10.2) Finale II ~ If I Can Be With You

Victor Truman stepped out onto the patio, drinking water from a mug. Alice was sitting out on the bench with her hands on her lap, watching the night sky above. The stars were bright, and the moon was revealed in its full glory.

Victor knew that this was the last night before everything would end. He was the only one who knew, thanks to his momentary glimpse into infinity. All that remained was for them to fall asleep. Then the universe would take their souls.

He finished drinking his water and set it down on a nearby table. As Victor sat next to his sister, she pressed her neck and spoke softly, taking deep breaths between her sentences.

“Do you see those two constellations… brother?... It’s Perseus and Andromeda… You can see them lying right next to each other.”

Victor was slowly becoming more used to hearing her speak–and it seemed that her voice, too, was getting softer each time she used it. Or perhaps that’s just what he wanted to think; perhaps it was just in his head. He had gotten quite good at lying to himself over the years.

“I don’t know constellations. I was never into those kinds of things.”

“Really?... Ms. Kovacs would talk to me about them all the time... She never told you?”

“I guess not. I didn’t know she had that side to her.”

Alice smiled. “I suppose she would have been embarrassed to tell you… that Andromeda reminded her of you.”

Victor blinked, then frowned. “What? Andromeda? Why am I Andromeda? She’s the girl–I should be Perseus.”

Alice laughed softly. “I do agree with her on this one… She was always your knight in shining armor… And she was the one who brought you back to me.”

Victor sighed. “Fine. I’ll be her princess.”

Alice leaned her head on his shoulder. Victor softly exhaled, looking up at the sky. It was impossible for him to see the same constellations Abigail had seen. Still, he knew that they were somewhere up there. Perhaps that was enough.

“I wonder if she’s alright,” Victor quietly said. “She’s planning on dying without seeing us again.”

“Yes… She told me she wanted to give the two of us some alone time… That’s just her style… worrying about us… but never realizing we worry for her.”

She sighed softly. “That’s just how Ms. Kovacs is… So all we can do is make the best of the time she lent us.”

Make the best of the time she lent us, huh…?

Victor closed his eyes. Alice didn’t know that they had already run out of time. He considered lying to her, but he felt that it was his responsibility to be honest with her. He owed her that much.

“... Alice. The world will end around tomorrow morning.”

He could feel her head momentarily tense on his shoulder. Then, she relaxed even more than before.

“... I see,” she whispered. “I guess that’s how it is.”

Alice seemed awfully calm about the revelation. He wondered if it was due to the fact that she had technically already died once. He almost envied her.

And with the reminder of his impending death, Victor was now partly wishing that he had escaped instead of staying. Once again, he was filled with guilt.

“You know, Alice. I’m quite afraid of death,” Victor admitted. “I don’t want to die. It almost feels wrong that I’m sitting here and not doing anything about it.”

“It’s natural… brother... It’s not very surprising.”

He shook his head. “But people like Abigail run into death like it’s nothing. Like the risk of death doesn’t matter to them. And some people even yearn for death.”

Alice turned her head slightly, then spoke slowly, taking multiple breaks to catch her breath.

“I don’t think anyone actually wants to die…. I think everyone just wants to rest, just for a little while… then wake up feeling reenergized, and maybe… find the world in a better place than it had been before.”

Alice took her head off his shoulder, then looked at him with her mismatched eyes.

“Because even after everything that’s happened…”

Alice momentarily looked away from him, softly touching her mask in thought. Then she looked back into his eyes with a longing gaze.

“... I still want to live a bit longer… And I’m almost certain that the rest of the world… feels the same way.”

Victor looked at the mask, then sighed. “Admittedly, I had always assumed that you would have lost the will to live after the accident.”

She shook her head. “No… never. Maybe I wished things were better… but I wanted to live... And I still do.”

Victor bit his lip, feeling a sadness come over his heart, knowing that even his brave little sister felt the same way about death.

“Maybe there’s a heaven,” he said in an attempt to comfort her. “Maybe you and Abigail will get to live a long, long life after this.”

Alice tilted her head. “What about you… brother?”

“Me?” He chuckled bitterly. “I’m pretty sure I’m going to hell, after all the crazy stunts I’ve pulled in the past.”

Alice pouted. “You’re coming with us… brother.”

He closed his eyes, slowly starting to take his joke seriously. If hell existed, would he be sent there after all he had done? He had spent his life trying to rebel against the natural order of the world. He had destroyed most of his friendly ties. He had betrayed the love of his life in the pursuit of immortality. And of course, he had neglected his poor sister for fourteen years.

He shrugged with a somber grin. “All things considered, I don’t think any god would give me a ticket to heaven. They must hate me for trying too hard to break their system.”

She tapped her lips, as if in thought, then whispered with a gentle smile.

“If God sentenced you to damnation… I would go down to hell with you.”

Victor sighed. He assumed that she didn’t mean it literally and had said it without much thought, but simply hearing those words come out of her mouth made him feel hurt inside. He felt as if he had been told that he was irreplaceable to her, that she would undo nothing if it meant she could be with him like this.

Perhaps humanity’s greatest strength and weakness is the same thing, he thought. Devotion.

Then, Alice yawned. Victor bit his lip, believing it was time to bring it all to an end.

He sighed. “It’s about time we fell asleep.”

Alice weakly smiled. “Oh… I see...”

Victor frowned, as if sensing an unusual feeling of disappointment in her voice. But he continued. In the end, this was all that was left to do.

“Where do you want to fall asleep, Alice?”

“... Why don’t we fall asleep out on the grass?... I’ll bring some blankets over.”

“Really? Won’t it be cold?”

She shook her head. “I’ve done this a few times with Ms. Kovacs… we’ll make it work.”

As Alice stood up and went back inside to grab her things, he eventually pursed his lips in silence, realizing that Abigail had spent quality time with his sister that he missed out on.

***

The two siblings sat on a sleeping pad a few meters away from the patio with a lamp gently lighting up their area.

As Alice had implied, it wasn’t cold at all. It was very warm. And as he sat quietly under the night sky, with his sister quietly sitting across him, he stared and stared at the sky. It was a sea of stars. Every single star in the universe seemed to be visible that night.

Somewhere out there… is Perseus, he thought. The hero who rescued Andromeda. And somewhere below, Atlas is holding up the sky for everyone’s sake. Including mine. And next to me is my sister, who covers her scars for my sake.

… I feel like I am secretly the luckiest man alive. I feel at peace.

He stared at his right hand. He wasn’t shaking, which was unusual, seeing that he was finally at death’s door.

I feel relaxed, even in the face of death. Maybe this is what salvation feels like.

He clenched his fist.

… But even though I’m relaxed, I feel like there’s something I’ve left undone. I don’t get why.

Alice yawned once more, snapping him out of his thoughts back into the situation at hand. They had brought a box of melatonin gummies to ensure that they would get quality sleep–to ensure that they wouldn’t wake up before the sky came crashing down on them. It would be a peaceful death. All that remained was falling asleep.

After they took the gummies, they would fall asleep within the next hour. That’s what mattered now. That’s how they could avoid pain and fear.

Alice spoke, resting the box on her laps. “Well… brother… I guess this is it.”

… This is it? he thought. But his mouth said otherwise.

“Yeah, Alice. There’s nothing left to worry about anymore.”

Alice nodded, then spun open the lid.

… This is… it? he thought again. He looked at Alice’s face. Despite the mask covering half her face, he could still see a strange look on her face. As if she was somber. But it didn’t feel like she was afraid of what was to come. It looked more like she had regrets.

But that was to be expected. They had lost fourteen years of time they should have spent together, and now the world was ending and they had no more time left. They had no more time left.

… There was no more time left…

…

…

…

As Alice reached her hand inside the box, he grabbed her wrist. Alice didn’t say or do anything. She simply stared down at the box as if her brain was now running on autopilot until the end would arrive, just as he had been. But Victor had finally managed to break out of his own mask of normalcy.

“Alice…” he gently held both her hands, ignoring the texture of her scarred hand. “Sister…”

Alice didn’t speak, perhaps due to the fact that his hands were unintentionally stopping her from being able to press her neck and speak. Or perhaps she was silent due to the fact that all that remained in her mind now was going to sleep.

“... It shouldn’t be this way,” he said. “Nothing should have been this way. We should have had lots, lots, and lots of more fun together. So I can’t… I can’t just end it off like this.”

He shook his head. “I don’t want to sleep just yet. I want to spend more time with you, my sister. I want to know what you’ve been up to, what you would have done if we had more time. I want to... I want to live just a little longer. I don’t care about trying to pretend like everything is okay. I want to be with you just a little longer. If I’m with you, I don’t care if the sky crashes down on me as I speak…!”

“... THE WORLD IS ENDING, AND I WANT TO SPEND MORE TIME TALKING TO MY SISTER!!!”

“Even a minute... Even a second... There is nothing that can replace that..! I would trade all of my useless scientific knowledge if it meant that I can fill my head with memories of you…”

“... I want to be with you for a little longer, so please…”

“... Stay awake with me…”

Victor’s hands left her hands, and he looked down as he tried to wipe away the tears in his eyes.

Then, he could hear Alice whisper.

“... I feel the same way... brother…”

Then, as he wiped away his tears, he could see that she was smiling again with a gentle blush on her face.

As more tears flowed from his eyes, Victor reached over the box and hugged her in a way he had never done before, even in their youth; in a way that completely broke the image of Victor Truman, the man who wanted to become god; in a way that completely broke the image of Victor Truman, the boy who wanted to change the world.

Right now, he was nothing more than an older brother who just wanted to spend more time with his little sister. And with that realization, the brother prevented himself from making the same mistake he had made fourteen years ago.

As the brother clung onto the sister, the sister gently patted the head of her older sibling, returning his feelings.

“... Let’s stay awake as long as we can... together.”