The gorilla's tears

Now 3-0 in the hole and already having lost the match, all the New Republic of Paeonia could play for now was to not get swept. However, with how Biljana's game was going, a sweep looke very likely to happen.

Biljana had opened the game by moving her pawn to c4, to which Snežana responded to by moving her pawn to e5. Things seemed to continue normally with knight c3 and knight f6 being played, but then Biljana decided to move her pawn to f4.

"Um, what?" Snežana thought as she captured the pawn at f4 with her e-pawn.

This opening was known as the English Opening: Two Knights, Macedonian Variation. For some reason, Biljana had a large affinity for the move, believing it to be something special.

"When I play this move, it just feels right. It's like I'm really Macedonian. ...Ngh, damn headache. Happens every time I try and think about Macedonia. But I can feel it, Paeonia encompassed the Greek Macedonia, so maybe that's why... Ah whatever, muscle's my game anyway," Biljana thought as she moved her pawn to d4.

Snežana responded in kind by moving her pawn to d5, giving Biljana the chance to capture the pawn at f4 with her bishop. At this point, the game was relatively even, and became ever more so after Snežana moved her bishop to b4. But the moment Biljana made the seemingly innocent move of pawn to a3, Black was suddenly much better, so long as...

"Check. Talk about a monkey, though I guess you're more of a gorilla with those roided muscles of yours," Snežana taunted as she captured the knight at c3 with her bishop.

The moment those words were uttered, everyone on the Paeonian team went silent.

"Oi... WHO THE FUCK YOU CALLING A GORILLA!?" Biljana shouted as she attempted to leap across the table and slug Snežana to death.

However, her would-be rampage was put to an abrupt stop thanks to Raymond's sudden appearance. Pinning her down, he held her in place until she calmed down enough to resume play. By that time, Vlatka and Nela had already won, meaning Biljana would now have to win on demand along with Barbro.

"I'm gonna fuck you up for that. NOBODY calls me a gorilla! I'm beautiful! I'm a fucking maiden, YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH MUSCLES THEN YOU CAN GO FUCK YOURSELF!" Biljana shouted as she captured the bishop at c3 with her b-pawn.

"Loud, loud. I'd love to tell you to stuff a gag in your mouth, but I respect the rules, unlike you monkeys," Snežana thought as she mockingly smirked and captured the pawn at c4 with her d-pawn.

Not liking the smirk she was receiving, Biljana violently slammed her pawn down on e3, causing the entire board and table to quake.

"Well someone's pissed. Guess that's typical gorilla behavior," Snežana thought as she moved her bishop to e6.

Slam!

Snežana rolled her eyes as Biljana slammed her queen down on a4. "CHECK! Now I can tell you all I-"

But before she could finish, Snežana moved her pawn to c6.

"DON'T TRY MOVING PIECES TO TRY AND INTERRUPT ME!" Biljana shouted as she slammed her rook down on b1.

"Well look at that. She's not stupid enough to check again, but is dumb enough to keep yapping. Wonder how long it'll be until the arbiters DQ her," Snežana thought as she moved her pawn to b5.

Much to her disappointment though, Biljana decided to quiet down and move her queen to c2. It wasn't the end of the world though as Snežana could sense she was winning anyway and continued to cement the fact by moving her bishop to d5. Then came the gift only a gorilla like Biljana could deliver, queen f5.

"Well pack it up, it's back to Skopje's zoo with you," Snežana thought as she castled king's side.

Biljana had the opposite opinion, and continued her assault by moving her queen to g5. Though all Snežana saw from it was bark, and not a hint of bite, leading to her ignoring it completely to move her queen to a5.

It was then that Biljana began to sweat ever so slightly as she made her choice and chose to defend her c-pawn by moving her knight to e2, allowing Snežana to capture the pawn at a3 with her queen.

"Well isn't that ironic, you forsook the very pawn that first sent you on this spiral to doom. I guess apes are somewhat self-aware after all," she thought as Biljana moved her queen to e5.

Sensing an opportunity, Snežana moved her knight to a6, and with Biljana beginning to lose the rhythm and play rook d1, Snežana felt good about the chances of her trap springing successfully, and moved her knight to d4. Biljana captured said knight without hesitation with her c-pawn, but the moment Snežana captured said pawn with her queen, and delivered another check, Dunja won her game, which led to Biljana having a lapse in judgement and move her knight to c3.

"Oh look at that! You want another check, and to be another piece down! Is this the peak of simian intellect? Must be!" Snežana mockingly cackled as she captured the knight at c3 with her queen.

Biljana mustered all her self-control to avoid snapping as she seethed with fury while moving her king to e2. Snežana on the other hand was cool and in control as she tightened the screws on her mating net by moving her knight to e4. More sweat began to run down Biljana's face as she moved her king to f3. Snežana's smirk only getting smugger as she moved her queen to c2.

"Ah, fuck it! I'm gonna take everything you got!" Biljana shouted aloud as she captured the pawn at c4 with her bishop.

The nearby arbiter rolled his eyes, but was stopped by Raymond from interfering. A fact Snežana manages to pick up on.

"Ah, you got really lucky with your stupidity. The arbiters were about to cancel your game if ot weren't for the fact your in the CHECK mate sinkhole," Snežana snickered as she moved her knight to g5.

"SHUT UP! GO FUCK YOURSELF!" Biljana shouted as she slammed her king down on g4.

"Nope, a check and a pawn as toll for the pawn you took, says I," Snežana taunted as she captured the pawn at g2 with her queen.

More sweat began to pour down Biljana's face as she desperately moved her bishop to g3.

"Hello there. Check," Snežana taunted once more as she moved her queen to h3.

"You said shit about tolls? Well now I got your knight! Shit's even!" Biljana nervously smiled as she captured the knight at g5 with her king.

"Oh no, the gorilla can only focus on material value instead of actual strategy," Snežana sneered as she delivered another check by moving her pawn to f6.

One second later, Biljana violently captured the pawn at f6 with her queen, sending said piece flying off. Snežana shot her a disappointed frown as she captured said queen with her rook, but that was as far as Biljana could go when it came to holding back her raw anger.

"CHECK! ТИ ЕБЕНИ ГЛАСНИ ХРВАТСКИ ЕБИ КУВЧКИ КУРВА КОРВА ГОМНА ЈАДЕТЕ ЕБЕ [YOU FUCKING FILTHY CROATIAN FUCK BITCH WHORE SLUT SHIT-EATING FUCK]!" she shouted as she violently captured the bishop at d5 with her bishop, sending said piece flying off like a missile.

However, what had everyone's eyes widening wasn't the fact that an intercontinental ballistic bishop had just whizzed by, but rather what Biljana had just said.

"... What was that? I've never heard that language before," a nearby Okisato thought.

And he wasn't the only one. Not Snežana, Ofelio, Raĥelo, Nela, Dunja, Dijana, Nevena, or even Biljana herself fully understood what had been said.

"Ah, the monkey's native tongue. Now how will this affect the monkey queen herself?" Vlatka thought as she turnd her gaze to Barbro.

Like all the others, Barbro had a look of utter shock plastered on her face, but unlike the others, it was because Biljana had uttered something that she shouldn't have been capable of speaking.

"The hell!? I programmed the DESPER to remove all traces of that embarrassing fake history, so why the hell could she speak that!?" she angrily thought.

Snežana, meanwhile decided to return her focus to the game, and captured the bishop at d5 with her c-pawn. As for Biljana, all her anger had evaporated, replaced with a cold and bewildered sweat.

"Wha- What was that? It just came naturally, but what was I speaking? I- I wanted to insult her... Did I?" Biljana thought as she moved her pawn to e4.

"Checkmate," Snežana grumbled as she moved her pawn to h6, winning the game.

That outburst by Biljana had successfully halted Snežana's taunting, but it still didn't change the fact that Croatia had just swept Paeonia 4-0, completely humiliating them. As the reality set in, Biljana began to cry and apologize to her teammates.

"And the monkeys got swept back into their pen at the Skopje zoo. Oh if only you could be dunked in that blueberry filth once more," Vlatka snickered as she and her team walked away, leaving the Paeonians in tears.

The full game:

White: Biljana Ilievska (2106) Black: Snežana Zebić (2101)

1. c4 e5

2. Nc3 Nf6

3. f4 exf4

4. d4 d5

5. Bxf4 Bb4

6. a3 Bxc3+

7. bxc3 dxc4

8. e3 Be6

9. Qa4+ c6

10. Rb1 b5

11. Qc2 Bd5

12. Qf5 O-O

13. Qg5 Qa5

14. Ne2 Qxa3

15. Qe5 Na6

16. Rd1 Nb4

17. cxb4 Qxb4+

18. Nc3 Qxc3+

19. Ke2 Ne4

20. Kf3 Qc2

21. Bxc4 Ng5+

22. Kg4 Qxg2+

23. Bg3 Qh3+

24. Kxg5 f6+

25. Qxf6 Rxf6

26. Bxd5+ cxd5

27. e4 h6#

Match score:

Croatia: 4 New Republic of Paeonia: 0

Croatia wins 4-0