Reunions Suck

"It's even more disgusting than I could have ever imagined!" Jethro exclaimed, staring up at the massive pyramid structure the size of a city block that stood before us. "Those bears even went as far as carving their own image into the top."

I rolled up beside him. "You really hate pyramids, don't you."

"Pyramids are nothing but trouble. I'll be able to rest easy once this thing is a pile of rubble." He reached into his duffle bag, which was starting to seem nearly bottomless. "Hopefully I brought enough C-4." In his hands he held a large block of white putty and some wire.

"I highly doubt one block is going to do the-." Before I could finish he dumped out a pile of C-4 the size of a person out of his bag.

"Go search the area for your alien friend, I'm going to start rigging this thing to blow... But don't even think about pulling any fast ones. I still can blow you up at any time I feel like it." He started molding one of the C-4 blocks into the shape of a teddy bear.

"Try not to have too much fun while I'm gone." I sarcastically remarked as I wheeled off.

It was eerily quiet, as there wasn't a single person around other than Jethro and me. From what I could tell, it seemed like the Beary Bandits demolished this whole block to build this pyramid. All the surrounding businesses seemed to be abandoned, with the exception of one in particular that caught my optical sensor...

In front of me was a Bearffalo Wild Wings, which was a chain of sports bar restaurants that existed even before the bear people took over. Unlike all the other run down structures in the area, this one had lights that were illuminated on the inside. That, though, wasn't what caught my attention. It was the fact that all the windows appeared to have been shattered from the outside in.

Slowly and cautiously, I rolled through the metal frame that was once a glass door. All the chairs and tables in the establishment had been knocked over as if there was some kind of struggle. However, there were no bodies or even any blood.

"Danger... Bearly able… Survival…" A disembodied voice suddenly came from near the bar area.

"..." I remained quiet.

"The end... Bearmanity... Papa Bear."

"Is someone ther-..." I paused, feeling a little dumb. On the bar counter sat a small radio, which appeared to be the source of the noise.

Scurrying around, near the radio, I noticed a handful of lone roaches. Whatever happened here, it seemed that the mass of roaches from earlier was involved...

Searching the dining area for a bit longer, there was still no trace of anyone or anything other than roaches. I wasn't even sure why I was trying so hard to look. The chances of someone like Eddy surviving this long on his own was slim to none...

He may be a pain, but I kind of miss that paranoid shut-in.

I paused for a moment, slightly taken back, as those thoughts seemed to have manifested themselves into my head on their own. Why the heck did I deep down even go this far to find him? All he's done was screw up and be a giant pain in my (metaphorical) butt.

I would have continued pondering this, but something suddenly redirected my focus... The individual cock roaches on the counter began all crawling in the same direction. Following them, they led the way into the men's bathroom, where they crawled through the grates at the bottom of the wooden door. Lucky for me, this was a push door. Prodingly, I pressed my plastic frame against the door and carefully eased it open...

The scene inside was a bit concerning. Inside the urinal, there was a soccer ball sized group of roaches, which was growing in size by the second as more and more roaches piled on.

They seemed to take notice of me because the moment I peeked into the bathroom, they collectively left the urinal and moved in my direction. I attempted to back out, but the mass, still huddled together, rolled over me and absorbed me inside of them, which I remained for about a minute. The roaches crawled over every square inch of me. They even went as far as crawling through my suction slot into my dust pan. After finally realizing that I'm an inedible machine, they subsided and crawled out to the street.

Quickly, at my top speed, I made my way back to Jethro in order to warn him. When I finally managed to find him on the other side of the pyramid, there was a scene in front of me that I had not anticipated...

"Nice try alien, you thought you could sneak up on me!" Jethro asserted, as he was holding a person in a headlock.

"Uncle Jethro, it's me." The person he was restraining managed to eke out.

Jethro squeezed harder, causing his captives face to turn purple from oxygen loss. "Your alien shapeshifting tricks aren't going to work on me... At the very least transform into someone believable like my jiu jitsu instructor, not my deadbeat idiot nephew."

Nephew!?... "Wait a second, you're Eddy's uncle!"

Jethro glared at me. "Just as I predicted, the moment you find your alien friend, you try stabbing me in the back."

"I can assure you that nobody is trying to pull anything on you... Also you should probably let Eddy go before you suffocate him." I attempted to calm him.

Eddy's eyes looked like they were about to pop out of his head, as he was on the verge of passing out from air loss.

"You're lucky I can't reach my detonator because I'd have already blown you and this dang pyramid up!" Jethro still stubbornly refused to listen.

"Unc-..." Eddy gasped as he tapped Jethro's arm.

I rolled up to him and started ramming myself into his shin. "You're seriously going to kill him, Jethro! Just let him go, I can explain everything later. There's something more pressing we need to deal with right now."

"And what's tha-..." He suddenly paused, as he stared over in the distance. His grip around Eddy's throat released.

Eddy fell to his knees, inhaling deeply, as his face returned to its normal color. "I missed you too, Uncle Jethro."

As much as I wanted to start questioning Eddy and Jethro about their relationship, we had more life or death matters to attend to...

Just on the other side of the pyramid, roaches from all over the city were accumulating into a mass that was close in size to the pyramid itself. By the second, it continued growing and before long, it started to take a peculiar shape. A shape that almost resembled a tyrannosaurus rex.

Its dinosaur-like head, which was made from a collective of roaches, peeked over the top of the pyramid and let out a deafening roar.

Jethro looked back at me, tipping his head, yieldingly. "I'll give you the benefit of the doubt for now, alien, but you're going to have some explaining to do."

He picked up his flamethrower, just as the t-roach spit a clump of roaches in our direction. Just before they managed to hit any of us, Jethro torched them to a pile of ashes.

Eddy looked over to him in awe. "Do I get a cool weapon, Uncle Jethro?"

"No, not a chance. Even if you were actually my nephew, I wouldn't trust him with so much as a plastic butter knife." He wouldn't even entertain him.

A boom suddenly erupted from behind us, as an explosion struck the t-roach in the shoulder. Its focus shifted away from us and over to its new adversaries. Rolling out from behind a set of buildings was a brigade of neon green tanks with teddy bear faces painted all over them. A voice spoke over a megaphone. "You roaches should bearrender now or face the full force of the Beary Bandits!"

Only temporarily stunned, the t-roach's injuries were immediately healed, as new roaches filled in any damage. The three of us were currently trapped in the crossfire of the two factions.

Quickly, I glanced around attempting to find somewhere we could take cover. "Over there, there's an opening between the bricks on the pyramid."

"No way, I'm going inside of any pyramid, especially when I’m just a button push away from blowing it up." Jethro objected.

"This isn't the time to argue! You can blow it up after we're not at the center of a battlefield."

Once again another tank fired a round at the roaches, as the whole group of tanks advanced forward. The t-roach retaliated by tossing a glob of roaches toward the tanks. A portion of it would have hit us if Jethro hadn't been quick on the trigger of his flamethrower.

"Alright, fine, but you better not try any more alien tricks." Jethro finally understood the danger we were in.

"Wait a second. Can we really trust this bear guy, Uncle Jethro?" At the worst possible moment Eddy felt the need to voice his concerns.

"What do you mean bear-..." Being away from Eddy nearly made me forget that he wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed. Aggressively, I spun in circles until the hand band with panda ears that Jethro put on me earlier fell off.

Eddy's eyes began wide, as he picked me up in his arms and hugged me. "Rom! I can't believe it, you're alive... And you can talk now.”

Irritably, I flipped on my suction, which sucked at his face. "Now’s not the time for a reunion, you moron."

As another mass of roaches came inches from hitting us, Eddy and Jethro finally got the cue and made a break for the pyramid. The three of us quickly squeezed into the narrow crevice, where we were safe for the time being...