Chapter 21: Dinner and Tavern

~ Dave ~

I feel uneasy all afternoon as I take care of various things. I check on Berserker, who’s sleeping soundly like a mountain, although I suppose he’s more like a dormant volcano that’ll surely erupt once he wakes up. I coerce Lucy into shopping for girl clothes, asking for a few shirts, dresses, two sets of pajamas, and I help Lucy prevent Lance from ‘helping’ her. Letting him handle any of that wouldn’t be a good idea, especially not the underwear. I request that Lucy buy some in case the brat likes them. I’ll feel a little better if she doesn’t dress like a bloody demon after all.

I task the sulking Lance with food-related errands before checking back with the Adventurer’s Guild and a few weapon shops and blacksmiths to check for new weapons and shields for Lance and me, as we both lost our equipment.

When I’m back, empty-handed but orders placed, I help Lucy prepare some cutlets before going upstairs to get our guest. Regarding cooking, it usually falls on Lucy and me to prepare meals, although Kenneth also helps when he’s around. And on the rare occasion that Beatrix hangs out at the guildhouse, we can usually expect magic to explode on our palates. Lance, by the way, is utterly useless in the kitchen.

Anyway…

When I unlock the door, I find the brat on the sofa, halfheartedly skimming the pages of the huge language book Kenneth left her with. The room has an odd mood, and something about her face looks slightly different from what I remember, but little do I care.

“Come, dinner is ready,” I say, waiting a bit to see if she understands.

“Mhmm,” she replies and follows me wordlessly.

At the dinner table, life returns to her expressions, though. Kenneth was right: Demons eat terrible food. The cutlet, prepared only in a simple and subtle sauce and seasoning, clearly is to the demon kid’s liking, although I can tell she attempts to hide the explosions on her taste buds. This is nothing compared to the food they serve at the inn around the corner. I’m afraid to take her there, though.

Once our bellies are filled, the mood improves and, much to my regret, Lucy reminds me of something I said in the heat of battle once.

“Say, Dave? Care to join us at the tavern later? I seem to recall you saying the bill’s on you for the rest of the month, but I wonder how that works out if we’re drinking without you?”

While she’s a ferocious warrior on the field, she’s a dangerous tiger whenever we’re not. Her teases are as top-notch as her skills as an assassin. Sometimes I wonder if she’s low-key interested in me beyond work, but I’ve never dared to ascertain it. Considering she’s also successful in the red light district whenever she works there, she has the attributes to woo a man like me, however…

She’s just not my type. I’m uncertain and submissive a lot of times. With her being a dominant tiger, I’d end up as prey.

“Ah, right. I did say that, ahaha,” I reply. I can’t remember the last time I laughed, even if I did so out of nervousness. The past few days have been rough on me. They have been rough on everyone. A good drink at the tavern may be precisely what I need, especially if it means I don’t need to babysit that demon brat.

And thanks to the King’s generosity, I should have the pocket money for a few rounds today. Moreover, the most significant would-be drain on my portemonnaie is currently sleeping. I’ve decided.

“Sure, why not?”

But before we leave, I need Lucy for a few other things. As a woman, there are a few things she’s better suited for than I am. I already stepped on a landmine in the toilet earlier. I don’t want to lose another leg.

“But before we do, could you help me with… well, her?”

“I can help, boss!” Lance immediately butts in and I let him talk just to see what nonsense he’s bringing forth this time. “It’s about tuckin’ her in, ain’t it? Leave it to me! I’ll sing a lullaby, tell her a good night story, anything, boss!”

“You can’t even speak demon tongue, you fool,” Lucy sighs, shoving her brother in exasperation. “What do you need, Dave?”

“Well…” I hesitate. Then, I explain the dilemma I ended up with earlier.

“I see…” Lucy nods contemplatively before deciding to roast me. “Men truly are nothing but fools. Sure, I’ll consider that part of my duty from now on. You, uhh, have to relay that to her though, I also can’t speak demon tongue.”

“I’ll also need you to make sure she washes herself properly and puts on the clothes you bought her properly,” I explain while giving her a ‘sorry for dumping this on you’ expression. Thankfully, she doesn’t seem to mind nearly as much as I do.

“No problem, I understand why she’d be wary of you. She’s at that age already. It’s embarrassing when she’s exposed.”

“Thanks, Lucy. Truly.”

“You’re in my debt, though.”

See? This is why I couldn’t ever get along with her beyond work!

After thanking my guildmate for accepting this commission from me and lamenting that I stepped on another landmine, I turn back to the kid.

“Bath now, then new clothes, then bed,” I tell her after saying the human words so she can hear them. “Lucy, help, if, need, but, Lucy, no, demon, language.”

The brat perks up at this.

“Ffffank juuu,” she babbles awkwardly, then switching to her language. “If I need to go to the toilet, can Lucy help too?”

My hand immediately moves to my forehead as I facepalm.

“Yes, Lucy, help, too.”

She’s so silly…

Lucy soon takes her to the washing room while Lance, in an attempt to make himself useful, adds more firewood to the fireplace. I can almost hear him mutter ‘but I wanted to bathe her too…’ to himself, but I pretend I haven’t heard anything. I’m not interested in his delusions, and despite my hatred for the kid, the kind of stuff Lance might be into is… Well, even the brat doesn’t deserve it.

After ensuring the brat is clean, wearing her new pink pajamas, and locked away in the bedroom, I take Lance and Lucy to the next tavern.

Whatever happened after that, when I wake up in the morning, all that’s left of the party is a head-splitting headache and the subtle stench of vomit.

Must have been a good one, then. Shame I can’t remember, ugh.