Still Learning to Stand

Miyami took several breaths in succession as she leaned back against the storage room door, doing her best to calm herself as she took refuge behind the wooden barrier. Unlike out there, in here, it was safe—quiet. She could perceive nothing but the muffled sounds of customers milling in the shop and the maturing afternoon sun through the lone window.

*bzzt*

*♫ 'Go for it, honey! Be your confident self!' ♫*

The dark-haired girl immediately flinched as she heard her phone vibrate alongside her new, much less embarrassing and much more emboldening message tone. She'd set it to something that'd try and help her get her mind in the right place after everything that'd been happening this past week. But right now, the reminder of what she had to do just made her stomach churn.

That was probably her uncle.

He'd asked her to search to see if there were any Fiery Emblem branded battery packs they hadn't added to the inventory yet. Apparently, a customer had called asking if there were any more on his way to check out the store. He'd wanted her to check because, well, she'd played the games as a kid—and if course, she still did to this day.

Miyami glanced at the large, metal shelving units towering beside her. Each of them was stuffed with various boxes, all labeled and organized by their contents. Unfortunately, she had just looked through all of them and couldn't find anything. The last resort was for her to somehow dive into the front room again to search through the sales floor.

She let out a small whimper at the idea.

It was fine. She could do this; it was Friday after all, and soon she'd be able to indulge in her favorite weekend ritual of curling up in bed with the aircon on full blast, her laptop open in front of her, and her favorite shows playing from the screen. She'd be able to eat the snacks she'd bought too and maybe even finish a whole tub of ice cream—

'Hey, you going to keep fantasizing about being a shut-in, or are you going to check the message and get back to work?'

Miyami jumped a little, looking over to the hallucinatory chibi of Hinoka sitting on her shoulder, dangling its legs and wearing an irritated scowl on its face.

'J-just a second! I need to catch my breath!' she thought back, wiping the sweat off her brow.

'You've been 'catching your breath' for like three minutes now. Come on. The sooner you get this over with, the sooner you'll be able to spend time with me, the stunning Hinoka, again~'

Miyami almost began to cry at her mind's cruel, cruel taunts. Ever since that Tuesday night when Hinoka had so graciously reached out to her, the two of them had been chatting and spending time with one another nearly every evening. It'd been a wonderful, blissful reprieve from the hell that was adjusting to her work life. Yet now her brain was constantly using it as a bribe.

To make matters worse, this imaginary, cruel—and admittedly very cute—little Hinoka in her head had recently started to pop into her mind from time to time as an extension of it, always egging her on to do things she was uncomfortable with in order to do things like: grow as a person, or be a better employee, or earn a little extra praise from the real Hinoka.

It was horribly annoying and effective. And it was all her own fault. She'd become addicted to conversing with someone who might've actually liked talking with her—like their casual late-night chats and the way Hinoka would occasionally send her cute photos of cats from her evening jogs.

But could anyone really blame her?

She'd never had a friend like her before! Someone who was so honest, so open with their feelings. So unashamed to be who they were and so quick to apologize when they'd crossed a boundary—not that she'd really crossed any at this point. The way that Hinoka seemed to always know what to do, to have the right words when she needed it most…

And probably the most surprising and comforting thing of all: the fact that Hinoka had just accepted her. She'd finally confirmed things after their chat, and the response was just a simple, 'Yeah, okay.' It was a small, trivial act, but the relief and happiness that it had brought her was indescribable.

She'd never thought that someone like her could ever find a friend like Hinoka.

And she was beyond grateful.

'…oi. You're getting lost in your thoughts again. Look at your darn phone.'

Miyami let out a tiny eep, her gaze shifting back to the chibi before fumbling around with her phone. She didn't want to make imaginary, adorable Hinoka angry.

'Right, sorry. Let me just do that,' she thought, opening the message preview window as the chibi poofed away into the recesses of her mind.

────────⊳⋆⊲────────

 >> Thought about it. Think there might be some that I miscatalogued. They're the ones with the red and black casing. If you can't find anything in the storeroom, can you check the store floor, Miyami?

 >> Was on one of the mountain-side facing shelves. Second from the top if my memory is still working.

 >> If you don't see it there, just assume it's not there and tell him to check the bigger store downtown. Thanks, Miyami!

────────⊳⋆⊲────────

"…" She sighed as her eyes scanned the message, her shoulders sagging. There it was. The confirmation she didn't want to see.

A little part of her brightened up at seeing her name at least. He'd really been trying to get better about it since the mishap.

She turned back around and brushed her palm against the wood, feeling the slight vibrations from the noise outside. It sounded busy. Too busy. But she knew she could do this.

After hyping herself up even more, she turned the doorknob with a click and stepped into the fray.

***

Miyami shuffled across the store's main floor, looking around uncertainly for the rechargeable battery pack as the afternoon sun streamed in through the front windows. It seemed that there were even more people than when she'd entered the storeroom. Many were probably just in here to escape the mild yet noticeable summer heat.

The sound of the ventilation system kicking in again filled the room, and Miyami felt a brief momentary relief as cold air blew across her neck, before tensing up again.

She could do this. For Hinoka, her uncle, and herself.

She made her way through the store, her eyes scanning the shelves as she searched for the elusive device. The murmur of the crowd, the smell of packaging, and the constant hum of the air conditioners all blended together in her mind, creating a sensory overload that made her head spin.

How did Hinoka deal with this on such a regular basis? She could barely squeak through any customers that she interacted with, yet Hinoka was often out here dealing with hundreds each day, handling returns, complaints, and everything else all at once.

Miyami briefly glanced over to where she was working behind the register. Her eyes were sharp, her posture was perfect, and her hands flew merchandise across the countertop with practiced ease as she talked to each customer in a calm, almost detached tone.

Ah, she was so cool! She wondered what was going through her mind right now—

*BONK!*

"…" Miyami blinked several times in a daze before realizing her surroundings again. She'd accidentally walked straight into the shelf she'd been heading toward, and knocked over a small box onto the floor.

Ow.

Miyami whimpered a bit as she rubbed at her hair and bent down to pick up the fallen item. Her hands tentatively turned over the merchandise checking for any signs of damage.

She really hoped that Hinoka hadn't seen that.

After seeing there was nothing noticeable. Miyami allowed herself a relieved smile before gingerly placing it back on the shelf and getting back to her search.

Good. No harm, no foul. Guess this was what she got for getting lost in her thoughts at work though. She really needed to be more careful—

*THUNK!*

*tumble, tumble*

Miyami tensed up as she felt her butt knock into a few more boxes behind her, sending them all toppling down to the linoleum.

Ack!

She hurriedly turned around to try pick them all up, her face burning from embarrassment at being so clumsy. She heard a few customers giggling as she hastily gathered up the victims of her posterior, her hands almost fumbling the whole lot as they shook from anxiety.

Curse her unwieldy behind! She was supposed to just be finding a simple item, but here she was, knocking things over like a bumbling retail kaiju!

Miyami's hands settled down long enough for her to properly place the boxes back on their shelf.

Whew. Good. She couldn't afford to waste any more time like this though, especially when she still had to get that battery pack. Now, if she was right, it should be somewhere around. But where could it be—

Her eyes stopped mid-scan of her environment, locking onto a potential obstacle right above her.

…Was that stack of boxes always so precariously stacked?

"…"

Miyami stared at it, slowly backing away to try and make sure nothing else fell on her. Hah, it was a good thing she'd caught that. Look at her, making progress at being a competent, observant, and productive woman!

Her cheeks raised in a self-congratulatory smile, and she could just imagine chibi Hinoka praising her for her foresight as her heart raced in her chest.

Alright, well, she would just get a ladder to readjust it before something happened. There was one in the storage room she could use if she remembered correctly. This was definitely not an excuse to hide in there again—

*creeeeek*

"…"

Miyami didn't like that sound.

Her head was half-way tilted up before—

*thud, tumble, thud, thud*

*THUMP!*

Miyami was suddenly on the ground, face down, butt up with surprisingly heavy merchandise scattered all around her. A few customers had backed away from the avalanche, and a few more were now concernedly watching her as an awkward shock rippled across the room.

"…" The entire shop went dead quiet.

Miyami's lips quivered as her fragile sense of accomplishment from before shattered. She was near certain that Hinoka had seen that display from the register too—there was no way she hadn't.

Her face burned hot, and her vision grew misty. The humiliation, the embarrassment, the sheer shame of it all made her heart ache.

Before it completely ate at her though, her fists clenched up beside her, and a sudden fire reignited in her chest.

N-no! She was fine! She had to stay strong.

Sure that might've been mortifying, but she was a full-grown woman: one who was brave and wouldn't cry at such a thing. She would be more like Hinoka, proud, strong, and rolling with the punches—

*tap, tap, tap* The sudden sound of a cane against the floor grew closer, echoing through the shop and interrupting her hype.

"What's that noise? O-oh, it's Fiery Emblem lady. Good to see you again. I made a call earlier. Did you manage to find the battery pack yet?"

"…" Miyami turned her head to look at the approaching customer—the old man she had helped from her first day. He eventually stopped right next to her, seemingly looking her over.

S-so this was the customer she was supposed to help? Of course he was. W-well, at least it wasn't all bad. It looked like he going to help her up, even after she'd unwittingly subjected him to that FEI rant.

Miyami gave him a quivering smile as she tried moving from beneath the pile of merchandise, just about to extend a hand to him in gratitude.

However, he instead bent down to pick up one of the many things that had buried her body.

"Ah, there it is! Wonderful. I think this'll work just fine."

"…" She blinked.

"Hehe, didn't know you were a performer too, Miss Talk-a-lot. But your show was very good, thank you. I really should come here more often."

"…"

Nothing but silence filled the room as he happily hummed his way over to the register, and Hinoka wordlessly scanned it with a beep.

Miyami's mind went blank as her body went limp again, pressing her cheeks against the cold ground. She was unable to do anything as everyone's eyes cautiously drifted back to her.

"…"

*sniffle*

Tears started to form at the corners of her eyes, and her face glowed a bright red. She couldn't stop it anymore. She was going to cry.

At least she'd found the batteries first.