Shame if Someone Report Misuse of Taxpayer Money...

I crept up the makeshift volcanic steps, wincing at every creak. Through our tree-bandaged wall, I could hear Gran Gran's snoring from where she'd fallen asleep watching her dramas. The TV cast flickering shadows across her face as she dozed on her zaisu, head tilted back at an angle that guaranteed neck complaints by morning.

Little Shit chirped softly from my shoulder. I quickly pressed a finger to my lips. No waking the Gran Gran.

***

The next morning, Sae was already at our place, sipping a cup of coffee like she hadn't disappeared on us. When I tried asking where she'd been, she'd just give me her half-smile and change the subject. After the tenth dodge, I gave up.

The next couple weeks blurred together in a parade of weird normalcy. School was schooling. Kurumi started showing up at my place almost daily, phone in hand, claiming she needed photos of Little Shit for sponsorship opportunities.

"We can earn butt loads from this!" she'd say, but I caught the way her eyes lit up whenever Sae walked in.

And before I knew it, Golden Week had arrived - seven glorious days without school.

I rolled over in bed, savoring the lazy morning silence. Little Shit sprawled across my stomach, tiny snores vibrating through his body.

My stomach growled. Little Shit stirred in response, letting out a sleepy grunt. Guess it was time for breakfast.

I shuffled into the kitchen, where Sae sat at our cramped table reading the morning paper. She nodded without looking up.

"Coffee's fresh," she said, sliding a mug my way.

That's when I noticed Gran Gran in the corner, phone pressed to her ear, speaking in that sugary-sweet tone she only used for important occasions.

"Oh yes, she's right here! One moment-" Gran Gran thrust the phone at me before I could escape.

"Hello?"

"Ryūka? Is that you?" Dad's familiar voice crackled through the line. "Your grandmother's been keeping me updated about your new... heating situation. And this field study trip she mentioned?"

I shot Gran Gran a look, but she delibrately avoided eye contact.

"Yeah, the ugh, furnace is working great. Really energy efficient." I watched steam curl from the Furnace Kaiju's vents outside our window. "How's work?"

"Oh you know, same old." There was a pause. "You doing okay? Really okay?"

"Yeah, Dad. I'm fine. Just normal high school stuff: studying, making lots of friends…"

Well, if you counted a military babysitter, a ditsy best friend, a stoic secretary, and a baby kaiju as "lots." The words felt hollow in my mouth, but they were better than making him worry from halfway across the world.

For a moment, I wanted to tell him about @LittlePoopOfficial. The money was piling up faster than I'd expected. Enough for a plane ticket, even. I pictured Dad's face when I showed up at his work site, imagined his shocked expression when his broke ass daughter handed him a first-class ticket home.

But the last time I checked, flights were still being grounded. So that moment would have to wait.

"Anyway, happy Golden Week. Wish I could be there since, well, it's the last Golden Week and all."

"It's alright, Dad."

"I swear I'll be back before the world ends."

"Yeah." The word hung in the air. What else could I say? 'Thanks for the empty promise?'

Instead, I muttered a quick "bye" and hung up.

Gran Gran clicked her tongue. "Pah, so awkward!" snatching the phone from my hand. "Anyway, your father, he say he not come back anytime soon. So, we do something fun ourselves this Golden Week. Your cousin Haruka live close by. We go visit him!"

"Haruka?" The name stirred some dusty memory of shared birthday party, but his face was a total blank. All I could recall was a mud-covered kid shoving rocks in his mouth and declaring the texture felt nice. We hadn't seen each other since we were what, five? Six?

"Yes, him! He doing very well now, you know? Work as mechanical engineer!"

Of course that's what she cared about. Still... with the world ending and all, maybe it wouldn't hurt to see how the guy turned out. See if he'd grown out of his rock-eating phase. At this point, anything was better than sitting around watching Gran Gran argue with the Furnace Kaiju about how long rice should be heated.

Gran Gran wasted no time, phone already pressed against her ear. "Ah, Haruka! Your favorite aunt here! We coming to visit you today. Yes, yes, Ryūka too! You remember her? Hiroshi's no good daughter?"

I hate Gran Gran sometimes.

"Perfect! We be there soon!" She hung up before he could protest.

"How are we even getting there?" I asked, already dreading the answer. The trains were barely running these days, and the last bus I'd seen had been ditched by the driver and was now commandeered by a flock of those bird kaiju.

Gran Gran's eyes slid to Sae. "Young Lady! You free today, yes?"

"Actually-" Sae started, but Gran Gran cut her off.

"I been meaning to ask. That fancy car you drive, government pay for that? Would be a shame if someone report misuse of taxpayer money..."

"I... suppose I could drive you."

"Wonderful!" Gran Gran clapped her hands. "We leave in thirty minutes!"

As Gran Gran bustled around gathering her things, I noticed the Furnace Kaiju's eyes following her movements. Its furnace dimmed slightly, like a puppy watching its owner pack for vacation. Who'd have thought a fifteen-story death machine could look so... glum?

"Pack light! And bring study materials! Haruka very smart, maybe he tutor you!"

Little Shit squeaked from my shoulder, eyeing my half-packed bag. I slipped in one more melon bread to keep him quiet. The textbooks piled by my door stayed right where they were. I'd rather eat rocks like Haruka than study during Golden Week.

"Ryūka! Why you take so long? Young Lady waiting in car!"

"Coming!" I zipped up my bag and headed for the door. The Furnace Kaiju's eyes followed us, looking more dejected with each step. 

"Stop being dramatic," Gran Gran wagged her finger at the kaiju. "We only gone a night. You big boy, you can handle!"

Outside, Sae leaned against her black sedan, keys dangling from one finger. She wore a neutral expression, but I caught the slight twitch in her eye as Gran Gran approached with what looked like her entire pantry in shopping bags.

"What? They're snacks! Long drive need proper fuel!"

I slid into the backseat, Little Shit settling onto my lap.

"Remember what I say!" Gran Gran called out to the Furnace Kaiju one last time. "No more fixing things with trees!"

The kaiju's furnace dimmed to a flicker as Sae started the engine.