaji is forcefully ignoring a small part of his mind that tries to remind him about the weird way Raba was acting. He wants to convince himself he's just overthinking things.

Stair by stair, he makes his way up to the second floor, where he starts checking the different empty rooms. Garasa, his mother, is in the last one.

He flinches upon seeing her. Bedridden, both hands bandaged from biting her fingers, and thin like she hasn't eaten in days.

It reminds him of Hoshina, and in a similar fashion, the sight makes the world start spinning. He holds onto the wall and takes deep breaths.

"W-who's there? Fuhai?"

Fuhai? Why would she assume it's him?

"No." She says. "You're someone else. Who are you?"

He takes a deep breath. "It's me, mom, I'm back."

Her grey eyes widen and her mouth opens. No words come out.

Before she needs to say it, Kaji comes closer and hugs her. She's trembling, and soon starts sobbing.

"Sorry I worried you so much. It took me a long time to find a way back." Neither of them let's go for a while.

"I'm just happy you're back. I was so lonely without you two." Kaji's breath gets caught.

Don't think about it.

You're misunderstanding.

It's surely nothing.

"I'm glad…" she sobs, "that at least you're alive." His mother loosens her arms. Kaji takes an additional moment to do so.

He's now the one trembling. "S-say… w-where…" No. Ask something else. "Where's Tokei? I expected he would've already come out of nowhere to annoy me as usual."

His heart clenches at her expression.

"Tokei also…" She blinks and raises her head. "Did… did no one tell you?"

Tell me what?

He cannot say the words.

The room is starting to spin.

His breath is speeding up. He tries to contain it.

If she hears it she will continue what she's about to say.

It's like the whole room is underwater.

Asphyxiating.

Yet, he dreads the moment this ends.

Because the idea of what might come next threatens to shatter his whole being.

His mother opens her mouth.

The words that come out are muffled.

…

She says it.

…

A truth that drains all air from him.

Every muscle in his body goes stiff.

He can't scream.

He can't breathe.

Everything mixes into a blur.

…

Gurumi.

His dear sister.

She'd been by his side for as long as he can remember.

And it felt like she'd always be there.

She should have.

What happened doesn't matter.

Why it happened even less.

He'll never see her again.

Her smile won't be there to sweeten his sour mood.

He won't get the chance to make up.

Won't see her grow into a little genius that will outsmart him at every chance.

Nor will she bring home a man Kaji will hate from first sight, and fight several times before deciding he's worthy.

Kaji will never see the joy on her face when she builds her own family, with all her kids being as cute as she was when young.

Nothing of that.

Never.

Ever.

༻──⋆༺𓆩⋆𓆪༻⋆──༺

At some point, the mess of colors that make up the world takes form once again.

Kaji is lying on the ground, his whole face wet.

His mother is embracing his head. She's on the ground with him.

Her drops are getting his hair damp as well.

Neither of them say anything.

They stay together for a long, long time.

Until both their faces dry out.

…

༻──⋆༺𓆩⋆𓆪༻⋆──༺

Kaji goes outside to get some fresh air, yet breathing doesn't get any easier.

A familiar silhouette comes close. He doesn't have the strength to despise him right now.

"Hi, Kaji." Fuhai's tone is colder than usual. "I'm guessing you already know everything."

Kaji merely nods.

"Nothing you wanna say to me?" Fuhai asks. Kaji shakes his head. "Huh, not gonna explode at me for failing on my duties?"

"If you've got nothing meaningful to say, leave me alone."

"There is something, actually. I know I'm a scumbag. I don't regret it and I'm not ashamed. I live life my own way, and I don't care about anybody else."

Fuhai pauses to get a drink before continuing.

"Except for one person."

He sits on the ground, and invites Kaji to do the same.

"If you get the urge to punch me after a few words, know that this is the one time I'll allow it."

He clears his throat.

"After you disappeared, I took care of your family, as you can see. And I totally did it with ulterior motives. I won't go into details as to what I did to your mother, but I'll say that, despite knowing she hated every second of it, I didn't contain myself."

He pauses.

"This is the part where you can punch. You sure you wanna miss the chance?"

Kaji nods.

"Alright, suit yourself. After what happened to your sister, for some reason, I couldn't bring myself to lay another finger on her."

He pauses again. Another drink.

"I don't know why, and I don't really care. All I want now is for her to smile again. Not at me, not because of me. I don't even need to see it. Just knowing she does is enough."

He points a finger at Kaji.

"And you're the only one who can grant my wish. So whatever crazy plan you and your girlfriend come up with, as long as the final result includes Garasa's happiness, I'm in."

Fuhai gets up and dusts his clothes.

"That's all from me. Anything you need me to do right now?" Kaji slowly shakes his head. "You sure? I've gotten quite influential over the last few months."

"You can't bring me what I need."

"Really? And what's that, lad?"

"Hoshina. I need to see her."