Dream Of Life

Tanaka Shina, age seven, was reading a popular shoujo magazine behind the school playground. Amidst the chaos of her classmates, shouting and running around the play structures, she much preferred the quiet solace of getting lost in a romantic story. Like most people her age, she was very much into the latest anime and hero shows, but shoujo manga was where she found her true calling. She didn't seem to fit in with the other students, as she was often excluded from the many cliques formed during recess, becoming the prime target for schoolyard bullying.

"Hey, look! Chibi Tanaka is reading another girly manga!"

"Why is she so short?! She's like a midget!"

"She's like a tanto blade! I'm a wakizasha; she's a tanto! Since her name is Tanaka, we can call her Tan-to!"

The students erupted into laughter, pointing mocking fingers at the toddler sized student. They began comparing themselves to different katana sizes, all the while shouting insulting nicknames at Shina.
"Tanto! Tanto! Tanto!"

Shina curled into a ball, cupping her hands against her ears.
"I'm not a tanto! The doctor said I'm just growing slower!"

One of the braver male students walked closer, crossing his arms as he loomed over the tiny child. His eyes were filled with malice and mischief.
"You guys hear that? Tanto said she has a medical condition!"

Shina's eyes filled with tears, she hid her crying face behind her magazine, sniffling softly.
"It's not a medical condition! I'm not a tanto!"

The boy smacked her shoujo magazine from her hands, using the heel of his shoe to smash it into the dirt below.
"Whatever, shorty! You're always going to be a tiny little tanto blade!"

"Stop it! You're ruining my magazine! I used my allowance to buy that!"
Shina quickly leaped in front of the boy's shoe, taking a few hard kicks to her back to protect her precious manga.
"Ow! Stop it! You're hurting me!"

The boy squatted down, spitting on her face. He wore a wicked smirk, and the students surrounded the small girl in a circle.
"Shoujo manga is for little girls. You should just throw that crap in the garbage!"

"B-but, I am a little girl. I'm still a kid, just like you."
Shina formed a protective barrier with her arms around her face. She could see the malicious gaze in the students eyes as he studied her small stature.

"Did you just call me a kid?! I'm, like, a whole foot and a half taller than you! That makes me your superior!"
The boy slapped Shina across the face, causing her to yelp in distress.

"Hey, Matsuda, you're taking it a little too far."
One of the boy's friends spoke from a few feet away. Another chimed in shortly after.
"Yeah, man. Come on, she's just trying to read."

The student known as Matsuda stood up, his height giving him a greatly intimidating advantage over the other boys.
"Too far?! No, you guys are too soft. Start kicking Tanto!"

The boys froze in fear, unable to resist the authority of the school's master bully. They reluctantly began kicking dirt into Shina's face, wearing expressions of regret and displeasure.

Shina sobbed loudly, coughing up chunks of dirt covered mucus.
"No! Please, stop! I can't breathe!"

"Sorry, Tanto. Matsuda's orders."

The last lunch bell rang to life through the school's loudspeakers, signifying the end of recess. The boys quickly rushed away to class, leaving Matsuda and Shina on the playground. Matsuda squatted down and spoke in a menacing whisper.
"If you tell anyone that I kicked you, I'll ruin you!"

Shina managed to prop herself on her elbow, staring down at her now brown dress, which was once a beautiful, pale white. She grabbed her crumpled magazine, and limped into the classroom.

Shina's teacher noticed the bruises and dirt covering her body, immediately squatting down to examine her wounds.
"Tanaka, are you alright?! What happened?!"

Matsuda sat at his desk, glaring daggers at Shina from afar. Shina knew what would happen if she admitted the truth, so she quickly thought up a lie as to save herself another beatdown.
"I, um... I fell on the playground."

"It's true. Tanto fell because she's too short to reach the monkey bars!"
Matsuda chimed in from his desk, acting as if he wasn't involved in causing Shina's injuries. The teacher quickly turned to scold Fujisaki Matsuda for his rude remark.

"Fujisaki, that wasn't very nice! You can't go calling your fellow students short, just because you're the tallest! Apologize to Tanaka!"

Matsuda wore a sinister grin as he stood up and bowed his head.
"Please forgive me, Tanto!"

The teacher narrowed her eyes at Matsuda, noticing his hidden smirk and use of an unfamiliar nickname.
"Why are you calling her Tanto? Her name is Tanaka!"

From the back of the classroom, an anonymous student shouted toward the teacher.
"Because, she's tiny, like a tanto blade!"

"Who said that?! Come on, show yourself!"
The teacher's eyes darted around the room, but nobody owned up to the comment. She squatted back down to Shina's level, giving the small girl a pat on the head.
"Don't listen to them, Tanaka. Besides, even people as strong as the samurai needed their tanto blades. They may be small, but they're mighty and powerful; just like your heart."

Shina's eyes sparkled with this new revelation. She couldn't help but find truth and trust in her teacher's words. For once in her life, she felt powerful; like a tanto blade.
"Really? The samurai relied on their tanto blades?"

Her teacher nodded, standing back up and motioning for Shina to take her seat.
"That's right. Even Masamune made beautiful tanto blades in his free time. Come talk to me after class, okay?"

After school, Shina cutely waited in her seat, watching as her classmates exited the building in a frenzy to get home. Her teacher sat on the edge of her wooden desk, smiling down at her.
"Tanaka, I want you to be honest with me."

Shina gazed up at her teacher, studying the woman's bright eyes.
"Okay, Sensei."

"Were those boys bullying you during lunch? If so, I'll have to take drastic measures to ensure it won't happen again. Don't worry, I'll keep it a secret between us."

Shina's eyes widened. She immediately nodded her head, her small, silver twin tails bouncing up and down from the forceful motion.
"They were. They called me a midget and a shorty. I just wanted to read my manga, but they stomped all over it."

"That's unacceptable! I'll make sure they don't do it again. In the meantime, here's some money for a new shoujo magazine."
The teacher handed Shina a few paper bills, to which she eagerly accepted.

"Really?! For me?! Thank you, Sensei!"
Shina clutched the money close to her chest, as if it were the most precious thing in the world.

"Now, about that nickname. Do you like it? If not, we can come up with an even better one. That way, the boys can't make fun of you anymore."

Shina tapped her chin as she pondered. She swayed side to side as her imagination ran wild.
"Well, I really like how you said tanto blades are a samurai's greatest weapon. But, I also don't want to be called short."

The teacher smiled, leaning closer with mischievous eyes. Her lips curled into a playful smirk.
"What about Tan-Tan? You know, like Tan from Tanaka and Tan meaning Chan?"

Shina's jaw dropped. She had never been given such a nice nickname before, and it felt special to her. She whispered "Tan-Tan" like a monk chanting a mantra; testing how it sounded as it rolled off her tongue.
"Tan-Tan... I love it! It makes me feel cute!"

Her teacher ruffled her silver hair, giggling along with the small student.
"Tan-Tan, it is. It suits you quite well. It's soft and cute, just like you."

"Maybe, when I'm a grown up, I can use Tanto as my pen name! I'm going to be a shoujo manga author! That way, I can taunt the bullies when I'm rich and famous! Tanto, the small, fierce blade!"
Shina struck a victory pose, sticking out a peace sign with her adorably small fingers.

"I love that idea! I know you'll make it big, Tan-Tan. I'll be waiting for the day I see the name Tanto on a shoujo series!"

After her story had concluded, Nishi smothered Tan-Tan in a suffocating embrace; rubbing her on the head with practiced intimacy. He understood now why she had chosen her pen name, and how hard it must have been to give it up in order to achieve their dream. He held a newfound respect for his girlfriend, knowing that this manga of theirs meant more to her than she was letting on.
"You gave up your only connection to your teacher, just so we could make a manga together?"

Tan-Tan shook her head, gently pulling herself closer to Nishi's face.
"I tried to look at it in a more positive light. I'm abandoning the name those bullies gave me, not the nickname my teacher gave me. So what if they don't know me through my old pen name, I have a much better one that I've already been using since that day."

Nishi stared at Tan-Tan through half lidded eyes. He traced the round contours of her cheeks, gently resting his thumb against her plump lower lip.
"Your new pen name... Are you really going to-"

"Yes... I'm going to go by Tan-Tan."