Then and Now

Flames were spread out throughout the darkness. Rena was staring in horror at the sight in front of her. She didn’t know what to do in this situation, she was stuck and couldn’t move. Suddenly she heard a voice called out, “Rena? Rena?”, the voice sounded urgent, like someone was calling out for help. Rena knew whose voice it was; it was Kaori’s voice.

“”Kaori?”, Rena yelled back out. Hearing Kaori’s voice gave her the energy she needed to move, to stand up amidst the burning flames. Now all she could think about was where Kaori was, not caring if she was going to get burned in the surrounding fire. Rena started running towards where she thought she heard the voice. “Kaori, I’m coming!”

“Rena? Rena?”, Kaori’s voice called out again, but this time it sounded like it came from a different direction. Rena changed course and ran towards the new direction. “Rena? Rena? Rena?”, suddenly all the voices sounded like they were coming in different directions. Rena didn’t know what to do. She stopped in her tracks and tried to listen and look around but there was no sign of Kaori, only her voice was heard. “Rena?”, the voice called out again. Rena gave up and lowered herself to the ground and cried.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.”, she said to herself. She felt hopeless and helpless in this situation. The only thing she could do was cry and she felt weak because of that.

Rena woke up from this nightmare with tears streaming down her face. She wiped off the tears and sat up on her futon mattress. These dreams have been occurring for the past several days and caused her great stress. As she was trying to calm herself down, she broke down in tears again. Her room door opened and Sakurako poked her head in.

“Grandma? What’s wrong?”, Sakurako have been worried about her grandmother for the past few days. Rena had been keeping up a facade around Sakurako but she could read through her grandmother. She blamed herself for bringing up the past; her curiosity got the best of her and it only hurt someone she loved. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have been so curious. You’re suffering because of me.”, she went inside the room to comfort her grandmother.

“No, no, it’s not your fault. I thought I was over the past but I guess I still blame myself for what happened.”

“What do you mean?

“It’s just…I feel like things could’ve been different.” The blame arose from her feeling like she could've saved Kaori. She felt that she was being too selfish by thinking about her own life during that time.

Sakurako was curious about what her grandmother was talking about. She wanted to know but she felt that digging into the past again will only cause great stress again. She decided that if her grandma wanted to tell the story then she would and she won’t try to force it out of her.

“If you ever want to talk, I’ll listen.”, Sakurako reassured her grandmother and gave her a big smile to show her genuineness. 

Rena smiled at her granddaughter’s words. “You look so much like her when you smile.”, Rena thought to herself.

“Sasaki-san was my friend.”, Rena started. Sakurako’s smile turned into curiosity. She didn’t expect her grandma to suddenly open up now, but she was glad that her questions could be answered. “I called her Kaori-chan and we knew each other since elementary school but...she died in the fire during high school.”

Sakurako realized that her grandma was talking about the girl in her dreams. So Sasaki-san was a real person and not someone her mind made up. But, why was she dreaming about her? Sakurako hasn't even met her, let alone know what she looked like. Sakurako sat there in silence as she ran through these questions in her head. 

“I need to go pray,” her grandma got up. Sakurako still sat there in silence deep in her own thoughts. “About your dream, Kaori-chan told me something about a promise but I didn’t know what it was about.”

Sakurako was surprised to hear about this and let out a small gasp. Maybe her dream was a memory; a memory that only Kaori and Chiharu shared.

Rena went into the shrine room and knelt down on the floor. She bowed down, “thank you for bringing Kaori back to me.”

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March 14, 1967

4:30PM

“Hey, Kaori, have you thought about what you’ll say to him?”, Rena and Kaori were packing up after their track meet. They were walking down the first floor to change their shoes.

“Umm, I’m not sure.”

Rena sighed, “I know you’ll accept his confession. Just tell me the truth, I won’t be jealous.” Rena knew how her friend felt but she was kind of happy that Kaori was trying to spare her feelings. Rena have always been by Kaori’s side and she felt that maybe she was suffocating her a bit. It’s time that she let someone else be by Kaori’s side; let Kaori run to someone else if she has a problem. Rena knew that one day Kaori would have to rely on someone else. “What’s the first thing you want to do with him once you start dating?”. Kaori blushed at the sound of the question. Rena noticed this and tried to backtrack her question. “Ah, sorry, I didn’t mean to put you on the spot like that?”, Rena felt embarrassed for her curiosity.

“No it’s fine”, Kaori returned to her normal smile. “The first thing I want to do with him…” her smile changed into a sentimental one as if she was remembering a happy memory. “I want him to not forget our promise.” Rena was surprised by her friend’s answer.

“A promise? What promise?”

Kaori let out a small chuckle, “He made me a promise and I hope he didn’t forget about it.” Rena wanted to dig deeper into what her friend meant but it’s clear from her vague answer that she probably doesn’t want to tell her yet.

“Well, if he breaks it, tell me and I can knock some sense into him.” Rena reassured her friend that she will always have her back. “By the way, have you opened the gift he gave you?”

“Gift box?”, Kaori’s suddenly remembered. “Ah, it’s still in our class, I have to go get it!”, Kaori was panicking because she forgot something important.

“Just get it tomorrow! It’ll still be here.”

“I’ll be quick, please wait for me here!”, Kaori pleaded to her friend. Rena couldn’t help but be defeated by her friend’s worriedness so she agreed.

“I’ll be here.”, and with that, Kaori started running upstairs.

“Geez, how can she run so much after doing track.” Rena plopped herself on the bench in the room. It didn’t take long before something went off. The walls around her were in flames. Smoke was wavering around the room. The fire was spreading rapidly and it was starting to take over the floor. Rena remembered that Kaori was upstairs. The fire already spread to the stairs but Rena was willing to take the chance to go and try to save her friend.

“Stop where you are!”, a man’s voice was heard yelling out. It was one of the firemen that responded to the emergency.

“My friend is up there, I have to save her!”, Rena felt like she was wasting time; for all she knew, the fire could’ve already spread through their classroom.

“Calm down, we have help coming over. Stay there, I will get you out of here.”, the firemen ran in quickly to escape as much pain as possible and carried Rena out of the school. Once he put her down, he reassured her, “We’ll save your friend, I promise you.” His words gave Rena hope that Kaori would be okay. The hope she had would only be short-lived.

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March 14, 1967

11:00PM

Rena was kneeling down in her room and was praying. She had never been that spiritual as a person but if she couldn’t support Kaori by her side, she could at least support her in the afterlife. Tears were running down her cheeks as she quietly sobbed as to not let anyone else in her house know she was crying. She just wanted to be left alone.

“Please rest well Kaori. I hope we will get to see each other again. If not in the afterlife, then maybe in the next life. As long as you can be with me again.”