Reprise

Asuka wakes up to the sound of twittering birds outside of her bedroom window. She stares up at the ceiling, slowly blinking the remains of sleep out of her eyes. After a while she no longer feels like lounging and props herself up, her body tenses automatically to massage and stretch her atrophied muscles, making her shoulders crack. With a short exhale her body is released, and she hunches over and absently looks around.

Looking around she meets a familiar scene of disarray. Her clothes strewn or hanging on furniture and various bits of trash from weeks ago litter the floor like a tornado assaulted her room. Though she had been living like this for so long already, something about this irks her today. She lifts her covers from on top of her and swings her legs onto the ground. Surveying the damage to with another look of disapproval come up Asuka bends down to start clearing up the mess around her bed.

The first thing she takes care of is the trash. A plastic bin she uses to discard it is ready to overflow with ripped paper, empty drink containers and snack wrappers. She starts with the bin itself, taking it out of the room and into the kitchen to dispose of it in two of the few remaining trash bags.

Intimidated by the foreboding task of separating burnable from non-burnable, she tried to make a game out of it and pushed her limits until every visible piece of garbage is out of her room. The last thing she needs to do is put the trash out. She doesn’t remember when garbage collection day is, that wasn’t her task before she was alone. Concluding that she can’t be bothered to check, Asuka goes to the door with bundles of trash in her hand. Right as she opens it, she sees someone already standing on the porch with their hand raised in a knocking gesture.

With a strangled yelp she jumps backwards, almost tripping on the bags she dropped. Managing to keep her balance, Asuka grips the kitchen counter, her heart palpitating in her chest.

“Oh my, I’m so sorry! Are you okay, Asuka-chan?” Kasuga-san frets at the front entrance, unsure if she should come in to help or not. Her dark brown ponytail rests over the left shoulder of her pale-yellow cardigan.

“Ah, Kasuga-san,” Asuka breathes, her pulse relaxing, “y-yes, I’m fine! Did you need something?”

“Well, I just wanted to check in on you and drop off something. I made too much omurice last night and wanted to share some with you.” She holds up a package wrapped in a plaid patterned blue cloth.

Asuka has regained her balance by now and straightens herself to humbly accept the usual pittance.

“Thank you very much,” she has tried in the past to refuse Kasuga-san’s good will, but the older woman’s insistence has always beaten hers out. As time went on, she would feel bad if she refused anymore, as though it might come off like Asuka isn’t a fan of her cooking rather than just being modest.

“Think nothing of it, I’m just getting rid of extra food, Kasuga-san waves. Asuka finds the idea of there being leftover omurice of all things a bit silly (???), but she keeps that to herself.

A few moments pass and Asuka begins to realize that Kasuga-san has been observing her silently. Suddenly Asuka is aware of how unkempt she must look in comparison. Her blue pajamas have a stain from where she spilled cup tomato soup she got from the nearest convenience store. She still hadn’t brushed her hair from this morning after reluctantly doing it the last time she went out the day before for her excursion to the river. She shifts on her heels uncomfortably.

“Asuka-chan” she says carefully, “I’m sure it’s been very hard for you after Kyo-kun...” she deliberately trails off out of respect and places a hand over her chest, “don’t be afraid to come over whenever you feel like it. You’re always welcome to rely on us if you need help with anything.” Kasuga-san lived with her husband and two children.

But Asuka didn’t know what to say. There’s no way she could ask her any more than she had already received from her. She has her own problems to deal with, Asuka doesn’t want to trouble her any more than this. The most she can do is smile and thank Kasuga-san for her support thus far. After sharing a few more pleasantries, Kasuga-san returns home, and Asuka sees her off from the door before closing it. She felt as though an already minuscule smolder had been extinguished. What could it be? She’s beyond grateful that someone bothers to check up on her and yet….

It comes to her attention that she’s still holding onto the wrapped dish Kasuga-san took the trouble to put together for her. She considers just putting it in the fridge for another time but remembers her obligation to fuel her body to achieve her mission. She moves to the counter to untie the knot and reveals a square glass bowl. When she opens it, a pleasant and familiar smell wafts up. Her stomach growls.

After heating it up in the microwave, Asuka steps over the trash she dropped earlier and heads toward the kitchen table. She hesitates before sitting down. Countless meals shared with her brother drift into her brain and keep her frozen. The memory of his presence lingering so strongly makes it hard for her to feel comfortable eating without him. Instead, she sits at the coffee table in front of the tv. She doesn’t watch it much anymore, but it’s still much preferable. She sets her food and a drink on the table and brings her hands together in habitual prayer before digging in.

After her meal, she takes her empty bowl to the sink to meet the other unwashed dishes. Feeling reinvigorated after receiving nutrients, wonders if she should keep up the momentum she started that morning with cleaning up, but it lasts no longer than a candle in the wind. It’s more important to use this energy on tackling the next item on Kyo’s list.

Returning to her slightly less cluttered room, she sit at her desk where the notebooks rests and opens it to the bucket list entries. She takes the time to go over the two items she has already completed as a way to feel some satisfying motivation. Where “finally beat castle destinies” is written, she took the time to write a short synopsis of the story along with define a bus cut scene and what it took to defeat him and how long it took her. She isn’t exactly sure why Kyo lift so much open space for every line, but she figured she would put it to use as documentation.

After taking the four-leaf clover that she found that night home, she took two scraps of laminating paper she had lying around and laminated it using a machine: a remnant of her old interests. Right now, she has it pasted on the second page left open for it, beside it is a journal entry of the circumstances that led to her finding it along with the time she spent with Youta.

Pleased with her progress, Asuka prepares herself to take on the next challenge.