Die of Fate (Part 2)

“Do you… know what’s gonna happen to us?”

“Well, they’ve been doom posting us through the radio like crazy!” Aimi shrugs her shoulders, letting out a giant laugh. “I mean like, isn’t it harder to not get the memo?”

“Are you… not scared?” I grip the baby.

“Of course, I’m scared!” Aimi looks downwards, her expression darkens, “But… not in the usual sense…”

“Usual sense?” I tilt my head.

“I mean like, you know…” Aimi raised her head, looking confused, “It’s more like I’m scared that everything I’ve done up until now means nothing, I guess… I’ve heard a bunch of advice, but like, all they did is make me more depressed!” Aimi slumps her shoulders.

“Ahh… I get what you mean…” I broke my gaze away from her, reallocating it back towards the children at the park, “…I wish I could be as carefree as them…”

“They really are blessed…” Aimi looks towards the park, a soft smile on her face, “But… I don’t think it’s impossible for us to be like them too…”

“What do you mean by that?” I tilt my head.

“How do I explain it…” Aimi gazes upwards, her eyes wandering. “Like, I’d rather worry about how my boy is going to spend his day, what I’ll be eating later on into the day, what kind of fun things I could do, and go to sleep thinking about what I’ll do tomorrow… Stuff like that, you know?” Aimi lets out a giant grin.

“…”

“Cause like, whether I die now, or tomorrow, or in a year, it doesn’t change the fact that I’ll be dead anyway…” Aimi looks down, gently patting the baby’s head. “But personally, I like thinking and making changes!” Aimi straightened her shoulders.

“…”

“I think that being able to live in this world is a pretty cool privilege to have…” Aimi says, looking up towards the sky.

“…”

I follow her gaze along, an ocean of indigo blue paints the sky, the grey clouds float within it, as if someone had smudged paint all over them.

“…”

This?

This is the so-called privilege we were given?

“…If it’s a privilege to live in this world, then why do you think god decided the end for us?” I ask, keeping my gaze stuck towards the endless blue.

“God, huh…” Aimi muttered, “For me, I like thinking that god isn’t a thing…”

“…Eh?” I broke my gaze from the sky, directing it towards Aimi’s longing expression, her eyes still locked towards it.

“I think it’s a bit unfair to blame the guy for everything, you know?” Aimi looks back towards me, a perplexed expression dawns on her face, “It’s not like I ever hear him say what he thinks and feels about our earth… Heck, there’s a good chance he doesn’t want this to happen!”

“Well, then, how do you explain the world we’re currently in?” I pressed my tone of voice, waking the baby up in surprise.

“Oioioi, don’t scare my boy now…” Aimi closes in on me, placing Koharu’s child on her lap as she pats her baby’s head, “Shh, shh, shh… It’s okay… this lady is a nice person…”

After a few minutes, the baby slowly closes his eyes, going back to his slumber.

“S-Sorry…” I lower my head.

“It’s fine, it’s fine!” Aimi waves her hand around. “I get why you’re upset, so don’t worry about it!”

“…”

“But yeah… I think if I were to say: ‘Hey! God exists, you know!’, It’ll just end up making me feel more miserable…” Aimi then relocates her gaze towards the kids in the park, “That’s why… I like to think that we just got a bad pull rate!”

“Bad pull… I’m sorry, what?” I tilt my head.

“O-Ohh… my bad, my bad…” Aimi’s face flushes, scratching her head, “I just mean that we were just unlucky, is all…”

“Unlucky…?”

“Yeah! When I think like that, it like, helped me accept the reality we got as it is…” Aimi pats the baby’s head that’s sleeping soundly in her lap.

“But… don’t you think it’s kind of sad to deny someone’s existence just to help you feel more at ease?” I ask.

“Well, if they don’t exist in the first place, then why do I have to feel bad about it?” Aimi lowers her shoulders, pouting her mouth.

“…”

“Plus, I think it’s better to deny something and move on than to hate on someone and let yourself be stuck in that feeling…” Aimi smiled.

“…”

“I think like, it for real helps me continue to live!” Aimi lets out a giant smile, the corners of her eyes forming wrinkles.

“…But… how does accepting our bad luck give you the drive to continue?” I ask, peering into her eyes.

“Well…” Aimi placed her hand below her chin as she continued, “It gives me more freedom to do what I want, I think…”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I ask.

“I’m not good with words, so I’m sorry that it’s hard to explain this…” Aimi scratched her cheek before continuing, “Like, I think the general gist is that I want to have control over the things I do, I guess…”

“…Freedom, huh…”

I gaze up towards the sky once again.

Even though the sun is only at its halfway point, the sky is still bathed in indigo blue and the clouds in a grayish color, giving the impression that the day is about to come to an end, despite it only going through the halfway cycle.

Yet for some reason, beyond the indigo blue, beyond the gray clouds,

There are multiple beams of light shining through the clouds from above, bathing parts of the clouds in an orange hue, giving brief light through them. The shine may not be enough to penetrate through the gray color,

But right now…

It’s providing a small flicker of shine…

Acting like a torch that illuminates parts of the darkness…

“Pretty…”

“Oooh! Seems like we got lucky today!” Aimi says in awe.

“Lucky, huh…”

Yeah…

That sounds… really nice…

The die of fate rolled a one on us…

This is why we’re in the situation we’re in right now…

This is why the world is ending…

No one is at fault here…

Because,

“Nobody did this…”

“Heeeey!”

“…?”

In the distance, there’s a girl with a short bob hairstyle with rounded glasses walking towards us whilst holding onto a plastic bag filled with bentos. Next to her, there’s a young man with silver hair bringing in the same thing as well.

“Oh! Seems like it's time for lunch!” Aimi stood herself up, placing the baby inside a baby cart as she walked over to the two figures in the distance.

“…”

Seems like it’s time for work…

…

…..

……