A Touch, A Breath, A Heart

Throughout the night, I kept waking up.
Then I would fall asleep again.
It was as if my body and mind existed in two different dimensions—one trying to heal, the other getting lost in dreams.
I was trying to piece together what happened after Ray and the others left.

Fragments kept flashing through my mind.
The clearest one was when I saw Lyra.
I thought it was just a dream.
But... what if it wasn’t?

In that half-asleep state, sometimes I saw the windowpane trembling slightly,
sometimes I heard the ticking of the clock on the wall,
and sometimes, I thought I heard someone whispering my name.

Finally, morning came.
When I opened my eyes, soft daylight had filled the room.
My body still felt battered, but at least I could lift my head now.

Slowly, I sat up.
Out of the corner of my eye, I glanced at my phone.
It was almost nine o'clock.
My parents weren't home—they must have already left for work.

First thing, I dragged myself to the bathroom.
A warm shower washed away some of the weight clinging to my body.
Slipping into a clean T-shirt and heading downstairs, I was starting to feel a little better.
At least I could stand.

Just as I grabbed something to eat in the kitchen—
The doorbell rang.
Who could it be?
I opened the door slowly.
And there she was.
Lyra.
She was standing there with a small bag in her hand, tilting her head slightly, looking up at me with a shy smile.

"Good morning..." she said softly. "When I came by yesterday, you didn’t look so well. I brought a few things... I was worried. Thought I'd check in."

Her voice was delicate,
as if she felt guilty for showing up.
A strange warmth spread inside me.
After seeing her distant and distracted yesterday, here she was now, waiting silently, holding something she brought with her.
The words tangled in my throat.

All I could do was open the door wider:
"Come in."

Lyra stepped inside. I hadn't even had breakfast yet, and my mind was still reeling from yesterday.
She handed me the bag she was holding.

"What’s this?" I asked curiously.

"Tea. I thought it might help you recover faster," she said. Somehow, just looking into Lyra’s eyes made my heart race faster.

"T-thank you."

"You seem better today?" she asked, peering at me.

"Yeah. My fever had gone down when I woke up."

"I’m glad." Lyra smiled warmly at me.

What was this sweet, strange atmosphere between us?

"Since you brought tea... Should we drink some?"

"S-sure."

"Alright, you go sit down. I'll take care of it."

"But you..." Lyra looked at me with concern.

"Don’t worry, I’m better now. I can handle it," I said with a smile.

"O-okay." She obeyed, though she didn’t seem fully convinced.

After preparing the tea, I joined her in the living room. Lyra was curiously looking around.
It hit me then—we were alone.
Just Lyra and me...
At my place.
I fought hard to keep my cool and not let the shock show on my face.

I placed the tea on the table. Lyra kept glancing around.

"Something caught your eye?" I asked with a smile.

"W-well, I'd be lying if I said no. Especially that record player over there," she said, pointing at the corner where my dad kept his old collection of vintage records.

"Oh, that? It’s one of my dad’s hobbies."

"Wow... Stuff like that’s rare these days," she said, clearly amazed.

"Yeah, kinda."

A silence settled between us, as if we had run out of things to talk about.
But there was still something gnawing at me.
That strange ten-minute call on my phone that I couldn’t remember—was it really just a dream? I had to know.

"Lyra, there’s something I need to ask you," I said seriously. Lyra immediately turned her gaze to me.

"Yes?"

"After you guys left yesterday, it shows that I called you. But I don’t remember what we talked about... What happened?"

Lyra stared at me with an unreadable sharpness.
"Yesterday... right after we left, you called me. You weren’t speaking, though. Everyone was already on their way home, so I didn’t tell the others," she said, pausing briefly. "I thought maybe you forgot something, so I came back.
You were lying there in bed, burning up with a fever. You had fallen asleep with your phone still in your hand."

I swallowed hard.
She had come back and found me at my most vulnerable.

"I hope... I didn’t cause you too much trouble. I really don’t remember anything..."
Even the thought of troubling such a kind person made my chest tighten.

"N-not at all! You pretty much slept through the whole thing," Lyra said, sounding embarrassed.

I let out a deep breath, relieved.
"What happened afterward?" I asked.

"I stayed for a while, just to make sure your fever went down... Then I left."

"I-I see. I didn’t say anything weird, did I?"
Lyra paused for a moment. I realized I might have been pushing my luck with so many questions.

But then she gave me a soft smile.
"No, you didn’t."
Her voice was low and sincere, almost as if implying something deeper... but I couldn’t remember.

"Oh okay." I feel relieved "Good... Thank goodness." I was saying to myself. 
Small silences floated between us like a melody.

"By the way, Yuta," she said.

"Hm?"

"Do you play games too?" She pointed at my console hooked up to the TV.
The conversation shifted 180 degrees out of nowhere.

"Y-yeah, I play sometimes," I replied, still a bit stunned.

"What kind of games?"

"Mostly story-driven ones. When my friends are over, fighting games. How about you?"

"Console games? Nah. But I sometimes help my little sister with tablet games—like baking or dress-up ones," she said with a laugh.

"I-I see," I said, smiling back.
I wondered what her little sister was like.

Lyra kept looking at the console. Maybe she wanted to play?
There was only one way to find out.

"Do you want to try?"
"What?" Lyra turned to me, surprised. Apparently, that wasn’t what she had been thinking. "I-I don’t mind," she eventually said.

I turned on the console.
Since story games were more for one player, a fighting game made more sense.

"Let me show you how to play first..."
I explained the basic idea of the game and pointed out the buttons.

"You use B and A for combos—"
"Which ones are those?"
"These ones."
Just as I pointed at them, Lyra’s fingers brushed against mine.
We both flinched slightly.

"Sorry," I said in a panic.
"It’s fine," she replied quickly.

And so, we started playing.
Lyra turned out to be way better than I had expected.
So much so that by the third round, I started losing.
After about an hour and a half...

I was completely defeated.

Staring down at the floor in disappointment,
I couldn't help but laugh inwardly.

"Hehehe, so can I say I won?" Lyra turned to me with a teasing smile.

"Y-yeah... I admit defeat. You’re really good," I said, forcing a smile.

"Only because I had a good teacher," she said, pointing at me with a grin.

"No way, it’s all you," I said, laughing back.
Just seeing her smile made my whole body feel like it was on fire.

Lyra glanced at her phone to check the time.

"Yuta, I’m heading out of town this afternoon. So I should probably get going soon. You need to rest more too."
Though she said it casually, I could tell she was a little sad to leave.

I was a bit surprised.
"You’re going out of town? Shouldn’t you be packing if you’re leaving today?" I asked.

"I packed last night. I just... didn’t feel right leaving you like this," she said, blushing.

Damn it, don’t say things like that while blushing... You’re gonna make me blush too!

"Do your parents know you’re here?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

Lyra looked startled.
She seemed to be thinking something over in her head.

"I-I told them I’d be home before noon," she said, stammering.

"So basically, you didn’t tell them," I muttered.

This girl was either really innocent or incredibly irresponsible.
She had a boyfriend, yet here she was, secretly visiting another guy’s house.
Unbelievable.

"A-anyway!" Lyra stood up abruptly. "Don’t forget to drink the other teas today. Where are your medicines?"

"I-in my room."

"Good. Don’t forget them, either."

Even though she was acting all motherly, it felt so different.

I walked her to the bus stop to see her off.

"I’ll text you every two hours. If you don’t reply, I’ll call. If you don’t answer that either, I’ll tell Ray," she said, pointing at me seriously.

"That’s a bit much, don’t you think?" I said, worried.
Nothing would happen to me.

"Is it? If you’d seen yourself yesterday..."
Her face fell, clearly upset.

And that’s when I realized again—
I couldn’t stand seeing Lyra sad.
It tore me apart.

"I’m sorry," I said, swallowing hard.
Our eyes met.
Those moss-green eyes still danced in my mind like yesterday’s emerald dreams.

"I’ll be more careful. I’ll text you even before you have to text me, I promise," I said, smiling.

"Good," she said, satisfied.

"And you too—text me when you get there. I’ll worry otherwise.
Not that I have anyone else to complain to," I added jokingly, though I meant it.

Lyra looked surprised.
We stared at each other again—and she smiled.

"Okay, I’ll definitely text you."

Oh god,
I wanted to hug her so badly right then.
I wanted to pull her into my arms, smell her hair,
feel her warmth,
hear her breath.
I just wanted to be near her.

Just then, the bus arrived.

"See you," she said with a bittersweet smile. "I’ll be back by two weeks later."

"Alright. Safe travels," I said, waving at her.

"Thanks." I saw her smiling face again and for the last time.

And just like that—
I was left alone once again.
Only the noise inside my head remained.

Only thoughts of Lyra remained.

How funny our first meeting had been...

How we unexpectedly bumped into each other in person.

How she celebrated my birthday with me.

How she helped me with music.

How she apologized after missing the festival she had always wanted to go to.

How she called me to meet on New Year’s Day.

How she treated me to coffee to thank me.

How she helped me solve my issue with Emi.

How she became someone I talked to every night and morning.

How she became someone I went to the library with.

How, when I got sick,
she came to me—
and stayed by my side.

Before her, my life had been so ordinary, so lonely.

Nights were silent,
Days were empty.

People and emotions felt meaningless,
And touching someone emotionally felt lifeless.

My heart ached.
She had a boyfriend.

I had held myself back.
Told myself these feelings were wrong.

But I couldn’t hold back anymore.

The only thing filling my mind was her.
And my heart refused to be silenced.

Even though months had passed without her,
I was already missing her.

I missed her beautiful eyes,
Her meaningful glances.

I felt like a piece of garbage—
but I couldn’t deny it anymore.

What if scenarios washed over me like tsunamis.
One week apart felt like an eternity.

I collapsed just inside the front door, not even bothering to take off my shoes.

Trying to push down these feelings was meaningless now.
Trying to act normal was pointless.

My whole body felt cold.

Leaning against the door, staring up at the ceiling...

I realized it.

I was hopelessly, completely in love with Lyra.